BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: Halle'smama on July 31, 2005, 02:20:27 am
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HI,
My 17 month old seems to be on a good routine. However....to get her to sleep is a whole other issue....she always has a bottle before she sleeps so sometimes she falls asleep with her bottle and then I put her in her crib. When she does not fall asleep with her bottle I rock her for a few minutes and then put her in her crib awake and I go to the far end of her room by the door and I wait for her to fall asleep. She usually peeks up to make sure I am still there and then she generally falls asleep anywhere from 10-20 minutes (sometimes longer) then I sneak out of the room.
If I try to leave the room while she is still semi awake and she hears me leave she cries and I immediately go back in and wait until she is fully asleep before I leave again.
I have read both of the baby whisperer books and I still have questions about the entire process.
I know that I have to now leave the room while she is awake in order for her to fall asleep entirely on her own but my question is what exactly do I do once I put her in her crib and leave the room and she starts to cry.
1. how long do I wait before I go back in?
2. where do I stand in relation to her crib?
3. when do I leave again etc.......
I need the step by step instructions before I make this commitment so that I can change this habit.....
please help.....
Halle's mom
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Henry was rocked completely to sleep until about 3 weeks ago. Now he goes into his crib awake, I leave the room, and he goes to sleep on his own.
What worked for me (on recommendation from several of the wonderful people here!) was to put him in his crib, tell him night-night and Mama loves him, then leave the room. He would stand and cry. I would count slowly to 5 or 10, go back in, lay him down and leave. If he stopped crying during the count but then started back up again, I would start the count over. I did it over and over again until he stopped crying then I DID NOT GO BACK IN! If he was awake at that point but calm in his crib, I knew he would cry if he saw me so I stayed out!
The biggest thing is to be consistent. Don't waiver. If you pick this method, don't stay in the room sometimes when she stops crying. I did that with Henry, which made him think it was time to play so when I left the room after that it was starting all over.
Lay her down and leave the room, but reenter fairly quickly if she's crying so she knows that you're there for her if she needs you but that she has to fall asleep on her own.
Does this all make sense? Let me know if you have any questions and keep us informed how you get on. This site is a great support network when you're going through the "training".
Good luck!
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I may be off base on what you are trying to do here since I used a method simiar, but not exactly like Tracy's, but you may want to try this at some point.
DS1 started to have sleep (separation anxiety?) issues about the time he turned 2; all of the sudden, I found myself rocking him to sleep, and having the same putting him in and waking up to freak out issues. I was 7 months preggo at the time and it was NOT working out for me.
What I did was stay in the room, right by the bed (crib) until he fell alseep. For 3-5 nights (each night, the protesting and whining got better, I think I was there for at least an hour the first time, he cried 40 minutes of it). Then I moved to the middle of the room, 3-5 nights, then by the door. I always stayed until I knew he was asleep. I sat in a chair and did not move, did not talk to him, just sometimes shhhh if he was getting too riled up. Next, to the hall, but in the doorway so he could still see me. And so on and so on. We got stalled in the hall and had to come back to the doorway, but now I have a chair, halfway down the hall, that he THINKS I sit in while he goes to sleep. (his door is shut) At night after kisses he says, "Mommy go to special spot in hallway." I always stay upstairs for 20 minutes or so in case he needs me (we are getting to that stalling stage, a cup of water, cover me up, etc.)- I fold laundry or clean something if I have time.
Hope that may help a bit...
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I think I have it now and am ready to try....one more question though....when applying this to her afternoon nap how long should I let the process go on for if she resists and struggles? For example, should I try this for an hour tops...or wait it out further...
Thanks for the helpful advice.....I am confident now and will get over this hurdle.
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Personally, my thought is consistency all across the board, naps included. When Tyler's gone through his bouts of sep anx, we use the same approach no matter what time of day. We do basically the same thing Sarah (Henry's Mama) does. If we have to spend all of nap time doing it, that's just the way it is. He's never skipped an entire nap (knock on wood), but if he did, it would just be an early to bed night...and tomorrow's another day! He's survived on 1 nap of 20 minutes more than once, and he isn't pleasant the rest of the day, but it brings us 1 step closer to the end result!
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Well, I think we have it...now that I have said that all heck will break loose. We have had five successfull nights of putting her in her crib awake and leaving the room. Surprisingly, she was fine...Yesterday I tried her for her first nap and she went down without a hitch....she went into her crib awake and I left the room - probably before she even had the chance to see me leave. She eventually saw that I was gone but she continued to play and amuse herself and then fell asleep a short while later for a nice long nap of 2.5 hours. (she was very tired)
We'll see how the rest of the week plays out and I am expecting some disruptions at times, but I have to say that this is nice.
It has been very helpful to process this with others as I feel that it gave me the confidence that I needed to put my plan into action.
Thanks for your suggestions.....
I will contine to post as needed...
Halle's mama