PLEASE HELP! MY 1 YEAR OLD DOES NOT WANT TO SLEEP IN HIS BED

[rina young]

Hi

I am very new to the site. You all sound so wonderful and inspiring. Ever since i went back to work, when my son was 10 months he will not sleep in his own bed. He sleeps fine in our bed, but it is taking a toll on my marriage. I am really desperate. If you had similar experiences please help.

thanks so much

J. D's mommy

[Two mummies]

Hi Rina,

Does your lo have a cot or a bed?

Soph

[mari]

Hello Rina, and welcome to the site.

Just another couple of questions.

Does he go to sleep independently?  Is he alone in your bed before you go to bed, or do you all go to bed together?  Also, could you post his daily routine, wakeup times, nap times and bedtimes.  Does he wake at all during the night when he is in your bed?

Sorry, I'm a bit nosey!    But it will help us to get a better picture and hopefully we can help you.

[rina young]

hI MARI,
i don't even know if i'm doing this reply thing right. thanks so much for responding.
John david does not know how to go to sleep on his own. I have to rock him to sleep and then put him in my bed. If I try and put him in his crib he wakes up and cries.

He usually wakes up at 7:oo am naps around 9 am and 2:00 pm. He naps in our bed too.

What should I Do?

Thanks Thanks Thanks

[mari]

ok, this is what I think might work. 

Get a put up bed and put it in his room next to his crib.  Lay him in his crib, don't rock him, just lay beside him and reassure him that it's ok, he's just going to sleep.  He might not sleep, he might cry, but you are with him, reassuring him all the time.  Sleep next to him the whole time if you think it might help him to get used to it, you might have to, but we can work on getting you back into your own bed when he is settled. It will take a while, but do it for naps and bedtime and be consistent.  I will keep a check on this thread and try to help you through it.

Good luck

[Two mummies]

Great advice from Mari!!! I guess just a pep talk from me....just remember you are right next to him, he has support, even if he is crying and getting upset it's not because he is being hurt or is in pain or anything like that he is just complaining that the situation is changing.

It might take a few days for him to slowly get used to the new routine and you will have to have lots of courage and strength to get through it. Try and talk to your partner before you start so that you both agree and can support each other through his transition.

And as Mari said keep in touch with us and we will give you lots of support and try to help you anyway we can!

Soph

[rina young]

Mari and Two Mummies

I think that is a great idea.

We are going to try it. Thank u so much for taking the time to respond. We will let u know how it goes.

Take care

[mari]

Good luck Rina.  I'm not online much at the weekends so don't think that I'm neglecting you!  I do check in from time to time. I hope things go ok.  Get to bed early and set yourself ready for a long night, that's how I coped.

Mari

[mari]

How are things going Rina?

[rina young]

Hi Mari,

Thanks for asking. I took J.D for a play date on Thursday. My friend forgot to mention her daughter was sick. Sure enough J.D came down with a horrible cough. So we didn't try anything new. He will at least spend some time in his crib now without crying. He will at least sleep in there for two hours. It's the next part that gets me. I am so tired that I just put him in our bed. We are going to try again soon when he is better. It's times like this that remind me to be grateful for what I have. i take for granted when my little guy is well and healthy because thats the stuff that really matters.  thanks again. How are you and your family?

[mari]

Oh, poor little thing, I hope he is well soon.

Start fresh when he is better, don't rush, do it when you are both ready.

We are all fine here thanks.  Nathan is practising for the school play (he is Narrator, a come down from 2 years ago when he got the leading part! (Joseph) Alex is still Alex!