BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: grahamsmama on September 24, 2006, 17:31:23 pm
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Dd is 22 months. I took away her paci on Wednesday night. I wasn't planning to until after the new baby came so she'd have a comfort item, but I could only find one and if she loses it in the middle of the night she wakes up and then I'd be in there searching for it. So, I thought, let's just give this a shot. She did ok-ish the first night. I cuddled her and she fell asleep, not happy but not all that upset. The next few nights have been awful though. She's up crying and screaming "No" over and over for literally hours in the middle of the night. She isn't specifically asking for her paci, she wants me. She wants me to cuddle with her and comfort her back to sleep. She just hasn't figured out how to self soothe and then I took away her prop. Even if dh goes in there she screams "no, no, mommy" over and over.
I've tried getting her to attach to another lovey, blankie or stuffed animal. We went to the toy store and let her pick whatever she wanted (a My little pony) and she loved it until bedtime, when she threw it out of her bed.
So, my question is...
Should I reintroduce her paci and wean her more slowly from it, allowing her to learn how to self soothe. Will she just figure it out eventually? How long will it take? What can I do to help her?
TIA
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It sounds like she's having a pretty hard time right now getting rid of her pacifier. I'd probably reintroduce it (and buy more so she has several in her crib at night so she can find them on her own) and wean her of it either more slowly or at a later time when she's ready. I'm a big wimp when it comes to the binky - Henry still has his and I have no intention to take it any time soon for fear of exactly what you're going through.
HTH.
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We were thinking about taking ds#1's away when he was 2 but we didn't quite feel ready & then I read something that said between 18mo & 3-4 it was a really hard thing to do as they have a very strong attachment to it - the author actually likened it to loosing a spouse in the emotional impact. So we haven't taken it away ds#1 was 3 in July... we are going to let him give it up on his terms.
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I don't know, she hasn't asked for it. But then she's still acting up, so I'm sure there has been an impact. I don't know if I should give it back if she doesn't specifically ask. But then, it would be better than her in my bed at 2am like the past two nights. I just wish she would attach to something else, you know?
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I feel for you! We just went through this process with my DD at 18 months. I was SOOOO nervous about it, because she sleeps great and honestly I think I was just attached to it as she was! We did it very slowly and for her at least it ended up being not a big deal!!!
Here's what we did. First we took it away during the wind-down before bed and naps. I would read and sing as usual, but without the binky. She wouldn't settle and kind of kept looking around for it, but I ignored that and kept on with the wind down then would give it to her right when I put her in the bed. Did this for about a week. Next we would go into her room when we went to bed (usually about 3 hours after she did) and took it away. This was easy if not in her mouth, but we still gently took it out of her mouth if it was. If she woke up, which she very rarely did, we gave it back and went on to bed. If we got it out of the bed successfully, but she woke in the night (about every 4th night) we again gave it back. We did this for 2 weeks. THEN we cut a pin size whole in the binky and gave it to her. Right away she didn't like it and handed it back to us, so we put her to bed without it. We did let her cry a little, but it only took 10 min and she was asleep and still had her two loveys, so we didn't feel like we stripped her of everything. We had a couple of more nights of crying for about 20 min (I know some of you are cringing), but she went to sleep and has done fine since. She does wake up occassionally in the night now though. I just go in and sing her a song and she usually goes right back down. Wakes in the night about once a week.
Anyway, maybe you can get some ideas from that! Let me know how it goes. Oh and she didn't have the binky any other time except bed. I forgot to mention. That was actually the first part of the transition. ONLY giving it to her at bed.
Good luck!
Kristin
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Lyn if she isn't actually asking for it then I probably wouldn't offer it back esp as it has been a few days now... it may take time for her to form an attachement to something, so just keep offering things... OK she is in your bed, but my guess that is part of her transitioning to something more comforting, hard as it is with you preg, but I guess having got so far along, I'd be saying lets keep going & even though it is "easier" to have her in your bed at night, it isn't a long term solution so maybe you need to look at investing the time (of sleeplessness) & get her settled in her own bed at night
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So yesterday she found a pacifier (that slack paci fairy must have left it ;D). She put it right in, sucked on it for a while. When she took it out and got distracted, I snuck it away. She never seemed to notice. So, I think we're done with it. Now, she was up at 2 again last night and then up for the day at 5. But she wasn't crying or unhappy, just awake.
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I have been thinking the same about dd (13.5 months) but we have DS on the way (5 days late today) & I just looked forward a few months & thought, what would happpen if DS needs a dummy & DD starts taking it off him. I might be creating more trouble for myself than it is worth.....having 2 lo's won't be easy & I need to keep my sanity to be a good mum.
SOOOOO I have decided that it will probably be easier to let them both have dummies (If he needs one!) and then the theory is to try & wean them both off it at the same time.
Well, that's the theory......bet I will be posting on here tearing my hair out when I try to do it!! :D :D
I have also thought, what is the harm really of letting them keep a dummy as long as they are just having it at night or during naps.....everyone needs their comfort. I think trying to replace it gradually with a toy is a great idea & is also what I am doing with DD at present.
Good luck :) :) :)
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I let Graham keep his when Elizabeth was born; he was 22 months old. I didn't try to wean him until he was close to 3. But, when I did, he gave it up pretty easily and she still had his. He would say, "babies uses pacifiers. Big boys have cars." We let him have some special new cars when he got rid of the paci. When he would mention the paci, I told him he could have it back but he'd have to get rid of the cars. He always chose the cars.
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Last night was the first no paci night we've had. We're doing it cold turkey. Ds has been sleeping well for the past week and I have #2 due on Dec 25th, so I figure it now or not for another long time. Dp and I are rotating nights and last night wasn't too bad. I think naps are going to be more trouble, but we've put our mind to it and we're going to stick with it.
any tips, advice or pats on the back to keep it up would be great. :)
Thanks for the stories and thanks grahamsmama, sounds like you were really successful.
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Sending you some pats on the back!!!!! :)
Just stick with it and next week the paci will just be a memory. Oh, but make sure you've checked all the possible places they may be hidden (E has found a few).