12wk early party time....

[daniel'smom]

Hey all--
Need some advice as I am getting sooooo tired....

DS is 12 weeks. Nightwakings, particularly early morning, have always been tough for us. I have him on a 3-hr EASY during the day and fight the 45-min nap monster. Usually I can get him back to sleep after 45min waking by holding my hand over his eyes and shushing. He takes a pacifier to go to sleep but spits it out early (sometimes while his eyes are still open) and doesn't need it reinserted. He's swaddled for nighttime and naptime. He's BF and a very efficient nurser, usually takes one side only but if really hungry will take both.

Last night he was in bed by 6:30, asleep independently by 7. First waking at 12:30, ate very well, asleep easily. Woke at 3:30, ate okay, back to sleep easily. Woke at 4:30 but was just gritchy, so I ignored him until he cried at 5. Then I tried to NOT feed him and used binky, hand on his chest, shushing (shh/pat seems to get him more riled up), but he got progressively more awake and frustrated until I finally tried to nurse him at 5:45. He didn't eat much AT ALL but I thought he was back asleep. When I tried to put him in the bassinet, he woke up again and was awake until I took him into bed at 6:30. Still wouldn't nurse and was staring at the ceiling fan, so we finally got up for the day.

So effectively he was awake since 4:30, which makes him OT to start the day, which makes putting him down for his first nap SO frustrating....

Any ideas?? I know he doesn't need to eat more than twice a night. Maybe I"ll just let him cry more if he wakes at 4:30 again, with my hand on his chest and shh-ing. He refuses the pacifier at that time of night so it just seems like I can't do much of ANYTHING to soothe him. He can put himself to sleep but it seems like he doesn't want to. And 4:30 wakeup time is NOT an option. Really.

He has had multiple good nights with nursing at 12:30/4/awake at 6-7, as well as one AMAZING night that he slept till 3:30/awake at 7. So I know he can do it, but I just want to help him do it consistently....

Help!!

TIA
Rachel

[kris dg]

hi rachel.  my dd's naps are good during the day but the night wakings are like yours.  some nights are good but some nights, she just likes to wake up around that time - 4-530 (even if she fed less than 3 hours earlier) and not settle.  she seems so grizzly around that time.  i wonder why.  is that the grizzly hour for babies?  anbody know?

[Layla]

Hi Rachel .
 
What I would have probably done is tried to settle him for the 3.30am waking & feed him closer towards the morning. Does he seemed to be bothered by gas at all? At this age I tried not to feed if she was up any earlier than 4hrs (4-5hrs) so do the 12.30am feed & then aim for another feed closer to 4.30/5am

HAve you ever tried the DF?

Its tough I know.. .sometimes they just keep waking up no matter what you do but its just a matter of not responding everytime by feeding (unless he might be going through a growth spurt).

Does he seem to be feeding well during the day?

Also want to say them waking up towards the morning all grizzly & unable to settle is VERY common... towards the morning they are in light sleep & its as if they don't know how to get back to sleep. Both my girls did it.... they slept like rubbish towards the morning & sometimes were up as early as 4.30am as well. Gas was a big problem so I burped like crazy throughout the day, peddled legs & all that to try & get it all out before they would go to sleep for the night.

Layla

[daniel'smom]

Thanks, Layla, for the advice!

We're still waking up early here...
I agree with you that the 3:30 feed is too early but I'm not sure he'll settle without a feed at that point. I'll try tomorrow. Then if he's awake until 4:30 would you feed then?

This morning was 12:30 feed, 3:30 feed awake till 4:30 when I reswaddled/changed diaper, asleep until 5:30, finally got him up at 5;30. AARGH!!!!!

In answer to your questions: he eats well during the day (every 3 hours, is now eating both sides, is gaining weight well), no real problems with gas. He was on zantac earlier but haven't seemed to have reflux problems since then. He doesn't seem uncomfortable in the early mornings, either. I haven't tried the DF b/c occasionally he'll get out of schedule and wake around 10:30/11 when I feed him, and it doesn't seem to make a difference in the NW's....

I think my plan for tomorrow is try to resettle at 3:30, feed/diaper change/reswaddle at 4:30, hope he goes back to sleep he never eats really well at 3:30 and when he does eat then he usually poops!! Or has a really wet diaper b/c he's fed twice....

I am just getting really tired of this. Any idea at what age it changes??? I hope it changes....

Rachel

[Layla]

If shh/pat wouldn't settle him by 4.30 then I would probably feed

Any idea at what age it changes???

It will change! He's still pretty young.... there is always something that wakes them up at night but as long as you don't respond to him by feeding him at every awakening then it will be easier to teach him that night time is for sleep . They are changing so much in the first couple of years... for us things kinda came together around the 5.5month mark. We still had night feeds until 8 months (well 1 night feed until 8 months).

Hang in there... it gets easier. Try to settle at 3.30 rather than feed & see how you go

Layla

[daniel'smom]

thanks again for all the advice--it's so helpful!!... here's how it's been going.

two nights ago...john woke at 11:30 and ate well (weird, cause it was an hour earlier than usual), and had a little trouble settling but settled okay. then he woke at probalby 3:30 and I ignored him until he cried around 4:!5. tried offering the binky but NO. so I fed him and he ate well and WENT BACK TO SLEEP!!!!! and slept till 6:30!!!!! i thought he was up for the day so i nursed him in bed but we both fell asleep until 7:30. wow. so much better than before!!!!!!

we had a weird night last night...asleep at 5:30 (he refused to nap in the afternoon and was ridiculously OT!), awake at 10 to eat (and ate well) then he woke at 1, and I was STRONG and FIRM and said "NO." I gave him his binky and put my hand on his belly and talked to him and told him it was time to sleep. And he did!!! For about 15 minutes, anyway. I kept it up, though, and he slept on and off until 3:30 when he cried and I fed him (and he ate well!) and he slept until 6:30!!

i might try a dreamfeed for the next few nights, because then i could push him if he wakes in the middle of the night. i'm thinking bed at 6:30, DF at 10/10:30, eat at 2:30/3, awake at 6:30/7. Sound reasonable?

I'm really hoping that this is the key to helping him sleep...just not letting him snack but need to be REALLY hungry. my hope is that he'll learn that it's no fun to wake up just for a binky and patting, and he'll wake just when he's hungry. well, we can hope, right??? 

[Layla]

If you're going to try the DF then give it a go for a week to see if its helping or not. If setting him with shh/pat only buys 15mins or so then it could very well be that he is hungry.

Is he eating every 3hrs during the day? Both sides or 1 side? Does he seem content after a feed?

[daniel'smom]

I figure if he keeps waking even with the DF, I can at least push him to a later feeding time...will let you know how it goes. Shh/pat doesn't really work for us so I just put my hand on him and use the binky, and say "Calm down" over and over if he needs it. (If I pat his back it actually works great--but there's nowhere he likes being patted when he's lying on his back!)

He sometimes takes only one side--sometimes both but usually not complete on both sides. He seems full and I can't get him to take anymore than that. He is a spitter and spits a good bit. I often try to feed him before a nap as well, but he doesn't take much. He eats every 3 hrs.

As I write this, he woke early (9:15) and DH is in there with the binky. John has a cold (just what we need!!!!) so he's stuffy and probably isn't sleeping well. I have visions of a not-so-great night in my future!!!

Wish me luck!