Please help me get him to sleep

[daisymelan]

As you may or may not know, I have been around this site for quite some time... over two years now.

My son Owen has never been a great sleeper, but between the ages of 9 months to 12 months he slept through the night.  Since then, it has been a constant battle.  The past two nights he has woken up almost every hour.  Dp timed it last night and he woke up every hour except for 4 and 6am. 

He falls asleep ok, but when he wakes, he wakes screaming and we have to go settle him.

He used to use his sippy to soothe himself, but he woke up often in the night to pee, so about 3 weeks ago, we removed that from his room.  If he needs a drink now, he simply tells us when we go in, but we maybe only have to give it to him twice a night.

He naps anywhere from 1 hour a day to 2.5 hrs.  It never makes much difference.

He goes down to sleep ok.  Sometimes we need to go in, but it's never a big deal and it never takes long.  When he wakes, we go in and tuck him back in and are gentle and kind.  If he is still whining and freaking we get sterner and sterner.  It doesn't matter if I'm sweet as pie, he will not go back down.  It takes us being strict to get him to lay down and stay there. 

Can anyone help me?  I will answer any and all questions you may have to help me with this.  TIA

[andibig]

Oh hun loads of hugs to you .

OK just a few questions and then we can come up with a battle plan .

What is his routine inc meals,wake up times?
What sleep training have you done before?
Is he in a bed or cot?
Does he have a lovey/paci etc?
Can he self settle at all and can he fall asleep independently?
What is his winddown routine for naps and nights?

Sorry for all the questions but hopefully the answers can help.
Hope to hear from you soon sweetie
 

[daisymelan]

Thank you for taking interest.  The more questions the better.

What is his routine inc meals,wake up times?
6am Wake and sippy of milk
Eats breakfast whenever he feels like it.  Usually picks at some dry cereal and eats a banana.
12pm  Lunch
1pm Nap
3pm wake/sippy of juice
4:15 snack
5:30 dinner
7:30 bed

What sleep training have you done before?
We've always followed BW since I found it when he was 3 months.  Before that I was an APing machine!  LOL  He slept wherever I could get him to sleep... usually the swing.  He slept through for three months, but then we moved in with my sister and felt like we had to comfort him every time he woke because he slept next to their bedroom.  He has always been a REALLY light sleeper and so he was up constantly with us ushering in to soothe him.  We lived with them for about 4.5 months and that's when I think all the major damage was done.   It may be worth noting that when our heat kicks in, the simple noises that accompany it wake him up, and it's not loud by any standards.

Is he in a bed or cot?
Toddler bed and has been since he was 17 months

Does he have a lovey/paci etc?
He hasn't had a paci since he turned 1, has a mild attachment to his train that comes and goes

Can he self settle at all and can he fall asleep independently?
He settles himself to bed at night.  Sometimes we may have to go in 3 times to settle him, but he goes down.  He still uses a diaper at nights and waits to have it on to poo, so we usually take a diaper in with us at this time.

What is his winddown routine for naps and nights?  Naps we don't have much of a routine.  He usually goes straight down for naps, or else I have to go resettle once or twice.  At bed time we have some quiet time and cuddles, usually read a few books and then tuck him into bed. 

I think that's all so far, let me know if there is anything else.  This isn't a new problem, in fact, it's rather old and annoying.  The reason I'm tackling it is because last week I went back to work full time and I just can't cope without sleep.  Dp and I are struggling bad with this.

Thank you again.  I will try to wait patiently for your reply.

Edited to add:

We give him a sippy of milk before bed during book time. 

[Wilsmon]

have you tried some white noise also? 

[daisymelan]

Hi Stacy, thanks for your words.....  I will attempt to reply.

When he wakes, he only asks for water maybe 10-20% of the time.  All the other wakings he doesn't ask for it.  And when he does ask for it, he will drink about half a measuring cup of water.  So I do think he actually wakes thirsty... his dad is the same way. 

He does enjoy having his evening milk.  He has a bit of an oral fixation I think and he enjoys the soothing sucking motions of his milk from the sippy.  I could try and move that earlier if you think that would help. 

So, what should I do to stop him waking?  Or when he does wake, how should I comfort him?



Wilsmom, we turn on the bathroom fan which is just outside his bedroom door.  I think that provides enough white noise from us.  Maybe not?   

[daisymelan]

I like the idea of putting a monitor in his room.  We'll need to go find one... we already have two in the house, so it may not work great, but I hope it works.

Everything is on halt right now because the poor little turd sounds like a seal when he coughs.  I will come right back the moment he is cleared up.  I am absolutely determined to get this figured out.

[andibig]

Aww bless him.
Can't really add anymore to what Stacy said-LOL.
My thought was that he needs your or DPs presence to go back to sleep.Sasha has water by the side of her bed so if she needs a drink she gets it herself.
something i thought of regarding white noise.during the summer we had a fan in DDs room as it gets fairly warm in her room.but its quite handy for DH and me as we both work shifts and on the early shift it helps cover up the noise we make!!!
Hope he feels better soon.

[daisymelan]

Thanks Andrea and Stacy.  I will update more as soon as his seal disappears. 

Andrea, I think you are right, he does need one of us to fall back asleep.  That's the part I need to fix.   

[andibig]

hope he feels better soon.