BabyWhispererForums.com
ACTIVITY => E.A.S.Y. Forum => Topic started by: Mommy88 on August 20, 2016, 10:41:17 am
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Hi to everyone, I'm a first time mum looking for some advice! I'm Italian, so please forgive any English error I may make!
My DS is now almost 11 weeks old, I read Tracy's books during pregnancy and I immediately liked her philosophy, but I couldn't try to use an EASY schedule until week 8-9, because of several reasons. Anyway, I separated the Eating moment (I breastfeed) form the Sleeping one from the first day, and now my LO can sometimes fall asleep in his crib almost independently.
I have big problems with naps (always 30 minutes, no 1 minute more), and I really think that it is due to a wrong timing of the E and A phases. I BF and in the first days it was told me to leave him attached for all the time he wanted: this has lead to very long Eating times (from 40 minutes to 1 hour and even more!). Now I know this is wrong, but the consequences are still here with us! DS often falls asleep during BF and then the A phase is very long (1 hour of activity, eating excluded). Result: an OT baby who sleeps only for 30 minutes! The night usually goes better, but I have to admit that he goes to bed too late (between 9 and 10 pm).
So, our schedule is quite a mess... The only goal is the sequence E-A-S, but for the rest I really don't know where to start from!!
About naps: he settles quite easily, I always put him in the crib in phase 2, with eyes open, and usually he falls asleep (other times he cries and then I have to pick him up after some trials of shush patting and let him fall asleep in my arms, when he's very nervous). After 30 minutes, he wakes: I try to resettle him by shushing, patting, using the paci, covering his eyes, but nothing works. If I pick him up he relaxes and then falls asleep again.
Yesterday morning he slept for 30 minutes and after the resettling he went on for 2 hours (now it's doing the same thing), so the EASY timing of 3 hours was completely ruined...! I see he's very tired, and I don't know if I have to wake him... But he has to eat too!!
The last 2 nights he's also been very agitated (not usual for him) and I had to feed him many times: can it be a growth spurt? Can this be the reason why he's sleeping so soundly now in the morning (never slept like this before)?
I'm really exhausted (LO is exhausted too, poor baby of mine) and I know it's my fault... In the first days everyone told me that a baby sleeps wherever he is and that I had to set him free of doing what he wanted... This is the result!! :(
Where can I start from? Thanks everyone!!
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Here's yesterday:
WU: 8.00
E: 8.00. - 8.40
A: 8.40 - 10.00
S: 10.00 - 10.30 many trials of resettling, he slept from 11.10 to 12.50
E: 12.50 - 01.40
A: 01.40 - 03.00
S: 03.00 - 03.30 + resettling trials failed
E: 04.00 - 04.55
A: 04.55 - 06.00
S: 06.00 - 06.25 + resettling trials failed
E: 06.50 - 07.25
A: -
S: 07.25 he fell asleep at the end of BF (never done before, very early for him) till 08.00
A: 08.00 - 08.30 (diaper change, swaddling)
S: 08.30 - 09.30
E: DF 09.40 - 09.55
NW: 01.00, 03.00, 05.50 (I fed him every time), very agitated (continuous movements of the limbs)
WU at 07.00, stays alone in the crib moving his arms and legs, sleeping a bit, then moving again, for about 50 minutes
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Hello and welcome again :)
Sorry to hear how tired you are feeling - try to use every opportunity to take a break or nap any time possible!
You've done brilliantly to start the EAS cycle early on and it sounds like your LO is well on his way to self settling too - that's really great! :)
In terms of the routine and short naps, it looks like your A times are too long for his age. We have a list of guidance A times here:
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
You will see that 3 months (which your LO is approaching, roughly ) there is a guidance A time of 1hr 20 to 1hr 30. Looking at your EASY sample the A times are much longer than this, more like 2hrs. The guidance times are only guidance, some parents observe that their LO does much better on longer or shorter than the guidance and that's fine so long as everything is working but when things are not working so well let's start with those times - I suggest from now you aim to have him asleep after 1hr 20 to 1hr 30 max. The A time is the *entire time he is awake* regardless of whether he is eating, having nappy change, singing songs or the wind down routine in readiness for sleep - it is everything from eyes open and awake to eyes shut and asleep.
It think this might be where you were a little confused, I know in the book A time is described as after E time but the E is part of the A, I hope this makes sense to you.
Now, then as he is eating for a long time this means that you have very little time to do much else, feed, nappy change and perhaps a few short minutes of interaction and then begin the wind down. Some babies like the full 20 minute wind down as described in the books, some do not (mine liked about 3 mins) so check the time and begin your WD based on how long you know/think it will take and with the aim of sleep being at 1hr 20-30 after the last wake up time.
I suggest you try to reduce and stop the falling to sleep on the breast, cat napping on the breast makes it much harder to work out the routine as he has not been awake the full time. It might be easier to stop him fallign to sleep on the reast once he has shorter A times and is getting more rest.
If you do need to resettle mid-nap that's fine, continue as you have been doing - you might also want to try a W2S
See here, scroll to "Naps wake to sleep option 1" and adapt it a little for your own LO. As you LO is waking at 30 mins you would not enter the room at this time but earlier, say 20 or 25 mins and begin shush/pat to help him remain calm and sleepy and help him through the sleep cycle transition. You might like to try for a new days to see if you feel it is helpful, it can help LOs transition rather than fully waking and can be useful with OT wake ups. You would not aim to do this for ever, a few days only. If you are too tired or busy to do this every nap I suggest you pick one nap per day, it is useful to choose the same nap each day (nap 1 is a good place to start) rather than changing every day.
Increased NF (night feeds) can certainly be a growth spurt. Your supply is increased during the night. The feeds look at least 2hrs apart so I wouldn't worry about this as it may pass in a week or so. Increased NWs can also be due to OT but I would expect him not to feed if he is not used to feeding to sleep (habit/prop) and if he is not hungry.
If he naps longer and goes past his E time I would let this happen without too much concern unless it becomes a problem. Healthy babies generally know what they need and might prioritise a nap over food when they are very tired, yes he'll likely be very hungry when he wakes but he will eat straight away.
I hope I answered all your questions. Please let me know if you need anything explaining.
By the way, your English is great :)
Let us know how you get on.
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Thanks so much for your prompt answer! I couldn't answer before today because we went to the seaside and I hadn't a good Internet connection, but in these days I tried to make some changes and there are some results!
I shortened the A time to about 1:30 hours (LO is 12 weeks now). The WD has become shorter and easier: from 30-40 minutes to 10-15, with minimal fussing, so I think this is a good sign, isn't it?!
Then he still wakes after 30 minutes, BUT if I try W2S it sometimes works: he has made some 1:30 and even 2 hours naps!
It doesn't work every time, and then, if he cries, I pick him up and after 5 minutes he's ready for the crib again. After these resettlings, he has more difficulties to fall totally asleep: he stays quiet in the crib with his eyes not completely closed and moves his head from side to side every 2-3 minutes like someone who's trying to relax. I stay with him putting one hand on his chest and the other above his eyes: this phase can last even 20 minutes, is it normal? Today I went out of the room before he was 100% asleep and he waked again after 5 minutes. I resettled him and then stayed with him as I said and after 10 minutes I just sit by the crib looking at him. He made some noises and moved his head for about other 20 minutes (eyes slightly opened, just a tiny bit), then fell asleep for another 40 minutes. How can I help him going through this very light sleep phase on his own? Am I doing right or there's something different I can do? In those moments he can be disturbed by every little noise, so I'm using a white sound app to cover them.
Thanks in advance, I love this forum!
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Hello, I hope you had a lovely time at the seaside :)
I'm so sorry but I realise I did not put in the link to the W2S, it's here, I see you have been using W2S anyway but have a look as there are different methods:
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
the one I suggest is the naps option 1 where you begin to shush/pat (or adapted if you do something else, a firm hand and a key phrase perhaps or white noise and rubbing back) and see LO right through the transition.
It sounds like you have had some success which is great! :)
Resettling after properly waking up mid nap is always harder in my experience, if you can catch him before he fully wakes and sooth him through the transition time that may be more successful. However what you are doing sounds great, comforting in arms and putting down again, a hand on his chest if needed and then backing off to let him try alone, this is perfect :)
Now there are 2 or 3 usual reasons for waking mid nap, these are UT (under tired), OT (overtired) or not learned to self settle and transition from one sleep cycle to another alone yet. I think initially your LO was OT. I think now he is still learning to transition and you are doing a great job in helping him learn. it really does sound like he is trying to self settle so this is great and holding back to allow him to learn this is brilliant, the W2S method I suggested might help as it often avoids LO fully waking. Continue to work on improving his ability to self settle at the beginning of the nap too so that he can fall to sleep without help and this can also help him transition alone.
Using white noise is totally fine, many people use it throughout naps and night sleep.
The level of stimulation during his A time can also impact on how tired he is. Lots of stimulation and he might be tired a bit sooner, but very low key activity means he might not be fully tired for a long nap. If you know in your routine there are different levels of stimulation you can adapt your routine a little to take this into account. For example if you attend a baby group and he is highly stimulated then he may need a bit shorter A time. This may help to get more of the naps longer - 30 min naps may mean OT or OS (over stimulated. Over stimulated doesn't always mean you have to stop that doing that activity but maybe do it for a shorter time and put him to nap a little earlier).
If you want to post a recent EASY with times I can have a look for you.
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Thank you again!
Here's yesterday:
WU: 08:10
E: 08:10
A
S: 09:45 (WD started at 09:30), awake 10:25, resettled 10:45, awake 11:00
E: 11:00
A
S: 12:25 (WD started at 12:10), awake 12:48, resettled 13:40 (a lot of difficulties to settle him again), awake 14:50 (the eating was intended to be at 14:00 but I let him rest)
E: 14:50
A
S: 16:40 (WD 16:30) - I know, I started the WD too late but I couldn't do it before...
E: 17:45
A
S: 19:30 (WD 19:20), awake 19:50 - I know, I started the WD too late but I couldn't do it before...
E: 20:30
S: 21:50, at 22:20 cries a bit but self settles without any help
Night wakings at 01:50 and 05:10, I feed him both times.
He waked at about 07:00 crying, but self settled again and slept until 08:20 (when I woke him up).
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S: 16:40 (WD 16:30) - I know, I started the WD too late but I couldn't do it before...
E: 17:45
Was this nap an hour without need for resettling?
Was BT the sleep at 7.30pm or 9.50pm?
I'm just pondering about the A times etc.
For now I suggest your really try to get him to sleep by the 1hr 30 mark.
I more frequently suggest to people that their A times need increasing but in your case I feel LO will do better with the shorter A time. Your feedback about him taking less time to settle seems to confirm this too.
If you are able to keep the A times on track for a few days he may well sleep better and be less OT, also I may be able to see a pattern more clearly so that I can support as best I can.
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Yes, this nap was continuous, and even today he has slept from 03.30 pm to 04.00, then resettled and from 04.10 to 06.00!
The BT was 09.50: the earliest BT of his life has been 09.20. I'd love he would go to bed earlier, but all the times I've put him to sleep at about 07.00 or 07.30 he has woken up after 30 minutes, without success in resettling.
You're right about the A times: in these days I've had a lot to do, but I really want to be more consistent!
Do you think I can try to introduce a DF to avoid the first night waking? For now I'm concentrating on the naps, but maybe working on the night too can be useful... Or not?!
I've also noticed that he's not so hungry anymore at the 3 hour mark during the day... Maybe I should try a 3.5 hour routine... Or it's too early (he's almost 13 weeks old, breastfeeding only)?!
Thanks again, you're very kind! :)
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OK. I suggest keep going with the 1hr 30 for now and lets see how it goes.
The only way I can see to bring BT earlier would be to wake him earlier in the morning and shift the whole day a bit. You might want to try that out, it's totally up to you. You might like the later WU in the morning with the routine you have now.
Yes you could try to introduce a DF, not all babies take them but you can try it and see how it works for you. There would still be another NF in addition.
With the day feeds it's ok to move to more like 3hr 10 say, you don't have to jump right to 3hr 30 or 4hr. Maybe try a slightly longer time between E and see if you feel LO is feeding better.
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Hi!
Yesterday has been a strange day, with a very bad night, while today's gone so much better!
On August 30 LO was vaccinated for the first time, maybe this affected his mood yesterday... By the way, here's the EASY scheme:
September 1st
WU and E: 08.22
A
S: 10.06 (WD from 09.42), awake 10.48 (W2S failed), resettled 10.59, awake 11.30, very fussy all the time
E: 11.30
A
S: 01.00 (WD from 12.45), awake 01.22, resettling failed, very fussy all the time
E: 02.15
A
S: 03.30 (WD from 03.15), awake 04.00, resettled 04.10, slept until 06.00
E: 06.05
A
S: WD at 07.30, didn't sleep at all, wide awake during all the time, never drowsy
E: 08.50
S: 11.20 (WD from 10.00, with LO fully awake who couldn't get drowsy in any way, very fussy)
1st NW: 02.30 (as usual), BF and bed
2nd NW: 04.30, crying, I pick him up trying to soothe him until 05.20, when I BF him, then bed at 05.50
September 2nd
WU: 07.20, crying
E: 08.40
A
S: 10.25 (WD from 10.10), W2S at 10.50, sleeps until 12.10
E: 12.18
A
S: 02.05 (WD from 01.50), W2S 02.30, sleeps until 03.30
E: 03.38
A
S: 05.18 (WD from 04.55), awake at 05.43, very happy, I try to resettle but he wants to stay awake
E: 06.44
A
S: doesn't sleep because of some friends visiting us
E: 08.45 (I anticipated the E to have an earlier BT)
That's it until now: 2 good naps without interruption, I'm so happy! I hope the W2S keeps on working like today!
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Lots of LOs go off their routine when they have their jabs, mine certainly did and most of the people I know with babies said the same. I also noticed some disturbance/side effects a couple of weeks later too.
Well, I'm not sure what to say about your 2nd Sept EASY times. The A times are sky high but you got better sleeps. That first A time of 3hrs is more like a 6 month old. It's not unheard of though, my own DS needed a very long first A time and some LOs move to 2 naps earlier than expected because of long A times with long naps.
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The first A time of the day is very long because now he uses to wake up at about 07.40, with some little laments at the beginning and then making little sounds, like he's "talking". He can go on this way even for 1 hour, with some brief sleeping moments in between. I don't know what to do, because it's too early to breastfeed him again (last feed at 05.15), and he's so peaceful that I don't want to interrupt him. Then I feed him (today at 08.45), then there's A time again and only at 10.10 (today) he falls asleep again. Today he woke at 10.50, after 40 minutes, with a big smile, and W2S didn't work. I tried to resettle him but he suddenly became fussy, so after 10 minutes I took him out of the room and he became calm again. We stayed on the sofa without talking or moving, he played with his hands (his newest discovery) and then, at 11.45, I breastfed him (and he wasn't drowsy at the breast, but fully awake, smiling and playful).
I'm a bit confused about his behaviour...
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OK, I suggest you keep going as you are for now whilst I try to get a sense of what suits him.
It could be that he had some OT which initially led to those 30 min naps you mentioned in your first post but that now he is better slept he actually does better on a longer A time. I'm not 100% sure tbh (especially as he seemed much easier to resettle on the day you started shorter A time and he did 2hr sleep after the resettle) and just thinking if I keep looking at his routine I'll get more idea of him as we go along.
Sorry I don't have a clear cut answer for you at the moment.
How's his mood in general, it sounds like he is happy and well rested now but I'm aware in your first post you said he is exhausted.
And are things feeling any easier for you too?
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Mhmm, the day is getting worse and worse... :(
September 3rd
WU: 07.40
E: 08.45
A
S: 10.10 (WD from 09.58), awake 10.45 (W2S failed), resettling failed, together on the sofa until feed, good mood
E: 11.50
A
S: 01.34 (WD from 01.24, I wanted to do it before but he pooed), W2S failed, wide awake crying 02.07, resettling failed, very fussy all the time, I keep him in my arms until feed
E: 02.45
A
S: 03.30 (WD from 03.17), awake crying after 5 minutes (I was still shush patting him in the crib), resettled 04.24 (in the meanwhile he cries, then drowsy, then cries, all in my arms), awake crying after 5 minutes (I was still shush patting him in the crib), I give up, he cries in my arms
E: 05.19 till now
I really don't know what's wrong with him, some things work one day and the other they don't... When I put him in the crib his eyes are slightly opened, and he doesn't cry when I put him down, but he stays quiet for about 5 min and only then he suddenly cries. I keep shush-patting him without interruption... I'd like to settle him without picking him up, like this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4edQ0t_XALo
but it doesn't seem to work (maybe I give up too early, today I've tried for 7 minutes). Maybe I'm doing some other AP, I don't know...
In these days, since I wrote here for the first time, he stayed generally better, more relaxed, but then there are days like this that really discourage me... I really want him to have a good relation with sleep, but I'm often tired and confused...
Thanks for your kindness!!
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Sorry to hear you are feeling discouraged. Sleep training does take time and it can be frustrating too.
Well, I can barely believe I'm going to suggest this but considering you are doing long A times anyway I don't think it's too far outside the box to give it a shot. But it's up to you. Here's what I think looking at your times and your success/no-success.
First A timed from WU 3hrs (the A time of a 6 month old)
Second A timed from end of nap 1 2hrs
Third A 2hrs...and try to aim for BT around 7 or 8pm rather than later, time depending on how naps went and a suitable A time before BT.
However if any nap is less than 1hr I suggest you to reduce the A time right down to 1hr 30, beginning WD at 1hr 15 to aim for him to be asleep by 1hr 30. If you try to settle him for 30 mins and he is still not settling then come out of the room for a short while (feed if needed) and then begin WD again shortly after.
S: 01.34 (WD from 01.24, I wanted to do it before but he pooed), W2S failed, wide awake crying 02.07, resettling failed, very fussy all the time, I keep him in my arms until feed
E: 02.45
A
S: 03.30 (WD from 03.17), awake crying after 5 minutes (I was still shush patting him in the crib), resettled 04.24 (in the meanwhile he cries, then drowsy, then cries, all in my arms), awake crying after 5 minutes (I was still shush patting him in the crib), I give up, he cries in my arms
for reference these two naps sound very OT. The A time from end of nap 1 to beginning of nap 2 is almost 3hrs and this appears to be way too long.
The video is nice, something to aim for :)
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Thanks again, nowI'm trying different A times as you said to see if they work... It seems like I'm spending my whole days in a dark room with LO, sometimes I feel so discouraged... But I have no choice, if I want him to learn to sleep, isn't it?!
I have some doubts about the swaddling: in the first weeks I swaddled DS with a Aden&Anais Easy Swaddle and it worked great. He didn't wake up at night, never, and this affected the starting of breastfeeding: my ped said to let him sleep, but then he lose some weight, instead of gaining it, and therefore I stopped swaddling him. Another reason is that the summer became hotter and hotter, and he sweated a lot in the swaddle.
Stopping the swaddling, he started to wake up at night, usually twice, and his weight increased (now he is 5 kg, 3 months today).
Sometimes I have swaddled him again, in the fussiest (and freshiest) nights, and he slept better. In the meanwhile, he outgrew the Easy Swaddle and I bought the Bubbaroo Joey Pouch: this is very much lighter and allows the movement of the limbs. It worked, but not so much like the previous one. Now he has started putting his hands in the mouth, as self soothing: yesterday he woke up from his nap and first cried a bit, then, when I entered the room, I found him sucking his hands. I've tried another kind of swaddle too, the Ergobaby one, which keeps his hands near his chest, but he can set his hand free and put it in his mouth. I don't know if I have to try a classic swaddle system, with the arms straight (like the Aden&Anais Easy Swaddle) or if I have to let him move his hands near his face if he wants to... In this moment he has just awaken from his nap and he's not crying, but just "talking", and I think it's because he can self soothe (now he's wearing the Joey Pouch).
Any suggestion about it? Here in Italy no one swaddle his babies, so I have to find every information here on the Internet.
Thanks again!!
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It seems like I'm spending my whole days in a dark room with LO, sometimes I feel so discouraged...
Sometimes we find it might be better for mum if they work on one or two naps per day rather than all of them. When mine was short napping I did try to get him back into a good routine but I also accepted he was just in a phase of short naps and I worked our day around his 40 min naps so that we got out to the park for some air and sun rather than spend the entire day shush patting in a dark room, which, tbh can end up quite miserable.
Please don't feel you have to 'fix' everything in one go. If you need to get out then do.
I do think the shorter second and third a times may help though so if anything try to get those A times down and see if sleep is better.
I'm sorry I am no help with the various swaddles on the market, my DS was only swaddle for naps and even then only for the first 10 wks, I never bought any of the items you've mentioned, just used a baby blanket.
I know others in the community have experience with swaddles though.
Depending what sort of support you'd like you could post here for product info and recommendations or to hear what other people thought of a certain product:
Hoggwatch - Product Recommendations
or if you are not sure to use the swaddle of not then it's more of a sleep question so perhaps post here:
General Sleep Issues
You can continue this thread for support with routine and still post to another board for a different question.
To save you re-typing out the info you can perhaps copy and past into your new thread.
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Hi again, I'm sorry if I couldn't answer before...!
Things are going better since I've tried the Miracle Blanket in the last days. LO really needs his arms to be still: this morning, after 30 minutes from the beginning of his nap, I looked at him and I saw him awakening. Then he looked around him for a few minutes and fell asleep again, all on his own; he woke up again after 1 hour, so we had a 1.5 hour nap without any help... A big success!!
I'm also trying to move his BT earlier: I've noticed he falls asleep after 1 hour from the end of the last feed (for example, if the last feed finishes at 8:00 he can't fall asleep before 9:00). I can do anything, but if this time is not passed, he can't relax...
In the next days I'll write down our EASY progress, let's keep in touch and thanks again!!! :D
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That's great news :) I do love to read a positive update :) Yay!
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Hi again,
things are getting very mixed up... In the last 3 days, LO (now he is 15 weeks old) has been very fussy at nap time. He is always very quiet and happy during the day, but when I put him in the bedroom to sleep he starts to scream as soon as I swaddle him. I don't see any sleepy cue, he always seems the same, so I use the clock to "decide" when it's nap time, otherwise he gets OT very easily.
In the past, I've rocked him to calm him down, while patting his back and singing a lullaby, gradually reducing the movement, and putting him in the crib partially awake. Then I shielded his eyes, patting on his chest and keeping on with the lullaby, more and more slowly, until he fell asleep. The total time of this process was about 15-10 minutes.
Now he's become heavier and stronger, and he fights me, arching his back, and he really hurts my arm while I'm holding him, and my legs are aching too (I'm a tiny lady). I really don't know how to calm him down, also considering that he IS calm until I put in the bedroom to sleep: why does he become so upset every single time?
Yesterday he had 3x30 minutes naps, with only 1 resettling; today he skipped the second nap at all, there was no way to calm him down... :'( Now he's sleeping but I'm sure he'll wake up again at the 30 minutes mark!
I'm afraid I created some bad habits and now I don't know how to fix them. In her book, Tracy used PU/PD with a baby aged like mine... Maybe starting now can be more effective than waiting more... But I'm also afraid I don't have the strength to deal with it.
Maybe I should go with the 4-hour routine, instead of the 3-hour one, and see what happens... I really don't know what to do!
Last week he seemed to sleep way better and now he looks like another baby!
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Oh, sorry to hear things have gone a bit off track.
It could be that your LO is moving towards the 4 month regression which is often a time of short naps and is always when Tracy suggested moving to the 4 hr EASY.
I remember you had some long A times - often at this age when we begin to see short naps it is because the A time needs to be increased as LO is older and can manage more time awake. What A time have you been working with recently? is it different to what you were working with when he was doing the longer naps?
The refusal, screaming and back arching can be UT signs as well as OT signs (it really depends if you are giving super long A times or if they are a bit too short now). I don't think there is need to move to PUPD but rather to have another look at your routine.
Can you post your recent EASY please?
And meanwhile if he is screaming and kicking as soon as you walk into the bedroom I suggest trying this, say to him "Oh, seems you're trying to tell me you aren't ready for a nap yet, sorry, let's go and do something else for a little while instead" take him back out of the room and have a little cuddle, a chat, a look out of the window together or a quiet play with a toy for 15 mins then try again. Remember to make a note of the trial time and when he actually falls to sleep.
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Thanks again and again, you're always so kind! :)
Today's going a little better, I'll post our EASY routine as soon as I can.
In the meanwhile, I have a doubt about the resettling: DS wakes up after 30 or 45 minutes, crying (I think it's more a mantra cry than a real cry, but I'm not sure I distinguish them...). I pick him up and his crying gets louder, but just for a few seconds, then he relaxes in my arms.
Then, he gets more and more drowsy:
1. if I keep him in my arms, without moving, he doesn't fall asleep again, but just stays with a subtle split in his eyes. This can last for even 30 minutes, until the end of the nap time;
2. if I put him in the crib when he's drowsy, he stays for a few seconds, then shakes his head, fully open his eyes and starts crying again.
At the beginning of the nap I put him in the crib with his eyes opened, somewhere between the phase 2 and 3 described in the books, then I pat his chest, shield his eyes and he falls asleep. This technique doesn't work during the resettling...
So my question is: what do I have to do? Today I've tried 3 times to put him down, but when I saw he didn't fall asleep again I just held him in my arms until the feed time (and during these 30 minutes he never fell asleep again, but just stayed with his eyes slightly opened, as I said).
I think that in this way he rests a little bit more and that it's better than fully wake him... But maybe in this way I can create a wrong association between "sleeping" (he doesn't sleep but he is very close to sleeping) and being held? Maybe I can do something different?
Any advice is welcome!
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DS wakes up after 30 or 45 minutes, crying
Often 30 min naps indicate OT (but not always) whilst 45 min naps indicate UT (but not always) which is why we tend to look closely at the times of the routine throughout the day.
Changing the A time can many times help with 30 or 45 min naps but it's not really possible for me to say whether you need to increase or decrease your A times.
Another thing you can try is W2S.
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
If you have a look at naps option 1. This is where you begin shush/pat or adapted (can be patting chest hand over eyes or whatever you usually do to sooth) before he fully wakes instead of waiting for him to wake. It can help LOs transition from one sleep cycle to the next. I will say though it is likely harder when the A time is not appropriate. If he is very OT or UT he may not respond well to this method.
If it was me I'd probably only do the holding thing a few times. Then I'd probably decide to either just get him up or get him back in his cot. it's not something I would have continued with for every nap every day but rather something I might have done during teething or illness as more of a one-off.
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Yesterday
WU: 08.00
E: 08.23
A
S: 09.58 (WD from 09.45), awake 11.16, no help required
E: 11.36
A
S: 01.08, after 3 attempts to put him down (WD from 12.47), resettling failed, very fussy all the time, I keep him in my arms until feed
E: 02.39
A
S: 04.21 (WD from 04.06), awake 04.52, resettling failed, drowsy but awake in my arms until 05.30
E: 05.42
A
S: 07.18 (WD from 07.00), awake 07.54, I don't try to resettle
E: 08.42
A
BT: 10.33 (WD from 09.33), I put him in the crib drowsy but awake at 10.00 but then he starts smiling and playing, I try to help him fall asleep leaving him in the crib but after 15 minutes he starts crying and I pick him up again
I'd really like to have an earlier BT, but whenever I start the WD he doesn't fall asleep before 10.30. In the morning he wakes at about 08.00-08.30, maybe I should wake him before? But I also think he needs to rest... Maybe I can move the last feed an hour before? But I'm afraid he won't eat enough... I have so many doubts!
Thank you very much!
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I've just had a convocation for substitute teaching, I have to start tomorrow morning... I can actually work just for one day and then stay at home (Italian laws), but tomorrow I must be at school at 9.20. It takes about 45 minutes to arrive there, so I'll have to BF my son at about 07.30, then I'll leave him with my mother and a bottle of pumped milk... It's an occasion to move his WU time earlier, maybe it will affect his BT too...
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OK things are likely to go a bit off track if you have an unusual day so I would expect anything tomorrow and for a while after.
The good thing though is, yes, this can be a time to adjust his WU.
To shift BT I would suggest starting with WU time anyway, moving it earlier in increments is one way of shifting BT earlier rather than just hoping LO will go to sleep earlier but it never happens.
FWIF mine always did a 10-11hr night, he was not a 12hr a night sleeper so although he has been able to sleep independently since he was very young there was no way I could get longer nights.
The other thing you can do is use that 7ish nap as BT instead. If/when he wakes you treat as a night waking and stay in a dark room with minimal activity, helping him to go to sleep. Quite tiring and hard work but after a few nights your day ought to be moved.