BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: jay&danny'smummy on June 13, 2006, 21:17:23 pm
-
Well where do I start...Ds has never been a good sleeper at night :(, we had a good couple of months a while back where he only woke maybe once a night but that has all gone out the window ::)
He has had a few teething episodes lately, but they seem to have past. He has also been unsettled because Dp was away in hospital (back now). His routine has been moved recently about as my parents have been helping out while im at work, as Dp cant be left along with ds at the moment.
The main problems are when we put him down at bedtime he won't settle (he used to no problems) he stands straight up crying, gets even worse if you try and leave. Normally end up picking him up and tying to settle him or stroking his face till he falls asleep but someone is normally with him until he drifts off. Night wakings tend to follow the same pattern in how we deal with them. If things get to bad he sometimes comes into our bed :-[ Where I work pretty much full time it has come down to whatever we can do to get sleep at the movement :-[. He is also waking any time between 4.30-6am at the moment which is not helping matters ::)
His routine is:
wake - 4.30-6am
bottle - between 6-6.30am
breakfast - between 7-8.30am
snack - 10ish
nap - goes down anytime from 10.30-12 for 1-2.25 hours
lunch - 12-12.30
snack- 3ish
tea - 5-5.30
try and give bath every night not always possible at the moment
sleep - 6.30-7
The times all depend on what time he wakes up in the morning.
I will be so grateful for your advice, I am so tired and I feel sad that I have lost my way with ds routine at the moment :'(
-
A couple of things jump out at me -
How long has he been on one nap? It seems like his nap is too late for a morning nap but too early to be his only nap of the day. I completely understand the timing of it what with him waking so early but its timing needs to be tweaked.
Early wakings are often caused by overtiredness and/or being unable to get himself back to sleep. I think in his case its "and". With early wakings and the timing of his nap, he should be going to bed EARLY - I'm talking 6-6:30pm. Early to bed really can lead to later wake times.
He also needs to learn how to go to sleep independently. Once he learns how to go to sleep on his own, the night wakings (and hopefully early wakings) should work themselves out. Henry used to wake early - 5am or so - and would be awake multiple times per night for hours at a time. This was all caused because he didn't know how to get himself to sleep. Once he learned how to go to sleep, he started sleeping in until 7am (Heaven!) and not waking during the night unless he's sick. You can use gradual withdrawal, toddler pd or walk out/walk in, whichever will work best for you. Whichever you choose, use the same method for all night wakings. And be consistent!!!
Keep us posted and good luck!
-
Thank you so much for your reply Sarah :), I felt much more positive after I read your reply.
He has been on one nap for over a month now. We were doing well with putting him down for his nap later, but the night wakings made it difficult. I totally agree about tweaking the nap times and the earlier bedtime it makes perfect sense...
So decided to go for it last night, changed his wind down routine slightly took him upstairs for quiet time in our bedroom after I got him ready for bed. Gave him his bottle about 6.10pm, he was sleepy so told him it was night night time etc laid him down in his cot. I decided to try the WI/WO method, so I waited outside his room, he started crying straight away, so waited 5 seconds and went in laid him down stroked his forehead a couple of times (Is this ok to do??) and walked out, kept on doing this... OMG :o did he get in a state, I've never seen ds this upset and angry :(. After about 20-30 minutes he finally went to sleep. Just a few questions though, I waited longer to go in when he was just moaning and fake crying-is this ok to do? Also if he is nearing sleep is it ok to stay with him as the walking out disturbs him again KWIM?
He did wake again at 3.30am and I did the WI/WO and he got into a state, but settled after about 15 minutes so I went back to bed and 10 minutes later the same again and then again but settled with in a 5 minutes and then slept till 5.20am and we got up after that.
Today he managed to stay up till 11am and slept till 1pm. Tonight I gave him his bottle at 6pm. Had to do the WI/WO for about 10 minutes and he went to sleep and has not woke up as yet.....Yeahhhhh ;D
Would really appreciate your comments :)
-
It really sounds like its going well for you! The first few times I did walk out/walk in with Henry he screamed like a banshee when I left the room - he was NOT happy!! But he got over it very quickly once he figured out I was serious.
Absolutely its fine to rub his forehead when you go in his room. I did that with Henry - its almost like saying I know this is hard but we can get through it!
Unless he is crying, I would stay out of his room. Moaning and fake crying do not constitute crying that requires walking in. That way he'll learn to settle on his own - which is the purpose of walk out/walk in.
I don't know that I would stay with him for him to fall asleep - but that would be my choice. It just seems like the ultimate goal is for him to be able to go to sleep completely independently without you in the room, which means you need to not be in the room while he falls asleep. Make sense? If he's settling, you walking out of the room may cause momentary upset, but he'll get the idea and will settle without you there.
Again, it sounds like you're doing a great job!! Keep up the good work - it should get easier and easier. Note though that sometimes a few nights into it there are setbacks - just be prepared and stick to your guns and you'll get past it.
Keep me posted!!!