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E.A.S.Y. Forum / E.A.S.Y for my preemie
« Last post by FTM0129 on Today at 16:22:15 »
My son is 6 weeks premature. His actual age is 5.5 months but his adjusted age is 4 months. I want to start easy to get some structure in our days. right now we are all over the place. Here is a sample of or current schedule.

WU 8:00

A 1 hr
E bfast (solids)
A 1 hr
S ~10:00 nurse to sleep (2-3 hrs) only if I lie with him for his entire nap. If I try to sneak away he wakes up. He also stirs several times and I have to resettle him.

A 12:00 ~2hrs
S 2:00 nurse to sleep (1-2 hrs) same as above

The rest of the evening is a crap shoot. Sometimes he'll take another nap around 5:00 for 45 mins. Other times I can't get him back down. either way the evenings are mostly horrible and I have to walk with him in my arms or in the carrier because he is grumpy and unhappy until his night time routine.

depending on how miserable he is we give him a bath between 6:30 and 7:30.
then nurse to sleep around 7:30 - 8:00 pm. We co-sleep at night. he sleeps for ~12 hrs and wakes 2-3 times at night to nurse.

He's never been a good sleeper. I think it's mostly or entirely my fault because I don't know what I'm doing and don't have much support. He hasn't responded positively to anything I have tried and so I just started to try to follow his lead and that's how we ended up with this schedule.

I hope someone can help me get on the right track.Tia.

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E.A.S.Y. Forum / Re: Confused about A times after illness
« Last post by eva026 on Today at 15:53:07 »
Thanks! Ill give her another few days on the 1.50 A and see if it settles, maybe itís still leftover effect from the illness. If not Iíll have a look on the nw board.
I tried her on 2hA this morning and it was definitely too much, 30min nap.

I guess Iím kind of slowly sleep training, gentle removal of rocking kind of counts ( to make me feel like Iím doing something).
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Thanks Bec and Creations for your replies. Any support is encouraging as last few days I feel conpletely lost thinking is she OT or UT amd spending every nap with her in the room ttying to get her back to sleep.
Past few days baby wakes after 45 min and basically screams u til I come to pick her up. It could be regression, hopefully weíll get back to the part where she just chills and dozes back to sleep.
I also noticed she is not particularly hungry until later in the evening so she might be ready to have longer A.
I will definately try it with longer A. If I understood corecrly, the time from her waking up until she falls asleep should be 5-10 min longer? And I should expect that it should get worse before it gets better because now she will be a bit OT? Is her being quite rested after 45 min another sign she is UT?

Would you suggest we try to stop swaddling her? She breaks out every time and although she sucks her fingers she gets really agitated once she starts sucking them-like a frenzy. Maybe it would be better to go through it together with nudzhing the A?
I dont know if this is important but putting her down for bedtime takes forever, she naps and wakes for 2-3 hours until she finally settles-I pay attention to feed her through this period so itís not the hunger.

Bec, I did not know UT babies are harder to get back to sleep, thanks:)

Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it
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Naps / Re: Anyone want to talk about 3:2 nap transition? Part 3
« Last post by Olga_W on Today at 15:15:45 »
Yes, we are much better now. He takes consistent longer morning naps (usually between 1 hr -1.5 hr) and shorter afternoon nap. Our day is more predictable and he does not get as overtired as he used to. Thank you again for your advice!
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Hi and welcome to BW forums :)

I agree with bec about nudging the A time only a touch, could do the trick. But what I really stopped by to say is that my DS also often did this when he was very young and an independent sleeper.  he was actually younger than your LO but he would wake and lay happily gazing around and eventually go back to sleep. I just left him to it as he never called or cried out for attention and he got enough rest.  I think there is a bit in the BW book which says this can happen and in generations gone by parents probably wouldn't have know their LOs were awake and going back to sleep because they were likely in another room - these days we have baby monitors or have baby sleeping in the family room during the day so we are more aware of broken sleep.

Glad you decided to post - you really don't need to scour the past posts for answers we generally like to offer individual support whenever we can.
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E.A.S.Y. Forum / Re: Confused about A times after illness
« Last post by creations on Today at 14:58:07 »
Yeah, sorry that's all I can think of for now - either teething/pain or sleep training issues.
Feel free to start a new thread in NWs though for fresh eyes, perhaps someone else would pick up something i'm not seeing. x
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Hi there
I wouldn't beat yourself up about sleeping with her, if my family had been through so many changes I would have done th same if my DS had needed it.

I see you've only just moved into your new home (congrats), is her room all set up nicely now so she can feel comfortable in there?
Can you spend some time which is not BT  with her playing in the room, putting laundry away, getting some toys out, having a wrestling match on her bed, playing hide and seek (just hiding under a blanket or whatever Whispering things like "she'll never find me here")... this can all help a LO get used to their new environment much faster and associate it with nice things they've done with mummy or daddy.

I would get a night light if she wants one on, try not to get blue light as it can disturb sleep.
My DS used ot sleep in total darkness but eventually went through a very long phase of wanting a small night light left on. I just let him have it (ours is built in to the sound monitor).  After sleeping happily with the light for ages we eventually came to a phase where both DS and I worked out that the night light disturbed his sleep in the early hours of the morning, as though he though the sun was coming up.  For another long period I left the night light on for him to fall to sleep and then at my BT I went in a turned it off so it didn't disturb his night sleep.  The current phase is that the light is to be off when he goes to sleep (just like years ago) because he wants the room properly dark again... so we'd have every possibility and it just changes with developmental phases.

I'd set up a bed on the floor for yourself because really you are going to get through this much faster if you don't resort to taking her into your room.  If you are near her on the floor you can verbally reassure or reach a hand out to her when she wakes and you might not sleep well at all but you can at least doze between NWs.  I did this when my DS moved rooms (not cities!). I was shattered for a few nights but things moved on quickly.

NWs are normal, even adults NW about 5-6 times per night as we transition from one cycle to the next, the goal is not to prevent any NW but for her to be confident enough that when she comes to light sleep and wakes she just goes right back to sleep.  Initially I'd say that to build her confidence would be to know that you are there, she doesn't *need* to fully wake and call out but if she does you can say "I'm right here, everything is okay, go to sleep".  I would imagine after a few nights you could move out of the room and sleep in your own bed if it's not too far away and can use verbal reassurance, same/similar phrase. If not though then a more gradual process of moving out of the room might be needed (I'd go with the more rapid move out of the room myself).

For independent sleep at BT I would just stop laying with her.  have your usual wind down, books, cuddles etc and then move to by the bed not on it. Sit on the floor or a chair/stool and be close enough to have a hand on her and just keep on repeating that you are right there, it is time to go to sleep.  Let her go to sleep the first couple of nights with a firm hand on her if needed but then reduce pressure and within a few days more have the hand off.
The thing with this sort of gradual withdrawal sleep training (or re-training) is you need to keep on moving forward, always helping but also being relatively firm about the gradual move away.  When you reassure have a confident voice, you know full well she is in no danger and that you will return to her if she needs you so let that be heard in your phrase so that the confidence is passed on.  Sometimes I think a confident instructional tone is more confidence giving than a soothing pacifying tone (they are both loving and caring).

The nap at daycare might not be working in your favour. She could be UT for her night sleep and this will cause problems with sleep training and length of NWs (because she has the energy to just keep on complaining or calling for you at night) but I know some daycares will not stop napping kids.  Maybe ask if it's possible but if not then you just have to deal with what you've got.

Hope this helps some
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Naps / Pick up put down Help!!!!
« Last post by FTM0129 on Today at 11:40:48 »
Help!

My baby boy is 4 months (adjusted) 5.5 months actual. he was 6 weeks premature. He's never been a good sleeper.  For the first 3 months I couldn't get him to take naps longer than 45 mins maybe a couple times per day. Then I started lying down with him and nursing him to sleep. Only then will he take naps. He naps for 2-3 hours in the morning around 10 am and again (sometimes) at around 2. maybe he'll take a 45 min nap ~6. Then I put him to bed between 7:30 and 8:30pm. he sleeps for 12hrs waking 2-3 times to nurse. We co-sleep at night because thats what works best for my family. I am hoping to reclaim some personal time during the day by putting him to nap in his crib but it's proving to be very challenging. He will only nurse to sleep and as soon as I transfer him to the crib his eyes pop open. Ive tried the pick up put down method but he just cries and cries and cries. As soon as he is awake there is no hope of putting him back to sleep. Every time I put him down he cries. then he stops as soon as I pick him up. I hold him for 1 -2 mins and reassure him. then put him down but he immediately starts crying. I can do this for hours on end. nothing changes.  Please I just need some guidance on what I am doing wrong. How long do you let them cry before picking them up? should I hold him until he is sleepy and then put him back down? because he is never sleepy after he wakes up. I basically have to skip the nap, play a little and then start the process over with nursing him to sleep. Finally, how long did it take you to see results with this method? how many days can i expect him to go without a nap before i see improvement. I am afraid of messing up our established nap schedule that i am finally happy with. TIA.
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General Sleep Issues / Re: Crying before every sleep - 7m
« Last post by jessmum46 on Today at 09:03:01 »
I have been wanting him to have a longer first A time, but he sometimes already starts yawning and rubbing his eyes as early as 8am (more often a little later though), which is confusing to me!
This can be a combination of things - habit, boredom, or built-up over tiredness from disturbed nights or a long A time before bed.  It's not always that he's not tired, but it's more 'background' tired rather than being tired enough right then and there for a decent nap.  The way I think of it is if you'd had a really busy week, late nights, busy days etc, you'd probably be feeling tired within an hour or two of getting up in the morning.  But if you went to bed then it would be very unlikely you could do a whole night's sleep straight away - does that make sense?  Sometimes you just have to push past the background tiredness with a bit of distraction and you'll find they can cope for rather longer than you expect.

I was also swayed as my sister's LO has an A time of 1hr first thing and it works perfectly for them (same age as DS).
It's not uncommon to see this, but I would look at it in the context of what the whole night and routine is like.  If this LO was going to bed at 7pm and sleeping through to 7am, I'd find it quite unlikely that they would be ready for a nap by 8am.  But if they are going to sleep late, having less than about 10.5h sleep overnight between bedtime and morning, having disturbed nights, or only having one other nap in the day after that early first one, it makes far more sense as that 1h first A time is really a night waking, with the first nap being an extension of night sleep. 

Just to clarify the 45 mins limit was Tracy's suggestion for nap times - at bedtime you'd keep going until they settle ideally.  I will be honest once we got A times sorted, if it was taking longer than about 10 mins for a nap I knew it wasn't going to work and it was much better for us to abandon early, then try again in 15-20 mins.  So feel free to do the same!!

With feeds, I'm assuming your LO now has solids?  The 4h really becomes a bit less important once you have those in the mix too, it's not like tiny babies who need to be few with absolute regularity.  We just did a pattern of WU, BF, solids after an hour, nap, repeat.  So on that routine we'd have had BF at 6.30, 11, 3.30 and BT, with solids at 7.30, 12 and 4.30.  It never seemed to affect sleep particularly for us.  The last A time gets a bit crowded with eating but again it didn't cause us any issues and that afternoon BF was the first to be dropped (around 10 months for us, though I know some people will recommend continuing with at least 4 BF until 12 months).

Hope that is helpful, let me know if any more questions :)
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General Sleep Issues / Re: Baby waking at long period during night
« Last post by pipkin on Today at 07:45:07 »
Hello

Aww thanks for getting in touch. Itís nice to know Iím not the only one going through it!.

My child does sleep a lot during the day if I let her but I usually try to wake her up after she has slept for 1.5 hours but yesterday, to see if it made any difference,  I did leave her to sleep as long as she wanted and the first nap she slept 2 hours 20 mins and the second nap 2 hours. It didnít make any difference though because she was still awake at 4.30am haha! So regardless of whether I wake her or let her sleep it is early morning starts. In the morning I try to keep her awake until at least 8am so she isnít using the first nap to supplement any night time sleep she missed out on but now wondering if she is getting up at 4.30am whether that is too long and actually I should put her down earlier.

She has only recently dropped her third nap so bedtime is definitely slightly more over tired than normal but I try to start her routine as soon as I notice she is getting tired and she is usually in bed by just after 6.30pm and asleep by 7pm. Iím too nervous to do this any earlier incase sheíll wake even earlier than she does!

I try to leave her in her cot until she starts crying in the morning and I read somewhere that they could start feeling hungry if they are used to be being fed at that time so yesterday morning I fed her at 4.45am and then this morning at 5am. Tomorrow Iím going to try and hold off until 5.15am Etc etc. Iíve no idea if this will help or even work though! Itís really dark in her room so I donít think it is light waking her up. I do have a feeling that she may just be one of those babies who doesnít need any more sleep as she is wide awake and very happy at that time so it isnít that she seems tired. If that is the case,  I canít really push her bed time back any later as she is definitely ready for bed when we put her to sleep.

Thanks for your help :)
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