How do I get my 14 month old to nap in cot......

[ssal]

Hi there
This is my first time on here, a neighbour of mine has lent me the BW book and I wish I had known about it when my baby was born.  My little girl is now coming up for 14 months old and she still won't take her daytime naps in her cot.  I have to use her pram in our hallway.  She sleeps all night in her cot from 7 to 6.  I suppose she still doesn't really fall asleep at night totally independently but is no bother to put down.  She still has a bottle, but she doesn't fall asleep completely at it, she has a cuddle, burps, we put her sleeping bag on and then read her a story (with no rocking) then we place her in cot and she just goes to sleep.
My query is more on the daytime naps, because she is up early she still needs 2 naps.  She has never been good at napping long and tends to sleep for about 40 mins although this has been getting better recently.  If I try to do the pick up/put down method I know it will take a long time with Kirsty, probably over an hour, by this time she will be past going to sleep and then after all that trying she won't have had a sleep at all.  When we have tried her in the cot during the day she gets so worked up and breaks her heart.  I admit I haven't tried it properly at all, I just wondered if anyone had any ideas about what I should do after trying to get her to go to sleep in cot for say an hour and then she is completely past her sleepy window!!  Hope this makes sense, I really would be grateful for any input anyone may have.
Sarah

[Layla]

Hi Sarah & welcome to the boards

I guess the most straight answer is that you should ditch the pram & do ALL naps in the cot for at least 2 weeks to teach her how to sleep in there.

I understand what you mean about her not napping & its likely that she won't take naps but you can then move her whole schedule up and you'll probably have to do some earlier bedtime to avoid her getting very overtired.

What time are the naps now? At 14months alot of babies are starting to make the transition to 1 nap. She will probably still need 2 naps... a short catnap about 40-45mins long & a longer afternoon nap (about 1.5hrs long). So something like this:

6am - wakes
9.30-10:15 - morning nap
1:30-3pm - afternoon nap
6.30ish - bedtime

So around 9ish, I would start your windown routine, etc... & then place her in the cot. You could do either wi/wo, pd or gradula withdrawal. Here's a link to the sleep training methods for toddlers : https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

So pick the one you are most comfortable with & I have to stress this... YOU NEED TO BE CONSISTENT & DO THE SAME THING FOR ALL NAPS!!! She will pick up on your consistency & you shouldn't change your method of sleep training for at least 2 weeks. Also don't pick her up 1hr later & push her in the pram just to get a nap out of her.... this will really confuse her & the crying she would have done for that hour is a bit of a waste.

If she doesn't fall asleep for her morning nap then try for another nap say around 11am... if she wakes up at 40-45mins, do the same thing to extend the nap. You might have to watch her cues as well until she is sleep trained so if you feel that she needs a catnap in the afternoon to tie her over until bedtime then try for another nap or othewise do a very early bedtime (as early as 6pm) cause you don't want her up until her normal bedtime on just 1-45min nap.

I hope I covered everything. Again, just wanted to repeat that its extremely important to be consistent!!!

Good luck & please post back with any questions or progress

Layla

[ssal]

Hi Layla, Thank you so much for your reply I am very grateful.  It all makes so much sense to me when I read it, but I can never envisage Kirsty being able to sleep in her cot during the day.  In answer to your question about the time of her naps, if she wakes at 6 they are usually:

8.30 am - 9.15 am (sometimes shortly, sometimes longer, but never longer than 1 hour and a quarter)
1.30 pm - 2.15 pm (again this can sometimes be as short as 30 mins, but as long as 1 hour and a quarter)

Today for example she only slept for half an hour both morning and afternoon.

I so want to be able to do this, the only problem is that because I have left it so late I am now back at work for 3 days a week and Kirsty's grandparents help out with childcare, I don't think it is fair to ask them to do the sleep training.  Is it worth me doing it on my days off, i.e. Thurs through to Sunday, so 4 days and see what happens in that time.

Thanks again and look forward to hearing from you again.
Sarah   

[Layla]

I don't know . I think its better for everyone to do the same thing....

Give it a try for the 4 days you are off & maybe have the grandparents there with you as well so that they can see what you are doing & will do the same on the days you are at work

I would probably try to stretch her morning nap until its close to 9-9.30am so that she is not awake for a long time in the afternoon & then before bed.... so try to spread out her naps so that her morning activity time is 3ish hrs, in the afternoon about 3.5hrs & same before bedtime

Have a chat to grandparents & see what they say as well.

I don't think its too late for sleep training. Some toddlers are rocked to sleep for 17-18months & some beyond that... but now that you want to sleep train you really need to be consistent & she will learn

Let me know how you go

[ssal]

Hi again

Update ....  As I explained Kirsty is an early riser, but the last 2 mornings she has woken at 5.30 am and no signs of her going back to sleep, so not good.  It's not just that my husband and I aren't keen to rise this early, she is still clearly in need of some more sleep herself, as soon as she is up and about she is rubbing her eyes etc etc.  Anyway, I tried putting her for her morning nap in her cot today at 9.00 am.  To start with I thought it might work, she kind of moved around in the cot and she wasn't crying all the time which I was surprised about.  When she stood up and got worked up I then would just place her down and say to her she was just going to have a little sleep and I would see her soon, but then as the time wore on she got very upset and by 10.00 am was howling and it just seemed she was getting more and more annoyed with me.  I then took her back downstairs and she had her snack and a drink.  Then she was clearly tired again (remember she had been awake since 5.30) so I tried her back in cot but I am sad to say I gave up after another 20 minutes as she was getting more and more hysterical.  I resorted to the buggy again and she was asleep within 5 mins and slept for 1 hour 15 mins.  I was also upset, as I'm not very strong and just hate seeing her get so worked up, which is why I am in this predicament in the first place I expect, a bad case of accidental parenting.  I didn't have the nerve to do it all again in the afternoon so I used buggy.  If I had kept on trying I am convinced she wouldn't have had any sleep in the morning and maybe not any the whole day.

Do you think when she wakens so early and won't go back to sleep it is because she doesn't like being in her cot.  I can't understand this as I would have thought we would have been up a few times each night if this was the case, as she must come out of a deep sleep at times and then manage to drift off again.  She was sleeping by 7.20 pm tonight so we'll see what tomorrow brings...

I have heard people say that their kids refused to go down in cot for naps during day, but were fine at night.  It would just be so much better for Kirsty (and myself) if when she was tired we could put her down anywhere (in cot, or buggy if out and about) and she would realise that she just needs to close her eyes and have a nap, without all the fighting of sleep like it is a bad thing.

What do you advice, any words of encouragement?  I would be so grateful for any words of wisdom you have.

Thanks
Sarah

[Layla]

Sarah.... I don't believe she is waking up at 5.30am because she doesn't like her cot... it might be related to other things (such as her taking short naps because she is in the pram) or she could be teething or that she is overtired.

I don't think you should do anything until you are 100% ready yourself. I know its going to be really hard on both of you. Its a habit & they are hard to break.. especially in a toddler.

Yes, some babies are fine to sleep all night in their cots & not during the day. My 2.5yo a few months ago stopped taking naps & 3 weeks later of no napping... I resorted to letting her sleep with me in my bed. It hasn't been an issue at night at all BUT its also something I didn't mind doing (she's not napping anymore everyday though). I don't think Isabella (or Jasmine) will sleep in the pram/buggy or anywhere (other than the car maybe if they are exhausted) cause its just not something they are used to. Babies can defferentiate between day & night sleep so it is very possible for her not to want to sleep in her cot during the day & only at night

It will be hard work & as I mentioned earlier perhaps even no naps for a couple of days but if you are serious about this... you really need to commit to it!!!

{{{{HUGS}}}}