BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: Khyan & Sahria's mum on August 28, 2005, 07:30:34 am
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I am wanting to start sleep training tonight but I'm not sure how I should be undertaking this task !
Khyan is 16mths old and has been cuddled till drowsy and then in the cot & patted till mostly asleep.
So....
Should I just straight in with PU/PD or something similar like Walk in/walk out.
OR
Should I be slowly adapting how we go to sleep step by step every couple of days.
It's confusing as to which way we should go as Tracy seems to talk about both ways in her books.
Please any advice that you have would be greatly appreciated.
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Hi,
Have a 14month old dd and hoping to start the sleeping independently thing with her; but unsure about where to start. Tracy's latest book talks about PD for toddlers - does that mean skipping the PU? PU PD quickly became a game last night (as much as I avoided eye contact etc); so do I just put her down once, and then stay in the room (on mattress or in chair) until she falls asleep - ignoring the crying and talking??
Hope there is someone who can help!
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I was going to do it slowly one step at a time with Henry's sleep training but he wouldn't settle with me in the room so I had to cut to the chase and do walk out/walk in almost immediately.
I think your answer will depend on your baby's temperment - if he'll settle with you in the room, do it one step at a time; if not, do it all at once. Your answer will also depend on your temperment - I was more upset about Henry playing with me while I was in the room than I was about him crying when I did walk out/walk in so that's what I chose to do.
HTH at least somewhat. Good luck whatever you decide to do!
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Hello everyone. It is so good to have friends out there in a similar situation! My 15-month old Joseph is just the light of my life. We have been struggling with the sleep issue for a loooonnnnnggg time. Never thought we'd still be waking up 3 or 4 times a night at 15 months. Luckily I found Tracy's book last week. We have just started PU/PD and it is WORKING! The first night was really hard. Took at least an hour (and sometimes 2 hours) of PU/PD each time he woke. I was worried for him and worried for us. But I just kept telling him that we were learning something new and that he's a superstar and he could do it. I did the PU and PD...PD only didn't seem to work for him. And I talked to his stuffed animals about going to sleep. Strangely, that seemed to help. I also sat by the crib when he did go down (still awake). It helped to let him play with my hair. By the second and third night, he was already waking fewer times. And it continues to get easier to put him down at night. We are not out of the woods by any means. But I hope this posting helps you feel more optimistc as you start. I really didn't think I'd see any improvement for awhile, so each day that gets a little easier feels like a huge milestone! I am also trying not to BF for the night wakings, which is new. I'd love to hear how all of you are doing.
Carolyn
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Well, I went in boots and all last Friday night, and it didn't go the best....
Sat in teh rocking chair in her room and pretended to sleep after the bedtime routine - cuddle, song and rock, then into cot. She went to sleep by herself in her cot after about 20 minutes of playing and talking; woke up when I left the room, went back to sleep after another 20minutes.
From then (about 9pm by this stage) she slept until 1am, when she woke up screaming and stood up in her cot. So, picked her up to comfort, calmed her and put her down. Did the put down thing when she stood up (every time!) for the next hour or so. The she just screamed while sitting down, so I just pretended to sleep again. Until at 3am she had a bit of a vomit - an awful lot of phlegm which she must have swallowed in the screaming and crying.
So, of course, I felt terrible and guilty and had to rescue her and clean us both up (pyjama changes all round) and then took her to our bed and fed her to sleep.
Not great, but better than previsouly - she hadn't been sleeping until 11.30-12 midnight, so that improved. And whenever she woke up in the past we'd just brought her to bed and bf her to sleep - bad, but when we're both working fulltime it was the only way we could see to make it through.
So, Saturday night and last night, she went to sleep in dad's arms (like usual), and went to bed at 7.30ish; a couple of wakes but rocked to sleep at 10ish, then at 1am couldn't be comforted by me (!), so went to sleep after about 5 minutes watching tv with dad.
Positives: no feed between pre-bedtime and 4am the last two nights - and we're pretty sure we can stretch that out so she'll not be bfing between 7pm and 6am, which is one huge goal.
BUT still waking several times a night at this stage, partially because she's expecting food, but I'm sure it's also her expecting comfort.
Since we both work, weekends are the besttime for us to make changes, so assuming we can maintain the no feed overnight during this week (and possibly stretch it out to no feed before 6am which would be an okay wake up time for us), then my plan is for this weekend to work on the going to sleep and staying asleep. Once the feeding is nolonger and issue, hopefully sleep will be easier and we'll not have to deal with the 3am vomits and guilts!
So, thanks for the advice - it does depend on baby's temperament. And my little girl couldn't handle it all at once, so we'll take baby steps and just try to keep them going forward!
More advice always welcome!
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Hey bobbie-jane
I understand where you are coming from as you feel terrible when they get themselves so upset that they vomit :cry:
However try not to let it stop you from giving your LO the wonderful gift of independent sleeping.
I think that your plan sounds good with the stopping night feedings this week and then tackling night wakings next weekend.
No matter how you look at it you will be in for some really tough times whilst teaching her.
I think that when it comes to the vomiting if you can tell that she is getting herself so upset that things are going that way that I would pick her up and calm her ONLY TILL SHE IS CALM and then put her back into the cot and continue the way that you have been going.
However saying this I must admit that on times where I have done this we sometimes get it right and other times I either end up wearing most of the vomit or he gets himself more upset when put into the cot and then I have a bigger situation.
Another possibility for you would be the gentle slow approach, with one step at time - however it does mean that it will go on for a while and I'm not sure how you will cope with working too.
Does she go into her cot drowsy and then can be patted till asleep? If not maybe you could work on this and then slowly adapt it till she no longer needs you to go to sleep.
Well now I have babbled and probably completely confused you so hopefully others will have some advice for you too
Hang in there
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Hi Michaela,
Thanks so much for the advice and support. Last night was bad again - went to sleep fine at 7pm, but was awake at 9pm and would sleep briefly, but not properly (so woke every 20minutes or so to scream) until 1am. Worst night ever. My poor husband and I took turns - I'd calm her and put her down, then he'd do the next one. Don't think anyone got much sleep. But eventually she went to sleep without being fed. Despite both of us having moments of weakness, we didn't let her feed.
Worst thing is that I know it's just a comfort thing - if we offer breastmilk (or formula or cows milk) in a bottle, she won't have it so it really is just the comfort of the breast and the cuddles.
After all that, she didn't wake until 6am, so no feeds between 7pm and 6am which is the goal!
Will see how we go tonight - am hoping that she'll get there slowly, realising that she can't have the breast for comfort, but she can have a cuddle.... and then maybe one day she'll realise that a cuddle isn't worth waking up for!
I'm pretty sure it's not that she doesn't get enough of me during the day either - from 4.30pm until she goes to bed at 7-7.30 she's with me constantly. We cook dinner together, I give her a bath, I play with her and then we read books together. But let me know if you think this is the problem - any suggestions on how to fit in more time in the day would be welcome!
As for how she goes down, varies with the day and time. Like last night she was drowsy but awake when I put her down and she just looked so grateful to be finally in her cot and going to sleep, she rolled onto her side and cuddled into the blankets.... Very cute, by the way!
Anyway, will let you know how we go tonight....
Thanks again,
Bobbie-Jane
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I don't think it would be that she doesn't get enough time with you at all !
It does sound like she is waking for the comfort of BF so hopefully once that is gone that things will get better. By the way good for you and DH for sticking to your guns last night :D
The only other thing that I would wonder is whether she is overtired. Could you post what your day looks like and maybe that will give us some more insight
Good luck for tonight
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Ah yes, her day. Well, my sister-in-law looks after her while we're at work, and while this is generally great it has its issues. Unlike some of the more awful childcare places I visited, dd is never left to cry it out, which is really important to me.
But unfortunately, sister-in-law doesn't believe in routine or structure for her own kids, so it is a weekly battle to try to enforce some sort of routine for dd.
Ideal day looks as follows:
6am BF
7.30 cereal
8.30 toast (this is so she has cereal with me, but then still eats with her cousins because they generally get up and have breakfast after 8am when I drop her off)
10.30 snack
11am nap, hopefully until 1pm, usually until about 12.20pm
12.30-1pm Lunch
2.30-3pm Snack
4.30pm I pick her up and we have another little snack.
5.30pm dinner
then bath, BF, books and bed around 7-7.30 depending on how tired she is.
This does vary hugely though - sometimes she still needs a morning sleep at 10am, sometimes she won't even look like sleeping until 1pm.
Sister-in-law basically lets the kids decide when they are tired by waiting for them to sleep, so it is a battle with her to say "put her down for a sleep whether she looks like she's ready or not"; reason being on the 3 days/week when she's with me she pretty much can follow the schedule and have one sleep in the middle of hte day.
And, I know her day sleep isn't long, but she's never been a good sleeper. Even at 6 weeks she was only having 2 naps per day, of about 1 hour each.... If she sleeps for 2 hours she wakes a happy baby, but if it's less then she wakes grumpy and can't be persuaded to sleep again.
Anyway, will fight the battle again tonight and see how it goes....
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Hi,
Last night was much better. No sleep until 8pm, but then a couple of cries (phantom cries I think) but no opening the eyes so no need to do anything other than stand in the doorway and "ssh" for a little while.
Until 1am, when I made my husband get up to her - he picked her up and walked towards the loungeroom and says that she knew what was ocming, so just settled down to sleep almost straight away. And no waking after that until 5am, which is fine for us!
So, hopefully we can have another couple of nights like that (still no feeding between 8pm and 5am), with no screaming, and then we'll start to work on the independent sleep thing.
Mind you, I think there might be teeth coming through - molars or eyeteeth??
But still, thanks for all the good wishes... fingers crossed!
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I did my first post on 18th July (help I'm desperate for sleep'.)There were lots of ideas but the best one was pu/pd while in and out.
This is what I did.
When she was crying Lay her down,go out and shut door,count to 10,go back in,lay her down,go out and shut the door,count to 10,go back in and continue until she stops crying.
Now,Emily was the clingiest child who cried constantly for the moment she was born.It used to take 3-4 hours to put her to bed.
The first night was an amazing 1 hour :lol: :lol: .Then progressively got better.SHe is great going to bed now.Sometimes if she's overtired it may take up to 3 MINUTES for her to stop crying.
It has changed my life so much,Emily is happier during the day and less clingy.
If she wakes up during the night I do exactly the same thing,sometimes it takes a bit longer.Although have just realised she hates the dark so we have fairy lights up at her curtains.
I would recommend anyone having problems to try this for at leat 2 weeks
I left it far too long as she started at about 15 months.
Good luck
Sarah