14 mo and waking constantly

[bubbas mom]

My son is 14 months old and wakes all through the night. I have made the mistake in bf him to sleep and never taught him to sleep on his own.  He usually sleeps in 2-3 hours stretches.  Lately he has been waking every 45min to an hour.  Could he have reflux at this age?  He had a hard start so I was awlays comforting him and that's just how things were.  Now that he is 14 months I am really tired of nursing all night.  I am also wondering why is he really waking up so much?  It seems that he wakes more then the norm even those who have sleep problems.  He is definately a spirited child and had trouble settling down.  Any advice will help.  Thanks

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi there - as you can see I split your post from the thread you had posted on so that I could move it to the toddler sleep area where you will get the right audience.

I don't think that your LO has reflux, I think that he just doesn't know how to sleep independently. It's never too late to teach that, so don't worry.    I think that item #1 would be to stop the nursing at night. At 14 mo he should not need to eat at night at all. The best way to go about eliminating that probably would be to wean the feeds by offering less minutes each time - assuming that he eats for any reasonable length of time?

[Layla]

{{{HUGS}}}

There is another post where you got some advise on the gradual withdrawal. How are you going with that?

Could your DH help you out because I do think that it makes a difference when the dad settles at night because he knows he can't be fed to sleep

He could also be waking up more often because of the 2-1 nap switch so if you could let us know what his routine looks like during the day we'll try to work on that as well if need be.

Layla

[bubbas mom]

I haven't done the gradual withdrawal b/c he latches off himself and falls asleep.  He doesn't fall asleep on the breast.  I usually pull him off if he is and he will try to go after it but I just cover up and he gives up b/c he is almost asleep.  I can ask dad to help.  His patience is short.  Here is a typical day:

Wakes 7-8
naps 11-:30 for 1.5 hours (never longer  )
Sleep 6:30-7:30 (depends how ling it takes to wind down)

We have quiet time after dinner at 5:30
Jammies at 6:00
Then books
Lights out
Nurse then hope he falls asleep quickly

He tries to play around and has a hard time transitioning from play to quiet time and books.  He wants to run around his room and get into everythig. 

It seems that it used to be so easy and now he thinks everything is a game.  I don't know how to get him to understand that it's night night time and we longer play and get him to sleep on his own.  He sries everytime I put him in the crib awake.  We have tried the Ferber method which was awful.  Each night he cried longer and he was a mess during the day.  I just don't know where to start b/c I feel that there are several problems. 
A) He has to nurse to go to sleep and wakes constantly
B) He does not know how to go to sleep on his own
C)  I have a hard time transitioning from play to nap/ sleep even with a routine
D) He gets overly upset with dad trying to put him back to sleep
E)  He will cry even before I can lay him down in the crib

 I guess I am trying to get as much info and advice to figure out a plan.  Then I will go from there.  I am nervous about trying something new and having him cry.  I guess I am just so tired that I have no energy to do anything but I know I need to.  I know that it is healthier for him to know how to self soothe and to sleep on his own.  Thank you for the help.  I just don't no where to start 

[Colin Macs Mom]

Don't be nervous, there are lots of us here to support you and help you through this.    Understand though that there will probably be some crying involved and that's ok. It's his way of telling you "this isn't how we do this" and your not giving in communicates to him "this is how we are going to do things now."

He probably gets upset with dad trying to put him back to sleep because dad can't nurse him, and that's what he wants. If it makes you feel better, I don't think you have several problems, I think you only have one: that LO can't go to sleep without nursing. A-E that you listed all point to that.

I personally would start by moving his bedtime back a little bit. It sounds like he's not tired enough yet if he's trying to run around and can't transition from normal play to quiet. Maybe even just 10 or 15 minutes would help.

And then.... I know this is hard but I would ask your DH to help out as much as possible. Him going in at night will quickly send a message that the nursing is not going to happen. He will definitely protest for a few days (hard to say how long) but he will get the message if you stay consistent and don't give in.