Okay, I took my DD to her 6mo check-up on Friday. Dr (not our usual one, different one in same office) was wonderful. Said DD was perfectly healthy. Started to talk about sleep issues and to ask advice. This dr has an LO just a couple months older than my DD, so he can totally sympathize. Told him I've read all of the books - Ferber, Hogg, Corbin, Sears. Tell him all issues: trouble with naps, not sleeping through night, etc. He starts asking about home life and tracking back to when issues really started.
I thought the problems started longer ago, but with his help, I saw that issues really started right after our vacation. So here's the timeline of what happened:\
Aug. 12 - she started crawling at only 5mo.
Aug.13 - came home from vacation to find out DH was being forced back to work despite disability & lawsuit
Aug. 14 - she pulls herself up and quickly masters that as a skill in addition to working on crawling
Aug. 15 - everything goes haywire. DH becomes stressed by situation and starts drinking heavily;I become stressed by DH. We bicker daily. Tension builds in home.
Aug. 21 - I decide to assert control and get DD back on schedule following babywhisperer. DH claims to be on board, but isn't really because he's too stressed by his situation, interrupts while trying to put her to sleep; accuses me of being heartless while letting her cry for a couple minutes and constantly rescues her.
Aug. 27 - DH goes back to work and is suddenly out of the house. DD clearly misses him and looks for him while he's gone. (We both had the luxury of almost 5mo at home full-time.)
Aug. 31 - DH leaves (just packed and went while DD and I were at my sister's b-day dinner). We decide it's good to be separated for a while, better now than while DD is older, right?
Sept. 4 - I return to work and am gone for 6-8 hours at a time. And while nanny is good, she isn't mommy.
Dr says because DD has reached physical milestones so easily, she is also ahead emotionally. She is already experiencing separation anxiety and all of the stress/trauma in the house combined with people vanishing suddenly has made it worse. Dr suggests Sears' attachment method until things stabilize and DD feels more secure and more trusting.
So, that's what I'm going to do. Right now, her well-being is what matters, and if that means letting her fall asleep on the breast or rocking her until she's comfortable, that's what I'll do. In a few months, I'll be back to get some help with sleep-training.
