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First time mom with a series of sleep and easy questions... Thank you for any advice.

I've a 13 week old baby. She started easy at about 9 weeks. Her schedule is this... 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm eat shower sleep, 7pm always have to wake her up to feed or sometimes feels like a dream feed, 1030pm dream feed. On a good night she wakes up once until 7am. On a bad night she wakes up at 2am and then again at 5am. Her nap ranges used to be from 40 min to 1h 40 min in the day. I'm using the shh Pat method on her. At about 11 plus week, she went all cranky due to constipation and growth spurt. At the same time I read that the 4th nap should be a cat nap, so I changed to 4pm eat 430 activity 5pm to 6pm sleep, then bath. 7pm feed and sleep.   After the 11 plus week, things seem to turn for the worse. Her naps are all 40 min and very hard to resettle for the next 40 min. She refuse to do the catnap no matter how I coax her, so I reverted back to the original schedule. She wakes up consistently at 2am and 5am every night. At 5am I try to latch her or give a pacifier to her. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't and by 6am she is wide awake to start her day.

I have a few questions hoping somebody can help:
A) is she going through the 3 to 4 month sleep regression? She seems to tick some of the characteristics. However, it doesn't seem like I can extend her awake time so soon as she gets overtired once it is past 1h15min. Do I try to start on the 4 to 3 naps transition?
B) sometimes I am able to Pat her to sleep on her back - will need to Pat for 20 min. However she doesn't sleep long only about 30 min and will jerk periodically at the 10min, 20 min, etc.  How do I deal with the jerks and extend her nap? I also realise that she likes the bicycle motion on her legs and sometimes this motion helps her to fall asleep. Will this be another sleep prop?
C) in the event I can't Pat her to sleep, I carry and shh Pat her till drowsy. Always manage to put her down drowsy on her side but usually not successful on the back. On the side she can sleep through 1 cycle thereafter will want to move or roll over flat and will cry when she realise that there is a cushion at the back. What should I do to extend her nap when lying on side? How do I put her down drowsy on her back, seems like she need some weight on her to be able to dose off.
D) should I change back the last nap to a cat nap? We tried it for a week and it doesn't seem to improve her night sleep or make her sleep longer. Furthermore She is very cranky when I try to put her down to nap and will cry hysterically.  She also wakes up at 2am and 5am.
E) are her night wakings habitual?  She seem to wake up every 3 hourly even at night. Both times she seem hungry though. However she has slept for 5 to 6 hours at night before so I don't know why now it has regressed to 3hourly. Anything I can do to make her sleep longer at night? We have increased her daily intake of milk. Should I start her day at 6am instead though I rather she can sleep another hour more. How do I make her sleep the additional 1 more hour?
F) the shh Pat method sometimes when she cries in her cot and I carry her up to shh Pat and unsuccessfully put her down too many times she will become over stimulated and cry inconsolably. Is there anything that I am doing wrongly? How do I advance the shh Pat method to self settling? I see some progress she used to reject the cot totally at about 7 to 8 weeks now she can be put down she via the shh Pat method and at good times I can Pat her to sleep. However I don't know how to progress from here.
G) swaddle - I'm using a hands up swaddle. Some are looser and some are tighter. Is it true that swaddle should be tighter and will be easier to sleep?
Thank you in advance.


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Bottle Feeding / Re: How to drop middle of night feed for a 10month old
« Last post by AmberPic on November 20, 2020, 08:19:07 am »
My youngest son used to wake up in the middle of the night and want to eat. Now he eats less for breakfast, more for lunch. The pediatrician said it was normal, but sometimes he wakes up at 5 am and wanted to eat. I think things will get better with time.
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E.A.S.Y. Forum / Everything went wrong, I am lacking every department
« Last post by Suejhe on November 18, 2020, 18:06:03 pm »
Hello BW Forum. First I want to say I recently found this forum and it is absolutely a treasure. I am not sure is there anyone can help, but I am really desperate. I read the book when I was pregnant but couldnít have a chance to apply before and recently I reread it and tried to fix my problems now. But I have tons of questions.

Full story is below. but long story short I try to 4 h easy on my 4.5 mo dd for 5 days now I t seems it works for nap times somehow but for nights it is still very chaotic. I need lots of help in every manner and my questions:

1. In day 5 she is still wakes in every 1-2 hours at night. Why is she waking frequently at night? Can be long term overtiredness or something else?

2. Every night she has 1.5 2 hour awake time I do pupd but I think it makes the situation worse and even wakes her more. Why she has a awake time at night? it seems  she adjusts her wake up times with this awake period because she wakes up exactly 12 hours later from bed time. If it is because of OT should I make her sleep whatever it takes like nurse or rock etc. ?

3. When I try to put her sleep she immediately tries to sleep by turning head (so adorable). Cry less. On day 5 it takes 5-15 min for me. Even one day it took only 1 min. But when her father tries she screams a lot and never gets chill. Why it can be? Because I need his help but when he tries things become so frustrating with tons of cry. I am exhausted due to night wakings and he canít help. I only slept 2 hours a night in the last week. It breaks my strength and I easily get upset to her. But I try to act calmly of course. After her father picks her it gets hard for me to calm her too.

4. I do pupd less time now but sometimes she gets really fussy. If I put her immediately she stops crying she became hysterical. If I wait for her to calm completely then when I put her bed she tries to sleep otherwise scream. She lost her voice little bit so I donít want her to cry more. Is it ok to do this way or I do accidental parenting?

5. She wants to feed more then 2 times at night I think. But how I can increase the amount of milk she gets without formula feeding without snacking? Her doctors suggested to start solid early but can it solve this problems because the book says no? If she takes approximately 200 ml in 10 min with both breast is it snacking?

6. The book suggests no eye contact but if I donít do it she gets fussy and sleeps while looking at me. I mimic to sleep to her after some time she closes her eyes very slowly while looking at me. What can I do?

7. I do pupd to lengthen naps it works for second but she sleeps only 30 min in first nap. When I do pupd she cry until the feeding time. I believe I should not force her to sleep should I? Also after waking from catnap she wants to sleep within a hour but before Easy she had at least 2 hours is it normal?

8. After I started to easy her awake times get weird. She stays 2.5 hours in the morning, then approximately 2 hours before 2. Nap 1.5-2 h before catnap and like 1 h before bed time? Shouldnít it be reverse?

9. Last question what if I try to fix naps first then focus on night time? Because together it makes her very tired and sleepy and makes me exhausted too. Will it affect whole situation badly?

So in day 5 our routine look like this

7         wake and feed
9.30    30 min nap
11       feed
12.      2h nap
14.30. Feed
16.30. 30 min nap
18.40. Bt
22.30  df
01       nf
04      nf

It is going to be long story but I have to start from the beginning.

I have DD 4.5 mo very active half spirited half angel baby ( weird I know). She was born via c section in 37+6. She was very susceptible to jaundice since we have a blood compatibility. She slept all in first 2 weeks it was hard to wake her up for feeds but with the paediatrician recommendation I breastfed her in 2 hours interval in day time 3 hours in night time. It worked she didnít cough up with the jaundice. In third week, she started to cry in the evenings like a colicky baby so until bath time we rock her and after that she slept long stretches in night in 3 week (5 hours). Long stretches lengthen till 8 hours in 2 mo. Until 3,5 mo she was sleeping at least 6 hours in first sleep, after that she NF 1-2 times until morning. But everting has changed.

In the eating department things weird too. I believe she is a efficient eater from the start. She never feed too long max 30 min in first week. But in third week she was breastfeeding one side only and 10 min on left 20 min right boob. It diminished 5 min left 10 min right. But right now it seems even on both sides 7 min.. In third week I turned to 3 hour intervals but one day it become 1-2 hour interval and since then she breast feed sometimes 3 hour sometimes 1 sometimes 2, so no routine here too. I have a forceful letdown I believe it is resolving now little bit, I am still leaking the other breast while feeding. So she had a little reflux too due to my letdown so I let her feed whenever she wants. But it has passsed now. I am not sure if I have a poor supply. When I have yield test, in 5 min I pump at least 90-100 ml both sides each. She was gaining weight (1 kg in a month first 3 months  )on good amount and I see lots of poop and pee in a day 6-7 times in a day. Last month she didnít get much weight only 600 gr. but this month she is on a good way she get 400 gr in 2 weeks.

We went to holiday when she was 3.5 mo and had to cosleep. in the last2 day on 1week holiday she wake up before 6 hours and started to resist bedtime. It was her 4 wonder week start day so I thought it is because of that and eventually everts will be back soon. But it did not. When we return home she started to wake in 3 hours interval at night then in 17 week she wake up every hour till morning. And I fed her to sleep because when I pick her up she suck my faces. Weird kiddo again. She was sleeping erratic pattern since then one night she wakes up every 1-2 hour one night 3-4 hour stretch and wake up every hour then.

Normally we rock her to sleep but when she start to resist bed time and breast feed I started to feed her on bed laying and she got used to sleep in this way. Normally she used to refuse breast if she wants to sleep and one day she wanted to nurse to sleep. So I changed immediately and start to rock her to sleep again.

She was taking 4 naps in a day and nap length gradually drop to 30 or even less min Before Easy. When 1 h 50 min ( I think it was her optimal wake time) passed I was bouncing on Pilates ball and she sleep in 10 min or less most of time. When we hold her she never wants to stay looking inward she always stay looking out since 1.5 mo. And she wants to sleep that way too. So in a Pilates ball while carrying outward looking 7 kg baby my back started to hurt. Also she was resisting her sleep times and screams in 2-3 min at least each try. I also try to lengthen her naps by re rocking her again, it sometimes worked sometimes didnít. But she wake up crying and sleepy all day long. I drop one nap and she slept little longer in second sleep for 2 days but it was not enough for me.

So this is the way I decided to start easy. As BW suggests I go with 4 hour plan. Today it is day 5 but I think I am doing wrong.

First day she wake up 6.40 am and I breast feed her at 6.50 and everything begins. In first try, after 2 hour awake time it took me 2 hour pupd to her sleep only for 17 min. In second nap it took 1.5 hours for 25 min. In third nap 45 min for 45 min catnap. She wake up at 6.10 pm form the catnap and want to sleep half hour later, after I breastfeed I put her on bed and she started to sleep immediately and wake up 2.5 hours later do 3-4 pupd and resettle. After 3 hours she wake up at 00.10 am so I breastfeed her. She wake up at 2.20 am again and do 2 hours pupd she was rooting so I breastfeed at 4.30 am after she slept till 7.30 am
so I wake her up for second day. Nurse her then handed to her father after 1 hour awake time he tried to make her sleep in the first nap he did 1hour 20 min pupd between the screams she slept for 25 min. Second nap I did 30 hour pupd for 30 min nap. She didnít resettle after 30 min naps on both time. She catnap at 4.20 pm after 15 min pupd. Want to sleep after half hour awake time and after bath nurse her and after 10 min pupd she slept at 5.50 pm she wake up after an hour I nursed her because it was 7 pm her desired bed time feed. She wake up at 22.00 I did several shiss pat and back to sleep I dream feed at 23 pm. She wake up at 1.30 am. And try to pupd but it didnít worked she started to root at 2.30 am so I nursed her she calmed and put her bed after several try she slept at 3 am and wake up 1.5 hour later did pat pat and eventually she wake up at 5.50 am (12 hour after bedtime)

Third day it take less time each nap time between 5-15 min in the first two nap she slept 1.15 and 1.30 hour cat nap 30 min nursed at 6.00 pm bed time 6.40. Wake several times at night dream fed ad 23 and nf at 4.30 am. Wake up 6.40 in the morning (12 hour bettime) long waking between 00.30 and 2.20 again.

Forth day first nap with father 8 min pupd 30 min sleep, second nap 5 min with me 1.45 hour, cat nap 30 min afternoon, bed time similar with third day but night time was chaos wake every 1-2 hour again. I nursed her several times in 8-9 min each time. By the way in the day time since I tried to nurse in 4 h interval I breastfeed on both sides but she nursed 10-14 min total each time. So with one breast she nursed 8-9 min seems good feed.

Fifth day morning similar with day 4 but cried a lot. Whenever her fathers picks her she cry when I try even without pupd she calms down and turns head to side to sleep. It took me less time each day to put her sleep sometimes I donít do pupd even when I try to put her sleep she immediately tries to sleep if she canít sleep,  fuss a little. sometimes little pat pat solves but sometimes I bend over her in the crib pishpish sometimes put my face to her. But it is very tiring still.

Today I went to paediatrician to check up her if something bothers her. But the doctor said she is perfectly  healthy. And he confirmed short feedings is not a problem. She gets enough milk. Her teeth get their places and she chew everything a lot but no tooth cut trough and it doesnít seem very soon.

She learned to roll over in 3 mo from tummy to back back to tummy in 4 mo. But she never tries to roll over in bed and in the morning I make her practise these skills.

After tons of detail, how I am going to solve my problems?
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Naps / Please HELP my 6mo
« Last post by xjc on November 16, 2020, 11:45:15 am »

Hi BW mums

I really need your help

I am new to E.A.S.Y and only started DS on it a couple of weeks ago. Prior to reading Tracy's books, my DS (he will be 6 months next week) was nursed to sleep and was not really on a routine. He took to E.A.S.Y quite well and has been on 3 1/2 - 4hr routine and can now put himself to sleep for naps and bedtime, as well as self-settle at night (except when he wakes up habitually at 5:30 and cannot settle at naps).

Even before I put him on EASY, he was napping solidly for 1.5-2 hrs in the morning, 45 mins at lunch and 30 mins in the afternoon. I have been working on extending the lunch nap from 45 mins to 1.5hr. It has been taking me at least 20mins to settle him. Success varies day to day - I tried PU/PD which kept setting him off and I noticed that he was becoming fearful of his crib so I stopped, and so I moved on to W2S and it has worked a couple of times so far until a new problem started...

The problem we have been experiencing in the last week is that his naps suddenly started to get shorter. His naps have shortened to 1.15hr or less in the morning, 30 mins or less at lunch and 20-30 mins in the afternoon. Also, it has become harder for him to put himself to sleep. In the beginning, he was asleep on average within 10 mins for naps and bedtime. Now it is taking him up 30 mins to fall asleep.

I have been writing his routine down since I got him on EASY but each day varies depending on what time he wakes up in the morning. He habitually wakes up between 5:30 and 6 (we have been working on 7am wake up)

Up until a week ago our routine was something like this:

6:30 WU, BF
7:30 Breakfast solid
9:00 nap 1
10:30 WU, BF
11:30 Lunch solid
13:00 Nap 2
13:45 WU (settling usually takes 20-30 mins which usually extends to 1 sleep cycle, but most times cannot)
14:30 BF
17:00 CN
17:30 WU, Dinner solid
18:00 Bath routine
18:30 BF
19:00 BT

* extended awake times from 2:15 - 2:30 5 days ago

* wakes up at 9pm, 2am and 5:30 habitually but can put himself back to sleep except for the 5:30 one.
 
* I started DF (10:30pm) when I got him on E.A.S.Y 

* Up until E.A.S.Y he was waking up to 5 times in the night and I was feeding him to sleep (accidental parenting)

* started solids almost 3 weeks ago

* solely breastfed

I would really appreciate if you could tell me where I am going wrong. I have been playing around awake times thinking that maybe he is OT or UT. I am now feeling like I have done something wrong. At least before, I can count on a 3hr nap in one day, but now he is only napping a little over 2hrs which I know is OT. Is it because I have been pushing to extend the lunch nap? I really feel like I have messed things up. Please help!
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Night Wakings / Night wakings coupled with shush pat - schedule check??
« Last post by Mommyadel on November 14, 2020, 01:43:33 am »
Babes is 7 months schedule as follows:
Wake 7
Nap 9:30/10
Wake 11/11:30
Nap2:30/3
Wake 4
Sleep 8

Babes was waking constantly all night almost every hr to 2 hrs. I was going in and nursing her but have since stopped since about 4 days ago. Now I go in when she wakes and sush pat her back to bed and donít feed her any earlier then 12am. If she wake after that before 3 hrs I try to sush pat her back to sleep. We have just transitioned her to solids within these last 2 weeks but breastfeed her and she is on a 4 hr easy.

The night wakings have gotten significantly less, but wakes when I put her to bed around 2 hrs mark she wakes and I know she is not hungry so I sush pat her to bed.( she responds very well to sush pat even though she is 7 months). Is there something I am missing ... why is she waking constantly and so early in her sleep. I suspect she is over tired so should I tweet her schedule?? If I wake her any earlier then 7am she has a hard time making it to 3 hrs for wake time.
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Naps / Re: 9 Week Old Short Naps or Refusing to Fall Asleep!
« Last post by Katet on November 06, 2020, 22:49:11 pm »
I rarely get on BW now, but saw your message

Honestly, I think you are doing amazingly well and your baby is never going to have perfect naps etc...
A witching period of crying up to 3-4 hours is normal, so 20mins is fantastic. Long naps are the textbook ideal, most parents rarely get textbook sleep all the time.

The biggest advice I can give is
to focus less on the clock and book routines and more on the information your baby is giving. If he doesn't sleep in his bed, try taking him out in a stroller or just having a cuddle together (you'll never get those moments again)

Despite the 'babies, just sleep eat, poop... The reality is some babies need more physical contact than others and won't sleep if they haven't their emotional needs met. I feel the fact you don't pick him up when he won't sleep is actually causing more of a problem than its solving. I also think the fact you find 20mins of crying at night extremely stressful might indicate you are a type A personality and need it to happen a specific way to cope... As a btdt on both accounts, learning how to accept the perfect routine isn't going to happen and babies do have unsettled periods is normal and rather than the goal being for it to end, look at a goal of how you can make it easier, eg have the bath in the morning, make one nap a shared nap together, or a nap in the stroller going for a walk.

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General Sleep Issues / Re: Advice please- PU/PD with 4 month old
« Last post by Lizzy1981 on November 04, 2020, 21:49:31 pm »
Thanks very much. Appreciate the reply. Hope it worked for you?
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General Sleep Issues / Re: Advice please- PU/PD with 4 month old
« Last post by Henrys_Dad on November 04, 2020, 21:10:26 pm »
I donít have all the answers but will try with a few.

Be careful with shush pat as this may annoy them youíll have to see had they react.
We started with night time then naps the following day then every other sleep time.
If you can get help from your partner do it, both be committed LO will cry and it is hard but take it in term 2 days on 2 days off, just the one person doing it at the same time no swapping.
Yes PU/PD after feed, youíre teaching them to go to sleep themselves not via food etc, so if theyíre asleep give them a little nudge before putting them down.
Room should be calm and relaxed, use your judgement that a small none bright nightlight should be fine as long as it doesnít distract.

Hope thatís a help.
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General Sleep Issues / Advice please- PU/PD with 4 month old
« Last post by Lizzy1981 on November 02, 2020, 19:45:05 pm »
Hi there
I am about to start doing pick up put down with our 4 month old as he is waking at night every 40 mins or so and Iím going mad.
There are a few things I am confused about though and would appreciate some guidance from those who have done it with a baby of this age

- should we shush pat him when in crib (and while holding)? Instead of saying calming things, hand on tummy etc?
- Can we start with a bedtime or should it really be with a nap? (He tends to take all his naps in the buggy as we have a very on-the-move toddler too)
- should I do PUPD after heís fed at night (I assume I canít just let him fall asleep at the boob as per usual?)
- how important is it that the room is very dark? Would it be ok to have a low lit lamp?

So grateful for any advice and of course inspirational success stories! I donít want to have him crying too much as heís still so small but I really am losing the plot

Thanks
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Just an update from me. My little boy totally surprised me by starting to fall asleep by himself when he found his thumb to suck on. That was when he was about 14 weeks old. He has been falling asleep by himself for naps ever since. :)
It was a big relief for me! I can just put him in his bed and he will fall asleep (as long as he isn't too tired or sick).
Nights are a different story unfortunately. He wakes up to breastfeed at least twice but that is an exception. Usually he wakes up 4-6 times which is starting to become very tiring. He isn't even waking up crying but just makes so much noise and moans until I pick him up and feed him.
Maybe I should be more patient and he might fall asleep again? I can't sleep when he is making that much noice and therefore I usually just give in and feed him.
@1stimer: How is your situation at the moment?
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