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EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: *Ali* on January 13, 2013, 20:57:55 pm

Title: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 13, 2013, 20:57:55 pm
This thread is for support and advice of weaning breast feeding

Continued from WEANING thread #2... Come share experiences and offer support
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Kangarruu on January 22, 2013, 19:44:05 pm
Hi everyone,
My DD just turned a year on Jan 10th and I had decided to stop pumping at work about a week before. We introduced cow's milk into her afternoon sippy cups and she barely even noticed. She stretched out her milk drinking over the day, rather than at set times like she used to. But other than that she adjusted well.

However, this past week DD has stopped wanting to nurse at bedtime and mornings. At first it just showed through her biting. She would nurse a little and then bite down and pull ...ow to say the least. I would immediately take her off, say a stern "no biting" and put her down. When she would climb back into my lap, I would let her relatch, but she would just bite down again. I would do it 2-3 times, and if she continued I'd just skip the nursing and offer her a sippy cup a few minutes later. Now when I sit down to nurse with her she just turns her head or lays down with her mouth closed. I thought the biting was related to teething and maybe she doesn't want to nurse for that reason, but is this just her self-weaning?

It seems so abrupt it caught me off guard, and I'm feeling a little emotional about it. I'm pumping a little at night for relief and to maintain my supply a little longer. A part of me is saying to just take this opportunity to stop nursing since it's a natural transition, but the other part of me is missing the closeness. Any thoughts?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 23, 2013, 22:42:50 pm
Hugs Kanga. If you decide you want to take this opportunity to wean then I know many mamas find a temporary loss of interest is an easy time to do so. If you decide you want to continue then I think all you can do is offer and one day she may take it again. Perhaps set a time limit on how long you will offer for and if she doesn't take any in that time and you still feel ok about you could just stop offering?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on January 24, 2013, 01:40:57 am
I weaned my dd1 when she was doing a lot of biting, she was just under a year.  I think, like Ali said, it really all depends on what you're aiming for.  If you really want to nurse longer, you can persist and I think she'll come back to it eventually.  If not, you can move forward without nursing and she'll be fine.  (((hugs))), not an easy decision to make!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Kangarruu on January 24, 2013, 18:25:08 pm
Thanks ladies. I did try to offer a few more times but I think she's maintaining her position lol. I guess once they're ready to stop they just know what they want. Her  milk intake has increased by a lot over the last week, and I doubt she was getting that much from BF/sippy cup combo, so I guess it's all for the best.

It was nice just rolling over this morning and having DH take DD out of the room :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 24, 2013, 19:45:55 pm
Sounds like a nice way to wean :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Little toes on April 01, 2013, 02:55:51 am
Hoping to get some advice.....DS is a boob boy and TBH I think I've had enough. I feel bad saying that but lately the feeds are painful and I just wish he'd take a bottle. I've tried to get him on a bottle for months now and always end up giving up, then after a week or so trying again. He's never cared for a bottle and I was always easier for me to BF. I thought he'd have weaned himself by now but the boy wants what he wants. When he does take a bottle its only an ounce or two. Then when I'm holding him to fall asleep, he turns his head in towards me and asks (doesn't talk yet but I know what he wants). At his age should I even try a bottle still? DD was stuck on a bottle til recently so I don't want to drag it on like I did with her. Not sure what to do.....
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on April 01, 2013, 19:42:32 pm
I wouldn't bother with a bottle at this stage. Will he take a sippy/straw cup/open cup?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Little toes on April 02, 2013, 02:27:01 am
He drinks from a sippy, just water during the day. He wants to BF at nap and bedtime, a habit.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on April 02, 2013, 12:10:25 pm
What if you offer a treat like hot choc in a sippy in place of the BF before the nap or BT? You can make it weaker to wean off it later.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on April 28, 2013, 23:31:39 pm
I am ready to wean ds2 now he is 2 but he is a boobaholic. I don't even know where to start. I have been doing don't offer don't refuse for months now but he asks a lot still.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on April 29, 2013, 18:33:11 pm
Will a bit of distraction work, or have you already tried that too?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on April 30, 2013, 03:26:32 am
When's he feeding right now?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 04, 2013, 22:14:59 pm
Sorry girls for the slow reply. He hasn't fed ON for a good yr. He feeds at wu and BT and usually 1 or 2x in the day (either around his nap or when I get in from work). Distraction works sometimes but not others. If I try to distract and he really wants it he begs "just one minute Mama please" with the sign for pls and one repeatedly, it breaks my heart.

The last 2 days I have moved the BF away from BT in the hope that distraction will be easier if it is not part of the routine. Still have to work on the am feed as this is on wu and he wakes before K and I don't like him screaming and waking K. Yesterday he had BF downstairs before his bath and today DH was home and so he was so distracted I managed not to feed at all since the morning. He didn't ask at all. We are going on holiday next week, I am hoping he will be distracted and out of routine enough to not ask much.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on May 06, 2013, 02:36:53 am
I think the holiday might really help you keep him distracted by changing up the routine.  It's amazing how quickly then can forget at this age (even a smart little guy like B!)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 06, 2013, 12:19:48 pm
Can your DH get him up and take him downstairs instead of you?
Or even if you get him up going downstairs to feed might help cut it short and somedays you may be able to distract with breakfast.
Does he fall back to sleep when you feed in your bed (assuming you do on WU)? Same with BT feed, if you can do it downstairs before heading up to bed he should be less sleepy and lingering. That is what we did with Cadan.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on May 08, 2013, 02:20:30 am
hi all, my DD is 18mths and is on 1 bf on wu. It's time to wean to try and get back af and ttc.. Started to try today to see what would happen out of interest as DD woke at 6am rather than 5am and dh was already up and about too. It was so sad, I took her into the living room and DD got quite genuinely upset, took my hand and led me back to bed to bf!! This one is going to be a challenge. She dropped all the other feeds just fine, the post bath pm one was the last to go about a month ago, that went ok. Sigh.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MiasMama on May 15, 2013, 17:46:26 pm
Hi,

I think I'll be joining in on this thread. I'm nervous to wean DD2 as I weaned DD1 at 4 months on to formula because of allergy issues. DD2 is just over 10 months and nurses every 4 hours around the clock. And doesn't take a bottle. As a social mom, I am having a hard time not being able to leave in the evening for a Mom break. I want her to get the nutrition she needs and made a goal to make it to 12 months. Based on what I've been reading on here, I am "safe" to start dropping a feed. Her 11am feed seems like the best choice. I think I may try to pump for a little while to see if she'll take something (bottle) now, but I won't hold my breath.

Phew. Here it goes!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on May 15, 2013, 18:31:24 pm
Good luck :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 16, 2013, 13:20:39 pm
I wouldn't bother with aa bottle at that age MM, I w
Would go straight to a sippy cup. From a social pov it wouldn't be the end of the world if you went out and Lo missed the last feed. Maybe you should drop that bt feed rather than the 11am one if that is what is your main issue.
For us the holiday did not help. He asked even more I think because it was hot and he was tired. But since we got back I have bitten the bullet. It has been ok. I fed on Wu yesterday but nothing since. I have told him he is a big boy now so there is no more milk in therere. He is askiing sporadically but not too upset. Dh got hiim up this morning which helped.
Any tips for me to get rid of the milk and be comfortable.
I am working tomorrow and dh will put them to bed then 3 days home alone so fx will be easier by then.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on May 16, 2013, 18:22:58 pm
Cold compresses and expressing off just enough to feel comfortable, but not enough for you body to think it needs to carry on producing that milk. HTH :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 16, 2013, 20:23:57 pm
Had a melt down after nap pleading one minute mama signs and all, I felt awful but DH distracted him to take the bins out lol. He didn't even ask at bt at least. I am surprisingly comfortable. Typically I am at work tomorrow when it will likely get sore as that is the longest we have been.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on May 17, 2013, 02:49:33 am
Good luck!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on May 17, 2013, 05:25:56 am
I am.starting to think about weaning too, but feel so sad about it  :'( :'(. I really have had enough, and feel that to feed til two has been more than I hoped for, but the thought of her dropping just makes me ache  :'(.  That does get better, right? Just need someone to remind me!!

KM, how are you finding it emotionally?
E is boob mad too, and I think that's partly why I find the thought of weaning her so hard-I know she will find it hard  :(.
 She still takes 3-4 feeds per day - do I just start dropping them gradually?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 17, 2013, 10:16:42 am
Hugs ladies.
Claire with DS1 we dropped the daytime ones first as they were easiest to tweak the routine and offer snacks or distractions. The morning one we had DH get him up and take him downstairs for breakfast for a few mornings and then I was able to do the same without much upset. With the BT feed I moved it before the BT routine and then he lost interest in it and then would just have a sip or skip all together. Then I was able to distract him and after a while without it I just told him he was a big boy who didn't have milk anymore. That was over a number of months we moved from 4 to no BFs so it was nice and gradual.
I hope you don't feel you have to wean because of your DD's age. You can wait until after 2 if you feel happy to continue.

Caitlin, what about getting your DH to get her up a few mornings so she is less likely to ask for the BF?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on May 17, 2013, 17:50:49 pm
We did roughly the same as Ali, but mainly down to DD's lack of interest in those feeds anyway. 
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on May 18, 2013, 08:02:01 am
thanks ali, i do think that's a good idea. We have a greyhound who gets walked first thing and dh usually does that.. we may swap for a bit.  DD is waking at 5am though (since january!), and isn't waking happy generally, so the bf kept her happy and let me lie in bed for a bit longer lol.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 19, 2013, 19:16:51 pm
I am finding B is sleeping later now the bf is gone Caitlin, maybe you lo would too. It has been 4.5days with no bf here now.

I am finding it emotional because I know b loves his boob. He was having 4 bf while I have been off the last 2 weeks. I have been trying for months to drop some but he wasn't happy. He only has more than 2 when i am off work. DH works shifts so can't consistently do anything (wu/bt) which makes it difficult to just change routine. Few tears today after short nap and when I got up after a rare lie in this morning but eventually distract able.

I am not uncomfortable at all, bit lopsided which I hope will settle but haven't need to express at all. One bonus.

I am getting loads of lovely hugs which is nice, guess he is craving the closeness. He is not drinking much milk or eating much calcium but will worry about that later. He feels I am palming him off with milk I think because I was offering it when he was asking for bf. will have to cook more with dairy.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on May 19, 2013, 19:59:10 pm
*hugs*  It's totally normal to feel a bit blue when weaning.  It's the same sort of hormonal slump you get a couple of days after delivery :-*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on May 19, 2013, 23:14:01 pm
KM i hope hope hope DD sleeps later once we drop the feed! Hope you are feeling ok today xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 20, 2013, 06:21:50 am
Hugs KM. You've done so well.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on May 20, 2013, 10:44:50 am
Well, seems L is drinking less and my supply is dwindling. He has told me a few times this week that they're 'not working'. This morning he was 'mixing together' - stirring my breast with his foot to see if it would make more milk... it didn't; then he was digging - I once explained to him that I have holes in my nipple that the milk comes out - he was trying to dig another hole to get more milk :(

Ah well, he has BF over 2 years after an excrutiating and very difficult start and I think he will drop these last feeds on his own in the next little while. FX DH doesn't try to accelerate the process again!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on May 20, 2013, 16:25:16 pm
Well done Bec :-*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on May 20, 2013, 18:10:31 pm
Awesome work ladies! :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 21, 2013, 22:08:34 pm
Great bex. How are the other boobie lo doing?
6 days now. B cried a lot yesterday but was ok this morning, looked sad and was very snugly.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on May 21, 2013, 22:44:10 pm
I'm reading along. Audrey is 19 months and a very booby baby. Nursing = love to her and she breaks her heart if I refuse. I never really offer milk but she asks many times a day. Sometimes I can persuade her to settle for cuddles but often only boob will do and she is inconsolable (and ofcourse when she's upset she wants it more so she gets herself in a right state). (PS I was only refusing because it was an hour before bedtime and if I did milk at 5.30pm there's be nothing there at bedtime!). I'm not really feeling any urgency QUITE yet about weaning - but I am conscious that by this stage I was doing just two feeds per day with Stan, and by 20 months was doing bedtime only... we are nowhere near that. No idea what milk to drop first, either. So. Reading, thinking.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on May 25, 2013, 04:52:19 am
we did it today! Dd slept in until 6am so took opportunity of the weekend to not bf and distract with peppa pig and prunes lol she had a big tantrum before i gave her the prunes, but all in all it went ok. One day at a time now....
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 25, 2013, 06:25:44 am
Well done. Fingers crossed it goes smoothly
.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on May 25, 2013, 21:51:03 pm
I never dropped feeds Anna, I just went from several to none with both mine who were boob addicts, much like A.

Good luck  Caitlin

We are on day 10 no boob now so done I guess. B still sticks his hand in my top for comfort and lays on them a lot. He sometimes sakes boobie? But laughs with it. Cute, no tears since I posted last. Phew.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Erin M on May 26, 2013, 00:48:06 am
Nice work ladies.  KM, a friend of mine had the same thing with her ds after she weaned him just after his second birthday -- he would stick his hand in her shirt all the time -- eventually he started to stick his hand in his own shirt to feel his "boobies" and then he eventually just stopped.  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on May 26, 2013, 01:51:48 am
day 2 here, much like yesterday, but it was a 5:20am wu and not 6am!! I hope the neighbours can't hear DD's tantrum screaming that early...
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 07, 2013, 23:30:07 pm
Hello ladies...

My DD2 is now 16 months old and EBF. I've been trying to wean her since she was 12 months old. Slowly I have been reducing feeds until she was just on morning and evening feeds. She has been waking at 5.15am/5.30am now for nearly 7 months! I don't understand why as since 6 months old she has never been fed during the night and always around 6.30am never before. This morning I just decided that I was going to stop BF. I'd never had strong feeling about it before so I thought I should just go with it. I'm also applying for evening jobs as I don't want to put my DD's into daycare so I might not be able to feed her for much longer in the evening anyway. Well, this morning was absolutely dreadful. She cried and kept going over to the sofa where I normally feed her and patting the seat  :'( She wouldn't drink any milk from her sippy and hardly had any water all day either! The evening went better as she normally has a couple of oz's of milk in her sippy and then wants to BF. Tonight I took her straight upstairs after her milk with her sister for her bath and she didn't seem too bothered. Absolutely dreading tomorrow morning. I have such mixed feelings about it and am surprised how sad I feel. I didn't even realise last night that that would be the final time I would BF. I felt absolutely dreadful this morning as she was obviously nowhere near ready to stop. Gosh, this is so hard  :'(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on June 08, 2013, 13:05:44 pm
If she wasn't that bothered about losing the BT feed and you're thinking about evening work, what about keeping the morning feed for just a bit longer until she's more ready to stop it?  Or could she be distracted by something else?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 08, 2013, 16:39:24 pm
I did think about keeping the morning feed but TBH I don't think she will ever self wean. My GP told me a few months ago when I feel ready just to quit altogether??? My DH was of the same opinion. I guess I didn't want to confuse her as I told her that "boobies were empty". This morning I gave her milk again in her sippy and she went histerical. She was fine as long as I didn't approach her with it. Thing is she's not drinking at all from her last drink at 6.30pm the night before, until her snack around 9.30am the following day when she has a little water. Hopefully, given time, she will start to drink her milk with her sister in the mornings. That's how she started with the evening milk, copying her sister.

My boobs are absolutely killing me today. So much so that it's difficult to lift her and hold her. Sleeping is going to be very uncomfortable too. Does anyone know how long it takes for this to subside? Thanks.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on June 08, 2013, 19:57:22 pm
They'll all wean eventually, if that's any comfort.  FWIW, weaning cold turkey isn't recommended.  If actively weaning, one would usually drop one feed at a time to reduce emotional distress in LO (and physical discomfort for mum) as much as possible.

If you're still going to continue to wean, you may want to hand express just a tiny bit until you feel a bit more comfortable and use some cold compresses to reduce swelling.  Otherwise there are some other options available like don't offer, don't refuse (more info here Weaning)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 09, 2013, 15:33:30 pm
Thanks Fiver

I read the weaning link about 4 months ago and have been reducing feeds gradually at 1 a month since then not every 3-7 days that was suggested so I have been taking it very slowly. Firstly at 11 months I had to wean from the pump as originally I was only using it twice a day to get milk for her cereal and maintain supply but I ended up getting so much I donated it...1200ozs in total  :) The evening feed was practically non-existent so I was working on the morning feed doing distraction. Definitely not cold turkey. Thankfully this morning went much better and there was no crying or patting of the sofa. I'm still feeling pretty blue about it though as she will definitely be my last baby  :'( Still I reckon 16 months is pretty good going  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 09, 2013, 15:36:47 pm
Oh...just incase someone is reading this with a freezer full of expressed milk. Rather than throw it away, google "Human Milk 4 Human Babies". There are alot of people out there that would be more than grateful for donations  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on June 09, 2013, 17:58:39 pm
Cessation of breastfeeding gives a hormonal slump similar to the baby blues following delivery, so be kind to yourself x
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 09, 2013, 19:27:03 pm
16mo is very good going yes :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 09, 2013, 22:37:02 pm
16mo is fantastic. I felt very emotional that first few days after weaning. It will pass.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on June 10, 2013, 00:44:35 am
We're done! Morning tantrums for 4 days and it was all over! Yaaay!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 10, 2013, 15:37:43 pm
Thanks for your support xx

Today is day 4 and no tears again this morning...only 2oz's of milk though  :(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 10, 2013, 15:40:59 pm
Mycatmonet...awesome results  :) Having read your previous posts I think we are in a similar situation. Is your LO still waking before 6am still?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on June 11, 2013, 05:22:19 am
hey! The past week dd had hand foot and mouth, so wasn't well, but all in all our wu is now later, 6:15am today. We have pushed bt out back to 7pm, and the nap at noon, so i can't pinpoint if it was the weaning that did it or a combo of things? Either way i am loving a lie in til 6:30am at the moment! Haven't had any really early ones like we used to!!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on June 11, 2013, 08:50:39 am
Well this morning I tried to skip BF - it did NOT go well. She got so so so upset, in the end I caved :( can't see how I'll ever get her off the boob.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: mycatmonet on June 11, 2013, 09:58:06 am
oh anna! Hugs! The upsettedness (i made up a new word!) is awful isn't it. xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on June 11, 2013, 10:00:16 am
It'll happen Anna :-*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 11, 2013, 15:25:09 pm
Mycatmonet...Sounds exactly like our routine but this morning my DD2 was awake at 5am!!! We left her and she settled on an off until final wake up at 6.15am. Previously before we stopped BF she would stand up and cry inconsolably and that would have been it. Fingers crossed she'll start sleeping later and I'll finally have a lie in too  :)

Anna...So sorry. It broke my heart too when you know that all they want is you. Stay strong it will get better xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on June 11, 2013, 16:51:57 pm
I don't know if I'm ready to do it yet. It's really just so that she'll eat some breakfast but maybe BF is better than porridge *shrug*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 11, 2013, 19:49:11 pm
Anna, unless you really wanted to wean her I wouldn't worry about her having a smaller breakfast. Colby is the same many days. Would you just have a shorter one if you fed her in a more exciting place where she could get distracted after initially sating her appetite? Colby will often take a shorter feed if Cadan and DH are in the room or if we come downstairs rather than staying in my room.

Well done ladies who have successfully weaned :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on June 11, 2013, 20:23:04 pm
Usually we're in the big bed with Stan chatting away or flying airplanes over our heads etc.  ::) ::) Most days she is having no breakfast at all, today was a good day and she had two spoonfuls of porridge and five raisins. But she's not exactly wasting away so I'm sure it's fine.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 11, 2013, 20:29:29 pm
I used to have to leave breakfast a good hr after bf Anna, now we have weaned it is the first thing b asks for " want my's brekfa mama"
B is sleeping until 6.20 or even 645 now we have weaned it was sometimes as early as 5am but rarely after 6 and it is slowly slipping later as we nap drop too which is nice.
I thought I would never wean b too. But it has happened. He stills keeps groping me but less and less.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on June 11, 2013, 20:31:50 pm
Yeh I know... it's probably unrealistic to expect her to eat breakfast 20 mins after a BF but she was doing it until recently. It's hard to juggle breakfast to make it later because we have to get out of the house to get Stan to school, and then we're usually either straight to the childminder or to playgroup... plus she has her lunch at 11.30, so there's a limited window!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 11, 2013, 20:35:12 pm
Yes when b was having an early lunch I just sort of accepted that he could have some fruit and eat well at lunch on days he didn't eat breakfast and he is also not wasting away as you say. Now he often eats breakfast when he wakes and still wants toast after the school run.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Megewansmum on June 11, 2013, 20:54:08 pm
Anna your DD looks absolutely gorgeous and completely angelic  :)  I would definitely not worry about breakfast. I'm sure BM is more nutritious anyway :)  I also leave brekkie an hour after milk or else she wouldn't eat anything but I used to feed her at 6.30am as she had already been awake for an hour by then :o I've been trying wean since 12 months but now she is at 16 months and we are finally weaned I'm surprised how much I miss it. I look at her and even in these past few days she looks so much more grown up and independant. Probably imagining it though. I still look at her and want to whisk her up and feed her...crazy really when it was my decision not hers  ??? Looking back I think I should've continued with the morning feed for a few months longer  :-\ If you are really undecided...I wouldn't recommend it. It is a true gift that you are giving her and one that only you can, brekkie or no brekkie xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on July 17, 2013, 13:31:34 pm
Hi everyone :D

I'm getting tired of the BT feed. Audrey usually eats well at tea and she's just not really hungry. She usually uses the time as an opportunity to practice her vocabulary, and is on and off the boob LITERALLY every 15 seconds while she 'talks' to me about her day, the room, everything she can hear, everything she knows. It's tiring and frustrating. She's on the boobs for a total of like 6-7 mins but at least half of that is her chatting and me saying "Audrey - milk!".

I'm thinking about giving her a sippy of cows milk and doing a story, then putting her in bed and see what happens... yikes. Would probably do that for a few days then start brushing teeth after the sippy (atm we do teeth then BF). I'm a bit scared because she really takes it to heart when refused BF... but it's clearly 'just' a comfort thing right now.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 17, 2013, 19:56:17 pm
That sounds like a plan Anna. Did you do it tonight?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on July 17, 2013, 20:06:59 pm
Naw - think I'm going to give it a couple more days because she's only just getting over this tummy bug (no bad poops today!) and I thought a cup of cows milk might be chancing our luck a bit. Maybe Friday as long as she stays better. Of course she concentrated and nursed well and peacefully without chatting all the way through tonight  ::) ::)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 17, 2013, 20:34:51 pm
Typical. Good luck for friday
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on September 05, 2013, 09:02:20 am
Hi everyone!  DD is a little over 7 months and occasionally goes without a night feeding and has been mostly comfort nursing at night - I think she is getting ready to night wean (I am certainly ready!). Is it going to badly decrease my milk supply?  If she sleeps from 7 to 7 (with last feed at 6:30pm)???
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on September 05, 2013, 20:28:45 pm
It did not affect mine at all, I got af back but by this point you are much more making milk to demand so if she drinks in the day you will make more then and less overnight. Maybe you will feel uncomfortable the first few nights, I had to express a small amount to sleep. Annoying when they are finally sttn but only a couple nights I think.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 06, 2013, 07:19:47 am
Unless you have previous issues with low supply then your body should just adapt to make milk when it is demanded.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on September 19, 2013, 20:24:19 pm
Well the first time in her life Audrey didn't have a BF on wake up this morning. Wasn't planned, but instead of carrying her straight to my bed, I got her out of her sleeping bag and she gave Stan a cuddle and then started toddling around and just sort of forgot about it. I was ready to BF if she asked, but she didn't, and next thing we were downstairs having breakfast.

Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on September 19, 2013, 20:46:18 pm
Bless her :)  Well done Audrey :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 19, 2013, 20:55:18 pm
Great Anna. I would try to keep going down for breakfast now if you want to drop the AM feed.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on September 19, 2013, 21:22:14 pm
I'm in really two minds! It's our only 'every day' feed left because we stopped the bedtime feed as she was just messing about instead of nursing. So maybe it's time? She's 23 months.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 19, 2013, 22:06:32 pm
Only you can decide if it's time I guess. What about don't offer and don't refuse and let her lead?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on October 12, 2013, 11:17:22 am
I'm just popping in for my bi-monthly "I want to wean her, but she's not having any of it  :P" post  ::)!  She is SO upset if I refuse her when she asks me, I am still trying to distract her sometimes, and occasionally it works but most of the time it doesn't.  I really don't know what to do  :-\.  She is still having two or three feeds a day. 
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 12, 2013, 11:26:42 am
Same here Claire. Was coming to write the same post. Any time I suggest milk in a cup instead, she cries as if to say "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!" I'm really ready to be done. 'Don't offer don't refuse' absolutely doesn't fly here. I never offer.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on October 12, 2013, 11:32:41 am
I wondered how you were doing Anna! Yep, I never offer either  :P!  I think because it is so much *not* about the milk, that I wonder if we need to come up with something that fills their need for closeness instead?  A cuddle doesn't do it for E, but I might try doing a dance or something  ???!  The other thing is that I'm wondering if it might be better for me to just quite cold turkey - it feels really cruel  :(, but I just wonder if she would find it hard for a couple of days and then be alright.  But, I have been telling myself that for 6 months and still not got round to doing it as I doubt myself. 
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 12, 2013, 12:13:33 pm
Yeh I think cold turkey is the only way for us. Will prob be a few days of tears. But I think she'll 'get it' if I say my boobies are broken, milk is all gone. As a last resort I expect she would go for cuddles with me with her 'guys' (loveys).
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on October 12, 2013, 18:23:20 pm
I tried talking to Ev about it tonight.  "We might need to stop having milk at bedtime soon Ev as mummies nipples aren't working very well anymore are they?" ( :P)....she took a long, thoughtful pause and said "......maybe you just have a big drink of water?" in a little hopeful voice!  So that went well  ::)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on October 12, 2013, 18:37:36 pm
These LOs, huh?!  No good suggestions as mine both stopped of their own accords (earlier than yours now are)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 12, 2013, 19:07:29 pm
Anna, could you tell her after her birthday that she is 2 now and doesn't need boobies anymore?

Colby is still feeding 1-2x a day. No sign of stopping although I would be happy if he did I think.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on October 12, 2013, 22:22:07 pm
"We might need to stop having milk at bedtime soon Ev as mummies nipples aren't working very well anymore are they?" ( )....she took a long, thoughtful pause and said "......maybe you just have a big drink of water?" in a little hopeful voice!
LOL, yeah. L says "don't worry mummy, there'll be some more milk soon" :P ARGH!!

I'd be happy if L stopped too, he did have 4 days when he didn't want to BF but then went back to it with great gusto :-\ I think we'll have to stop soon, its driving me crazy :(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 14, 2013, 07:49:50 am
Well I think we may be starting to wean. This morning I told her my boobs are broken, there's no milk left, but I'll get her milk in a cup and give her a cuddle. She was pretty upset and whiny but then (mistake!) she saw the bottle in the 'baby things' drawer and started crying for a bottle. I figured at least it's not boob. She really wanted to lie cradled in my arms and drink the bottle so yes it is all about comfort for her. Not thrilled about her having a bottle each morning but I guess we could do that for a few days and then maybe get some kind of transition cup/'break' the teat of the bottle?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on October 14, 2013, 11:37:38 am
Maybe put some baby teats on there so the flow is really slow so she gets fed up?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 14, 2013, 12:54:26 pm
Hey good idea.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 16, 2013, 11:05:31 am
Welp after all my procrastination, I think we're probably finished. Three days without a BF now. Audrey's still having a half-hearted ask, but I think give it two more days and she'll stop mentioning it. She is extra cuddly, which is making me a bit sad :( and got a little bit upset this morning when we went mum and dads bed (we've been avoiding it and going straight downstairs) but she made do with cuddles and her lovey.

I feel teary and a little bit tender-boobed today, but I'm ready to be done.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on October 16, 2013, 12:10:51 pm
All normal. Similar hormonal slump to baby blues. Treat yourself to some secret chocolate and cuddle your little lady :-) Well done
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 18, 2013, 08:35:24 am
:( doubting myself if I've done the right thing? Audrey is completely attached to me - literally at the hip she won't let me put her down - and quick to tears. Upset in the night. She doesn't even want to go to playgroup "Stay home please mummy. Sit lap please mummy." Seems like a big hit of separation anxiety, caused by stopping BFing. She was only nursing 1-2 times a day...?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 18, 2013, 08:36:41 am
It's up to you if you want to BF again Anna but if you don't I'm sure the anxiety will pass soon enough. Hugs.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 18, 2013, 08:37:20 am
Yeh sure it will pass. Just feel bad for making her so anxious about me :(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 18, 2013, 08:42:07 am
Lots of mummy snuggles!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on October 18, 2013, 21:32:38 pm
Do you have a baby carrier Anna? Would that help her to feel snuggled up with you?

 We managed Wednesday without a feed-my mum put her down for her nap and my mil put her down at bedtime. But then yesterday it was like she realised what had happened and was in a complete state wanting me to feed her to sleep at nap time  :( :-\. Screaming and sobbing  :'(. ack.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 21, 2013, 20:12:31 pm
Three nights ago I asked Colby if he wanted an extra story or a boob and he chose the book but halfway through changed his mind and had a boob as well.
Last night he chose a book with daddy instead of a boob and didn't ask again although he did ask that I be the one to lay him in bed.
Today I made a big fuss in front of his auntie, nana and cousin about what a big boy he was that he chose a book with daddy instead of a boob.
Tonight he chose a book again even though he skipped his nap and was very OT.
I hope we can keep this up without a single tear. I only need to get through tomorrow and then I am out with some friends on Wednesday night and DH will be doing BT alone.
Of course DH would have to choose tonight to say he's not sure he wants any more kids, 2 days after weaning ::) feeling sad but I'm hoping I will be blessed enough to nurse another baby in the future.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on October 21, 2013, 21:04:16 pm
Of course DH would have to choose tonight to say he's not sure he wants any more kids, 2 days after weaning ::)

Er, yeah, good timing.  Have some chocolate and get through that hormonal slump :-*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 23, 2013, 15:58:01 pm
We are definitely done I think. No feeds since Sunday lunchtime and I'm off out in a minute so will miss. BT. He hasn't asked once. He has been a bit tearful generally and resisting sleep but only briefly. My breasts feel tender but are getting soft whereas yesterday they were quite hard. I have a cold so have been having flu powder drinks today. That should help dry me up too I think.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 23, 2013, 17:50:32 pm
((((hugs))) Ali. We're done here too. She still points at my boobs and says "That one?" in the morning but I poke her in the tummy and say "that one?" and she laughs and then we're done. Yesterday I was a bit engorged (8 days later??) and tearful but feeling fine now.

Now just got to get her off th ebottle, for goodness sake  ::) ::) ::) ;D
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on October 23, 2013, 19:57:23 pm
WELL DONE ANNA!  Well done for bf for such a long time....and well done for weaning her  ;) :P

Can you have a word with Ev  ::) 
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 23, 2013, 22:16:01 pm
Anna I wouldn't even worry about the bottle for now. The weaning is a huge change for her so she will need that extra comfort for now.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on October 24, 2013, 08:01:10 am
Anna I wouldn't even worry about the bottle for now. The weaning is a huge change for her so she will need that extra comfort for now.

Oh I know  :-\ but trouble is she gets sooooo upset when she gets to the end of the bottle. It's as if she experiences the upset of not being allowed to BF all over again. Really upset.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on October 24, 2013, 09:07:31 am
Oh, bless her :(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 24, 2013, 13:03:20 pm
Ah poor girl. I hope it passes soon.

Colby asked me is there was milk there today before his nap av then he got quite teary when I said there wasn't. It's the first time he has asked since we stopped 4 days ago. He got over it very quickly and had a tiny cup of cows milk and then went to bed perfectly without getting up once.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on November 05, 2013, 12:10:54 pm
So now we're doing 'don't offer, try to refuse' with morning bottle. Definitely best if we just go straight downstairs, then she is quite often distracted by playing or breakfast and forgets to ask. Once she's got the idea of a bottle in her head she is quite tenacious. This morning I genuinely couldn't find the bottle (she was in bad shape yest evening, overtired, had a seizure, too tired to eat tea, separation anxiety and I had to talk to clients on the phone, and was really upset and begging for a bottle), and Audrey searched high and low til she found it under the couch!

What she wants to do is cuddle up on my lap with the bottle, but then she is so so so upset when it's finished. Real tears and takes ages to recover. But if she sits and has a cuddle with Stan or DH, she is a bit upset but not bad. Or if she sits up on the kitchen counter so she's near me while I prepare people's breakfasts, that's OK too. So that's what we're trying to do. I feel a bit bad, pushing her away like that, but feel like it's the right thing to do to avoid the terrible upset over the finished bottle. Then once the bottle is done with we have cuddles.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on November 05, 2013, 20:14:38 pm
Oh bless her little heart Anna. That sounds tough. I think distraction and lots of cuddle sounds like a good idea.

Colby has asked every day if there is milk there but only half heartedly bless him.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on November 05, 2013, 22:33:48 pm
Oh Anna   :(. 

We're still going here. She just keeps asking all the time. And cries when I say no  :'(. Have really had enough.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: C&B&E on December 11, 2013, 21:38:42 pm
I weaned Evelyn 2 days ago  :'( :'( :'( (mixed in with a "thank goodness"  ;D) :'( :'( :'(

I can't believe we bf til 2.5 years - I would never have predicted that with all her tongue tie and reflux issues!!  I feel bitter sweet about it - I was so ready to stop, and I wasn't producing any milk anyhow, but I also feel so sad that it is the end of her 'baby' days  :'(

She has asked to feed every day since, and is still sad that I am saying no  :(.  How long is that likely to last? 
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on December 11, 2013, 21:43:31 pm
Hugs.  You did so well!  Get yourself some chocolate to counteract the hormone slump.  As for her stopping asking, I have no idea as DD self-weaned. :-\
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on December 11, 2013, 21:48:39 pm
Well done Claire. It was 2 or 3weeks before they stopped asking here I think. Have you developed a nice alternative routine that includes some lovely snuggling instead?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on December 11, 2013, 22:02:23 pm
((((hugs))))((((hugs))))((((hugs)))) I know that can't have been easy. Audrey asked for 2-3 weeks. Sometimes she still asks but we sort of joke about it and move on. At the beginning I was giving her a bottle but that was very upsetting for her too so we phased that out. When she asks for boob I say 'Oh shall I get you some milk in a cup?' and just sort of make out like she's asking for milk in general rather than BF, you know?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on December 11, 2013, 22:07:57 pm
Hugs Claire.

I think Colby asked for a few weeks half heartedly. He actually asked out if the blue 6 wks after we weaned a little while ago but that was just a one off.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on December 12, 2013, 05:52:35 am
L is still asking every couple of days, mainly if I've been away longer than he's used to and its been a few weeks now - we stopped because my nipples are really sore (still haven't been to the doc ::) ) and he still asks if they're better but he's coping pretty well in general.

Hugs xx Its tough to stop when you've gone this long and LO isn't entirely ok with it :-*
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: fionaerin on January 03, 2014, 19:10:07 pm
Hello,
I'm reading through the messages to use ideas and would like to ask your opinion for my case. My DD is 13 mo and would like to wean in these days. Fortunately, I am not nursing in the day as I am working, so she's not looking for either. I was giving a bottle with cow milk in BT and she was getting both of them which was great till she'd got a bad stomach virus so I had to stop the cow milk. Now she refuses bottle. And she started to wake up 2-3 times at night and back to sleep with nursing only. What do you suggest, to drop BT first or night wakings (I guess I have to do PU/PD)? I am so scared to break her heart so want to make t smoothly.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 03, 2014, 19:57:30 pm
I'd definitely stop NW first and then BT too if you want to. You can do PUPD (although it is really just pd at this age) or just settle her any way you can to start with. Do you have someone who could perhaps help settle her at night so she isn't expecting milk? E.g. Partner, mum etc.?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: fionaerin on January 03, 2014, 23:08:04 pm
Thanks Ali! My husband tried to settle her before but she doesn't allow him and just cries for me. Then I will try to settle her by PD as you suggested. Do you think when I start to stop on NW, then should I do for all NW? I just don't want to confuse her.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 03, 2014, 23:53:07 pm
Yes I would do it for all nws.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: fionaerin on January 05, 2014, 19:23:57 pm
Last night it went well actually, she woke up for one time only and in the beginning she wanted breast feeding and cried but then she didn't ask it anymore. Going back to sleep was a bit difficult but we did it :) Then she slept till morning 07.15 am which was great. Let's see tonight.
I have another question, she is not drinking cow's milk in the bottle or sippy cup or in a normal cup. I guess she doesn't like it. As we are in weaning process, she has to drink some and I don't know how to do it. Do you have any experience to make the milk attractive for lo?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 05, 2014, 21:37:04 pm
If she doesn't like milk you can get dairy in her via cheese, yogurt, milk on cereal, milky puddings and sauces. Or if you are desperate for her to drink milk I know some people put a little chocolate powder or vanilla essence in and then reduce it back to straight milk as they get used to drinking it.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on January 21, 2014, 00:49:53 am
Vi will be a year old and saturday and I am really amazed I made it this long bf'ing.  I am hoping to start the weaning process with her but know it will take time and patience because of her personality.  She just loves it so much and would BF all day if I let her.  My current issue is I went back to work three weeks ago and I am trying to do three bf'ing sessions - am, after work, and BT.  Problem is - the after work bf'ing has turned into two hours of back and forth until dinner time.  She is constantly asking.  She does the kiss on the neck area and insistent babbling and I know that's what she wants - do I pretend I don't know and distract her with something else or give in for a little longer until the SA gets better?  Thanks ladies for your input.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on January 21, 2014, 08:25:31 am
If you've just gone back to work and hence she is suddenly without you all day I would probably be tempted to delay weaning until she adjusts to the new set up and feels more secure again. I probably would limit the constant BFing before dinner though. Maybe just feed once when you get home and then tell her she can have more at BT then distract her.

Is it just the two of you home then or can your DH distract her perhaps? When you're ready it might help if DH could get her up in the mornings and give her breakfast so she doesn't ask for the morning feed.

Does she drink cows milk from a cup at all?

Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on January 25, 2014, 15:11:06 pm
I've tried different kinds of milk and she really doesn't like any.  I'm debating between adding a touch of chocolate or mixing with bm - which is limited since I am going to stop pumping at work soon.

It's just me for about 2 hrs until DH comes home.  It'll be easy to wean the morning feed since I leave for work so early but that's when I am usually the fullest and most uncomfortable so I'm not sure when I will do that one.  I'll try distracting her but now she's come down with a terrible cold so I will probably delay a little while since she isn't eating and is only bf'ing.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Baby_A_Mama on March 24, 2014, 17:26:52 pm
Hi Moms, looking for any support/advice!

My DD is 9.5months. I am likely returning to work part time when she turns 11months so I am looking to wean her off daytime breastfeeds (2) onto a bottle of formula for each feed.  She has an unconfirmed milk protein allergy so I cannot go to cows milk yet.  She used to take a bottle like a champion whenever we needed or felt like letting daddy or visitors have a go with feeding, up until 2 months ago it was always expressed milk but as my stored up supply ran out we started introducing formula. It's hypoallergenic so it took quite a few days of mixing the two but we got to a point that she would take it happily. 4 days ago I gave her a bottle of formula after her pm nap, no problems. I decided then, that I would start doing this daily to start eliminating that breastfeed and once my boobs adjusted I would do feed after the a.m. nap, thinking we have a big luxury of time at this point.  The next day, she outright refused the bottle and has ever since. Over the weekend I tried getting dad to give her the bottle while I was out in the garden, not a chance!!  It was like she heard my thoughts and is revolting against me! She remains super cranky and crying lots until she gets the breast.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be going on? How to go back to good bottle taking?  I have tried sippy cups to because she drinks out of that during the day.  She loves Almond milk so I have tried blending the formula with that in her sippy cup. She will take a tiny bit but not very interested.  I would like to tackle this now so I have plenty of time to get both my boobs and her adjusted to the bottle before going back to work.  I am looking to continue with the morning wake up and before bedtime breastfeeds for awhile as I'm not 100% ready to give it up. She is showing signs of weaning herself off the bedtime one anyways, sometimes she doesn't really take any, but the morning we both seem to really enjoy.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on March 25, 2014, 19:52:03 pm
I think that if it was me I'd be persisting with the cup, whether that's a sippy cup, a straw cup or an open cup.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on April 08, 2014, 20:02:56 pm
Hi everyone, I wonder if anyone can help. I am BFing my twin girls, they have always been total bottle refusers. I am new to BW so they feed in quite a non-EASY way - before their first nap, after their first nap, after their second nap and before bed. And loads overnight, but that's another story.

I'm going back to work in 6 weeks but only 3 days a week. They won't take a bottle, or formula from a cup although they drink water from it really well. To be honest, the BF are mostly my idea when they are a bit grumpy or if I want them to stay awake longer, if I wasn't there I think they could easily be distracted with water and a banana or something. Or they will drink cows milk. Is it feasible to just carry on as we are when I'm there but get nursery to give cows milk on the other days? I've tried all formulas and they hate them all the same! I can't express milk - just can't, don't know why. But I love our feeding and wanted to carry on for a bit longer. Or should I start cutting out the daytime feeds now so it's not a shock - maybe they are more interested than I think!

Hope that makes sense!! And thanks in advance. My health visitor was profoundly unhelpful, she seems to think BFing twins is a bit unnatural to start with!!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MasynSpencerElliotte on April 08, 2014, 20:28:01 pm
Unnatural? Wth? Lol and here I thought bf was the most natural thing.

How old are your lo's? Here cow's milk as a drink is not recommended until over one year, but if that is then case and they like it I would just go with that on daycare days and carry on bf when you are home if that suits you all best. I can't pump either but thankfully DD3 likes formula so we are ever so slowly weaning over to that.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on April 09, 2014, 01:01:12 am
Brilliant, thanks. I'm in the uk but my hv is....old fashioned is maybe the kindest way to put it. I have found bf brilliant (although it was tough as nails for the first few months) as bottle feeding twins makes a lot of washing up and I am lazy!

The girls are 8.5 months, will be 10 months when I go back. Perhaps I should persevere with the formula....I think maybe if I tried giving it at a non feed time just as a drink they might be less annoyed by it? Also I gave the cows milk cold, would it be better to give the formula cold as well?

In my heart I think I'm worried they'll wean themselves...I'm not ready yet....
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on April 09, 2014, 01:54:16 am
When I went back to work recently my dd did well with a bf before work, when I got home, and at bedtime and my milk supply accommodated the new schedule.  Agree with pp to just fill them up with food and a little cows milk (as long as they tolerate it well) to tide them over until they can bf. 

Enjoy your last few weeks with them!!!  It'll work out!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on April 09, 2014, 08:14:25 am
Cows milk isn't recommended as a drink in the uk until after 1yo either.  It doesn't have the nutrients they need like breast milk or formula do. I would persevere with offering formula in a cup,  cold if they seem to like that.  Maybe offer it instead of water at meal times.

If you do need to use cows milk at all then I would discuss it with your GP first. By The time they are 10 months old s/he might feel that 3 BFs is enough and they can do without any milk during your 3 working days.

I'd actually consider complaining about your HV for making you feel that way.  Sounds like she needs more training.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on April 09, 2014, 13:17:03 pm
I tried in a cup at mealtimes, and from the looks on their faces you'd have thought I'd put lemon juice in the cups! Then there was a meltdown. Might try giving an afternoon snack of biscuit and some formula, then, and see if that works. I'm assuming the formulas are all the same? The only one I think we haven't tried is HIPP.....

The hv in fairness hadn't said anything overt, just been quite keen on formula at any opportunity. I've heard the same from other BFing twin mums - there's a lot of scepticism that it's possible, even by midwives etc!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Regina Phalange on April 15, 2014, 04:21:31 am
Hey Weaning Moms! (Weaners?? Lol, sorry.)

Just thought I'd chime in here. We are coming up to my son's first birthday, and it looks like we are in the process of weaning. I've had supply issues in the past, due to the fact that Zach very rarely asks to nurse, so we just fell into a routine of normally nursing whenever he woke and at bedtime. I guess because he usually only nursed around the same times every day, my supply took a hit much sooner than I wanted to wean. So I started nursing more frequently to get it back up and ended up taking Domperidone as well because he started biting any time it wasn't coming fast enough. Anyway, long story short, we eventually settled back into a bit of a routine where I nursed in the morning, before each nap, and at bedtime. I started to notice a slight decrease again, and last week I finished the Domperidone. I've noticed a huge decrease in supply since then. But since we're so close to a year, I decided to not fight it this time, and take advantage of the decreasing supply and see where this leads us. Yesterday and today I've introduced a little cow's milk, and he seems to like it so far. I've also added a solid snack before nursing for his PM nap, and I'm making sure there's always a sippy of water available so that he's getting enough liquids. So far things are going smoothly, and he doesn't seem to be bothered at all. Hopefully it continues this way.

I have mixed feelings about weaning, which I'm sure is quite common. I am looking forward to the added freedom, as well as having my body back. But I will miss our quiet moments and the closeness we shared. But, new experiences bring new things to love, so I'm excited for what the future will bring!

I don't have any questions or concerns for you lovely ladies at this point, but just wanted to come here and commiserate with others trying to figure out this whole weaning thing. :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on April 15, 2014, 07:53:07 am
Hugs Regina. Yes it is a bitter sweet moment for sure. Huge congrats on making it to a year in the face of such adversity.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on April 16, 2014, 19:02:13 pm
Is it time for us?

I am back on leave from work and home with Vi again.  Since being back (for 2 weeks) she has been begging and whining to breast feed I feel like every hour!  When I was working for the 3 months she could eat really well at daycare and drink coconut/almond milk.  Now she barely eats.

She is making me crazy!  Even when I know she has gotten all the milk she will still sit there with my nipple in her mouth.  This morning she sucked for an hour!  I don't know what the fine line between setting rules and being sensitive to her needs are now.  She is 15 months old atm.  I always offer her water/milk in a cup/ food before giving her breast.  She will sometimes eat or drink but then usually throws it on the ground or puts the food down my shirt.  I really didn't want to stop yet but I just have no control over it and it's really getting to me - so any suggestions are welcome!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on April 16, 2014, 22:04:26 pm
I would probably tell her that boobies are for certain times like wu, nap time and bt. Outside of those hours if she is hungry or thirsty she can ask for food or drink.  If she wants comfort she can ask for a cuddle.  Then if she asks for a BF between those times I would say "Yes,  when it's sleepy time (or whenever you decide to set BFs). it's not boobie time now. Would you like a banana or a hug? "

Sounds like she had been missing you and is making the most of having you around all the time again.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Violet's mom on April 17, 2014, 00:25:27 am
Thanks Ali.  You don't think she "needs" it then?  Strictly comfort?  She will cry a lot - how do you deal with that?

Thanks again...
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on April 17, 2014, 21:00:29 pm
If you are happy to feed her that much then I think it is fine to do it but if you can't go on like that anymore then that is probably how I would approach it. I would probably just hug and distract if she cried.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Tamlyn on May 01, 2014, 00:09:25 am
Began weaning my LO about 3 weeks ago. He is now almost 13 months old. He was already used to having 1 bottle of pumped milk a day, and I BF the other 3 times. I gradually increased bottle feedings and decreased BF down to only at BT, and this week began BF only a few minutes and then giving majority of milk in a bottle at BT feeding. He seemed fine with it all initially, but has become a little fussy and clingy...is much less interested in food and is eating less and not wanting bottles at all. I can usually get him to take 4 oz upon WU, and then about 5 oz for either the late AM or early PM feeding. He refuses one or the other of these bottles. He has also refused a bottle at BT the last 2 nights. He is a little guy (5th percentile), so I'm worried he's not getting enough.  Even though there is little in the boob at this point, he cries to nurse. I feel awful and am not sure what to do? Any suggestions?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 01, 2014, 19:36:36 pm
Sounds like he is not quite ready to give up nursing  :-\ Are you decided that you want/need to wean now or is it an option to carry on for a bit? Sorry, not trying to pressure you into keeping going if you want to stop and obviously I don't know your reasons for weaning now. Just wondering if it might be an option to consider feeding a bit longer.

What are you hoping to wean to? Normally LOs over 1yo would wean on to cows milk when they stop BFing but I wonder if your GP might suggest moving to formula if you have concerns about growth issues. Most 1yos can get what they need from solids as long as they are eating a balanced diet so you don't need to necessarily worry about him consuming milk if it isn't breast milk. Other dairy like cheese, yogurt and milk on cereals etc. count as well.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on May 05, 2014, 19:42:58 pm
Hi, I posted before about my rotten twins. They are 9.5 months and I need to wean in the daytime as I am going back to work. I have found a formula they will take and interestingly they have suddenly decided they will take a bottle as long as milk is ice cold. Can I just check what I am doing is sensible?

Pre wean - BF at 5 (gah!!), breakfast 6, BF 8, BF 10:30 (I know....), lunch 12, BF 2, Bf 4, supper 5, bf 7 and usually about 10 and 3

Now - breakfast 6, BF 8, raisins and milk when wake from nap (10 ish), lunch 12, bf 12:30 (for my comfort, they are full of lunch), raisins and milk at 3, supper 5, BF 7, BF 2am

I want to drop the 12:30 feed as then I can manage the rest - hoping to get to  3 BF and 2 FF a day. They don't take much formula at the moment - maybe 2oz - but it's new to them so I guess they will.

2 questions - how much formula do they need if they have 3 BF?
What do I do about being uncomfy at midday? I loathe the pump and can't pump at work anyway, but I still need enough milk for twins for the rest of the time ESP if they won't take much formula.

Thanks. Sorry, this is a bit garbled!!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 06, 2014, 11:52:20 am
You could just express a little for comfort and eventually your body will just stop making milk at that lunchtime feed.

If they are having 3 BFs a day then you may find they get enough from that so I'd maybe just try a few ounces at each bottle feed. If they finish it then you can add another ounce.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on May 06, 2014, 12:55:54 pm
Brilliant, thanks! If I needed to get my supply up again for any reason, would I be able to? Recently they had a vomiting bug and would only BF for 3 days, no formula or solids. Bit I don't know how much that was a comfort thing because they were poorly.

We are doing BLW and so their food intake is a bit variable, which is why I was keen they should still get some milk in the day, but 2 small bottles works well for us!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 06, 2014, 13:04:55 pm
It does get harder to get supply back up the older your LOs get but feeding them for extra feeds should be possible yes.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: magdooshka001 on May 07, 2014, 05:15:12 am
Hiya, I wonder if you could offer some advice. My son is nearly 13 months old and I would like to start weaning. He's been exclusively breasted since birth (i.e. no pumping/no bottle). At this stage, he usually gets BF 4 times in 24H (at night or when he wakes up, before lunchtime nap and before bedtime). He usually falls asleep during the feed. Although, when he does wake up as I put him down he normally cries a bit, I just leave the room and he settles on his own within minutes. So, my questions are:
Should I stop feeding during the day altogether? Or eliminate one feed at a time e.g. feeding before nap(s) during the day and then move onto the feed at bedtime ?
Shall I use the bottle or a sippy cup? Formula or cows milk? When would you normally offer these drinks (with or after the meals) and how much  in ml? Do i need to boil/warm up the cows milk beforehand or add cereals etc.? Would you alter the bedtime routine in any way to help the weaning process?
Thank you!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 07, 2014, 07:27:04 am
Hi, have a look at our weaning FAQ for an outline of the various approaches and see which you think would suit you. Weaning

Because your LO is over 12mo you don't need to use formula. He can get all he needs nutritionally from solid food now. You could give cows milk if you like to help with fat and calcium requirements but other dairy such as cheese and yogurt also counts towards this, as does milk on cereal. The equivalent of about 300ml (10oz) will be sufficient and no more than about 600ml (20oz ).

The recommendation is to have stopped using a bottle by 12mo so I definitely wouldn't start one now. I'd just offer a cup, ideally open or free-flow (no valve so he doesn't have to suck) sippy cup.

It's really up to you when you offer the milk. It is a drink now rather than a meal/food. I think many people offer milk on cereal (in a bowl with a spoon) in the morning, a small cup at some point throughout the day and another before bed. I wouldn't offer it with a meal if you think it will fill him up and stop him eating so much solid food.

I would just offer the milk cold out of the fridge. No you don't need to add cereals.

You may find it help to bring the feed out of the bedroom (if you currently feed in there) and before the bath/pyjamas/stories or whatever you do as your wind down routine.

You probably need to help your LO settle to sleep without the feed before taking all the feeds away. Feel free to post on the toddler sleep board if you need help with this.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on May 18, 2014, 13:57:46 pm
Hi everyone. I posted before about my twins. Thy are now 10 months, I am going back to work in 2 weeks and we are in a nice routine of BF 6am, 7pm and one night feed. It is going really well, they have about 4oz of formula at 1pm and drink a tiny bit out of their sippy cups at 10am.

The thing is that I am starting to think about stopping altogether. We all used to love it so much when I demand fed but now the kids are distracted and not v interested - it's become a way to settle them at bedtime and in the night rather than anything else. And I've always tandem fed as they go crazy otherwise.....and it's just a big fight trying to stop them biting me, pulling each other's hair, etc. I was thinking if trying to drop down to one feed by 11 months and stop altogether at a year. Will have to go really slowly as I am still leaking like mad all hours of the day even though it's been 3 weeks I think since the last daytime feed. Which feed goes first - morning or bedtime? And what happens at bedtime without a BF? Do I give a bottle? A drink of water? If a bottle - how old do they have to be before I stop it altogether?

I feel completely lost with this. There is loads of info about starting to BF and none about stopping. It doesn't help that I feel guilty about stopping at all. Is 12 months a good time?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 18, 2014, 20:42:45 pm
We have a FAQ on weaning which covers the various methods. Have a look and see which you think might suit you. Weaning

The good thing about weaning at 12mo is you won't need to replace breastfeeds with formula. You can either give cows milk or a solid snack. If you wean now at 10mo though then really you should give formula instead as milk is the main nutrition until 1yo.

Congratulations on BFing twins for 10 months that is a great achievement  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on May 20, 2014, 04:11:05 am
Thank you!! I got an enormous amount of support from TAMBA in doing so and I'm really pleased I persevered - I've saved a fortune quite apart from anything else!!!

Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on June 04, 2014, 19:59:10 pm
Ali, I just wanted to say thank you - I am back at work, the twins are doing brilliantly with the childminder, they are feeding better than ever as I think they have missed me, and as a result are sleeping brilliantly (for them!!).  No embarrassing leakage at work either!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 04, 2014, 20:21:27 pm
Great news. So glad everything is going well for you all.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on July 02, 2014, 08:55:50 am
Oh Ali.....I have just dropped the morning feed too and am planning on stopping altogether in the next few weeks. The kids aren't really that keen any more, they are nearly one, and I am going to have to start staying away sometimes with work so I want to stop the feeds while I am still there rather than the first time they go to sleep without a feed be the same night they go to sleep without me. But I am just so, so sad about it. I know it's the right thing for them, I can restart my usual medication and I don't think they will care that much, but it's breaking my heart. What do I do??
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 02, 2014, 19:45:46 pm
Big hugs. I think it is very upsetting whenever your stop. It is very emotional and all the hormonal changes that go along with weaning don't help of course.
I think only you can decide if you are doing the right thing or not and if you are happy that you are then I'd just press ahead and be kind to yourself. Let yourself grieve the loss of that special time and stage if your relationship and enjoy the next stages yet to come.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: yujai on July 07, 2014, 17:49:41 pm
Hello all, I am joining the weaning force!

My 15 months old is now down to 2 nursing (first thing wake up in the morning and before going to bed) with 3 cow milk/formula in straw cup a day.  Weaning the afternoon feeds was easy and quick.  I randomly tried skipping the morning feed and gave him his straw cup instead, but he would be fussy and sign for milk. I don't know he drinks much from nursing, but he is the type who would like to hang on to the boob.  Sometimes I have to ask him if he is enough or force him to detach.

Our current morning routine:
DH takes him from his crib to our room and I nurse him on our bed.

Bedtime routine:
Quiet time, bath, story, nursing, then DH wraps him up and put him to bed.

Should I start with the morning feed or before bed feed?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 08, 2014, 12:10:31 pm
It's really up to you which we'd you wean first. I reckon the morning one might be quite easy if your DH took him down to have breakfast instead of bringing him to you to nurse.

Maybe try bringing the BT nursing session to before the bath before you wean it totally.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on July 08, 2014, 19:30:02 pm
Agree with Ali.  I always dropped the morning feeds first.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: georgeo on July 09, 2014, 03:52:14 am
Hi ladies,

Feel free to suggest I start a new thread . This just looked like a good place to ask.

Dd is 2 1/2. We're down to just one feed first thing in the morning and have been for a few months now. I had hoped she would drop the last one herself but it's not looking like that is going to happen anytime soon. A few months ago she didn't ask for two mornings, then my sister came to visit and she got very clingy, although she had a lovely time, and started asking for it again.

I would like to stop now.  Any suggestions? It is the first thing she asks for every morning.

Thanks ladies. I'm nervous!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 09, 2014, 07:15:03 am
At that age they understand a lot. I weaned after 2 and it really helped to talk about how he was a big boy now and instead of Bob milk he could have Any other kind of milk, warm, cold, hot choc or milk shake (both v weak) etc and I let him choose which. We talked about how the milk runs out once he is big enough and strong enough to not need it.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 09, 2014, 07:20:21 am
I weaned both by sat 26mo. Distraction was very useful. DH would get them up and take them downstairs for breakfast and I would follow 10 mins later and just get on with our day. After 4 days I think Colby asked again and I just said there was no milk there anymore and that he didn't have boobies anymore he had yummy breakfast with daddy etc.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on July 09, 2014, 11:35:00 am
Me again - I am so clueless! We are now down to just one feed at bedtime and a bottle of milk in the middle of the day. I was thinking of swapping the bedtime feed for a bottle too....but my HV tells me they should stop having bottles by 1 (which is in about 2 weeks). We have supper at 5 then no breakfast til 6 (and they are STARVING for it even with the BT feed) so I'd like to give them milk at bedtime. Do I give it in a cup? At the moment we go upstairs at 6 and have bath, Massage, BF, teeth brush (in bedroom), story and bed. I'm worried that 2 sippy cups of milk will be really, really messy. And all the bathing, massaging, teeth etc takes that full hour because there are 2 of them and they are wriggly.

I wondered about a non-spill cup? At the moment they have one that looks like a grownups travel mug for water if we are out and about only and otherwise the free flow ones. Or maybe one with a spout? What would be best?! And why can't they just have a bottle?!?!

Thanks again!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 09, 2014, 16:28:58 pm
Many babies do have a bottle after 1yo. The idea behind getting rid if the bottle is that sucking is bad for teeth so a free flow sippy or open cup is better. A valved or straw cup that requires them to suck is no better than a bottle so I wouldn't bother with any of those. Formula or cows milk is much worse than breast milk for teeth plus feeding from the breast delivers the milk to the back of the mouth mostly bypassing teeth but if you are brushing their teeth straight after then I'd probably be tempted to just give them a bottle for now. Obviously you would then have to wean it later anyway so it depends on how you feel about that. I also wonder whether they would even take a sufficient quantity of milk from a cup? I know many babies wouldn't unless they have been having a cup of milk for a while.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on July 09, 2014, 18:19:50 pm
Oh, ok, that makes sense! So maybe I will swap bf to bottle  :'( then when they are used to that swap lunchtime bottle for free flow cup (hard floors downstairs so mess doesn't matter!) then swap the last bottle for a cup. I really like the bottle, it's cuddly!

Thanks again Ali!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 09, 2014, 19:38:46 pm
I think that is probably what I would do tbh :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: yujai on July 22, 2014, 17:10:11 pm
I think I can now declare I am done with breastfeeding! (well, for a few months until #2 is born :) )

It was surprisingly easy. Our 15 months old now takes a straw cup with either cow milk or formula instead of boobs. It was pretty much an instant switch. He only wants boobs on the first night even after he had the straw cup (next day I just have DH handles him, kiss goodnight while he was drinking from straw cup and left the room)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 22, 2014, 17:54:22 pm
Sounds great :)
And well done on BFing for 15mo. I hope your BFing relationship with the next is as enjoyable and fruitful :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Fiver on July 22, 2014, 21:14:07 pm
Well done :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: GreenerRock on November 30, 2014, 04:27:13 am
Hi moms,

I'm currently in the process of trying to wean my 2.5 yr old DD as nursing has started to become painful (she has big teeth!).  The issue is she does not want to give it up!  She asks to nurse multiple times throughout the day and night (she is up 1-2 times during the night).  She recently started attending daycare and this has helped cut down on the daytime nursing and we're trying to stop the night time nursing by having DH go to her when she wakes up.  But she still asks whenever she sees me during the day and throws a tantrum if I refuse.  She's not talking much yet so I'm not able to verbally make her understand why she can't nurse.  It's gotten to the point where I run and hide from her as soon as I can tell she wants to nurse.  Are there any strategies that's worked for you?  I'm at my wits end!  Thanks!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on November 30, 2014, 07:02:58 am
I told L it was hurting me. I was in tears with the pain eventually and he soon stopped because he loved my boobies and didn't want to hurt them... That's what he said anyway.
You may find even though she doesn't talk much, she can understand a lot more than she can say so she may get it if you explain that it hurts
Hugs xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: anna* on November 30, 2014, 10:50:31 am
Audrey was a little younger but she was pretty heartbroken. I just wore tops that it wasn't easy for her to lift/open, and kept telling her that she'd drunk all the milk, the milk was finished now, but I could cuddle her while she had her milk from a zippy. She was very upset for a few days, and it wasn't easy at all, but we did get through it. Agree with Bec though, even though she's not talking she likely does understand much more, especially concepts like 'finished' 'all done'. She's 2.5 so yes, tantrums when she doesn't get her way are just inevitable, with nursing as with anything else. If you stay firm in your decision though, she will come out the other side.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on November 30, 2014, 15:51:23 pm
I also found setting out times when nursing was ok helped with the demands. So if he asked in the day I would just say "yes you can have some at BT. If you're hungry now you can have a yogurt or a banana..."
If you are truly done then stopping completely will mean she will soon stop asking.

I agree with others unless you know otherwise I expect she can understand a lot more than she can say. I'm sure mine understood when we weaned night feeds at 12 and 15mo when I said the boobs were sleeping and they needed to sleep too.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: GreenerRock on December 05, 2014, 22:12:00 pm
Thanks ladies.  The good news is having her dad go to her at night has considerably cut back on her night wakings and during the day we're down to one nursing at BT.  I've tried to verbally explain that the milk is finished but she doesn't seem to care, she just wants to keep nursing.  I'm hoping now that we're down to one session a day, I can slowly start cutting back.  Thank you so much for your support!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: shanyn on December 28, 2014, 11:10:35 am
Hello all,

I'm after some advice on weaning and 8 month old who is refusing everything but the breast. We have tried numerous teats and bottles, sippy cups and cups and he won't have take any of them. I am supposed to go back to work in a couple of weeks time and he will be in daycare fulltime. I would like to BF him morning and night but very worried as he won't take a bottle, sippy cup with either breastmilk, formula or water. He has also been refusing solids for 2 mths since starting on them at 6 mths old.

I have seen a speech pathologist, child health nurse, my GP and spoken to feeding clinics and they all say to try positive association with the cup which I have been doing. I'm at my wits end and just don't know what to do next. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on July 23, 2015, 16:03:06 pm
Aw thats rough:/
Have you tried spooning? I know its extreme, but... No idea how to even create a possitive association with a sippy:/
I hear ya, Im weaning my 6 month old, thought it will be no problem, but he forgot or refuses a bottle. I started weaning with DF, but he is so confused. Need to try something else:/
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 26, 2015, 19:52:15 pm
BF babies tend to do well at this age with a straw. Have you tried that?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: AussieMum2Three on September 15, 2015, 04:38:26 am
Hi ladies,

I'm looking for some advice on weaning my 13 mo DD2.  I've fed my previous two kids to around this age and have always dropped one feed at a time and then finally dropped the bedtime feed and all has been fine.  However, my previous two kids have STTN at 7 and 5 mths respectively and very seldom had NFs from then on.  However, DD2 is still not sleeping through and still wants a NF every night.  She's a big kid, eats well, drinks cows milk from a bottle and I know she doesn't need to the nutrition.  I'm working through NW and EW at the moment and trying to eliminate the variables, so I want to lose the NF asap.  I'm ready to wean her altogether soonish, but would like to keep the bedtime feed for the moment.  Do you think I'll be able to go cold turkey on the NF and keep the bedtime feed?  DH works shifts and isn't home every night and when he is home, he's often recovering from night shift, so sending him in when she wakes, instead of me isn't ideal.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 15, 2015, 20:04:54 pm
Yes you can do that. I would explain to her in advance that mummy's boobs are sleeping at night so there will be no more night feeds and then just resettle her without feeding if she wakes. She will protest and cry as she won't like the change but if you attend to her and soothe her in a different way she should soon stop waking for it.

Is she an independent sleeper for her nap(s) and BT?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: AussieMum2Three on September 16, 2015, 09:09:34 am
I like that - mummy's boobs are sleeping!! 😂 We'll see how that goes down, but im sure there's going to be some protest for a few nights.

Yes, she is an independent sleeper, however I'm trying to sort out some NWs and EWs and eliminating the NF is one of the steps in getting her to STTN. She goes to sleep for naps and bedtime with a dummy and teddy, but in her cot alone, without crying. She is a textbook (possibly angel?) but can be very determined and stubborn. She has been having frequent/long NWs and as she's third child, we've probably picked her up and patted her to sleep in our arms and/or brought her into our bed (early in the morning, after rough nights of NWs) just to get some sleep. So there's some AP to deal with too, but getting rid of the NF is first thing to deal with. When we weaned dummies from the other kids, it only took a couple of nights, however they were lots younger (5 and 7 mths). I expect we're in for a few more rough nights given she's older?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 16, 2015, 20:08:10 pm
If she can replug the dummy herself then I wouldn't worry about weaning  it. If she calls you to replug I would work on getting her to find it and replug without calling you. Also, is she still on 2 naps? I'm windering if she is UT perhaps?

Since she is an independent sleeper normally I would probably use walk in walk out. With my DS1 we weaned night feeds (and kept daytime feeds) at 12mo by waiting until he stood up and then going in and laying him back down before leaving again. We would use our voices to soothe him and maybe a quick (10 second) belly rub if he seemed to be getting too upset. That worked well.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on September 28, 2015, 18:49:57 pm
Hi Ladies,
I figured this thread was the right one to get all of my anxiety out of the system. My DS is 8 months now, we started weaning when he was 6,5 months. We decided with my DH to try for another baby, and I needed to restart my cycle.We are in such a good place right now, my job allows me to be away, because my DH took most of my responsibilities. We run a business together. He is doing such a great job at it btw. Really proud of him, as dad and partner.

So one feeding at a time, every week or two. Up until yesterday, I BF my baby once at night. We give him Hipp BIO formula which my ped said in his opinion is best. I did some research and figured if there is a chance it hass less chemicals I will take it. I change it sometimes with Combiotic version of it, it has lactis bacteria just like BM to support his intestines. All of this to give my baby second best food and make me more calm about risks and cons of FF.

He started teething yesterday, we have 1 tooth out. Tonight was rough, but I know it could be much worse. He didn't eat much during the day, so I knew he might be hungry. I put him close to me and as soon as he latched we both realised there is not much milk in. He bit me so hard:( first time ever, so I didn't know how it's like. My DH made 5 oz of formula right away. I try not to give him too much, because he might start to replace day feedings. We've gone that road once before.

I worked really hard to drive my milk supply up when he was 2 months. We didn't have an easy start. Cracked nipples, blood, feeding through silicone things for 1,5 months (dont know how you call them), clogged milk canal with a size of a wallnut for more than 2 weeks, 2 week break when I got strong allergy on God knows what. We went through all of that.

So here I am, ending BF because as soon as we started weaning my milk supply went downhill. Still not pregnant, didn't get a period yet. I used to know when I was ovulating so I pretty much know I haven't yet. My progesterone level is really low. My DH got tested and he has to work on his testosterone levels as well, loose some weight. We've been that road before, because we waited 2 years for our baby boy.

I am mourning BF, my time with DS, the idea of him being dependent of me, needing me to keep him healthy. I know trying for second baby might take some time again, so I'm second guessing weaning. I'm considering restarting BF if its possible, but I know it was a necessary decision on the other hand. I feel like a bad mother, like I could do more for my baby, BF him for at least a year. I am really sad. All these feelings just when he is teething are not helping.

I think I would like to know, if my feelings are normal. If someone went through similar issues.
Thank you for a place like this, where I could write all this down and send in the space:)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on September 28, 2015, 20:38:56 pm
I don't  know if it's normal or bot, but I felt the same. I think you have described it beautifully, the worry that they won't need you in the same way any more. But actually, even once i stopped, I realised they still needed me as much as ever!! Not for milk any more, but for love and cuddles. It hasn't affected our relationship at all.

BF can be an amazing and wonderful experience for you and your baby, and it sounds like you have had a wonderful time with it, but you have to think about whether it is still right for your family. I don't know if you have to stop completely to get pregnant again, I'm sure someone will tell you. But you have done a fantastic thing by feeding him for so long, especially with a difficult start. And whether or not you decide to stop, he will still adore you because you are his precious, perfect mamma.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 30, 2015, 22:08:35 pm
It is hard whatever age they are when you wean. The hormones don't help either ::)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on October 01, 2015, 18:17:00 pm
Do you think when you wean the hormones come to play that intensely?
Now that I read my post I think they do haha
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on October 01, 2015, 18:26:59 pm
Definitely! The twins weaned themselves at 13 months and I cried and cried!! I don't know anyone who wasn't sad when they stopped even if they hated it!!

Be kind to yourself xxxxx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on October 01, 2015, 20:39:49 pm
Yes, definitely. Many women experience something similar to the baby blues we experience a few days after birth. There is some info here http://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/depression-and-weaning/
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on October 01, 2015, 20:57:42 pm
I had no idea!!! Thank you girls:)
Every night I am denying the fact that I no longer have good amount of milk and give him boobies instead of bottle. So its both breasts and 5oz formula. But he seams to like the idea. But its time to teach him out of NF either way...

Thank you, I really appreciate your help and support
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Elisanah on December 05, 2015, 07:00:41 am
Hi, I'd love your opinions on some advice I was given by a health visitor. I asked about starting to wean my nearly 10 month old as I've been aiming to stop breastfeeding around one year. She recommended just skipping formula and waiting until my lo turns 1 to go straight to cow's milk. In the meantime she said to cut out the midafternoon feed and replace with a snack.

Lo currently breastfeeds 3 x a day (morning, afternoon and bedtime) and often still twice at night. I'm just not sure about replacing the afternoon feed with a snack as my understanding is that milk is still the most important source of nutrition at this stage? Whilst I'm thinking about weaning it's not urgent so I'm happy to continue breastfeeding in the afternoon if that's still the best thing. I was thinking about replacing that feed with formula just to make weaning a really gradual process for lo.

What are your thoughts? Is there still benefit in using formula instead of just a snack in the afternoon? Would two feeds really be enough for her milk intake? Or should I just keep breastfeeding at this stage?

Thanks for any help. It was an infuriating session with the health visitor where I just felt talked at so I'm trying to work out what was good advice and what to just ignore!  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on December 05, 2015, 10:59:29 am
Personally I would cut out the two night feeds before dropping any more daytime feeds. I assume you plan to cut those soon anyway if you are weaning. I would keep the three feeds a day until 12mo and then replace the midday feed with a snack. Formula is more nutritious than a snack but by 12mo she should be able to get sufficient nutrition from solid foods as long as she is eating a balanced diet. Does she eat solids well?

Two months is a long time at this age in terms of development so waiting that extra two months will mean she is more ready to cut out the breast milk. I personally wouldn't introduce formula only to cut it in a couple of months but if you relly want to stop that BF now then I would offer formula in a cup, not a bottle as it is recommended to stop using bottles by 12mo.

If you do choose to keep the night feeds for now then you would be fine to cut the midday BF and offer a snack as she would still be having 4 BFs in 24hrs which would give her sufficient breast milk. As I said though, I'd be looking to shift those calories to daytime feeds first.

I suspect your HV doesn't want you to introduce a bottle of formula and then not manage to wean it by 1yo. Bottles and formula are bad for teeth and if babies are still drinking formula after 1yo they *may* not eat sufficient solid food as formula is very filling. And obviously solids is the direction you want to be moving in very soon.

Of course, I don't know your reasons for wanting to wean at 1 yo but I just wanted to make sure you knew that the WHO recommend BFing until "2 years old and beyond as long as mum and baby want to", so there is no reason you have to wean at 1yo. It is fine (and recommended) to carry on with one or more BFs alongside solids for as long as you want after 1yo. It's not the same as the recommendations for stopping bottles by 12mo. You may have your own reasons of course and that too is perfectly fine as well :)

HTH
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Khalam's Mama on December 05, 2015, 12:04:39 pm
Agree with pp.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Elisanah on December 11, 2015, 15:31:08 pm
Thanks, that's really helpful!  I do want to try to get her off feeding at night so I think I'll just focus on that for now! And also take the big box of formula I bought back for a refund  ;D

I'm not sure why but I've always had 1 in my head as when I would wean. I was hoping it might enable her to settle better with others so I can put my feet up once in a while but I really enjoy breastfeeding so maybe I'll continue!

Thanks again  :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on December 12, 2015, 16:11:27 pm
Glad you sound happier with your plan. Do let us know if you need any more help or even just hand holding :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on December 18, 2015, 05:10:01 am
I always had 1 in mind as the age to wean too... I became more shaky about that the closer the time came and DH wanted me to wean so we did DODR (don't offer, don't refuse) and then the DR turned into many more feeds than he'd had previously because DS picked up on it and obviously didn't want to stop BFing. I then fed him til 2.5 or so when I had quite nasty pain while he was feeding (not typical at all) and he stopped because he didn't want to hurt me (bless!).

Agree with pp that I'd cut a NF or both before dropping a day feed.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on March 15, 2016, 15:02:02 pm
Just dipping my toe in the weaning sea, as it were. Baby is 9 months and I'm back at work in 6 weeks. He is currently BF at about 5am, sometimes at 8ish, about 11, 4ish and at bedtime. No NF (yay!!!). I want to carry on with at least the BT feed and maybe the 5am one (hopefully it will be at 6 though!) until at least a year. He will occasionally take a bit of formula from a sippy cup or bottle so I am hoping if he is desperate for milk he will drink it....but so far only from me. I am offering a bottle or cup after lunch every day so he can get used to the whole thing.

I feel so sad though. I remember feeling like this when I weaned the twins, but I love BFing little babies and I'm sad that that part of our lives is coming to an end......I know I have to but please hold my hand and give me a hug!! He's my last baby.......
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on March 16, 2016, 22:09:17 pm
Hugs. It is always bitter sweet I think whenever you wean. Don't forget you can carry on with the morning and BT feed for a long time if you want to. My DS1 did just those two feeds for a year and then just the BT feed for a couple of months after that.

Have you tried a straw sippy? BF LOs often do well with those and instinctively now how to use them. You can also make up milk in his solid food.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on March 18, 2016, 15:13:16 pm
Thanks for the hugs. I'd like to keep at least the bedtime feed for a while yet.

All the straw sippies I can find are non-spill ones - is that ok? I was thinking about stealing a coffee cup with a kid from costa and just putting a normal straw in there.....but a proper lid would be less messy especially as he likes to DO IT HIMSELF   ;D
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MasynSpencerElliotte on March 18, 2016, 21:51:42 pm
The no spill ones we have found always require an insane amount of suction to get anything out. I actually slit one open at the soft valve so DD3 could use it! My MIL has some nice kids cups from Tupperware that have a normal type straw.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on March 20, 2016, 22:53:11 pm
We have a couple of these which my DD drinks from easily http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00S6EJXAU/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1458514322&sr=8-2&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=tommee+tippee+straw+cup&dpPl=1&dpID=41wY5GQi5VL&ref=plSrch
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: 4isstillnighttime on March 22, 2016, 12:54:39 pm
Thank you. I've really got the blues about it all. My baby........ :'(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on March 22, 2016, 20:11:08 pm
Just stopped by to give some support and tell you that BF blues is completely normal. Also because of sudden lack of happy hormones :) I was devastated for a week and wanted to reactivate lactation (I was really desparate:/) but my DH stood up to the challange and kept me distracted :p
After that time I understood that this decision was made for a reason... All that blabber is to tell you it will all pass and give you so many different opportunities to be as close to your baby i.e. now my DS is feeding me :p

My DS loves this straw cup:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Philips-Avent-Beaker-Straw-Colours/dp/B005PW4554/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1458677115&sr=8-2&keywords=avent+straw
Both sizes:)

Good luck!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on March 22, 2016, 21:37:09 pm
Ah, hugs
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: NZ_Mum on May 18, 2016, 01:55:05 am
I need a hand held over here ladies!
DS3 (17mo) has suddenly stopped BFing, 2 days after his MMR shots and now it's been 4-5days with no BF and I'm sad that this is IT. :'(
With my other two I BF till 19mo and 2yr and those were both gradually weaned. This is so sudden!
He has done a nursing strike once before when he had a strep throat infection, but I was able to express and get him back to BF after a few days. But this time it has been longer and my supply was already less (older baby) and just expressing hasn't been enough to keep up production.

Logically I know he's plenty old enough to wean and I know it is just me holding onto the wish to BF as long as I did with the others. But part of me wonders if it's premature (he really seemed to enjoy it before this happened) or if that even really matters. ???
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 19, 2016, 06:59:26 am
Hi ladies!!

I am joining the weaning community  :)

I am a FTM and currently have an 11.5 month old DS who LOVES to nurse. I am in the process of gradually night weaning. He is teething and seems this bout is the worst so far. He tugs the same ear a lot and cries when laid horizontal. Anyways, I'm going to the doctor to ensure its not an ear infection or ache.

I was wondering how bad is it if you go a little backwards on the night weaning process? So I have been stretching out his NF to 6-7 hours and tonight was going to be night one of 7 hour stretches (I'm extending to at least an hour every 3 nights); however, he had a rough day for so many reasons and woke up4 hours after BT  rolling around in pain so I decided to nurse him thinking it was for comfort. Well he drained both breasts as though he was starving! He didn't have the best dinner or lunch. Seems like the last two days he has been much pickier with food preferring cold fruit and cold cheese instead of anything else really. He's usually a great eater which is why I felt comfortable night weaning. Did I just undo everything? Will it be that much harder to get back to our progress? Should I have stuck to the plan regardless?

Ideally I would like to completely wean by 13 months which why I'm starting night weaning around now. I am also wondering if I can start to switch out a BF session in the day with a cup of BF with either his snack or meal? I started introducing snack time right after a BF session.

Thanks so much!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 19, 2016, 10:10:26 am
Hugs Cathy. It's so hard especially when it's not your decision.

Jennifer, I'm sure you will be able to carry on. If he's sick now may not be the best time. Yes a snack and cup sounda like a great idea.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 19, 2016, 11:45:58 am
Hugs Cathy, I honestly can't imagine what that is like when BF creates such a strong bond.

Thanks Ali! I felt a little guilty for going off track especially since I BFed 3 times  :-X but he clearly needed it bc there was no suckling just drinking until drained then asleep. I'm wondering if I should just give him cold foods to hopefully get more calories in him and avoid him rejecting food in general.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 19, 2016, 21:49:03 pm
All bets are off when they're not well.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 20, 2016, 13:21:43 pm
HA! Yes which I don't necessarily mind but he's a slow teether so we will see how long this bout lasts.

In general,how long does the weaning process take? DS is two weeks shy of one year old so wondering realistically how long it will take me to wean in a gradual way.

Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on May 20, 2016, 20:02:34 pm
We weaned in a month when DS was 8 months old.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 21, 2016, 14:16:33 pm
I think you can pretty much go as fast or slowly as you both want. It depends how he responds to swapping the day feeds.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 21, 2016, 16:49:14 pm
We will see bc he loves his milk!

In terms of cows milk did you ladies just start giving them some right away? Or did you slowly replace the feeds with cows milk? I'm thinking of starting a day or two before he actually turns one.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 22, 2016, 18:51:45 pm
I didn't replace any feeds with cows milk.  I replaced feeds with solids. We just gave a bit of cows milk as a drink if that is what they chose as their drink on that occasion. The daytime feeds went to snacks like fruit or yogurt. When we dropped the morning feed we just went straight to breakfast with the rest of the family. The bedtime feed was the only one we offered an ounce or two of warm milk for but it wasn't aways accepted and after a few weeks that became a drink with dinner too. Mine were a lot older when we dropped the morning and BT feeds though.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on May 23, 2016, 18:35:09 pm
I did the same, as Ali said. With the difference that when I gave cows milk in a straw cup as a drink DS always drank 9oz and ate little solids. He is 16mo and it's still the same. He just loves his milk:) So I learnt to make breakfast and dinner a little portion, so none of the food lands in the trash.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 24, 2016, 12:18:35 pm
Just remember that cows milk has none of the benefits of breast milk or even formula so you don't want LO drinking large quantities of it. It isn't a complete food like breast or formula milk and doesn't have any immunological benefits either. Drinking too much cows milk is actually detrimental as it has too much of certain nutrients and is lacking in others and it can stop LO wanting to eat proper food which does have the nutrients they need.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 24, 2016, 14:07:50 pm
Wow thanks ladies! Loads of great advice. I didn't know about that Ali. Just like all things, a delicate balance is needed. So I have been reading a lot on weanjng. Not sure if that's a good thing or not since there's SO much information out there. DS LOVES cheese and Greek yogurt which he pretty much eats one or the other or both every day. So would that count as say two servings out of the 3 that is advised for cows milk? So I don't have to give cows milk during each solids meal right?

Last night DS only fed once which is astonishing. I resettled in other ways and there were no tears. I'm going to try to repeat it tonight.

I'm sorry if I'm asking too much should I start a personal thread on this?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 24, 2016, 20:15:00 pm
Ask away, that's what this thread is for.

Yes, all dairy counts towards the 3 servings a day. A serving a about 5ozs but that's very loose as obviously babies vary greatly in size and total calories required.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 25, 2016, 13:36:56 pm
Thanks Ali!

This is all very helpful. I tried giving DS BM in a cup but it was cold...he wasn't too fond of it. Should I warm it up or keep giving it to him cold since most likely cows milk will be served cold unless I warm that up too.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Bella89 on May 25, 2016, 20:33:45 pm
I warm up cows milk till now (16mo), never really throught of giving it cold:p haha, but that's just me having that dumb moment over here:p
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on May 26, 2016, 15:02:24 pm
Haha warm it is! Honestly I have never been a milk lover so this is all new territory for me!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on May 26, 2016, 22:16:54 pm
You can try it both ways and see
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on July 07, 2016, 12:17:52 pm
Hi ladies!

Our EASY  is leaning towards a morning snack and drink instead of a BF (so he doesn't fall asleep!). Is this ok at 8 months? Or should I offer formula?

We are currently on 4 feeds a day plus 1-2 night feeds. I feed after naps but if he wakes at 12ish, it might be better to offer lunch instead.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 07, 2016, 18:45:42 pm
Personally wouldn't drop a day feed while you're still having night feeds. 8mo is extremely early to go down to 3 daytime feeds.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on July 07, 2016, 18:56:24 pm
I've forgotten all of this!

So, given that I'm back to work when he's one, when would you drop feeds?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: jessmum46 on July 08, 2016, 13:30:36 pm
We dropped daytime feeds over the 10-12 month period - think we went to 3 feeds around 10 months and then 2 feeds around 11 months, with the last two being dropped at around the 12 month mark.  Others may do it differently or feel more strongly about continuing more feeds to a year of age but I felt 1 or 2 weeks wasn't going to make much of a difference and it was less stressful to do it that way with time to play with before going back to work.  I'm not sure if continuing any feeds (say morning and night) is an option for you when you are working?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on July 08, 2016, 15:17:02 pm
Ideally just night feed, so I can run out the door to work! But morning and night would be ok.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 09, 2016, 09:31:28 am
I don't think you need to start doing anything about weaning yet if 12mo is your plan to drop feeds by. 4 months is a long time in the life of a baby.

You could either start to drop a feed around 10-11 months or just continue as you are right up until you go back to work  Then get whoever is looking after him to offer a snack instead of the usual BF once you re back at work. That's what my sister did. If you aren't there he'll probably just happily accept the snack instead.  Depends on your supply though if you're worried about getting leaky boob at work!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: JennVanessa1083 on July 10, 2016, 11:53:19 am
Hi ladies! I'm wondering for a 13 month old, is it strange that he happily goes without a daytime feed or two but still takes 1 early morning NF?

Some days he wants to nurse all four day feeds (teething canines at the moment ick!!!) and sometimes he's ok with just a snack and a cup of milk (drinks maybe an ounce but I compensate with yogurt and cheese throughout the day).

Also he seems to like almond milk more than cows milk, should I still push him to drink cows milk?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 10, 2016, 14:52:44 pm
No, he doesn't need to drink actual milk. You can offer dairy as yogurt or cheese, milk on cereal or in milky puddings.

I'd just be led by him on the daytime feeds. It's probably the teething.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Scottishmummy on August 02, 2016, 15:52:06 pm
In need of some hand holding...

DD is 10mo & I go back to work in a month so need to wean her off day feeds at least...& ideally the one NF she sometimes has too.  I had hoped to BF until 1yo but our circumstances mean I have to go back to work at 11mo and I want her to be prepared. I'm just offering the afternoon feed in a cup at the moment and offering formula.

I just feel low.  I feel bad for not giving expressed milk but I know I don't have time to express with DS about and definitely won't at work (even though they have a policy to allow for expressing milk, I know it wouldn't fit with meetings and appointments). I feel bad that I haven't made it to the 1yo mark. And I feel bad that she had dropped the night feed but then started again when I fed her out of desperation to get her back to sleep. I feel bad that sometimes she won't take the cup and I offer BF instead so also failing at weaning.

My mood isn't helped by her still waking for 2 hrs in the night every night for the last 2wks. Just need a bit of a hug and hand holding to get over this.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on August 02, 2016, 19:07:47 pm
Big hugs, here to hold your hand. I'm wavering about the best thing to do, too. How many feeds are you on now?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Scottishmummy on August 02, 2016, 20:05:15 pm
Thanks MJ&N- at the moment 4 day feeds (wake up, mid-morning;mid-afternoon & BT) and sometimes 1 NF. I'm trying to replace the mid-afternoon feed first as we're always at home then so easiest to start with.

I'm finding it tricky to make up formula. I keep getting scalding water on my hands when I'm trying to shake it to mix it and then never know what the "right" temperature should be.

Are you thinking of weaning too?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on August 02, 2016, 20:12:49 pm
It'll have to happen some time, at least for day feeds. With potential work travel I'd be better off weaning completely by the time I go back, but I can play the 'breastfeeding mother' card for a while, I think.

By this point we were offering formula in a cup and DS1 just decided one day to switch all his feeds to that. He was 10.5 months so I went with it.

Thinking dropping feeds and offering a snack and maybe a sip of cow's milk in a cup might work?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: Scottishmummy on August 04, 2016, 19:38:16 pm
Thinking dropping feeds and offering a snack and maybe a sip of cow's milk in a cup might work?

I thought advice was formula or BM as a drink until 1yo?

I added HV about a snack with milk as I did that for DS about this point as he lost interest in day feeds. She took one look at DD and said she didn't think she needed any more solids! (She's 75th centile so a healthy weight IMO but obviously managing fine without snacks right now!)

More luck today here with the mid-afternoon feed. I've found that if I offer a bit of the formula on a spoon first, DD will then accept it in the cup. I'm wondering how long to wait before trying the mid-morning feed in the cup too.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on August 04, 2016, 21:01:08 pm
Yes the advice in the UK is to wait until 12mo before offering cows milk as a drink
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on August 05, 2016, 18:42:57 pm
Really, even sips in addition to feeds? Not replacing them.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: jessmum46 on August 06, 2016, 12:00:59 pm
It's fine as an additional, just not as a main drink xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on August 06, 2016, 17:39:51 pm
That was my thought. I'm aiming for 25ml or less, just to get him used to the idea.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: KYKatydid on September 24, 2016, 00:35:48 am
Currently working on night weaning DS. He is 14 months.

We were doing a feeding at a time, and knocked out his first feeding (which was around 9:30) and got him to midnight.

He is teething, and has regressed to 10:30 (DH still comforts him, but he is often up another time or two between then and midnight).

Once these teeth break through, we will resume working on it. I go back and forth between doing a feeding a time, and all at once with DH comforting him each time.

I would love to hear people's experiences. DS is on the spirited side, and is a very determined little guy. Getting him to midnight was not pretty.  :'(
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 24, 2016, 06:38:16 am
I night weaned all of mine around this age cold turkey. I just told them boobies needed to sleep so there would be no more milk at night. Then either DH or I resettled at each waking.

If your LO is eating well in the day and you have no concerns about weight/growth then once he isn't sick or teething this is the route I'd take.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: MJ&N on September 27, 2016, 07:38:22 am
Argh, I'm getting really worried about dropping a feed for nursery (he starts properly in 6 weeks but will be doing a short day once a week until then). This boy eats and drinks LOADS and still wants four feeds a day!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on September 27, 2016, 21:19:40 pm
You could just wait and let him drop the feed when he is at nursery and you are not there. That is what my sister, KM did when she went back to work. If she wasn't there he didn't expect it and happily ate solids and drank from a sippy. She even continued with more feeds at the weekend. Your LO will be one then and 6wks is a long time in a baby's life so try not to worry.
Title: 12 mo starting to refuse bottle at sitters... is this self-weaning?
Post by: marjorie_kate on November 04, 2016, 03:21:18 am
Hi All-
My DD is just over 12 months and has literally only turned down nursing one time in her life (found out that night she was sick with a tummy bug so that explained it).  She's eating 3 meals/day plus snacks and seems like she is always hungry.  In the last month I've tried dropping her 3rd feeding (after 2nd nap) and just sitting her down for a snack or dinner depending on the time of afternoon.  She usually does okay with this distraction, but I have no idea what to do about her WU, after 1st nap and BT nursing sessions.  I'm mentally more ready than I thought to drop feedings but my daughter won't let me sit down with her after WU or naps at all or she pulls at my shirt and wants to nurse!  She doesn't have a word for milk yet, but if she did I know she would be saying it to request.
To complicate things she has a dairy allergy so I can't offer whole milk or goats milk.  She has spit out soy and almond milk as well as rice milk.  She just looks at me like I'm crazy to give her that in a cup!  She can drink from a sippy cup and is close to being proficient at a straw cup so I know it's not the cup. 
Just this week she refused a bottle of breastmilk while at the sitters on a day I work!  FIRST TIME EVER!  The sitter told me she just wanted the food the other kids were eating for lunch.  This is encouraging for me, but I don't know what my plan should be for when she's at home with me.  She's an only child so it's just me and her most days. 
I can feel my supply dropping with the 3 feedings/day, but I feel like that's probably natural.  My question is what are some strategies to drop the other daytime feed and eventually bedtime too that aren't just giving other food?  Our bedtime routine has always included nursing so I'm not sure how to tweak it so it's not so centered around nursing.  She often falls asleep at BT nursing, but recently has been more squirmy and I'll put her down in the crib awake so thankfully that's not a problem at the moment.
Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated- you all have saved me a few times in my mama journey so far!
Thanks!
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on November 04, 2016, 22:53:14 pm
Have a look at our Weaning FAQ and see which approach you feel might suit you best. Weaning
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 25, 2017, 22:07:32 pm
Just checking in as I'm keen to wean my 2.5yo DD. I'm 18wks pregnant and it's so painful to nurse plus I don't fancy tandeming again like I did with my first two. I'd rather wean her now than too close to the birth so she doesn't link it with the baby's arrival. We're down to just morning and BT feeds anyway. I've been trying to distract her with getting up and going straight down for breakfast. She went 3 days in a row without the morning feed doing this but I do feed her when she asks. At BT I've been offering to cuddle her and sing to her instead.  Some nights she accepts and some nights she insists on boob. I've become strict about her mucking around though and tell her if she gets off that's the end of the feed and it's time to go in the cot. She was getting on and off for water and a toy and such at one point  Some nights she literally has 10 seconds and is done. I think due to pregnancy and skipping so many feeds my supply is very low anyway. I didn't get that full feeling even when I went 36hrs without a feed at one point this week.

I've also been telling her that the boobie milk only lasts so long and I think she's nearly drunk it all now. I feel a bit guilty especially when she told me to fill my boobs up again with milk from the fridge 😂 but it's just a white lie I hope will do no damage.

Anyone else weaned gently at this sort of age?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on June 26, 2017, 03:56:41 am
I don't know if you remember, I had a really bad time when DS was 2.5 and suddenly BFing was painful again and I told him it hurt me (I kind of had to, I was in tears) and he chose to stop and gave me hugs instead. He did say he missed BF but he was ok. I know that's likely not as gentle and slow as you're perhaps intending but that's my weaning at 2.5 story.

Hugs, this pg hasn't been easy for you.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: cath~ on June 26, 2017, 08:33:00 am
I weaned DD2's last feed at the same age (2.5yrs).

I think your approach sounds good.  With the morning feed, I'm not sure what your morning routine is like (and your DD's temperament) but could you perhaps already be downstairs when she wakes up, so she can just come down (if your DH helps her get up, for example) and find you and have breakfast?

With BT, or either really, would she accept milk from a cup (possibly a little earlier)?  Could she get to choose a special new cup for milk?  Or what about a funky curly straw for drinking it?

I think if you manage to avoid BFing for a few days in a row, then you could just tell her it's run out after that (I think that's what I did, iirc...).  She may get a little upset, but you can still offer her a cuddle/story/milk from a cup etc.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 26, 2017, 09:43:53 am
Thanks ladies.

I did tell her it's hurting me and she says she'll be really careful, bless her. She still wants it though.

My DH leaves for work before we get up in the week and she's still in a cot and can't open her bedroom do so I have to go in and lift her out really.

I might try offering a little milk in a cup after stories. I'll just have to move brushing her teeth to afterwards as I do it before the bath at the moment.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: cath~ on June 26, 2017, 09:55:12 am
I might try offering a little milk in a cup after stories. I'll just have to move brushing her teeth to afterwards as I do it before the bath at the moment.

I always wondered about this.  Is cows milk bad/worse for teeth than breastmilk?
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on June 26, 2017, 10:16:14 am
Yes,  because breastmilk is delivered to the back of the mouth and doesn't pool. Also it contains lactoferrin which actually kills the bacteria that causes tooth decay. It's important to clean other foods off the teeth first though so they don't interact.
http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/tooth-decay/
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: cath~ on June 26, 2017, 10:25:58 am
that's so clever!

thanks Ali :)
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: *Ali* on July 10, 2017, 22:32:47 pm
Thought I'd update that we've fully weaned now. I think the next morning after I last posted she fed from both sides and commented on how there was no milk. I used that opportunity to tell her that she'd obviously drunk it all then. From then on at our usual morning and evening feeds I just reminded her that the milk was all gone so we'd have water in a cup and a cuddle instead. A couple of times she protested a little for a minute or so but she just accepted it really. After about 4 days she didn't mention it again. She's been more cuddly and is always kissing me and telling me I'm her best friend since which is really cute. I didn't go the route of milk in a cup as I didn't want to set up a bad habit really.

I haven't been engorged at all so I think the milk was nearly gone due to my pregnancy. I'm 20wks now. I did get a little leakage after a shower the other day though.
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: becj86 on July 11, 2017, 03:26:00 am
That sounds like its worked out well for you both then. Glad it wasn't too difficult / heart-wrenching for you xx
Title: Re: Weaning thread part 3... Come share experiences and offer support
Post by: cath~ on July 11, 2017, 07:38:18 am
Pleased it went so smoothly Ali 🙂