BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: Oggy on October 09, 2006, 09:51:17 am
-
8th October 2007
I tend to read notes for reassurance but don't post many as my little girl (14 months) has always been a content baby and ate and slept like a perfect child (most of the time!).
DD has always been a shy child and cried if a stranger got too close and has always needed lots of reassurance when in adult company.
The problem is that I had 13 months off work and returned 5 weeks ago on a part time basis, since then this clingyness has become suffocating. I know most children experience a level of separation anxiety around this time but DD is terrible, she doesn't leave my side, my dh gets frustrated as she won't sit /play with him and won't allow him to feed her. When we go to friends / family houses she screams if I leave the room for even a few seconds.
I understand this anxiety is brought on by my return to work 3 days a week but it seems to co-inside with a sleep problem which making everything 100 times worse!
DD used to sleep from 7pm to 7am, recently she goes down at 7pm with no issues but wakes at 10, 11, 12 and then again at 5am not being able to settle her as she's desperate to get up. I've tried all the walk in walk outand the shh pat methods but as soon as she sees me that's it, if I walk out she screams. I've tried sending my husband in but she doesn't settle for him and he gets frustrated as 5am is too early for all of us!
I can't understand what's waking her at 5am, she's not cold and shouldn't be hungry so I'm lost and is becoming an increasing problem please help I could do with a little reassurance myself!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9th October 2007
Please help I'm desperate now.
DD slept until 3am this morning then woke up screaming, dh and I took it in turns to sooth her back to sleep but as soon as we stepped foot outside the door she woke up again crying. After an hour we were beside ourselves and had to leave her to cry, after 20 minutes she fell asleep. I hate leaving her to cry but we knew she wasn't in any discomfort, hungry or cold. She fell asleep for an hour and at 5 she woke up again crying. this time she wasn't going back to sleep and we had to get up with her.
The other thing is recently she's stopped sucking her thumb (I have no idea why) she used to use it to get back to sleep but won't touch it now.
Please please help us - any advice
-
Considering all she's going through right now, I'd use gradual withdrawal to get her back to sleep rather than wo/wi. Its detailed in the FAQ section of this forum. You may even need to sleep in her room with her for a few nights to get her back to being comfortable that you will be there if she needs you. After things have settled a bit, then you can try to remove yourself from the room. Until then, be there for her as much as you can - she needs you right now.
You really need to NOT leave her to cry - that just reinforces to her that she has reason to be concerned that you'll leave and not come back.
HTH.
-
thanks for your reply I had a look at the FAQ.
Over the past two weeks I've been soothing her back to sleep by gently stroking her hair or rubbing her back and eventually just keeping my hand still on her so she know's I'm still there. She starts snoring and I go to walk out and she's awake again and we go through this process all over again. I haven't tried sleeping on the floor as she rarely lifts her head off the matteress she just lies there crying but I'll do anything to get her sleeping through again.
It would help to know why she wakes up as normally she's so tired when we're trying to sooth her again. It seems to be between 3.30 and 5 each morning. She has two naps during the day 1 hour in the morning and 1 - 1 1/2 in the afternoon and goes down at 7pm with ease.
Is this a common problem? and is it just a phase??
-
I would put a mattress by her bed and when she cries, put your hand on her briefly to let her know you're there, then take your hand away. Just keep doing it until she settles. I would sleep in her room for a few nights, just until she settles a bit. Then move your mattress closer to the door a little bit each night until you're out of the room.
Separation anxiety is very common, especially when there are changes going on. And her age is common for sleep disruption.