ACTIVITY => E.A.S.Y. Forum => Topic started by: *niki* on July 09, 2017, 18:52:57 pm

Title: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: *niki* on July 09, 2017, 18:52:57 pm
I hate to admit it but DD is such a grumpy baby..  i am wondering if there is something i should change in her routine..
This is our day :

Wake up 7AM
Eat (formula) 6 oz
A 7-8h15
S 8h15 - 10h45 or 11h
E 6oz
A 11h-12h15
S 12h15 - 14h45-15h
E 6oz
A 15h-.. this is where it gets though.. sometimes up until 16h30, sometimes drinks extra 2oz before catnap..
S 16h30-17h15
A 17h15 - 19h
E 6oz
19h Bedtime
Wakes up around 3-4 AM, drinks 2oz, sometimes same again around 5AM.

Any help appreciated !

Title: Re: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: creations on July 10, 2017, 08:36:10 am
Hi there
Your routine looks fine.  A time is about average, naps are longer than average but don't seem to be having a negative effect on the routine.  Last A time of the day is quite long as 1hr 45 compared to the other A times and for age, but again doesn't seem to be impacting on night sleep or morning WU time and perhaps she needs that longer A time having had such great naps during the day. Day feeds are regular and 4hrly due to the nap times, and night feeds look normal - so all in all the routine looks great! In fact I think many would be very jealous of that routine.

The grumpiness then - could just be her character type.  Have you done the "know your baby quiz"?

What is it about her mood that you are finding difficult?  Is she hard to get down for naps or maybe you find feeding hard or she grumbles a lot through A time and isn't interested in interacting with you, maybe gets bored of toys quickly, or something else...what is it?  As the routine looks okay it may help to give some more detailed description about her mood or the parts of the day which you find particularly hard.
Title: Re: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: *niki* on July 10, 2017, 18:06:07 pm
Thanks for your answer..
i think i'm just second guessing everything ATM to try to help my DD be happier.. glad to read you think the routine is ok.. i'm not saying i get it spot on every day, she does need help to transition past the 45 min nap from time to time.. and she takes about 10 min to fall asleep.. if she gets too upset, i pick her up to calm her.. then put her back down in a dreamy state, but not fully asleep.. So sleep isn't the problem.. it's the awake time.. hard to describe, but i can tell you i answered D or E (spirited/grumpy) to most questions in the quizz.  She just seems never happy.. hardly smiles, mostly cries.. can't leave her alone 30 seconds, let alone long enough to eat breakfast or shower.. she doesn't enjoy playmat, swing, toys, music, etc... the only thing that will keep her calm is going outside (thank god for summer!).
TBH it feels like it's witching hour 24/7 !
She did spit up a lot (getting better), so i'm treating her for reflux with zantac and seeing an osteopath.. there doesn't seem to be any medical issue either.
well.. i guess i just needed to vent... i feel like i'm failing so bad at being a good mum for her, not being able to figure out what she needs.. or maybe it's just who she is.. ?
Title: Re: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: creations on July 11, 2017, 09:26:22 am
Spirited-Grumpy-Refluxer - I'm not surprised you need to vent :)
Vent away x

First though, accept that you are a great mum and don't beat yourself up just because she has the grumps.  You're doing your best and have already done brilliantly to recognise both her nature and reflux (my own was not diagnosed with silent reflux until he was 5 months, imagine how bad I felt that he'd been suffering so long!) which is a huge achievement and I'm sure she appreciates how attentive and observant you are.

You might find the days easier to get through if you plan out a routine you can manage which answers both her needs and yours as much as possible.  For example it might be possible to get her fed and dressed then sit outside in your PJs with a cuppa during her first A time.  Once you get her down for the first nap jump in the shower as soon as she's asleep.  Out of the bathroom for the 45 min resettle then use the rest of nap to get dried and dressed and eat breakfast.  Then you're ready for the next stint of A time where you could get out the house for a walk.  Either head home in time for her second nap or stay out and have lunch from a bakery or cafe, let her nap in the pram?
If there are baby groups in your area with any outside space they might be a good choice to work into the routine (or start asking around where such places might be ready for when she's a bit older).  A library near us has a lovely quiet garden, they do rhyme time for babies and toddlers but to be honest my DS didn't like those noisy groups so I mostly avoided them but using the garden was nice.  I used to stand at my DS's bed waiting for him to wake from his first (long) nap then literally pick him up and pop him in the sling to get us out the house fast enough, I fed him once we arrived at the park so we had birds and trees and open blue sky to look at - made us both feel better even though it was a bit of a dash to get him back home for the next nap.  Sometimes I just walked to a public bench and sat there with him, people watching in the village!  When he was older we stood in the street and watched workmen dig the road or visit garden centres to just roam around - you can be quite inventive with outdoors time to work out things to do.
I'm sure you'll find your groove.  She is still very young and it does take time to work out what they like to do and how you can work that into the day, adapting the the baby you have and their own unique character with likes and dislikes.  For instance with my DS I never imagined I could enjoy a trip to the electricals shop to look at row upon row of washing machines but that was a "day out" for us!!  He really doesn't like animals so trips to the zoo or farm were off the list (although we have play farms here which are more about play and climbing than animals - he skips the animal bit).  I couldn't even bath him for 5 months as he screamed the place down so I just dipped him in water once per week and the rest of the time washed him with a cloth - I'd been under the impression all babies like water, not mine!  Our BT routine certainly did not include bath time, it was far too upsetting an experience to put right before sleep when he needed to be relaxed.  When he was older he eventually loved his bath.

Maybe you could write out a list of places to go, it doesn't need to be amazing, just outdoors, maybe places with good food for you or places which have an undercover outdoor area for rainy days?
Maybe look at your routine and see what you really need to fit in and when you can do it based on her sleeps, once you get into a routine which sees to your own needs (breakfast, shower, lunch...) you will likely feel the whole day is easier.

But remember, you can only do what you can do. you are unlikely to be able to keep her happy all of the time, none of us can keep our kids happy all the time and it wouldn't prepare them for real life if we did.
Title: Re: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: *niki* on July 11, 2017, 13:05:05 pm
Thanks for all your good ideas... i'll give them a try - and head outdoors !  we keep joking that she doesn't like this house !.. Yesterday was a good day, i think writing about it and also had a good talk (and cry) with DH helped me release some pressure.  i can only do my best for her, i can't be perfect... this is my 3rd child : you'd think i would have figured that out before !  Being calmer around her and keep activities low-key seems to help... This continued into a good night.. she slept for 11hrs straight ! 

Thanks - i really appreciate your messages !
Title: Re: Grumpy 2.5mo.. is my routine right ?
Post by: creations on July 11, 2017, 13:47:13 pm
Ah, sorry to hear you needed a cry, but it really does help to get the stress hormones released and sometimes we just have to let it out. xx

I had another thought too after I'd posted. In baby and toddler groups my DS did not like it too busy or loud and I was able to figure out the best time to arrive/leave (leaving before the groups songs was key) but even so there could still be upsets and he'd need to calm down. I used to hold him so our backs were to the room and people and look out the window with him. I'd talk very quietly to him as though it was just him and me and tell him to look out of the window and I'd keep up the chat about how everything was okay, and there is a tree and there is the sky and everything is okay etc etc.  We also did looking out of the window at home when he was upset, it worked really well, maybe try that as you can't always leave the house the moment she's is a grump.
LO's characters change over time too. it could be she's destined to be an out-doorsy girl and that is seen as a big plus for older kids, teens and adults.  Or it could be that she becomes more accustomed to things she isn't keen on now and therefore just easier to accommodate.  You might find in a few months (or even now) she can be interested in picture books of nature for example and once she can hold those up herself you might be able to be a bit more hands off for a few minutes to get lunch ready.
Another thought - have you considered if there are any strong smells in the home?  It could be she isn't keen on the laundry detergent or wood polish or something.  Whilst you can't eliminate all smells for a sensitive LO you might be able to change or reduce some.  I'd spent what felt like hours getting mine to fall asleep in his pram and he was sleeping deeply, only to then enter a building which smelled of bleach and he instantly woke and screamed the place down.
You might have already thought of all these things.
hugs - you'll be okay x