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SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: Carys' mom on May 02, 2006, 20:27:40 pm
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Hi,
My 14 mo dd has always been challenging when it comes to sleep, but lately it has been awful. I know part of it is separation anxiety, and I think part teething, but for the last few days she screams/cries unrelentingly when I try to put her down for a nap. She does not want to sleep in her bed - she just wants to be with me on my lap. I tried staying in the room with her laying down on the floor next to her crib, but all she does is stand up and scream and cry and throws her stuffed animals (including her lovey) out of the crib at me. I throw them back in and don't say anything, but she goes on and on doing the same thing. So next, I tried the walk in/walk out, each time putting her animals back in the crib and not saying anything. She just would not give up. So I finally gave up and decided to take a break. I brought her downstairs to give her some water (which she wouldn't accept) and we sat in the easychair for a few minutes. She quickly started to fall asleep on my lap, so I took her upstairs and put her in her crib. She cried at first and then quickly went to sleep. I can't take battling it out like this every day - it's driving me crazy! :'(
Does anyone have any other ideas on what I could do? She is now down to one nap, and definitely still needs it. Today she finally went down at 2:55pm. We usually try to shoot for somewhere between 11:30am and 1pm to start the nap, depending on how tired she seems.
By the way, her nighttime sleep has been bad too the last couple nights (was awake from about 4am to 6am this morning on and off last night, and woke several times the night before crying).
Help!!!
Thanks...
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I would suggest taking her to the doctor. Henry sleeps poorly when he's on the verge of illness or actually sick. She may have an ear infection with the only symptom being the poor sleep.
If she isn't sick, I would suggest picking a method and sticking with it. If you're going to do walk out/walk in, start off with that and do it until she falls asleep. If you're going to stay in the room with her, which is fine BTW, start off with that and do it until she falls asleep.
Oh - have you tried giving her paid meds before her nap and/or before bed and/or at night wakings? That might help if she has teething pain and if she actually does have some illness brewing.
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We went through something similar with Margot for a time. Even though her nap was at the same time every day she would resist going upstairs, resist going in the crib and scream blue murder if we tried to leave the room. What seemed to help although she may have just grown out of it was to say it's time for nap and if she said no not to push her but then say it again and she would eventually come upstairs and be fine. She would have to walk up tho--no being carried. Then upstairs we would talk about how it was time for nap that after she had a nice nap we would pick up her sister from school, or go grocery shopping or whatever. No tears, orr tantrums. The other thing is the 11:30 nap time may be too early for her, she may be ready to have her nap pushed back a bit, I think that was part of the problem with my dd. So I'd step back a bit. At this age they are starting to assert their independence a bit so if you can kind of steer them instead of trying to make them do something it seems to work better. I know, a bit like herding cats...
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Thank you for the replies - it helps to know someone is listening. I'm pretty sure it's her molars that are bugging her. Her upper first year molars are working on popping through. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have an ear infection. She doesn't have a fever, and is pretty much OK during the day other than going down for naps. I think I will try the pain meds as suggested though. We give them to her at night, but haven't been during the day. Imsmum - I think you're right about pushing her nap back to closer to 1pm. I'll try that too.
Thanks for all the help!
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Melanie--I just noticed that you Carys is spirited--so is my Margot I really did find I had to change how I "handled" Margot around that age--no more being baby, she was a big girl now! You may already being giving Carys the opportunity to be more independent, you know warning her about changes in activity but giving her the opportunity to make the change herself when she was ready, talking to her about what ws going on--and I really found it made a world of difference. ps. the later nap for us also helped lengthen it--yea!
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Hi again imsmum,
Thanks for the suggestion. She's definitely asserting her independence lately. She refused to take a nap at all today - screamed bloody murder. It was a hideous afternoon. The weird thing is she doesn't seem that tired. She couldn't be going to NO naps already, right?? I don't think I could handle that yet! :o
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Hi Melanie! I'm sorry to hear that Carys isn't going down for her naps. :( I had problems with Foti's sleep last week as well. I'm pretty sure it was due, in part, to teething but also I believe he was sick. I would go with your instinct on this - I've heard the molars coming in are a bear! That, plus your little girl is growing up! But, if I were you, I would insist on that nap for a while. She's still pretty young.
I think the suggestions given were good ones, esp the pain meds for the teething and about being consistent with how you deal with her naps. That way she knows you're serious. I'll also add that, instead of putting the toys back in the crib, you either leave them on the floor or put them to the side instead of putting them back in the crib.
Good luck!!
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Hi Georgia,
Thanks for your ideas. Well, yesterday we battled it out for a while, but I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to take her for a walk. We made it about half a block and she started throwing a tantrum because she didn't want to be in the stroller. (This has never happened before.) So, we went back home, and she sat on my lap and fell asleep for TWO HOURS! So I know she still needs her naps. She fought going to bed last night too with dh.
I've been giving the pain meds as suggested about an hour before I try to put her down, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. When she threw her animals out, I didn't put them back in, too. She still kept screaming and crying. My only problem is being consistent. I try staying in the room and laying next to her crib, but I don't have much stamina when it comes to listening to her crying. I can't stand it. So I guess I'll have to go with walk in/walk out. Can someone explain exactly how I should do this (how long to stay in the room when I walk in, etc.)?
Thanks...
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I think walk in/walk out will be a good way of handling it. Carys has obviously figured out that if she is enough of a tyrant you will take her downstairs and she can sleep with you in the easy chair.
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Hey Melanie -
Walk out/walk in is relatively simple.
Do your bedtime or nap routine
Lay her down in her crib
Tell her night-night
Walk out
When she cries (and she will), count to 5/10/15 seconds
Walk in
Lay her down and comfort her briefly if you want to - I usually just rub Henry's forehead for a second
Walk out
Count
Walk in
Lay her down
Walk out
Count
Walk in
Lay her down
Walk out
etc.etc.etc.
If she stops crying during your count, DO NOT GO IN THE ROOM. If she starts crying again, start your count over and go from there.
I would only stay in the room a few seconds. Henry always gets really mad if I leave after staying too long.
Also, if you're going to do this, you need to stick with it. Do not do it for 45 minutes and then take her to the chair to sleep. That will teach her that if she cries long enough, she'll get what she wants. The next time she'll cry that much and longer trying to get you to give in again.
Good luck and post with your progress. Its hard but it really does work.
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Thanks for the description of walk in/walk out. As I write this, dh is trying to put dd to bed using our other method - staying in the room and lying by the crib. It's not working tonight. She will not lie down. So I think we are going to have to resort to wi/wo. When is this behavior ever going to end? :'( :'(
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I have good news to report :). My dh did walk in/walk out last night with Carys, and she went to sleep after 30 minutes. (I was dreading that it would take hours.) And today when I put her down for her nap, I used walk in/walk out, and it only took 10 minutes! I'm in shock. I'm sure this isn't the end of our sleep challenges with dd, but I sure feel better about it. Thanks everyone.
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Yeah!!! Keep up the good work!!!
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I was going to ask how things were coming along. Great to hear that things are looking up!
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Last night went OK, but was a bit different. It was kind of weird. She would lay down and be quiet for a couple minutes and then start crying. She usually continuously cries. But dh continued with wi/wo, and it worked. I think it took about the same as the night before - maybe a half hour. Last night was brutal though with multiple night wakings because she's got her upper two molars working their way through. None of us got much sleep last night. She seems to be catching on with wi/wo though, so that's good. We'll see how naptime goes today.
Thanks...