Fussy when put down for naps - advice?

[Logan's mom]

Hi there,

I'm just starting the EASY process and I was wondering if people wouldn't mind sharing their experiences or words of advice when it comes to putting their lo's down for naps during the day (actually, I have the same problem with the 7-7:30 lay down, as well). I have an 8 week old son who seems to be fussing for quite a while when I put him down (approx. 1/2 hr - 25 min.). Unless he starts to cry, I've been waiting it out. There's a spare bed in his room, so we wind down by sitting together, I sing him a little song, then we sit quietly. I can see the signs - glossy, tired eyes and yawns - so I put him down sleepy, but still awake. If necessary, I use the shh/pat method. Is there something I'm missing?

Thanks!
m

[Logan's mom]

Okay, so it turns out the 11:30 nap went down the drain... he's been up off and on for an hour now. Does this mean I should extend his nap time? I'm concerned that if I do, it will throw the entire routine off, which I really don't want to do, especially since I'm just starting EASY.

[Mommylgee]

Hi Logan's mom -

Could you please post your routine? I started struggling with my lo's naps around this time, as she approached 3 months.  Before then, they were awesome! But now they're getting a lot better again - I think it had to do with needing to extend thnd e time between her feedings, and overstimulation during her A time.  Now, it only takes less than 5 min to put her to sleep, usually without my help.  But it took a few days of getting to that point. 

Patience, perserverance and consistency - that's what Tracy said, right? I'll do my best to try and help :-)

Genny

[Logan's mom]

Hi Genny,

Thank you for your reply. So far, so good today... he's been going down like a dream! It's completely opposite to yesterday. Here's how it's been going so far...

Last night:
7pm - bed, but didn't fall asleep until 9pm. It took 2 hours of shh/pat to get him down.
11pm - dream feed (6oz - this was only the 2nd time he ever took 6, so I was thrilled and hopefully for a long sleep, but it didn't really happen)
4:15am - woke very unhappy, so I changed him. The extra onces had made him extra wet!
4:30 - E (4oz - kind of like another dream feed)
5am - S (went down, no problems)
8:30am - E (6oz)
9am - A
9:45am - S (went down, no problems)
11:40am - E (1oz)
12:10pm - A (changed and got ready to go out)
12:20pm - S (always sleeps in car seat)
2pm - E (4oz)
2:30pm - A
3:30pm - S (went down, no problems)
5pm - E (5oz)
5:15pm - A
5:30pm - tried to put him down for a catnap before his 7pm feed and down for the night, but it didn't work; half hour later he was wide eyed, no yawning or anything, so we left his room and went back to the living room at 6pm. With only an hour left, I figured, why not?
6:15pm - E *Current feeding on 2oz as I type as a snack before his 7pm feed, which will likely be 7:30 now, but he's not doing well... very fussy! Perhaps not making him go for his catnap has thrown him off, but I figured he had done so well early, I wasn't going to try to force him after trying to a half hour.

He typically gets cranky at the end of the day it seems. The rest of the day went so well, I thought today might be different. Now I'm a little concerned about what it will be like around 7-7:30. 

[Mommylgee]

Hi Logan's mom,

Good for you for persevering with the shh patt!  It takes time at first, but your lo will associate it with sleep.  Sounds like he's already learning! 

So it looks like you're pretty much on a 3 hr schedule?  Although in the evening I'm not sure if you kept it?  You should try to aim for a 12 hr day, so if he's waking at 8:30 for the start of the day, then his bedtime should be 8:30 p.m.  I'm bf exclusively, but I know that my lo didn't STTN until around 10 weeks.  Once in a while she would, but then would wake the next night for a feed.  It's really common for los to still be NW for hunger.

Now I'm definitely no expert, maybe the mods can help on this but could you try to stick to the 3 hr schedule throughout the day, no snack in the evening?  Also, maybe u can wait a bit before putting him down for the catnap in the evening.   The catnap is typically around 30-45 minutes anyway, so that last stint before bedtime, there tends to be more waketime.  In other words, perhaps you could have waited till 6:15-6:30 for the catnap, then have a bath around 7-ish and last meal anywhere after that so bedtime is at 8:30.  Then DF at 11:00.

My lo is 15 weeks and now and as mentioned before, things are much better.  Baby steps right  .  Keep me posted!

[Logan's mom]

Thanks for the tips mommylgee. Logan went down at about 7:10 and I went up once more when he fussed. Then he got up again an hour later and it's now 9:20 and my dh is still doing the shh/pat. I had tried the catnap a little early because I was trying to pay attn to his cues - sleepy eyes and yawning at the time - but that didn't seem to matter once I tried to get him down. He went down nicely at 7, so I was hoping it would be a success, but unfortunately not. Gotta relieve dh - more later.

[Logan's mom]

Well, good morning... or perhaps not so. Last night was fairly disasterous compared to others, but I'm just going to hope that today will be better. We didn't get Logan to sleep until 10:30pm, then he woke at 2:20, so I did the shh/pat and he went back to sleep. Woke again at 4am and started fussing like crazy, so by 4:30 he ate, then went right back down by 5. We got up at 8, he only took 2.5oz, though. And when he started to fall asleep on me, I put him back down just after 9. I think last night wore him out. I know it wore me out... after getting up with him at nearly 2:30, I couldn't go back to sleep... I was up the entire time until just after 5am!

[Mommylgee]

Hi Logan's mom,
Hugs to you! I know it's hard!  I remember around that time, I was so desperate for sleep.  According to all the books and friends I spoke with, my lo should have been sleeping through, I couldn't explain it.  But one night, suddenly, she slept through till 7:30, then 8:30 and now I  can count on her at least sleeping until 7-7:30.  She sometimes wakes up around 6, but will put herself back to sleep again.
As Anne of Green Gables used to say (I'm Canadian :-), today is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it!  Try to stick to the schedule, and if your lo looks tired early, try using some low key activity to keep him up as long as possible, then put him down.  If he doesn't get a good nap, then the next nap, you can put him down earlier.  Make sure you don't let it spiral out of control - if the first nap is bad, put him down early next nap so he can catch up on the sleep.  Also good day sleep tends to lead to good night sleep. I remember my lo would have 3 bad naps and by the end of the day, she was soooo cranky, I couldn't get her to latch on, she was so upset.  She would cry so hard, nothing would calm her.  I actually thought she was sick.  Turns out she was just exhausted from having so little sleep during the day.

Could it be that he's being overstimulated?  You can check the FAQs for advice on that.  I realized that having the t.v. on in the background was too much for my lo, and also, I misinterpreted her tired signs for signs of boredom and a need for a change of the environment.  Hang in there, things will get better, I promise!

[Logan's mom]

Thanks Genny. (I'm Canadian too, actually... in Ontario.)
One thing I'm confused about when others talk about their lo's sleeping through the night is whether or not they're still dream feeding. I'm not sure if this is something everyone adopts or if they just try to see if their lo's will sleep 12 hours without anything in between.
The other thing is that Logan tends to like to nap extra long in the morning. Ex: went down at 9-9:15 this morning and it's now 11:10 and he's still sound asleep. I'm not concerned about how much he's eating (he's gaining weight and doing very well), so I don't want to wake him really. Perhaps it will result in some shorter naps later on today, but as long as he's content, eating well and having some activity time, I would tend to think that's okay. I guess I'll just have to see what the rest of the day brings.
I'm going to check out the FAQs regarding his activity. He could be over stimulated. Evening after dh gets home, the tv tends to be on and he's with me and dh. Determining what level of activity is good for him is likely going to be one of the most challenging things.
Thanks again!

[Mommylgee]

I'm in Ontario too, Mississauga to be exact :-)

Morning naps tend to be an extension of the night sleep, so they are usually longer (and more sound).  I can always count on my lo to sleep well in her first nap, and she also has less A time too (at 15 weeks, gets 1:15-1:30 tops - rest are 1:45).  I think when people say STTN, they mean with the DF, I know I do.  Last night my lo slept from 8-8, with a DF at 10:30.  So from 11-8, she slept (mostly - to be honest, she woke at 6 then went back to sleep again, phew!)  Normally, los can't go without the Df until much later, you can check the feeding board about that.  I don't plan on dropping mine until she's at 4 feeds a day (4hr EASY) and maybe around 5 months? 

You'll get to know his cues more and more.  My lo buries her head in my chest when she's tired, and has lately started making taradactyl noises (sp?) too. 
2nd nap today was great (only 1 wake, but slept soundly straight through otherwise).  Also, I've read time and time again from other postings that the during the first 3 months, los work out their night sleep, then from month 3-6, they work on their day sleep.  So hang in there.  At 11 weeks, things had TOTALLY changed for me, I was renewed with so much hope.  Also, you may want to check other postings from similar topics (you'll probably find an old one of mine in the past :-) and see what other people had to say about it.

Good luck!

[Logan's mom]

I'm in Hamilton! Wow... I see so many people on here from the UK and Australia, but only a few Canadians so far (although I'm sure there's more than I realize).

Thanks for your reassurance. Sounds like my lo isn't doing so bad. His morning nap was wonderful, but the next two (he's in the midst of the next one right now), he's been lying awake in his crib for about an hour before falling asleep. He fusses a little bit, but doesn't really cry. Only once in a while when he seems like he's about to get really fussy, I go check on him and give him his soother if he wants it. I don't feel like he's dependent on it (yet, anyway), so I still use it now and then. I'm hoping that if he falls asleep for about an hour, bringing me to 5pm, that I can feed him, perhaps forego the catnap (which he doesn't seem to take well to anyway) and then put him down for 8pm, making for a 12 hour day. I'm a little concerned that he might get overstimulated and/or overtired if I have him up between 5-8pm, but as it is, he's still in his crib and awake, so we'll have to see what time he falls asleep at.