HELP! All out nap wars at 1 yr. old - out of ideas!

[katemom]

My lo has always been pretty great at going down for naps as long as I time things right and everything.  She's been an independent sleeper for the majority of her life, but this new crazy behavior is really scaring me.  This is what happens during all naptimes now:  As soon as I enter her room, or get near her crib, she starts to cry.  When I lay her down, she immediately stands up and cries/screams as hard as she can.  If I pick her up, she still screams, if I put her down, she screams more, if I try to settle her by hugging her (while she stands), sing to her, rub her back or head, talk to reassuringly, she still screams.  She will continue to scream until I take her out of the room and engage her another activity so that she knows that naptime is for sure over.  Even if I try to read her a book quietly in her room, she'll keep screaming because we're still in the naptime area.  The only way it's worked to have her sleep after this is for me to walk out and if she collapses and falls asleep in the first 5-10 minutes, I know she's okay, but if it goes beyond that, she can go on for 30 minutes.  Which I don't let it get to now that I know that's what can happen.  I feel like she is quickly developing negative associations with her room/crib/and naptimes because it has become such a traumatic thing (for both of us!)

I don't want her going to sleep this way - what else can I do?  When I read about PU/PD or WI/WO it sounds like you do those techniques to calm them and then leave them alone again.  Well, she never calms, so what can I do?

I know that her schedule has a lot to do with this violent protesting, because it hasn't been working for the last week.  But I'm trying desperately to experiment to get it right, but EVERY nap is now like this, so I feel like I can't make any progress in trying to figure things out and help her!

What can I do in this situation to help her while I get her schedule worked out?

thanks for any advice, and sorry to be posting so much lately, I'm just out of ideas,

katemom

[mari]

So sorry that you are having troubles, I'm sure that they are going to be short lived.

How many naps is she taking and what time does she wake, nap and bedtime?

[katemom]

Hi, I've posted my schedule issues elsewhere, so I wasn't trying to double-post...

but I know it's an integral part of the screaming problem,...so we've been all over the place with naps.  My lo typically wakes around 7am and used to go down 4 hours later, then I'd shorten her a.m. nap to try to get a p.m. nap, but I haven't had sucess with p.m. naps for a week, and then she also started to refuse the a.m. nap as well...

So today she woke up at 7:15am, I tried putting her down for her nap after 4:35 A time and she didn't protest!  Unfortunately, she only slept an hour, but I was giving it a go with only 1 nap, so now I'll have to use a really early bedtime, like probably 6-6:15 pm tonight, which should still give her a total of 13:30 hours total for the day.  I planned on trying again tomorrow for 1 nap, but don't know when to offer it for the best chances of getting a longer nap out of her.  At least the way I timed it today she didn't start her recent war strategies! 

Anyway, any suggestions appreciated.

katemom

[M and N's Mom]

While you are figuring out her routine, could you build in some play time in her room so she doesn't only spend negative time in there?  Maybe with the lights on and playing on the floor together so she knows she isn't going to nap.  Then leave for a while (maybe 1/2h) before going back for nap time.  Just trying to think of ideas that might help.

[mari]

I think that the 2-1 switch is probably here.  Perhaps you could try to give her an earlier am nap, maybe a short one around 10ish, do you think she would go then?  But just for half an hour or so and then try to get her down for 12.30-1pm and hopefully she will go a little easier for you.  Do her bedtime no later than 5 hours after she wakes from her pm nap.

[katemom]

Hi again, and I appreciate the suggestions.  She will unfortunately not go down that early for an am nap.   She's been used to closer to 4 hours of A time for over a month.  I think she's ready for closer to 4.5 hours now, but that doesn't really leave room for a p.m nap, and she refuses them any time I offer them anyway.  So I've been trying one nap, but what if she only sleeps an hour?  I've been doing an even earlier bedtime to compensate, but then her wake-up time has been inching forward a little, which is NOT good since daylight savings is tonight!  this is such a mess,

katemom

[mari]

If she only does 1 hour do an early bedtime of 6ish.  If she wakes too early then try the early short am nap.  it will take time to adjust from 2-1 so there will be lots of trial and error, even when you think that switch has happened she might call for a little am nap now and then.