ACK! Short naps driving mom and baby crazy

[lilmary]

I'm sorry, I'm too tired to search through different posts to see if these issues have already been addressed.  I have DD who is currently crying b/c she is so exhausted but will not nap longer than 40-45 minutes.  I've tried everything from not over-stimulating her before naps and trying to extend naps by pat/shush or giving her her paci or picking her up to comfort her.  She tends to get more worked up by seeing me, as if she's angry that I'm not taking her out of her room. 
I've even tried just relaxing and letting her sleep when she wants to, thinking that maybe she doesn't need to sleep more than that but she is clearly tired most of the time and very grumpy b/c of it.  This is all making mom grumpy too.  I could cry withher right now.  I don't know what else to do.  Her short naps are destroying the EASY routine, as by midday, after she eats she's ready to sleep b/c she's exhausted.
Please, someone, help!!!

Thanks,
Mary

[lilmary]

bump
 

[WISmom]

I have been where you have been.  My 5-month old was taking 30/40 minute naps and waking up so tired and angry a month ago.  I felt like I couldn't enjoy him because he was always so tired.  His nighttime was just as bad because I was up every hour giving him his pacifier or shh/patting him!  He also seemed to get more upset whenever I would do anything to try and get him back to sleep.  I felt so tired, worn, and depressed.  I was not able to try pick up/put down because I also have an 18-month-old and can't leave her alone.  So, we ended up letting him cry, checking on him every 5 minutes.  The first night was not fun and I debated whether we were doing the right thing, but it improved SO much within days.  He is now 5-months, happy, and follows the four hour routine.  He is such a different baby, and I am such a better mom.      It truly changed our whole life!  Some may not approve of this method (I didn't at first), but I didn't know what else to do!  I really feel for you and understand how you must be feeling.  Just make the best decision for you and your baby!  Good luck!

[Ollie76]

We kinda did the same thing.....a modified pu/pd every 5 minutes or so (and yes we did leave the room...we have a 2 year old).  She knew that we would always return and help her if she just couldn't  calm down.  She was 3.5 months at the time so we did the modified PU/PD that Tracy talks about for that age group (holding her for 4-5 minutes).  We often used the shh/pat too.  Our purpose was to wean her from the paci but it actually helped extend her naps b/c she learned how to fall asleep on her own (and put herself back to sleep).  She's a very secure and much happier baby!  Not to say that we don't still struggle with short naps once in a while....but at least we have some long ones now!!  Didn't have that AT ALL before and I thought I was going crazy!

I think one of the best things you can do is come up with a plan and stick to it - and maybe do it over  a weekend or something. 

Good luck    and hang in there!

[lilmary]

Thank you for the replies!
WISmom, did you do the crying out method for naps or just at night or both? 

I was so distraught today that I did a version of letting her cry it out--merely out of desperation.  My DD was so tired she was beside herself.  So, I went in, gave her her paci, patted her and left.  She was very upset.  I waited a few minutes and went back in.  I did this for half an hour and she did finally back to sleep for another 45 minutes.  This afternoon she went down, drifted right off as usual with no fuss and was awake 30 minutes later!  I went in, gave her her paci and soothed her for a moment and left.  After that, she didn't cry but it took her quite some time to drift back off--I kept peeking in so I know.  She did eventually fall back to sleep for close to an hour.

I wanted to try the wake to sleep, thinking that she must be waking out of a sleep cycle, but didn't get in there fast enough.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Ladies, I must remind you that BW does not support CIO or CC (controlled crying) in any form. Any further discussion must be done in PM.

[lilmary]

Sorry!  I'm really not an advocate of CIO either.  I'm not sure what I did qualifies as such since I kept going in to soothe her, but I will not discuss any further on the board. 

[Ollie76]

I apologize too - I follow almost all of the babywise principles but I had to "tweak" this one at the time. 

[WISmom]

I wouldn't really consider what I did CIO either since we did go in to soothe and pat every 5 minutes, but will respect the board and won't discuss it further.  lilmary, let me know if you want to discuss this more through email.