Super-duper late to reply here, I know...but when I saw this post I just had to write. I am a hairstylist, and have alot of experience with this!
If it's possible, I always ask Moms to bring the child by the salon WITHOUT getting a cut...just stop by, I say hello, give a sticker, and then say goodbye. Then I like them to stop by in a day or two again...another sticker...perhaps just a quick combing, but not in my chair. This helps them be a bit familiar with me. Also...I never say "Haircut".....I say "Let's get your hair all fixed up!" Once I had a 3 year old sobbing "Don't cut me!!!" and I realized that the word "cut" might be scary...so I stopped using it.
Also I have had great success with giving the child my squirt-bottle (first I get a turn to use it, spraying their hair..or spray my hands and wet the hair that way if the squirting is upsetting) and I put a towel on the edge of my station and tell the child to squirt the black towel. If Mom allows, I have squirted in the child's mouth, after I spray it in mine first...saying things like "Boy am I thirsty!!"
Counting helps, too....couting the snips as I go along.
And almost always, if Mom is able to walk away, I ask her to do so....each and every child is better behaved and calmer without Mom standing right there....if possible. Some kids go nuts for a moment, but then they're fine. Of course if Mom doesn't want this, I don't push it...but sometimes I will say "Mommy told me she has to go to the potty, right Mommy?" and ask her if I could just have a few minutes alone with the child.
Mkae sure the stylist either HAS kids, or at least likes them.
And lastly...if the kid goes insane...please, please...just have her quickly cut the front to get it out of his eyes, and then make a huge big deal out of how wonderful he did, and then GO. He'll do better next time if the whole experience isn't so traumatic.....I can't tell you how many Moms have held their kid in a headlock and insisted that I keep cutting. Those kids are afraid of the experience for the next 20 visits.
Hope that helps!!