Did I switch to one nap too soon? Everyone has gone wrong for 13 month old

[jfbd6805]

Dear all

Well, here I am again after almost 2 months of settled down sleep it has all gone pear shaped again. My DS is 13 months and we just started doing 1 nap only a week and a half ago. However, he is whiny and clingy a lot more now, fushy when put in the car seat to run errands (he wasn't before), and is up a lot at night (last night from 2:30 till almost 5, and Sat night from 1:45 till 6am screaming and crying). Developmentally he started walking about 3 weeks ago (around the same time he started to refuse his afternoon nap) and I think he is teeting his molars (he literally bit a chunk out of his crib). I have been giving him motrin if needs be for that to ease the pain.

Our old routine was heavenly and worked well until he flat out started refusing his PM nap. In the morning he would wake between 5:30 and 6, stay up for 3.5 hours, nap for 1.5 hours, stay up for 4 hours, nap for 1.5 hours and then stay up till bedtime (about 3.5 - 4 hours later).

Since the switch he is up around 6 - 6:30, I tried to keep him up as long as possible and have made it to 4.5 hours, then he will nap at either 10:30 or 11 for 1.5 hours sometimes 1 hr 40, then he is up for rest of day which is a really long awake period of at least 6 hours or more.

It is awful. I just don't know what to do. The nightwakings are so bad right now. I have been using the heater as white noise to help him back to sleep (I know, a prop... bad but I am sooo sleepy) but if that doesn't work then he is up for at least 2 hours crying. I use the WI/WO method and PD ... so I walk in, put him down and say 'its sleepytime' and walk out, count 40 seconds to see how his cries are and then go back in.

He hasn't slept through the night since he stopped taking him PM nap. He usually crashes when he goes to bed but always seems to wake up between 1:45 and 3. He cries out very frustrated and doesn't seem to even try to put himself back to sleep.

I was so concerned about  his out of character behavior I called his Pedi on the weekend but he said it just sounded like sleep issues not an ear infection.

I have no idea what I am doing - please help!

[skatty]

Hi, we also have switched to one nap at around 12 months and after her nap I would either try for a catnap at about 4hrs A time (walking in the pram, would wake her after 20 mins which would buy us 2 hrs for tea and bed routine) or would put her to bed for the night at 4½ hours A time after her nap. It was an extemely early bedtime but it was only for a month or so and we have managed to get through this transition without any NWs and her wake up has gone from 6ish to nearer 8 (but we have started waking her at 7.30am to keep the days consistant).

HTH, Katt 

[waffler]

When you started to wean the naps, did you still have two naps of 1.5 hours each? I'd recommend re-introducing a shorter morning nap. At 13 months my DDs routine was as follows :

0700 wake
0920-1015 - nap
2.00-3.40 nap
7pm sleep

I'd wake her from both naps. And I weaned her morning nap, down from 55 mins to 45, then 40, then 30 and even down to 10-15 mins right up till she was 17 months old before she completely dropped the morning nap, then her afternoon nap was 2h15m and now at 20 months its 2hours.

[jfbd6805]

No we didn't exactly wean... it was more like cold turkey.

At first we started getting earlier and earlier wakings.... 5:30 then 5. So that pushed his AM nap to earlier and earlier. So instead of a 1.5 hour nap he would sleep a little longer, like 1 hr 45 or so... but then he refused his PM nap. I used to always put him down after 4 hours A time in the PM but he would wiggle during the nap routine and fuss and try to get away from me. He wouldn't settle for books like he usually does and would struggle with me while we did the nap routine. Then I would put him in his crib and he would pitch a fit for 30 mins or so until we'd give up and just put him to bed earlier in the evening (like around 6 - 6:30)

So we ended up going cold turkey.

Today he woke up super late (7:20) so I tried to put him down for his nap around 11:40 but he fought it for 20 mins before finally going to sleep at 12. So I don't know what to do! I am so confused.

Am I doing WI/WO wrong?
How long should his A time be at this age?
If I reintroduce the AM nap when should I do it (he used to nap 3.5 hours after waking in AM)?
How short should AM nap be?
How much A time in PM for PM nap?

Or should I persist with one nap?

Thanks for your insights and support.

[Layla]

{{{HUGS}}}

It sounds like he's not quiet ready for 1 nap so I would try for 2 naps again & try shortening it to about 45mins. The thing is... 1.5hr morning nap is more often too long for a pm nap in a 13mo so rather than going cold turkey you could either let him sleep all he wants in the morning & try for a catnap in the pm. Or you could start waking him up earlier from the morning nap & offer a longer pm nap or if you are going to go cold turkey then you really need to offer earlier bedtimes so that he is not awake for 6hrs before bedtime'

Am I doing WI/WO wrong?

How are you doing it?

How long should his A time be at this age?
If I reintroduce the AM nap when should I do it (he used to nap 3.5 hours after waking in AM)?
How short should AM nap be?
How much A time in PM for PM nap?

Ok... this ranges alot between babies but this is what worked for my dd. Morning A time about 3.5hrs (to be in the cot by) & then on a 45min morning nap she could do 3.5hrs A time. On a 30min morning nap she would do 3hrs A time. So if you are going to shorten the morning nap to 45mins... which is what I would recommend to help you get back on track with overtiredness, I would try something liike this:

6am - wakes
9.30-10:15 - mornign nap (you wake him up)
1:30-1:45 - afternoon nap
3-3.30 - afternoon nap ends
6.30-7pm - bedtime

On a 30min morning nap
6am - wakes
9.30-10 - morning nap
1-2.30 - afternoon nap
6.30ish - bedtime

Today he woke up super late (7:20) so I tried to put him down for his nap around 11:40 but he fought it for 20 mins before finally going to sleep at 12.

There are going to be days when he will wake later than his usual wake up time & its up to you if you want to allow him to "sleep in" and then aim for 1 nap or you could wake him up in the morning to make sure he has 2 naps. So on a day like today when he woke at 7.20, I would probably do 1 nap around 4-4.5hrs into his A time.

Personally short morning nap & long pm nap worked best for us. Some babies will still fight the afternoon nap on a short am nap OR take a short am & short pm nap but its up to you if you want to then shorten the morning nap again (to 30mins or even 20mins) and give it a few days before his 2nd nap increases or you could go cold turkey but you do need to then adjust bedtime hour to the wake up from the 1 nap he takes. If he wakes from the 1 nap at 1pm then I would put to bed no later than 5hrs A time... so that would be 6pm bedtime.

Isabella was the same age when she started fighting her pm nap on a morning nap as long as 1hr. I too went colg turkey & OMG the night wakings were horrible!!! I didn't know what was going on .... the night wakings went away as soon as I reintroduced the morning nap.

Hang in there... its a tough transition. I don't think you can totally avoid overtiredness during this transition but you can try & stay on top of it with earlier bedtimes & maybe even going back to read the baby's cues... where if he seems to be needing an afternoon nap 3hrs into his A time.. then there is no harm in trying. The wake up time with us ranged from 5.30-7am & bedtimes ranged from 5pm-7pm (although there was once a 4.30pm bedtime too).

Post back with any other q's
Layla

[jfbd6805]

Thank you Layla

I am doing WI/WO after i hear his "mad-i'm not going back to sleep mom" cry. I walk in, lay him down and say 'its sleepytime' (sometimes I don't say anything) and then I walk out, count 40 seconds to see if he calms down and go back in. Does this sound right to you? Is there something different I should be doing? It worked great a couple of months ago when I weaned him from nightfeeds but he just keeps crying now until I pick him up, sometimes 2 hours later. I just have to pick him up eventually b/c he is eating through his crib. I can't put a crib rail on b/c it is too big for the rails on the market here so I have had to tape it but he still chews it.

I went to Pedi today just in case its an ear infection but he said there was nothing wrong, not even molars! so its not even teething!!!! So... I am just clueless.

He only slept for 1.5 hours for his nap today from 12 - 1:30, he was asleep in bed by 6:45ish so it was close to a 5 hour A time. I will try to reintroduce the morning nap tomorrow but he fought his nap so bad today I am dreading it. I sooo hope he sleeps tonight. DH is out of town and I am so knackered I really need a good night myself at this point.

Should I try a 45 min AM nap tomorrow? He hasn't gone down for a nap sooner than 3.5 hours in a long, long time so I fear he is going to fight me for his PM nap even if he only gets a short AM nap.

Also, when you do the transition how many days do you do each stage? E.g. 45 min AM nap for X days, before shortening it to 30min, etc. How do you know how to time the second awake period?

Thanks for the support!

[Layla]

There is nothing wrong with the way you are doing wi/wo method... I really think its just not working because he is so overtired. What really worked for me back when she had night wakings is go in & stay by her cot (rub her back or pat her bottom & use words to comfort her) & when I would see her settling down I would leave & then come back again at the end of the count & if she was still crying. Its so much harder for them to get back to sleep when they are so overtired... it will get better once he is back on track...

I went to Pedi today just in case its an ear infection but he said there was nothing wrong, not even molars! so its not even teething!!!! So... I am just clueless.

I did this too...I was totally blown away by the night wakings. She was sleeping 1.5hrs in the day but was waking at night screaming her little lungs out. She was just not used to being awake for as long as I kept her up. I did't want to do earlier bedtimes because I didn't believe they would fix things & I was scared of her waking up at 4am ready to start the day... but believe me... they help & you might even need to do them for the next few days to allow him to catch up on sleep & help erase overtiredness

I will try to reintroduce the morning nap tomorrow but he fought his nap so bad today I am dreading it.

You know... something else that really helped me keep sane through this transition was to set time limit on the attempt on morning nap. So I used to put her to bed at say 9.30 & if she was NOT asleep by about 10ish then I would forget the nap & aim for 1 nap around 11am. I don't think its worth trying for a morning nap because there will be some days when he is MORE than ok to be awake for 4hrs in the morning and other days when he will not. Alot of it depended on the wake up hour & how she slept the night before.

Should I try a 45 min AM nap tomorrow? He hasn't gone down for a nap sooner than 3.5 hours in a long, long time so I fear he is going to fight me for his PM nap even if he only gets a short AM nap

I would try 45mins... see how you go... he might go down really well in the morning & his pm nap might still be short but at least the naps are spread out during the day rather than him being awake for 6hrs before bedtime.

Also, when you do the transition how many days do you do each stage? E.g. 45 min AM nap for X days, before shortening it to 30min, etc. How do you know how to time the second awake period?

With us... I didn't make ANY changes until she would fight the pm nap. So we kept at 45mins for a loong time until she would start fighting the pm nap on a 45min morning nap... in which case I went down to 30mins Am nap. With Isabella things were much more predictable than they were with Jasmine. Isabella was on 45mins am & 1.5hr pm nap for about 3 months until she was 15.5months... which is when she went down to 30mins Am & 1.5hrs pm & to be honest we never went to 20mins.. at 16months she was on 1 nap from 11am & over a few weeks I stretched it to 11.30-1pm (she woke at 6am though). So although some go to 20mins morning nap we didn't do that & I didn't do that with Jasmine either... after 30mins am nap.. I went straight to 1 nap.. with a few 2nap days as a catch up.

hth & let me know how the night goes

I might not be back until a few hours.... have to go & take my cranky toddler out of the house (who is going through the last nap transition is not sleep all day )

Layla

[jfbd6805]

Thank you! I will let you know how tomorrow goes if you don't mind me reaching out to you again then.

[alexandrafromHolland]

Hi,

I have a similar problem too. started the transition to one nap this week, my son is 15 months old and sleeps from 12.30pm till 3pm so no problems there, but now he wakes up at various times in the evening or at night or in the morning and doesn't settle for 2 hours and not until I give him some milk. he is in bed around 7.30pm and awake around 8am. He eats well during the day, four meals.

Last night he woke from 9.30pm till 11pm
The other night from 11pm till 2am
another night from 5am till 7 am!


Maybe I am using the milk as a prop? How works the walk in walk out method? Or any other ways to settle him at this age? Pick up put down doesn;t seem to work. Singing sleeping songs only seems to stimulate his intrest in playing. Overall he seems rested and ready to play! I have read a few books with him couple of times as well. And say goodbye again to all his bears, is what I have tried also...so repeating the evening routine over again.

I think I should try the walk in walk out method. Can anybody fill me in on the details on how to do that?
 Thanks
alexandra

[jfbd6805]

Dear Layla

Well we probably can't try to reintroduce the AM nap today b/c he was up again last night at 4 till about 4:30 (remarkably short) but he went back to sleep when the heater came on. My DH thinks we should get a white noise machine to help him sleep better at night - is this a good idea?

Anyway - he is not even up yet and it is almost 7:30.

So should I try a 4 hour A time and hope he naps a decent nap and then a 5 hour A in the PM? 

Jude

UPDATE: He woke up at 7:30 AM this morning, so we nursed, did breakfast at 8:30, went to storytime at the library at 10, ate lunch at 11:30 and I put him down at 12. He fussed and fought the nap for 10 mins and I had to do WI/WO until he finally slept at 12:10. So that was a 4 hour 40 mins awake time. Was that too long? I did try to get him ready for nap already at 11:45 but he was quite hard to settle. He finally seemed relaxed enough at 12.

[Layla]

I don't think there is anything wrong with white noise! In fact it might help him settle sooner. We had a fan for Jasmine for a very long time & still I put it on when she doesn't settle well. So I think thats a great idea

It could be that he is ready for more A time in the morning.... so perhaps aim at 4.5hrs A time in the morning & then to bed by 6.30pm.

[jfbd6805]

Phew... I am so glad you said that about white noise as I have been stalling on buying one as I didn't want to create a prop situation. But I really think it will help him stay asleep.

He had a LONG nap today! At first he woke at 1:30 and I groaned b/c that was only 1 hr 20 mins of nap which I just know is not enough for him but he put himself back to sleep and slept until 2:35!!! So he basically had a 2 hour 25 min nap!!!! I hope this is a sign of things to come. He was much easier in the PM too and not quite so clingy.

He was asleep at 7:45. He nursed for ages (almost 30 mins!!!) which he hasn't gone in almost a month so that is a good sign. I hope it means he will sleep through the  night.

I have no idea what I will do tomorrow as it all depends on when he gets up. He has now had so much sleep (maybe too much?) in the last 24 hours I am worried he is going to get up super early. In which case I may have no choice but to try two naps.

So today's A times were 4 hour 40 mins and 5 hours 10 mins - does that seem about right to you? He used to be up for between 10.5 - 11 hours a day when he took two naps so this is actually less time than 'normal'

Thanks and good night.

[Layla]

White noises are great... I only WISH I had one with Isabella.... it would have saved us alot of night wakings from when the baby was born & the crying would wake her up (if you know what I mean). I "tried" to put a fan in Isabella's room about 3 or so months ago but she asked me to take it away . But Jasmine had one from birth... that thing was on all night & whenever she would nap. Its great for drowning noise & I didn't have to keep Isabella quiet during Jasmine's naps... it might be AP but as long as I am not needed in the room!!!

So he basically had a 2 hour 25 min nap!!!

Great to hear on the long nap ! I think the earlier bedtimes for the last few days would have helped & he probably is making up for lost sleep.

have no idea what I will do tomorrow as it all depends on when he gets up

Things were really up in the air for us as well when we did the 2-1 switch. I never knew if it would be 2 naps or 1.

So I would probably keep A times in the morning below 5hrs & hopefully he will sleep for about 1.5-2hrs with bedtime about 5hrs later.

You're doing great!!! Keep me posted

[jfbd6805]

Good morning Layla

Well he slept from 7:45 till 4:25am. He cried and I waited to see if he would resettle but he didn't so I did WI/WO 2x and then he put himself back to sleep WITHOUT the heater coming on within 5 mins. He is still asleep and it is 7:25. I expect he'll wake up any minute.

Will keep you posted. Hopefully we are headed in the right direction.

You know what you said about the white noise machine and having a second baby really hit home for me. We haven't started trying for a second one yet but it is definately something I have thought about wondering how we could have TWO babies waking eachother up at night.

Good point!

UPDATE: Well, he resisted the nap again although I admit I probably had him up too long (4 hours 50 mins by time he went down). And he only napped for 1 hr 45 so that wasn't great. He was so sleepy in the afternoon he went to bed at 6:45. I anticipate a bad night... groan. All in all he had a total of about 10 hours awake time again. Its so hard to know how to fix this if he gets up so late and I hate to wake him early when we are all so tired and he needs his sleep. Are we headed in the right direction though?