BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => General Sleep Issues => Topic started by: wfabby on November 20, 2006, 23:23:14 pm
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I am by NO means an expert at sleep (take a look at some of my posts ;D), but at least read this if you are at the point I have been at, so desperate for sleep, you start thinking everyone else can't be wrong, maybe it will be OK to let your lo CIO.
Well, my lo, 10 months this week, has never slept through the night until one night last Wednesday. I was beyond excited. It was the first time I had slept a stretch longer than 2 hours in, well, 10 months. He didn't cry until 4:30am.
I called everyone I knew and got the same response from everyone "...if he cries tonight after falling asleep, just let him be and he will learn..."
That day my ds went to bed as usual, and a 9:30 I heard his first cry. It wasn't a cry of desperation, we all know that cry, just a cry of "I'm up". As I walked to his nursery everyone's advice of just letting him cry was running through my head and I was kicking myself for being such a wimp that I couldn't do it.
It was then that I went into his room and saw my lo sitting up holding his blanket COVERED in vomit. The entire crib was covered, the walls and even the floor. He was sitting in a literal puddle of vomit. Only when he saw me did the real cry start and from there the night didn't end.
As soon as I picked him up, he was asleep in my arms, probably from the pure dehydration and exhaustion from all the vomit. In my gut, I was sick thinking, what if I had just let him cry? He would have fallen asleep probably right where he was, in a puddle of vomit, alone, scared and hurting. He would have thrown up again (as he did all night) and could have aspirated in his own vomit, all because I would have wanted some sleep????????
What about all the other babies who have been left to "cry it out"? How many are scared, sick, or hurt that may have needed their mom or dad at night but knew that crying wouldn't get them anywhere or anyone because it hasn't in the past. How many fevers have gone undetected until morning when it was "time" to get the baby up.
Believe me, I have been desperate enough that the thought crossed my mind. But, your baby is only your baby for so long. Sleepless nights only last for so long. We need to think every time we are at the end of our ropes and are feeling like we just can't take it any longer and you almost resent that little being keeping you up for 2 hours in the middle of the night....you have been given a gift that needs to be nurtured, loved, and cared for and you must be thankful every day for it, because if you read through some of the recent posts, it can be taken from you at any time, for no rhyme or reason.
What's a little lost sleep.
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Wow, what a rough night for you. Thank you for sharing this story, reminding us all that life is short and that when your baby cries, it is because he/she needs you. :-* and {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you and Jake
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here here well said.
i am so glad you went to your lo its just awful to imagine how the poor little thing could have suffered if you had left him, thank goodness you didnt.
lack of sleep is a form of torture. i have been lucky i would say with my lo with regards sleep, i just dont know how i would handle it i would like to think i wouldnt let him cio, but until i have been that tired and desperate i cant judge. but you are so right with what you say x x x
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I have never been at the point with Riley that I have ever felt like letting him CIO, but I again would not judge anyone for doing it either. I don't believe that CIO alone will break the bonds of trust, it's just something personally I do not feel right about. Thank you for sharing your story and I can just imagine your poor little pet all covered in vomit and desperately needing Mommy. He's lucky to have a responsive Mommy like you.
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What an inspirational e-mail!! Thanks so much for sharing your experience....
Sleep depravation can be extremely difficult to cope with, but as mothers we have to remember that our babies rely on us for EVERYTHING! They are so precious and we all have been reminded of this with little Max's passing this past week... When we feel like we are at our wits end we must remember how lucky we are to have our babies!
Natasha
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What an inspirational e-mail!! Thanks so much for sharing your experience....
Sleep depravation can be extremely difficult to cope with, but as mothers we have to remember that our babies rely on us for EVERYTHING! They are so precious and we all have been reminded of this with little Max's passing this past week... When we feel like we are at our wits end we must remember how lucky we are to have our babies!
Natasha
Well said, puts everything into perspective really, doesn't it?
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Yes it really does!!
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:'( Well said. Thank you.
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Thank you so much for sharing that. You explained everything so beautifully and its absolutely true. Hope your lo is feeling better!
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my mum is visiting this week, and told me yesterday how she let me cry it out when i was 10-11 months old. i woke every night at 9.30pm ish for a month and a half, and on the drs advice she let me cry every night, up till 90 minutes, when i'd eventually crash out. she was so upset in recounting the story, and wished she'd known of gentler methods. thank you for going to your baby and giving him the care he so needed.
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thanks wendy.
melissa
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katriona, my doctor has told me numerous times to let him cry. It is funny but it seems to be the standard of thinking in the medical field. I will say though, my doc said to let him cry himselt to sleep, but if he wakes in the night I need to go to him. At least that sounds a little more rational.
I am sorry your mom got upset. We all do the best we can and I am sure you don't feel any less loved by her.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story ;D
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Thank you so much for posting your very honest account. This is so reassuring.
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One of my friends told me how one night his daugher woke up in the middle of the night and started crying (I don't know how old she was, only that she was already in a toddler bed). He wanted to go to her but his wife said she would be fine, to just let her be and she would probably go back to sleep on her own. Well she did, but a while later she woke up again and started crying again so my friend went to see her and he found her stuck in the railing that they had put on the side of her bed! Her little head was on the bed, but the rest of her body was on the other side. Thank God that her little feet reached the floor. He was so scared and felt so awful for her! And his wife felt awful too, can you imagine?! So no CIO for me, ever, no matter how sleep deprived I am.
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Sorry, but I'm going to be a party pooper here. I'm certainly not in the "CIO club", but I do let my DD cry for short periods (5 mins at most) before I see to her, as long as I KNOW she is well and isn't sick or hurting.
It might not be the case with all LOs, but I can tell by my DD's cry whether she is sick/vomiting or just crying to self-soothe. A good vomit is certainly distressing, so I can understand your concern. My DD definitely has a different cry if she is sick (more high-pitched and urgent) and I really can tell in her cry if she has vomited.
I can't understand the logic in letting children cry indefinitely without checking on them, but from experience I know that letting them cry for short periods of time (before the cry escalates) and going in to reassure them at regular intervals certainly does no harm. This mentality has kept me and DH sane for the past 2 years, and has given us all excellent undisturbed nights of sleep.
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Just a reminder we don't debate CIO on these boards :)
I'm going to ask for this sticky to be locked by another moderator.
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Thank you all for sharing your stories and experiences.
When posts or possible debates such as this came up, Tracy asked us to remind posters that she always cautions against any form of crying it out/controlled crying because she feels it breaks trust between parent and child. She said many times that there is a gentler solution for every situation, we just have to find it.
We understand that all parents feel differently about this issue, but CIO is not an issue that we permit discussion on within this website, when CIO debates spring up they invariably get heated, and feelings get hurt.
This thread has served it's original intentions, and the decision has been made to lock this thread before any further debate can occur.
Thank you for your understanding.
Site Team Admin