6 month old waking every night

[SaraTh]

My 6 month old wakes at around 3 am every night, crying. It's not a hunger cry and if I pat her, she sleeps and then she wakes for a feed around 5.30 am. I've tried PU/PD, but she thinks I've picked her up to feed her and gets hysterical. Shh/pat gets her to sleep, but I tried two months of it and she still won't settle unless I pat her and it's an hour long procedure. Last night I was so tired that I ended up lying on the floor and letting her cry while I patted her through her cot bars every few minutes. She settled after 45 minutes, but I hated myself for making her so unhappy. I don't get to sleep much the rest of the night too, because I have a preschooler who's convinced there are monsters in his room and calls on me a couple of times a night to scare them away. (A little classmate told him scary stories, he's getting over it slowly.)
Her daytime routine is fairly fixed. She has trouble getting to sleep sometimes, but PU/PD has helped a lot with that.

E  7.20am - wake up and nurse
A  after eating
S  9.30am for 45 minutes

E  10.45am nurses, then solids (which she seems to dislike intensely)
A  after eating
S  12.30 pm for 1.5-2 hours

E  3pm  nurses
A  after eating
S  5pm, a catnap of 15-20 minutes

    6.15 pm bathtime
E  6.30pm  nurses
    7.30 bedtime. She nurses until her eyes glaze over, we read Goodnight Moon and I put her into bed where she usually sleeps almost immediately. At 11.00 pm I do a dreamfeed. At 3.00 am, the crying begins. HELP! If I don't do the dreamfeed, she sleeps till 2 am and wakes hungry. Strangely, the two times she's slept through are nights when preschooler came in on a monster hunting mission during the dreamfeed and woke her thoroughly. Should I try waking her up every night at 11.00, or is that another bad habit?

[Bryony]

Hi there and welcome!  Hugs, being so tired is horrible - we've all been there.

Now, a few questions:

- you say that the catnap is 15-20 mins- why is it so short?  Do you wake her, or does she wake herself?

- when she wakes, what is she doing?  What kind of cry is it?

- can she get to sleep on her own for naps and bedtime?

Sorry for all the questions, I am trying to work out what's going on!

I am sure it's coincidental that she slept through after the monster-hunting missions - but you could always try it!!  My LO always always woke up during the DF and it didn't seem to do her any harm - much as I tried not to wake her.

Bryony

[momofclaire]

Is it possible that the early morning waking is due to overtiredness? That 45 minute nap in the morning could be part of the trouble.  Have you tried to extend it?

[SaraTh]

Thanks for the support! I've tried to extend the 45 minute morning nap, but she has other ideas. I've tried going in and keeping a hand on her before she stirs, wake to sleep, shh/pat... she just wakes up looking thrilled to have my company and chats. If I go away, she chats to herself, just as happily. I don't think she needs more, because she never drops off to sleep during an 11.45-12.15 car ride to pick my son up from school. The short cat nap is all that she will have too. There are days she doesn't even have that, in spite of being strolled around in the park, though those days I try to put her to bed early. She has some trouble going down for her morning nap, she just rolls around in her cot, cries a little, calms down with about 30 seconds of patting, starts a mantra cry and drops off. It takes about 15 minutes. The afternoon nap is usually easy, since the car ride from school has her relaxed and she's sleeping in about 5 minutes. Sleeping at night is easy too, she seems to have associated the bath-feed-book routine with bed. She was woken up during last night's dream feed too and then stayed asleep till 5.30 when I managed to settle her with a very short feed (5 minutes against her normal 45) and she put herself back to sleep in her cot and slept till her usual wake up time. Should I just go with waking her for the dream feed and see if she consistently sleeps till 5.30 am, try to eliminate the 5.30 waking slowly by cutting out the feed and then try and cut out the dream feed? Has anyone done it this way?
Thanks,
Sara

[Bryony]

If she is woken at the DF, do you think she is taking in more milk than if she's still asleep??  I know it's so hard to tell when you are BF though...

I would think she'll need that catnap though if she's only having 45 mins in the AM - but if you are giving her the opportunity being walked around in the buggy then I guess that's all you can do      At that age my LO would refuse the catnap in her cot but would doze off every day without fail if I took her for a walk. I guess it kept me fit!  If you say your LO wakes after 15-20 mins though I would be wondering if she is overtired?  Do you think that's likely?

The other thing you could try for extending the AM nap is to put her down a bit earlier - that difficulty in settling just could be OT...  and many LOs need a shorter A time first thing in the morning.

It's great she can get to sleep on her own though - that's a HUGE part of the battle where NW are concerned!

Bryony

[SaraTh]

It could be that she's having a better feed when she's woken up at night and that helps her sleep better. Last night I woke her up on purpose for the dream feed to test this theory. She fed well, settled back to sleep easily and woke only at 6.00 am! She had a short feed, slept again and got up at her usual time. I guess I'll continue waking her for the dream feed and hope it isn't too hard to wean her off that later.

Sara (who feels much better after six straight hours of sleep!)

[Bryony]