how to drop mid-day bf when 11mo ds still wants it?

[heidiruthie]

hello! i hope this is the right place to post this! i feel kinda dumb not knowing the answer to this, but how exactly do i go about weaning my almost 12mo son? he still has 3 bfs per day (7am, 3pm & 7:30pm) i'd sort of like to start with consolidating the last 2 feeds into one and say feed him at 5:00pm. the only problem is, he still really wants to nurse at 3:00. yesterday i gave him a little bit of milk in a sippy, which he normally loves, but he knew something was up and grabbed at my shirt! i finally gave in and he nursed for a long time.

i suppose i want to wean because i haven't got my period yet and dh and i would like to ttc soon. also, i don't have a breast pump, so i've felt slightly "chained" for the past year and would really enjoy a bit more freedom, iykwim. i hope that doesn't sound cruel, i do love nursing and know i will miss it when ds is finished, but its been a long year!

oh yes, and he has his solids at 8am, 12:30pm and 5:30pm. so far i haven't really offered him snacks, so that could be the key?

so does anyone have any hints for how i could combine the 3pm and 7.30pm feeds into one 5pm feed?

thanks!
-heidi

[Wink's Marmy]

I don't have any hints on combining the feeds. What we did was just drop that 3pm feed (it was 2pm for us) and then I fed her at 7 pm like always. This was about 3 weeks ago. I was having a family crisis that required me to go out of town and leave her for the weekend with DH and there wasn't enough milk in the freezer to cover all the feeds, so I just did it because I had to. I think because of the urgency of the family crisis, I didn't feel bad stopping the feed at all. What made it tricky was that I nursed her to sleep at that 2pm feed for her pm nap. I know - bad! Not very BW!!! But anyway, the first day I did it, she cried and was not happy at all. I put her in the crib and she cried a few minutes, but drifted off to sleep. I felt bad for her, but I knew she would be fine. The next day it was as if she had never nursed at 2pm and every day afterwards has been totally fine. I ended up dropping the night feed 1 week ago for the same reason and its been fine too. It helped that I had to go out of town again and the only choice she had was a sippy with DH. Now she doesn't drink any milk before bed, just has dinner like us, then bed an hour later... Don't think of yourself as 'cruel' for wanting to drop the feed... I think we guilt ourselves too much. You have to do what makes you happy too, you know?

One more thing - yes - try offering a snack - we do crackers & water. Seems to help. I offer it when she gets up from her pm nap. Are you giving cows milk? I gave it at 11.5 mo.

[heidiruthie]

thanks for your reply, jennifer! yes, i'm offering him organic cow's milk in a sippy. i did just what you said today, except i gave him a snack before his nap (yogurt & milk) and its 3:20 and i THINK he is asleep!! thanks for the comment about not feeling guilty. i think its true that we may guilt ourselves too much. i suppose i was worried that he would be hungry if i didn't nurse him, but i think he'll be okay.

do you still nurse your dd in the am? did she have a hard time at the beginning when you stopped the pm feed?

[Wink's Marmy]

Again, because of the urgency of the family situation (nephew has an aggressive cancerous brain tumor; he is 3 yrs. old) I had to leave & help my family. She either sensed it and was an angel baby or she is just ready to 'grow up' either way, she handled dropping the evening feed just fine. In fact, when I returned from out of town, she fought nursing the first night but eventually gave in. The second time I returned, she did the same thing so I just went ahead and dropped it earlier than I had planned to. It was great having her input though! I still nurse her in the am and will continue to do so for..... hmm... guess the next time I go out of town! Not really sure. But that is going just fine and I already feel so much more energy & a decrease in appetite. Anyway, its hard to think of quitting entirely, but after a year +, I am getting a little tired of it. Of course, that morning snuggle time is nice...

Glad he seems to have taken it well today!!! Every time you get that guilty feeling, just give yourself the big pat on the back that you really deserve for keeping BF up for so long!!! Switch that guilt to pride, OK? : )  Oh - and its hard to realize that they won't go hungry without milk - for so long thats all they needed! But they are growing into toddlers now, and more like us in that food is what really fills them up! Of course they need milk too, but you know what I mean!

[gleek]

thank you for this thread! my DD is 9 months and i feel like it's time to drop from 4 feedings down to 3 but i have no idea how to do it. i think that i read on here that some people switched their solids and BF around.. like instead of BFing upon waking from a nap to get them up and give them a meal or snack then BF a little later. then cut it down little by little until you don't do that feeding anymore. yes, i would imagine you might have to replace it with a snack at that point. my friend tells me that cheerios were her savior she replaced one feed with them around 9 months as well.

[heidiruthie]

jennifer: thanks! its really working well...his naps are still right on track, he doesn't seem hungry upon waking from his pm nap, and i'm looking forward to being completely done so i can go bra shopping  

gleek: i went down from 4 to 3 bf's per day when my ds was 10 mo. he just didn't seem as hungry during the 2 daytime feeds, so i combined them into 1 feed around 1pm and gave him his "solids" lunch at 11.30am. then gradually over time i stretched his lunch till 12.30 and his bf till 2:30 or 3:00...whatever works with your routine. it ended up not being EASY at all because the afternoon bf happened right before his afternoon nap, which was nice because it really relaxed him before bed.  hth!

[Wink's Marmy]

heidiruthie - I've been away a while. Just wanted to see how its going! FYI, we are DONE with BFing. It was hard emotionally but its good to be finished.

[heidiruthie]

jennifer: my ds is fully weaned now as well! it was difficult for me too, and the last feed was difficult for him to drop (before bedtime) but all is well now. well, except for my boobies which are now alarmingly saggy and deflated