21 month old, wanting to go into big bed but fighting it too...help?

[Monkeybelly]

Hi everyone,

Hoping someone has been here or can help with a little advice!  Heather has been on the E.A.S.Y routine since she was about 6 months old, has a brilliant bedtime routine (tea, tidy-up, teeth, bath, milk, watch "in the night garden", story and then bedtime) and always goes down without any fuss.  She self-soothes perfectly (apart from on very rare occassions when she's overtired/overstimulated and needs a little reassurance, so we sit just outside the door and quietly let her know that we're there if she gets upset).  She has a toddler bed in her bedroom and has been asking for "bed-sleep-liedown" (her words  ) in it...so we let her do it.  She slept in it for one night with no issue, but since then she just pops straight out the second we leave the room, and stands at the stairgate to her room crying for us.  We don't leave her to cry it out, we do go back after a minute or so and tell her "back to bed, sleepy time now" tuck her in with minimum of interaction and then leave again, but she's straight back out. 

Has anyone else been here, or does anyone have any ideas?  There's no rush for her to be in her bed (I'm not pregnant or anything), but she has been asking for it...questioning whether it's the right thing to do now!

Thanks for reading

xxxx

[Layla]

Personally I think the longer you wait the better. I know some do quiet well transitioning to a big bed even before age 2, but if she doesn't seem ready then I would probably put her to sleep in the cot & maybe do naps in the big bed.

DD1 has just gone to her big bed about a week ago & we are still not 100%... she too stands at the gate & bedtime has been delayed from 30mins to 1.5hrs every night so far. What I have been doing is going to her when she's crying/distressed & staying with her until she's calm/tucking her back in & then leaving. She will come straight out & will either start crying again or will fall asleep by the gate. If she works herself up again then I repeat & go back to her until she's calm or if she falls asleep by the gate (which is what the pattern seems to be so far) then I put her in her bed about 15-20mins later & she stays there until the morning.

So you could stick it out for about 2 weeks & do gradual withdrawal (stay with her until she's asleep & then slowly move towards the door) or rapid return (return her to her bed every time) or go back to the cot.

Also if you haven't got a bed rail I would get one & I've cushioned Isabella's bed all around so that its nice and cozy in there... provides more security for her I believe!

If she's not climbing out of the cot & if you don't need the cot anytime soon then I would wait for the transition a bit longer

hth
Layla