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General Sleep Issues / Please help! Beginning PU/PD for 11 month old
« Last post by MotherofRose on Yesterday at 15:43:51 »
Hello all,

New newbie here.

My 11 month old has always been hit and miss with sleep. Partly my fault as I simply didnít know how to implement a routine when she was brand new. Around 5/6 months she was brilliant at going to bed, at first she drank her bottle to sleep but then would go down awake and settle herself.

She has tended to nap on me during the day from around 9 months. This was simply because I was so exhausted, couldnít face the 40 minute fight to get her to nap for half and hour and to be honest, I loved the cuddles. She would still settle well at night, but wake around 4ish and get into bed with me. A few weeks ago she got ill with a stinker of a cold, quickly followed by hand footr & mouth and tonsillitis. She is just getting over this now. Sleep has gone out the window. Nighttime she fights her cot, she wakes around midnight and is hysterical unless she gets into bed with me and now daytime naps are effected too. Last night she woke at 1:30am, and would cry hysterically if I put her back down. I kept picking her up when she became upset and putting her back down again. She finally went to sleep in her cot at 4:30am holding my hand. (She woke at 6am for her bottle and I was so tired she fell asleep next to me in bed which I fear has undone all that work in the night)

I would dearly like to try the PU/PD method to help her. Do I start it from the very first stage, or do I jump straight to the stage for her age? Iíve also just moved her cot into her own room today, as I think I was disturbing her sleep with it being next to my bed.

Feeling incredibly inadequate, useless and rubbish at the moment! I just want to help my baby sleep!

Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank you all xx
Thanks Cath! I know everyone's different, but what character do your DDs have? And with regards to the floor bed, since he tends to wander out of bed and try to sit on/with me, would you keep putting him back more firmly or should I let him roam around the room a bit while inviting him to get back in bed? He's angel/spirited (used to be more Angel, now definitely more spirited..!!) and real clingy at times.
E.A.S.Y. Forum / Itís all a bit....wrong!
« Last post by _mumma_cole_ on Yesterday at 09:37:15 »
My first baby was a BW baby. She was a dream!

My second baby was super poorly with multiple allergies so he never went to a routine just because he was in so much pai. By the time we were through that he was a Ďlost causeí-bless him 😂

So now Iím 7 months in to baby 3. At the start he was great. He had always been put down for naps & he napped beautifully. Woke 3 or 4 times a night as a newborn. As heís got older itís all fallen to sh*t!

We are now in a position of doing a school run at both ends of the day & I just have no idea what to do about naps!

His standard day (if there is such a thing!) looks like this:

6.30am - wake & bf if he wants but feeds most of the night!
7am - breakfast (eats very little-probably full from overnight)
8.15am - leave for school
9am -falls asleep in car on way back from school
9.30am - wake
12noon - lunch
12.30pm - nap
1/1.15pm - awake (try to resettle but not often successful)
2.30pm - school run
4pm - cat nap limited to 15 mins
5pm - tea
6pm - bath
6.30pm - bf/cuddle to sleep

BF throughout day on demand-approx every 3 hrs

Wakes every 2hrs at night.

Help please! I need longer naps to work during the day but I just donít know where to start!
Naps / Re: 10 week old naps - hates shh pat and reflux
« Last post by creations on Yesterday at 08:40:40 »
normally does a good 4/5 hour stint and after that she wakes every 1.5-2 hours until morning
5hrs is classed as sleeping through the night so she's doing brilliantly to manage that.

If she was previously sleeping longer than 40 mins she might need a little extra A time, maybe try putting down (or sling) 5 or 10 mins later than you are doing and see if it helps.

my LG doesnít seem to like shhh patt at all.
Some refluxers do not like to be patted as it can be uncomfortable for them.  Instead try a rub either on the back if you are holding her in arms or in the sling or rub her side/nappy area/hip if she's in the cot.  Or if in the cot try a firm hand and a small but quite rapid motion like a jiggle, tiny movement a bit like being in a car or pram.  That's what I did with my DS as he didn't like patting (when he was older the odd time I patted he said "Can you stop that, it doesn't help you know!".
Instead of shushing you could try white noise or a song or key phrase.  Mine had a song I repeated over and over (every nap every night every NW...I sang it a LOT over the years!) and I also introduced key phrases which I repeated like a mantra rather than shushing.

Jiggling can be moved into the cot and can be weaned slowly with an on/off stop/start process just the same as patting.
It may also help to know that Tracy wrote in one of her books that if you do need to rock LO to sleep move in a forward backward motion rather than side to side as it better replicates the motion of being in the womb (ie walking or if you are standing still then put one foot forward and shift weight forward and backward).

Wanting to suck can be for comfort or hunger but can also be a sign that the reflux is not controlled.  Some refluxers can sometimes like to suck to reduce the pain, the swallowing helps. It's also fine to take smaller more frequent feeds and not necessarily move to 3hrs or 4hrs at those guidance ages.  Mine didn't move past 3hr E until 6 months when there was solids between each milk feed.

hope this helps some
General Sleep Issues / Re: 8 month old working on crib phobia after CC
« Last post by creations on Yesterday at 08:28:21 »
Hi there and welcome to BW forums.

First off I'm happy to hear you have turned away from CC.
Second, it sounds like you are doing the right things to regain trust and reconnect with your LO.
The thing to remember from here on is that with increased trust your LO will be able to slowly gain the skills and confidence to sleep alone BUT that confidence comes from knowing that Mummy (or Daddy) will always always return whenever he calls for you.
I think just continue what you are doing.  Laying in the crib to help support and sooth him is a great idea (and no need for the pillow as this is a method to get LO off your lap and onto a firmer surface).  if you can add a little rocking motion as you lay with him (as your LO is used to rocking) then you might be able to get him to finally nod off in there.  I wouldn't even aim for him to sleep alone yet but rather to learn that it is okay to sleep in the crib with support from you...and later on to move yourself outside the crib but stay right next to him with as much hands on as needed to sooth and reassure.

I would avoid any sort of timed PUPD to be honest.  it can involve lots of crying and could remind him of his prior experience of CC.  In any case PUPD is a last resort method when other methods have been exhausted.  So instead I would suggest always having a full wind down and soothing in arms then when in the crib put hands on firmly/reassuringly  and give him that little rocking motion in the crib, use shush if he likes it or introduce a key phrase (you can introduce this right away and he will eventually associate it with soothing and sleep) which you can repeat like a mantra.  Much later when you are working on him nodding off with your hands off him you can continue the key phrase to reassure (and hands back on/off to help when needed).  Key phrase can also be used from outside the room once it is fully established to reassure your LO that you are there and still ensuring his safety even though you are not actually in his room - in ALL cases if your LO cries for you or calls for you then you respond with whatever level of support and reassurance is needed, ie if verbal reassurance from outside the room is not enough then you go in, if being in the room is not enough then you put hands on (and key phrase), if hands on is not enough you pick up.

After his experiences of being left I would take things slowly now.  Keep reminding yourself that his confidence comes from you proving and demonstrating that you will always return, no matter what.

As I am suggesting more of a gentle withdrawal rather than PUPD you do not need to know "when" he is ready to start.  Each step towards sleep training is small and with every step you take you can always go right back to full on cuddles.  Even a fully independent sleeper has times when they need full on support, it doesn't ruin their ability to sleep alone or self sooth instead it re-confirms their trust in you that you will always return.  As example, my DS was so independent with sleep that he didn't even want me in the room after his goodnight kiss but at times of illness or teething or tricky developmental leaps he needed lots more attention and at times I would need to stay until he was fully asleep, stroking his head but once the phase was passed he would return to falling to sleep alone again.

I hope this helps.
Someone recommended that i start pumping in the day to allow him to get milk in his cup
If you don't usually pump I'm not sure if this is something you'd want to start as it's extra work/time taken when you can just instead BF but it's totally your choice.

that i give him to someone else to sleep with from 9-2am to resettle him...then i come in after that and nurse. Do you think this is a good idea?
Even formula fed babies often still have a milk at night at this age, BF babies often need more than one because the milk is digested more easily so I probably wouldn't recommend night weaning yet.  Guidance is to BF on demand.
Naps / Hard to read 6 week old.
« Last post by Kate M on December 15, 2018, 09:47:20 am »
Firstly I am hugely thankful I have a very content wonderful little boy. I have been trying to read his cues but get him down after an hour of wake time. The problem is that I do a wind down routine, put the blackout blinds down, put the white noise on and pop him in his Moses basket where he sleeps at night and he just lies awake! He's not upset and will just lie there. I check in on him at various points and he's just awake. By the time I get him out he's been awake for upto an hour and a half awake so he's then overtired and if I manage to get him to sleep in the sling he'll only do 30mins. Yesterday he only napped 3 hrs for the whole day! One nap he self settled no probs and went to sleep for almost an hour, the nap after that he just lay there awake for 40 mins I then tried every means possible to get him a nap and he stayed awake nearly 4 hours until I put him to bed. His older sister was exactly the same but I'm determined to get this bit to nap.

Our routine can be a bit hit and miss as I have his older sister to entertain in the morning and then the nursery run for the afternoon, having said this I try to make sure he's awake for the same amount of time between naps.

Please help, any suggestions would be most appreciated.
Night Wakings / Re: Waking before dreamfeed
« Last post by Katet on December 14, 2018, 21:35:56 pm »
Have you tried cluster feeding in the evening? At 3/4mo there is a big growth spurt & depending on if he is BF or FF, how the feeding impacts can impact the night feeds. That said in a BF baby it is within the normal range  for there still to be 2-4 night feeds at 4mo.

What are his day feeding times & is he BF or FF?

Secondly CIO is not condoned on BW as it breaks the trust with babies & there is A LOT of evidence that it can cause a lot of unnecessary stress in babies, that can have lasting effects on emotional health.
Night Wakings / Waking before dreamfeed
« Last post by magnoliamomma615 on December 14, 2018, 21:17:15 pm »
Need some baby sleep advice. Our 4 month old boy is a mystery. We have him on EASY. He eats every 3.5-4 hours now, awake time is about 90 minutes and naps have pushed past the 45 minute mark most times and are usually around 1.5 hours. During the day, he is content, sweet and predictable. But our nights are rough. He goes down between 6 and 7, as close to 12 hours after his wake up time as possible. I was doing the dream feed but it wasnít really pushing his next night time feeding any later. Heíd still wake around 1 and 4, sometimes even more frequently, so I stopped. Especially after he started waking up for it, expecting it and out of habit. If it wasnít pushing him later, why bother right?  This was about a month ago and heís still waking on his own between 10 and 11, as well as around 1 and 4, then up for the day by 6 most days. Heís our third, so after looking after our other two (3 and 5), weíre exhausted. He still sleeps swaddled and naps in the swing, so I know we have to make the transitions to pack and play/crib all the time and unswaddling. May still have startle reflex and is still working on finding his thumb. Then the sleep training - either PUPD or CIO Ferber Method. The thing we want to eliminate right now is the dreamfeed waking. Any advice?
Naps / Short evening naps?
« Last post by haileyababay on December 14, 2018, 15:26:03 pm »
if she's taking short evening naps, could i cut her first nap from 1:45 to 1:30 and then she'll add those 15 mins on to her evening nap?

Her naps would go from 1:45, 1:30, 1:15, :45 to 1:30, 1:30, 1:15, 1:00... right now, her last nap is lasting anywhere from 15 minutes to 30 minutes so I'm hoping that by shortening the first that she'll keep or elongate the last.

Make sense? Or maybe it's time for a new schedule? We've had this once since she was about 9/10 weeks and she'll be 13 weeks tomorrow. We're going to be transitioning into the crib for naps starting on Monday (she sleeps in her Mamaroo next to the crib with the movement off and has been for about a week but she's starting to slide to the bottom so that she's laying flat so I assume she's ready for the transition) and then when she's been there for about two weeks, I'll remove her swaddle (first with her dominant arm and then her non-dominant arm and then both), and at 4 months, I'll move her to her crib permanently- for naps and nighttime. I am trying to smoothly do the transitions. 

This is her day:

Wake 7:30
Wake until 8:45 (1:15)
Nap 1 8:45-10:30 (1:45)

Wake 10:30
Wake until 11:45 (1:15)
Nap 2 11:45-1:15 (1:30)

Wake 1:15
Wake until 2:45 (1:30)
Nap 3 2:45-4 (1:15)

Wake 4
Wake until 5:30

Nap 4 5:30 for (45 mins)

Wake 6:15
Wake until bedtime
Bedtime routine starts 7:30
Sleep 8-8:30
MOTN at 3:30/4:30
Sleep until DWT

Sleep: 5 hr 15min

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