I am going to rip my hair out!!!!

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

gage was a perfect sleeper until we went to a toddler bed  3 mths ago. I have been putting him back in his bed for both naps and bed 9 times out of 10, and I am tired!!!!!! I do exactly what I am supposed to do.... no eye contact, no response etc. and it still doesnt work. First he thinks it's funny, then he gets ED, and then after about an hour or so I give him water to cool him down and he is out. I am trying to adjust his schedule, but there isnt enough hours in the day.

Ideal routine
7:30 wake
1-3 pm nap
8:30 bed

But this how it has been
7:45 I have to wake him
2-3:45 I have drag him out of bed
10:30pm bed

What am I doing wrong. This is getting progressivly worse! Please help.... people are telling me to spank him, and I REALLY don't want to.

[Katet]

From my experience the no eye contact, put straight back to bed doesn't work, they don't learn to relax & only fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.

What did is work on longer time in there helping settle (after we had problems around 2yo), then saying I just need to go to the toilet & will be right back, duck around the corner, back in in no time & say "thanks for staying in bed, see told you I'd be back" & gradually extending to the point it was "I will be back to check" & that check time moved to 5mins & would go back & check until he was asleep & then gradually it moved to about 15mins & mostly he is asleep by the time I check... I still check as I tell him that is what I'm doing & if for some reason after I've sat done stories, turned out light, rubbed back for a few minutes & he seems not ready for sleep, I go back much sooner. Has been working a treat for months for us... we still do get the occasional comes out, but it is only once & usually it is because he needs to go to the toilet (he has been dry at night since 2 & 4mo)

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

I think you are right that the "putting him back in bed" process just exhausts him. I think it even gets gage more wound up before finally crahsing. Thank you for giving me another alternative. I love your idea. I think your idea will work with Gage, but I am afraid it will become a lengthy bedtime routine for him. With that said, I am willing to try anything right now. Tomorrow night I will try it. Will it be okay if I contact you if questions arise? Thanks again 

[Katet]

I found it lengthy to start, but far less stressful than taking back & forth, which I did 2 nights.
I actually sat on a chair with my discman & listened to CD's & just left for really short periods in the start & some nights was probably in his room as he fell asleep, but it was the overall thing.

[Mum to cool dude]

Big hugs. 10.30 pm is waaaaay too late for the both of you !

I think his nap is very late. It sounds to me that he's overtired and too wired to settle easily. If you can manage to get him to catch up with his sleep and give him extra time to settle both at nap and sleep time you may have less of a struggle at night