19 mo old wakes SCREAMING

[JennR]

Hello,

I've read the other posts regarding this problem, but I'm confused because there has been so many resolutions, I don't know where to start.  She goes down with a bottle (this is another issue I have yet to tackle) and is happy for the most part and sleeps well, but then wakes up screaming.

Please help

[momofclaire]

Hi Jenn, and welcome to the boards. 

Can you tell me a little about her day?  Is she taking one nap or two? What time does she wake and go to sleep?  Does she wake screaming throughout the night or just in the morning?  I am assuming that she falls asleep with the bottle. Does she do this for her nap as well? 

I am sorry for all the questions but it really helps to have all the information.  I can see why you would be confused.  There are many resolutions, I guess that would be because there are many types of kids.   
Myia

[JennR]

Hi Myia,

Thanks for responding!  I have heard such great stuff about this site!

Here's her schedule:

Wake between 6-6:45 am
She then drinks her milk and watches cartoons in my bed while I get ready for work.
7:30 breakfast
8:15 she goes to daycare
9:00 snack
11:30 lunch
Between 12 and 12:30 she goes down for a nap
She will wake anywhere from 1-2:30
3:00 snack
5:30 dinner
7:00 bath
7:30 bed

Her naps at daycare are different every day.  She will usually sleep for about an hour on average.  She does love it there though   She does not get a bottle at daycare, and they have just this week stop giving her her soother at nap time.

When she's home with me on the weekends I try to keep the same schedule as the daycare for consistency.  She goes down for her nap with a bottle, which I started recently because she was screaming when I tried to put her down - I figured I would deal with THAT later.  She will sleep for 2-3 hours at home, and she only has the one nap.  At night she goes down with the bottle too, and I have to sneak into her room after she's asleep to retrieve it   She has just started to sleep through the night again without the night wakings.  I had taken her night light out of her room which seemed to help her sleep through the night. 

When she wakes up screaming in the morning I have tried soothing her back to sleep, rocking her back to sleep, and even bringing her into my bed....nothing works, she just wants to be up and starting her day.  I don't know if she's over tired, going through separation anxiety, or what!

Tonight when I put her down I decided to put her night light back in room and some soft toys in her crib.  Hopefully she will wake up happy tomorrow...

Is that enough info?  Thanks for your help

Jenn

[momofclaire]

Jenn,
I am thinking she is overtired.  I think her bedtime of 7:30 might be a bit too late especially if she is waking closer to 6. Are you wanting her to sleep a little later than 6? 

I would attempt to put her to bed a little earlier.  Does the daycare give you daily activity sheets?  If so and they tell you how long her nap was, I would certainly put her to bed pretty early on days when she only sleeps an hour or 1.5 hours.  I wouldn't keep her up till 7:30 as most babies her age need 11.5 hours of nighttime sleep which means she would be in bed at 6:30 if she was up at 6:00.  KWIM?  She probably needs about 2 hours of daytime sleep to avoid becoming overtired.  Claire was still taking a 3 hour nap at that age although she has always been on the high end of sleep needs.

If she wakes at 6:45 and has gone to bed at 7:30 she may be getting enough sleep.  Does she always wake up screaming?  Is it like she is in pain, still tired, or just ready to hurry and start the day? 

Oh, and if she dosesn't need the bottle to go down for naps at daycare I certainly wouldn't be giving it to her at home.  You will want to stop that bottle to sleep thing so since the daycare has taken care of it on their end you should probably follow suit.   

[JennR]

Hi Myia,

Yeah, I was thinking over tired too, but I tried putting her to bed at 7:00 pm and it was a battle of screaming, and she didn't actually go to sleep until 8:30 pm.  I would like her to sleep until 7am so wouldn't a 7:30 pm bed time be sufficient?  And I can't really get her to bed any earlier by the time we get home, have dinner, etc.  The daycare does write down how long she sleeps for, and lately it's been for about 2 hours, but sometimes it's less.  Like Friday for example, she only slept for about 40 minutes so I tried to put her to bed early and she screamed until 8:30 pm.  And, she does get some really good naps in on the weekends.

Her waking screams are not pain, they sound like temper tantrum type screams.  This morning she woke screaming at 5:15 am and I tried the w/i w/o method.  She fell back asleep about an hour later and woke around 8:40 am.

I would love to stop giving her the bottle at sleep but I'm not comfortable doing that yet, until I can get her to stop screaming when she wakes - one battle at a time type thing.  The daycare didn't take care of that for me because it was something I just started a week ago  It helps soothe her to sleep, otherwise she screams and it takes me at least an hour to get her to go to sleep

What do you think

[mari]

Do you think that she could be waking and needing a bottle to resettle?  I would certainly ditch the bottle, I think it will help matters.  you could try Gadual withdrawal or WIWO to help her to sleep.

[momofclaire]

I agree with Mari.  The bottle is probably helping your cause less than you think and it might be the root of the problem.  If she goes to sleep with the bottle then when she wakes she thinks she needs it to go back to sleep. Putting her to bed later, right now, will only make the overtired problem worse. You should base her bedtime on when she wakes in order to prevent overtiredness.  If you find that you are in a good pattern, without props, you can work to push her sch back a bit.

[JennR]

Hi Mari,

I don't think she needs the bottle to resettle, as I have tried to give her one before and she didn't want it.  Last night with the wi/wo I didn't give a bottle and she did settle back down on her own, so that actually does give me hope

What is gradual withdrawl?  That sounds like something I would want to try....I am nervous

Thanks, Jenn

[JennR]

What time do you think is a good bed time for her?  7:00pm?

Thanks, Jenn

[mari]

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

There is the link for WIWO and Gradual withdrawal.

[JennR]

Great!  Thank you!