SLEEP => Naps => Topic started by: Aimi on April 11, 2019, 14:48:11 pm

Title: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Aimi on April 11, 2019, 14:48:11 pm

My LO is 10 weeks today and it's getting harder and harder to get her to take the last (4th) nap of the day. She falls asleep within 10 minutes all her other naps but this one she fights and screams and today it took 35min! I'm wondering if our routine needs a tweek somewhere to help with this?

Also, sometimes when she has had several shorter naps or woken up early we would need a fifth nap to get to bedtime and a 12 hour day but she just wont have it. I'm wondering how early I could do bedtime without getting up at 5 am the next day? Say she wakes from a 40 min nap at 5.15pm when could we put her to bed?
We start wind down at 1,10 or slightly earlier if she shows sleepy cues. So far she sleeps in a sling for all her naps.

This is today so far

WU 06.56
E 07.05
A 06.56 1,16
S 08.12-09.53 1,40h

E 10.00
A 09.53 1,13
S 11.05-12.35 1,30h

E 12.46
A 12.35 1,15
S 13.50-14.50 1h

E 15.00
A 14.50 1,35
S 16.25-


Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Katet on April 12, 2019, 03:31:00 am
Honestly congratulations that you are getting the good sleep that you are. In the first 6 months so much changes and babies are so different.

It's super rare (I've never met a Mum who has) to get the day 'perfect' most (if not all) babies have an unsettled period of 2-6 hours in the day at around 3months old and it's often sometime between 4pm and midnight. (Although with my second it was Some babies want to suckle the whole time, others it's just cuddling, but mostly it's just something they grow out of.

Both my boys didn't ever do a 12 hour night. So I'd put in an extra catnap and a later bedtime rather than an early bedtime after a short nap
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Aimi on April 12, 2019, 12:53:01 pm
Thank you for your reply! It's always nice to hear that everything is normal.. :) the problem is I would LIKE her to do a catnap and later bedtime but it doesn't work, she just doesn't fall asleep at that time of the day, we just end up using the whole n
ap time trying to get her to sleep and then having to give up, she'll dose off for a few minutes and then wake right back up again. I was wondering if the atime was off to cause this but maybe it's just the way it is..🙄 yesterday it took almost 2 hours to get her to sleep at bedtime.. 😕
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Katet on April 12, 2019, 22:37:51 pm
It’s a 50/50 call, it could be the A time, that needs playing with or it could be the way it is, but late in the day it’s pretty much trial and error. As you will be finding, our little babies don’t tread the books and while they might follow the books 70% of the time, they keep us on our toes the rest of the time.
From a BTDT, curve balls from our little ones are vital to help us as the get older, the more we as parents learn to navigate the rocky areas the better our skill sets are later. The longer I parent the more I think we are set up to fail by a lot of ‘babies should’ rather than ‘babies do’
Sometimes I feel like parenting is a list of 20 ideals, but we are only given 6 of them the rest we spend hours trying to find how we can get check them off... only to have suddenly realised we survived 7 years of early waking or suddenly our baby is 1 year old. So yes it may take 2 hours to get a sleep, but ‘this too will pass” and ‘The happier when’ isn’t related to if you get her to sleep, but more ‘we all cope with this time best when we go for a walk or... “ so let’s do that if she won’t sleep.
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Aimi on April 13, 2019, 07:25:29 am
I'm fine with the way things are as long as it's not because of something I'm doing wrong or not doing, I just want to know I've done everything I can to be a good parent and meet all her needs. If I can't do anything else I don't have to feel like a bad mom 😏 thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post!
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Katet on April 13, 2019, 09:24:46 am
Parents will always make mistakes, you'll always have 20/20 vision in hindsight. Good parenting doesn't come from getting it right or not doing it wrong it comes from being there when it gets hard, from listening and trying and acceptance that it's a journey of love. A Baby who sleeps well isn't the sign of a good parent... Because from experience the best sleeper in my mothers group got their by leaving him to cry and as a teen he's been suspended from school... Good parenting is accepting that you will never be able to control another person, rather it's a team effort to grow together in comfortable relationship of love and trust.
When they are so young really it's not about 'good' sleep but the comfort you give when they don't sleep that makes you a great parent,as let's face it when life is hard it's the love we get that shows us who we can trust.
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Aimi on April 13, 2019, 13:08:10 pm
Got tears in my eyes reading that..thanks.
I'm constantly struggeling feeling like a good enough parent with not having enough patience with my three-year old and now dividing my attention between them when there's two..I wish I could just relax about it but it's hard to change...🙄 it always makes me feel better to hear about others who're in the same boat though, my parents and in-laws don't understand why we can't just take the stroller and go anywhere and do anything with a baby, our onesjust dont work like that...😏
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: DaniRose on April 14, 2019, 17:00:16 pm
I really needed to read this thread. I have a 13 week old and a three year old as well and am struggling with the same emotions and issues navigating sleep. Like you, I don’t expect everything to be perfect, but I spend so much time trying to make sure I am doing the right thing to feel I have done my best. I obsess over my son’s sleep- and he sleeps great at night! But naps are usually very short and I have to wear him to get some more sleep out of him (wearing him as I write this). I never know if I have him on an appropriate schedule and I’m sure by the time I figure it out it will need to change  :P 
The cat nap is the hardest for us too- I usually end up just wearing him for it.
My take away from this thread is to trust my gut and enjoy these times.  Thank you for sharing. 
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Katet on April 14, 2019, 22:06:21 pm
Absolutely enjoy as number 1. I have a 15yo and a 13yo and If you asked me how I'd parent now, I know Id let my babies sleep in a sling more, I'd worry more about getting me eldest out and about and less about sleeping for the baby as honestly it's such a small part of life. Sadly we live in a society that measures tangibles, a baby sleeping through the night is a good thing yes...but in hindsight I'm glad I got so many curved balls from my boys (horrible sleepers for different reasons) as It's really taught me to look at a bigger picture.
One thing I realised, which may or may not be true for others) is often we hide our anxiety in 'it will be easier when...,'  What can I do to make it how I need it rather than  looking at it and saying, so he/she isn't going sleep, how do I change my mindset.
We live in a society that is focused on 'tick a box' where as I think being a parent it's more about having plans 1-10. So toddler won't put shoes on/baby won't catnap, how can I make them, it becomes,  is it a safety issue or can they go bare foot/ baby is less upset if I let them suckle so I will, ok toddler eats toast for dinner and so do I, but tomorrow is another day, kind of stuff.
Title: Re: 10 weeks fights needed catnap
Post by: Aimi on April 15, 2019, 09:58:07 am
It's good to know I'm not alone obsessing over sleep and doing the right thing! But at the same time it's not something to wish on others... 🙄 I'm definately a much more relaxed parent this time round (First time I was chained to the sofa for several months with baby nursing and sleeping and me not daring to move..) but I think my biggest struggle now is the balance between the two childrens needs when I'm alone with them. If I don't protect the babys sleep she will fuss and cry all night and then I have less time with the three year old who also really doesn't like it when the baby cries. My friend said her goal was that everbody was alive when the day was over but I just can't seem to switch of completely from worrying and obsessing and I'm definitely thinking it will get easier when...🙂 oh well, doing the best I can!