7 week old not napping during day- help!

[Genni]

Hi,

I'm brand new to this website and have gotten the BW book and have nearly read it all in the last day (I'm desperate!).  My son is 7 weeks and 2 days old.  He has been a great nighttime sleeper since 5 weeks old, sleeping minimum 7 hours at night...last night I got 9 1/2 hours.  BUT, the big problem is that he fights sleep during the day and it's awful getting him to nap.  The only thing that'll work is putting him in the car or stroller- he loves the movement and has since he was born. 

I've tried the pat/shh and it's okay.  A question though is that I will put him down when he's drowsy, then he usually wakes up right away screaming and I can't calm him in the crib, so I pick him up, pat and shhh him again till he's calm, put him down again, then we do this sometimes 4 or 5 times until he's asleep.  BUT, often times he wakes up again after 20 minutes crying loudly. I've left him to see if he'll just go back into a sleep but he doesn't, so we start the process all over again.  He's sleeping on his back so I do the shhhh in the crib, but can't pat his back in the crib and therefore the crying only escalates, so I need to pick him up.  Am I doing something wrong?  I've been trying this for over a week now.  Some days it works, others it doesn't.  I get so frustrated.  Yesterday I just left the house and took him for a car ride, then put him in the stroller to walk and he ended up sleeping 1 1/2 hours, but I don't want to always have to do this.

He is very tired because his eyes are red and I feel so badly for him.  For example, yesterday he only slept in total during the day for 2 1/2 hours and that's not enough I don't think for such a young baby.

Our schedule goes something like this:

7:30am E
then A
9:15am S
10-10:30am E
A
11:30-12:00S
1-1:30pm E
A
3:30-4:00E
A
5:30E
7:30E
catnap of maybe 30-45min.
9:30E

These are all approximates, but the one thing that is very consistent is that he wakes anywhere between 7:15am and 7:45am and always goes starts his last feed around 9:30ish and is sleeping by 10:30pm or shortly after.  This has been happening for over a week at least.  I try to cluster feed in th evening, which I think it really helping him sleep longer at night.

Any suggestions, help would be appreciated

[elmarie]

As this is an issue with napping I'm going to pop it over to naps.  I think you with more specific help there...

Elmarie 

[Genni]

Thank you for moving this.  I just wanted to say also that I'm not using a pacifier as if I do he will rely on that and keeps popping it out and then crying for it back, so it's more of a pain for me.

I just read somewhere else in here that b/c he's under 3 months I should stay with him and continue to shhh/pat until his eyelids are totall closed and he's off to sleep- about 10 min?  I tried this technique this afternoon and so far he's been sleeping 45min. -woooohooo!!!  Before this I was shhh/pat until he'd just close his eyes, thinking he'd be able to soothe himself back to sleep after,but I guess b/c their beginning sleep isn't really deep sleep that he is too young to soothe himself back??

Sorry, I'm just desperate for any help. 

[Maffoos mummy]

Oh dear poor you. Hugs!! I'd really stick with the shh pat as it will work in the end. Some babies take longer to get used to new things than others but he will do in the end! I think at this stage in your "sleep training" and at his age he is too young to soothe himself back to sleep but once he's used to extending his naps he will be able to do so. As he's so tired could you try shortening his A times a little until his daytime routine is more settled? Well done for the nighttime sleep,that's great,but any sleep issues day or night are emotionally very draining and it's early days for you too. How are feeling in general?

[Genni]

Okay I will try to stick with it.  I'm finding it exhausting and some days when he just won't go down with pat/shhh, I end up taking him into the bathroom and  put him in his chair with the fan on and that buys me some time...he likes the sound of the fan.

In general I'm feeling good.  Although last night, he went down at 10:30pm, up at 2:15am and bf for over 25min., then down by 3am, up at 6am, bf for 20min. then down only until 7:30am.  I'm freaking exhausted today.  I tried the pat/shhh at 2 and 6am, and even went into the bathroom with the fan on but he just kept bobbing at my neck and chest wanting to be fed.  I figured since he ate for so long, he was hungry.  I'm not sure if this was a growth spurt b/c I didn't notice him overly hungry during the day yesterday and with getting 9-10hrs. straight each night for the past week, this was a real shocker!  I just was so nervous to feed him because I don't want him getting into the habit of waking at these times all the time and expecting to be fed.  If he didn't need it in the middle of the night for the past 3 weeks, why would he need it now?

Do you think he'll get into this habit of waking?  I followed the exact same routine as the previous days when he slept right through.

[deckchariot]

It certainly could be a growth spurt.  My dd had a HUGE gs at 8 weeks, so that could definitely be it.  You've gotten some great advice on the pat/shh - it's really hard, but it is absolutely worth it!  We used to do pat/shh starting on our shoulder (as part of the wind down), then in the crib til she was asleep, then through the first 20 min sleep cycle.  Then as it took less and less time to get her to sleep, we weaned back the time we shh/patted, and eventually, we could just pop her in wide awake and she'd sleep great.  So it really does get better!

One other thing I'd suggest is tweaking his routine a bit.  It looks like his A times are way too long for one so little.  At 7 weeks, A time is basically eating, then a diaper change, then straight to the wind down.  And it looks like your ds is up for almost 2 hrs before his first nap.  Also, his bedtime is a bit late, you really want to try to aim for a 12 hr day/night.  So he may be working from a sleep deficit every day, which will not help him sleep better.  You might want to try to aim for something like this:

E - 7:30
A - really just E and diaper change
S - 8:30 (you may want to start the winddown at 8:15 because you really want him asleep close to 8:30/8:40)

E - 10:30
A -
S - 11:30

E - 1:30
A
S - 2:30

E - 4
A -
S - 5 (catnap)

E - 6 (cluster feed)
A - bath, bedtime routine
E - 7:30 and to bed

then you could df at 10:30 - that way he still gets the 7 feeds he's getting now, but he will hopefully be getting more sleep.

HTH
michelle

[Genni]

Thank you for your suggestions.  Last night he was up twice in the night which is uncommon, but if he were to continue his through the night sleeping, do you think I should then be waking him by 7:30am if he's not awake, to feed him and get him onto the schedule you suggested?

Also, is it bad that I'm feeding him right before bed and that basically makes him fall asleep, I walk with him for 5 min. in the house in the dark and then put him in his crib asleep. 

During the day for naps he's awake and I put him down using pat/shhhh

Because the nights have been soooo good for me I hate to change what I'm doing and have him resort back to only 4 hours or so at a time when he's been doing 8-10 hours at night straight. 

[Maffoos mummy]

I think as his nighttimes were consistent before it more than likely was a growth spurt,in which case you did the right thing-feed through the night when seem to need it ie with out of the ordinary wake ups but try to top up more during the following day to get the calories in that way. IMO I don't think it matters if your lo feeds to sleep for the last feed of the day as you're shh/patting consistently for the others. Also yes I would personally wake him at his usual time the following day after night wakings to try to get back into the routine. HTH

[Genni]

Thanks!  Today, lo does not seem extra hungry..but I am feeding him on the regular 3 hr easy.  Because he got less sleep last night and did 1.5 hr nap for first nap, during his 2nd nap I was at an appt. and it took him longer to get to sleep so I let him go 1/2 hr. into his next normal feed time b/c he was sound asleep and figured he needed more sleep.  So this gave him 1.5 hr nap for 2nd nap too, but was 3.5 hours since last feed.  Is this ok to do if he's OT?  I've only done it a few times before.....not sure.

[deckchariot]

It sounds to me like you're doing great!   Remember, EASY is a routine, not a schedule, so if he's OT and needs the sleep, going 30 min past a feed is not going to destroy the work you've been doing.  With my dd, I consider 30 min on either side of my "scheduled" time to be good - depending on what she needs on any given day.

[Genni]

THANKS!  I hope I'm doing okay!!!  I just tried shhh/pat for this nap for about 45min and no luck, so I have him swaddled, in his chair in the bathroom.  He loves the sound of the fan in the bathroom and it's dark in there.  Hopefully he'll get an hour at least before the next feed.  I dont' like to resort to this, but it really seems like this late afternoon nap is very, very hard to get him down in his crib for.  Hopefully I'm not instilling a bad habit of going to the bathroom at this time, but I'm tired at this time too and for now if it works, then at least I figure he's getting some sleep?

[Maffoos mummy]

Definitely agree with pp re it being a routine rather than a schedule and the timings given in the books are really just guides. I'd try to start the day roughly the same time each day if you can (to me that means within an hour of normal time,lol!! Really no need to majorly clock watch) only really to try to head off any night wakings you may be able to avoid but if my ds seemed to need a longer nap (particularly if it's a bit later than normal,or had a busier day) then I'd go with the flow and tweak the timings for the rest of the day accordingly...EASY is a lot more to do with a consistent order of things rather than a set time for things.