3 year old fighting bedtime

[ForEzra]

We are going nuts here, our 3 year old son is going through all sorts of stuff recently and bedtime is one of them.  He has had his moments in the past, but we conquered most of those with simple tactics.  Nothing is working now. 

Here is what is going on in our house:
Ezra turned 3 in August
He started potty training mid-August (mastered pee pee in the potty, but no poo poo)
He started going to preschool 2 days a week for only 3 hours each of those days (he loves it)
He has a baby sister who is 7 months (he adores her and she loves him)
We are in the process of decreasing his naptime (1:30-3:30) to only an hour to see if it will help at night

Then last week he started having lots of accidents.  When we put him to bed he is getting up 4-5 times to go potty before FINALLY going to sleep around 10 pm.  He will call for us over and over, continue to ask for things, etc. etc.  We take things away and that doesn't work, we've tried rewarding him when he stays in bed but that doesn't work.  It's really exhausting!   When he gets up to go potty, he really goes....I stand there and listen.  Just crazy!  He does get a sippy cup to take to bed, but it's not like it's full....it's just for the middle of the night thirst craving we all get.

I just need some ideas on a new strategy to get him to go to sleep.  He doesn't act tired at all!  We limit TV time in the evenings, we read books instead.  I've tried the massage, the bath, the warm milk.  I'm so lost!

Thanks ladies!

[Layla]

I think the nap might be the reason he's not falling asleep until 10pm & looking for excuses to stay up. Its up to you how you want to do this... you could try to shorten the nap to 1hr to see if he will settle sooner but unfortunately for some 3yo's even 1hr is too long & still causes late bedtimes. If thats the case you might want to try 30-45mins or no nap & introduce quiet time instead. You would have to do an earlier bedtime as he is likely to get very cranky towards the end of the day & allow for a 12hr night. He might still need a nap every 3rd or 4th day & if he's totally miserable I would give him the chance to sleep but no longer than 1.25hrs.

This is what I do with my 2.5yo... she's napping 5/7 days & on the days she doesn't nap she will go to bed at 6pm. If her nap is any more than 1.25hrs long, she's either taking forever to fall asleep or is up at 5.30 in the morning ready to start the day.

What time does he wake & what time is bedtime at the moment?

hth a little
Layla

[ForEzra]

Thank you Layla for your reply! 

Ezra usually wakes up around 7:00 am everyday no matter what time he goes to bed at night.  He's been going to bed anywhere between 7:30-8:30 at night.  He is also waking up in the middle of the night for stuff.....sometimes it's to go potty which is perfectly acceptable, but other times it's for silly reasons like his blanket or teddy bear fell on the floor and he wants us to pick it up.  Last night he wanted to come sleep in our bed which he's done a handful of times since the baby has been born. 

We tried no nap yesterday and he went to bed without any fuss, but he seems over tired today.  He didn't want to go to preschool and screamed and cried to go home and go to bed.  School is only twice a week and it seems to always wear him out so he really needs a nap on those days.  I think I'll try your suggestion on cutting the nap to an hour or just to every couple days to see if that helps. 

Now if only I could get my 7 month old to stop waking at 4:00 am to eat, fall asleep and be up for the day by 6:15!  This momma is tired!

Thanks again!

[Goldmum]

We have been going through the same thing with our 2.5 year old DD. She was fighting her nap til so late in the afternoon that it was really affecting her bed time and she was trying every trick in the book to stay up (potty, random questions about what I was doing, drinks, dropped teddies etc!) In the end we cut her nap completely and just have some quiet time late in the afternoon when she starts to feel a bit cranky. We also introduced a reward chart for going to bed without any fuss - she gets a sticker the next morning and once she's collected 10 stickers we are going to the zoo (she just loves animals). It took a few days, but we have now had 6 straight nights with no bedtime antics. Every day she gets very excited that she gets another sticker and talks about going to see the animals when she has some more stickers. It did take a while for her to adjust to having no nap, but her nighttime sleep has now settled back down and she is getting a good stretch of 12-13 hours again which is lovely for all of us! Of course her bedtime performance has now just shifted forward so she creates havoc during her wind down for bed instead. But hey she is only 2...!!

[Layla]

Let me know how it goes

[Carmela's Mom]

How is it going?  We had the same issues with my daughter when she turned 3.  We went down to 1.5 hour nap, then 1 hour and then 30 mins.  NOTHING worked so I finally just gave her rest time and let her watch a tv show.  She went to bed at 7:00 pm with no issues.