Hmmm...a few thoughts running through my mind:
1) If you want to start a routine then this is a guide for you to consider. It depends how much A time she can handle without getting OT. At 10 months, she should be able to handle 3-4 hours. So your routine might look something like this:
E: 7:00 wake up and feed
A: 7:30
S: 10:00 (for 1.5 hours nap)
E: 11:30
A: 12.00
S: 2.30 (1.5 hours)
E: 4:00 (BF)
A: 4:30
E: 5.30/6.00
A: bath
S: 7/7:30 bedtime
How does that look to you? You start the day when she wakes..so the times are adjusted accordingly.
2) Ok..you really need to stop bringing her into bed with you at 11.00pm. If you do it for 3+ days it becomes a habit that gets harder to break. Try and shh/pat while she's still in the crib. Once you start the routine the 11.00pm NW might disappear
3) At 10 months she shouldn't need a night feed. Are you still giving the 3am feed..if so then I think she's waking out of habit rather than hunger.
4) I'd suggest that during the day you could make a game out of learning to 'lie down'. The whole family can join in. Just get on the floor with your LO and say 'sit up'... 'lie down'... as you sit up and lie down. She'll join in the game and when she does give her lots of claps and smiles and 'clever girl'. Soon you'll be able to say 'lie down' and she'll do it on her own.
Hope this helps. What do you think?