BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: taylorashleysmom on June 04, 2006, 17:55:09 pm
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Our sleep problems started when we moved into our new house. Our oldest DD Taylor is 3 years and 7 months old - we had her going to bed on her own. She had a lot of sleep problems when she was younger, but they ended when she was about 9 months old. Our younger DD Ashley is 21 months old. She was in our room in our apartment in her crib until we moved about 7 months ago. I was able to put her to sleep in her crib and leave and she would put herself to sleep. When we moved it was into a 2 bedroom house. Now both are DD's are in the same room and that's when the sleep problems started. Taylor needs a nightlight to sleep - Ashley needs it completely dark. So we started to stay in the room with the girls because we had no night light for Taylor. We stay in the room with both girls until they fall asleep. One of us is by Ashley's crib the other one lays with Taylor. Taylor just gave up her afternoon nap so she sleeps through the night no problem. Ashley has on and off for the past 7 months gone through spurts of night wakings that last from 2 - 3 hours. One day I was up from 2:00 AM because by the time I got Ashley back to sleep Taylor was up. Besides being sleep deprived and cranky my husband and I feel like we have no time for ourselves. I'm sorry to ramble I just thought I should give background to the problem. I started to split up their bedtimes. We still lay with Taylor since she can get out of bed. I know that has to change. I was kind of hoping to stick it out until Ashley was older and they could climb into bed with each other for comfort, but I don't think we can last. I've come on this site various times looking for advice. My sister-in-law gave me Tracy's book when I was pregnant with Taylor.
Do you think that I can do the wo/wi with my girls?
Thank you for any help you can give me - I'm desperate.
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I would say yes, you can do walk out/walk in with your girls but you'll have to tag team them.
When Taylor gets out of bed, if she comes out of her room, put her back into bed without saying anything. When Ashley cries when you leave the room, count to 10, go in, lay her down and leave again. The tag teaming comes in if Taylor walks out at the same time that one of you was going in to Ashley. The one going to Ashley, go to Ashley. The one not going to Ashley, deal with Taylor. Or you could do that the one going in to Ashley also takes Taylor back to bed. However you want to work it out, I think it can be done.
It may take a little longer because there are two of them - but then again, they may figure out that if they're quiet, they can talk to each other before they go to sleep, in which case it may take less time than just one.
HTH!
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Taylor is going to be tough. She starts to scream as soon as we try to leave the room. Do you think we should deal with each individually? Taylor is usually more tired than Ashley since she started to give up her afternoon nap. I know that Ashley can put herself to sleep because she goes down for her nap without any help from me. I put her in her crib kiss her and say the same thing to her everytime she goes to bed - like Tracy suggested in her book. I don't know why bedtime is so different. Sometimes when we put them down separately she will go down with no help - I just have to make sure that she is tired. Since she's up at night her sleep is really off. Even when she goes to sleep with no help from me she does sometimes wake at night.
Thank you so much for all of your help - last night I just hit the point where after I finally got her to sleep at 3:30AM I just sat and cried. :(
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Ok, tonight was the first night that we tried to wo/wi method. I have to admit that I threw in a bribe to my older DD Taylor. She gets this Barbie doll that she wants if she starts to sleep on her own. As soon as we left the room Ashley started screaming - Taylor was cute she tried to sing to her. Since Ashley was calling for her Daddy I had him also go in and put her down just so she would know we were both going to do the same thing. After 10 - 15 minutes she started to climb out of her crib, when she realized I just put her back in she climbed in bed with Taylor. That lasted about 15 - 20 minutes before they started to come out of the room. Taylor was also talking like crazy, but she does that to us too. So I put Ashley back in her crib.
I found that when I went in when she was crying but lying down she got completely hysterical like when we first started. So I started to go in after longer periods of time 30 - 40 seconds since I couldn't tell if she was standing or not. In the meantime Taylor had fallen asleep. A few months after they started sharing a room she started to be able to sleep through Ashley's crying.
All in all it took about 1 hour to get them both down. That's what it usually takes, but we didn't have to stay in the room.
We'll see what happens with the night wakings.
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It sounds like your first night wasn't that bad. An hour isn't that bad - especially considering that's how long it would normally take AND you weren't in the room.
Be prepared for a setback tonight - for whatever reason, the second night is usually worse than the first. Keep up the good work and keep us posted!
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The night waking went fairly well. Ashley was only up for 20 minutes, but ohh did she scream when she found out I was doing the same wo/wi with her. She screamed at the top of her lungs for 3 of my walk in's. I would have normally taken her out of her crib for screaming that loud at of fear of waking Taylor. Luckily, Taylor only stirred.
Tonight is much worse for Taylor - she didn't want us to leave at all. Right now we're in the middle of it - Taylor has climbed out of her bed and is hiding behind the rocker in her room. Ashley has settled down after on about 15 minutes, but I'm scared that when Taylor comes out Ashley will start all over again. We'll see.
Thanks for all your help.
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Day 2 - like I posted last night Ashley went down after only about 15 min. She was awake and I could hear her but she wasn't crying. After about 45 minutes she started to ask for her drink. She had thrown it out of her crib when she was upset. I went in and gave her the drink she said thank you and laid down. Taylor had eventually climbed into bed and was sleeping when I went in to give Ashley her drink. We had them to bed by 8:30 - :)
Ashley woke around 1:15 and although it only took about 15 minutes to get her back down again she screamed like crazy. Taylor did wake this time, but luckily stayed in bed and went back to sleep.
I think I need to turn down their night light before I go to bed. I'll see if that helps tonight. :)
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Sounds like you're doing a great job!!!
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Day 3 - Now Ashley is pretty good - Taylor is very upset. I kind of figured this would happen. Now that I don't have to enter the room every 10 seconds for Ashley Taylor is upset. She's screaming and crying - so Ashley starts crying. I feel so bad because she's asking for us to lay with her and we're not doing it. She did eventually fall asleep after about 40 minutes of taking her back to bed, but we had to talk to her. We had to reassure her that we're still here if she needs us. When we didn't say anything she got even more upset. I know that Taylor was worse because she was overtired. She just started to give up her afternoon nap. So we're going to try to push up her bedtime. We'll start putting her to bed at 7:00 tonight instead of 8:00.
On a good note - Ashley slept through the night :)
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Set backs can be expected. It sounds like you handled it very well.
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Last night with Taylor was a little better. At least she didn't cry, but she says that she's scared and I hate just leaving her in the room if she really is afraid. We have a night light. Last night she climbed into Ashley's crib. The only problem seems to be that they fight when they're in their room together. If they just played I wouldn't mind so much. It took about 1 1/2 hours to get them down. Ashley was still awake, but she was content in her crib. Also, Taylor refused to get into bed when we were leaving so we left her on the floor - is that ok or should we make sure she's in bed?
Unfortunately, Ashley woke at 1:45 AM hysterical like we had never done the wi/wo. She was screaming and crying and didn't go back down until after 3 in the morning. She hasn't been this upset in awhile.
We'll see what happens tonight.
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I'll say it again - set backs can be expected. It sounds like you're doing a great job.
As for leaving Taylor on the floor, that's fine. I know a lot of kids actually fall asleep on their floor. She'll eventually figure out that she's much more comfortable sleeping in her bed and will stop refusing. Either that or she'll sleep on the floor. It won't hurt her.
Keep up the good work and keep us posted!
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Well last night wasn't that bad. Only had to go back in the room once for Taylor. I feel like Ashley really has gotten the hang of it - Taylor is taking a little longer. Ashley gets upset when she see's us come in the room for Taylor, but it's getting better.
I hate to jinx myself but 2 nights in a row with no night wakings from Ashley :)
Thank your for all of your help and support I feel like we're on our way - not perfect yet, but much better than it was. Thank you so much ! :)
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Taylor is older and more set in her ways - as much as a 3.5 year old can be! ;) It makes sense that it would take her a little longer.
Congratulations on a job well done!! Life is so much better when you're well rested.