FRUSTRATED & TIRED

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Can't remember what I posted when & am short on time. So.........Wednesday p.m. went to bed at 8 p.m.ish and slept until 4 a.m. then drank bottle and slept til like 6:15 a.m. I think.  Took a 45 min. a.m. nap and a 1/2 p.m. nap then, went to visit with biomom where she slept another 30 mins. in the car. 

Yesterday she took a 1/2 a.m. nap and 1/2 p.m. nap  Went to bed at 7p.m. ish (in car on our way home from fball game 2 hrs. away) she slept straight thru (even getting out of carseat etc.) until 12:30 a.m. Then did pd's for only 5 mins.  And she slept til 3:45 a.m. bottle then back to sleep until 6:15 a.m. She took a 45 min. nap this a.m. and 1/2 nap this afternoon(got woke up by a fire drill at school and then couldn't get back to sleep).  Tonite, went to bed at 7:30 ish p.m.

She's always eaten applesauce and had no problems. I have her bed at a slight incline because she's been stuffy a little so that would help with reflux I would think.

She had a visit on Wed. and tonite for about 1 hr. 15min. each time but that's it this week.  Her biomom got a mattress donated to her for the crib that a friend of ours gave her so I'm sure she thinks B is going to start having overnites.  Not happening until it's closer for them all to be back with her or I think it'll be too traumatic and cause more sleeping problems.

Yes, she's still in my room.  If I have to wi/wo for her to go to sleep (tonite I didn't, just told her to lay down and go nite-nite and she did) then I just do it initially and then pd's during the night.  She really likes me to hold her hand or rub her foot now when she goes to sleep - I didn't do it tonite but did the rest of the week.

I do know her allergies are bugging her (mine are awful) so we got a major air purifier for our room so it also provides background noise (she doesn't sleep well in the "quiet") so maybe that'll help. We'll see......

It's been a tough week but it's getting a little better.  Thanks everyone for all your help & ideas.

Layla, I don't think she's ready for 1 nap a day as it's a struggle to get her to stay awake until 9:30 0r 10 a.m. but they're both so short - is this normal or can I extend it somehow?

  Wendee

[Layla]

You could try to extend it with wake to sleep (which is when you stir her slightly around 30min mark ) but if she's taking the 3rd nap in the car, etc... she's kind of making up for the longer-ish sleep she could have had later on in the day (hope that makes sence).

Honestly Wendee... I think you should just go with the flow as well & I am sorry I haven't said this in the past. I am always pushing for routines & schedules cause my girls loved being on one but in your case its probably going to take alot of pressure off you if you don't. I would try to put her down for the night earlier if she's only had 2-short naps & keep doing pd when she wakes. Just think of the total amount of hours she needs to get in a 24hr day (which for her age is about 13 hrs). So if she's had 1hr during the day then I would aim for 12hr night (so bedtime about 6.30 if she wakes around 6.30am).

Sounds like her biomum is indeed keen on having Bella Boo over.... I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be on you

Keep me posted

[Wilsmon]

If there is room, have you considered moving her out of your room?  If there is no room in your house, maybe hang a sheet from the ceiling around the crib, sort of making a little room within the room?  Maybe if she can't see you when she wakes it might help.

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I'm kinda thinking that at night if she sees me she settles more easily. It's when she can't that she flips out.  I think because of all the changes with increase in visits and all that she gets SA when she knows I'm there but can't see me. Does that make sense?  Wendee

[Wilsmon]

sorry I am no help Wendee, other than to say, been there done that  .  Things just really didn't get better for us until after teething.  And it wasn't because we weren't trying - believe me we were trying, but a lot of it just ended up being "survival mode".  I hate to say that, but he is 30 months now and probably only been sleeping through consistantly for maybe 6 months.

Have you just tried letting her go back down in the am when ever she is ready?  I think it is hard to stick to a routine when they have such restless and sleepless nights.  At least it was for us.

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Wilsmom - I was trying to just let her sleep whenever but then the nightime wake ups were like 8x a night and up from like 12 a.m. on.    So, she's sorta on a little routine and it's working in a way where we avg. about 2-4 wakeups a night with quick returning back to sleep instead of the 45 mins. that it had been.   I typically think we only see a huge increase if she has long visits with biomom (like the weekends).  I can so deal with 2-4x a night as opposed to 8 or more!        (P.S. I don't think I answered your question about moving her out of our room.........the only other place is in her twin brothers' room (they just turned 2 yrs.) and they do sleep thru the night so I'm afraid her crying would wake them & then I'd have 3 to contend with in the mid of night -)     Thanks for the help/support -I appreciate it! Wendee

[Wilsmon]

Wendee, I just went back and re-read, sorry I missed the part about her being in your room  How have things been?

Have you thought about keeping a daily log of both her sleep and what she eats?  When ds turned one I was like you, desperate, tired and felt like with all the work I had done he should be sleeping better!  So, I made an appt. with his dr.  Of course it was a few weeks out, so in the meantime I kept a log (because I knew that is what the dr. would have me do anyway and I did not want to be sent away with homework lol!). 

Anyway, I can't say I found any correlation between what he was eating and his sleep, BUT much to my surprise, I did realize that even though it didn't seem like it, he was actually sleeping through 50% of the time (over about a two and a half week period). So, even though it is a little tedious, it might show you some things maybe you didn't realize.  Plus, it may help you realize any small steps of progress.

Tylenol, ibuprofen, baby oragel all of that never help ds sleep better either.  When he wasn't obviously teething things were better, by that I mean he would wake up 1-2 times and resettle within 30 min.  when things were at their worse it was up to 2 1/2 hrs.  So I guess with her getting her first two teeth, even though it may not appear she is teething, things may be going on out of sight. And with her first two coming so late, it could be she is getting ready to explode with teeth also.   As soon as he got all of his teeth (and we moved the monitor out of our bedroom and into the living room) things improved substantially. 

Plus, SA can heighten at 1 yo, if I remember right.

I am not telling you all this to get you down, just to help you realize that there is nothing "wrong" with her or you, I think some babies/toddlers handle teething, illness, SA  etc better than others is all.  Plus, the situation with the biomom I am sure doesn't help either. 

If you think the routine/consistency on your end is helping, then I would stick with it.  Others would probably be more help than I on routines b/c I never was good at it  .  I will add though, I am pretty sure at 1 yo ds am nap was longer than the pm one so that is not unusual either.

I still feel like I didn't help at all.  I wish I could mail you some magic sleeping dust to sprinkler on Bella and your pillows...

BTW-I think you are a saint for being a foster mom to these kids.

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Jennifer - Knowing that I'm not alone in this plight (is that the right word?) is help enough. But I think a log is a good idea - I'm not sure why I thought of it sooner.... probably sleep deprivation, right?!     As far as the magic sleeping dust - I'm all for that!!!!!!!!!   Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Wendee

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  Been doing pd's, wi/wo, and whatever else I can think of for 3 stinking hours now. I need some of that magic sleeping dust NOW!!!! Wendee