New here and need help sleeping!!!

[HMBuckley]

I had previously posted this without introducing myself...sorry!  I am the mommy of 2 DD's.  My mom bought me a BW book when I was pregnant with my now 2 1/2 year old and I loved it, constantly referencing every step.  Looking around the site, I am really happy to see all the sharing of information and support which is great!

I am having trouble settling my 10 week old into sleep.  We have been doing the shh pat for a little over 2 weeks now but we just don't seem to be able to get her to settle herself...and sometimes even we cannot settle her for quite awhile.  I seem to be using the shh pat to calm her down even before I have tried to put her down in the crib whether it be for nap or nighttime.  I believe we have a good EASY routine established, especially throughout the day.  She drinks expressed breastmilk and is on a 2-3 hour schedule during the day and throughout most of the night.  She will sometimes do a 4 hour stretch when she goes down at night but then is back to every 3 hours.  After her bath, we sing a lullaby and she sometimes will have a 'snack', the dream feed never seemed to work for us since she would only drink a very small amount and still wake up within a couple hours.  She has not been consistent but often lately after her bath she is so upset, crying and screaming until she just wears herself out.  Nothing seems to comfort her.  This has sometimes been the case when it is naptime as well.  She sleeps very fitful and is always trying to get out of the swaddle initially.  She will toss her head back and forth as well.  I can't figure out if I am trying to get her to sleep too early or too late.  I also have a toddler and cannot always stay in her room for the amount of time suggested in the book, which is my fault.  However, it does not seem to matter how long I am with her, she almost always screams out 5-20 minutes after she has gone down for nap or nighttime and does not calm herself or fall back asleep which requires going in to soothe her again.  The problem in general is that she does not wake up just crying, it is always a full on scream which requires picking her up to calm her down and start over.  After all this, I am exhausted and it is not long before she will be up again to eat.  I can only dream of the 11 pm to 5 am sleeping that the book suggests is possible at her age!!   

Help...I am completely exhausted, losing patience and my mind.  Any ideas on what I am doing wrong or am I wishing for too much at her young age?  THANKS!!

[christiewi]

Hi there!

Can you post your current routine for us?  That might help sort some stuff out.  I know that someone on here will have some answers!    I know for us I felt completely lost and exhausted right until 10-12 weeks or so, then it started getting remarkably better.  It's amazing what even ONE good day or night can do for you!  We'll get you there too!! 

[*Natasha*]

How is she sleeping during the day? What is her awake time before naps and bedtime?

[HMBuckley]

Hi and thanks!  She was 10 weeks yesterday and this has been our routine with rough times:

E   7 am
A   7:30
S   8:30
E   9:45
A   10:30
S   11:00
E   12:00
A   12:30
S   1:30
E   3:00
A   3:30
S   4:15
E   5:00
A   5:30
Sometimes a short snooze before bath.
Bath, lullaby and sometimes a little snack starts at 7:15 pm.  She typically is asleep by 8:00.
Night feedings are around 12:30, 3:30 
Tried the dream feed unsuccessfully for awhile but I am considering trying this again.

That said, there are a couple variations that she has latched onto on occasion lately.  She still likes to tank up before her bath and will have another bottle around 6:45 pm or so.  If that happens she does not have any snack after the bath and goes straight down.  Also, she tends to be on a 2 hour feeding in the mornings as though making up for lost time in the night even though she is eating in the night.  All feedings are about 3 1/2 oz, including those in the night.  She used to also wake up at about 5 am for a feed but I have been able to shh pat her through that the last couple mornings. 

One of my concerns is her waking up screaming, not just crying as though she is absolutely starving.  This is both in the night and after naps.  Once she starts fussing after activity time, this also quickly turns into an inconsolable scream which takes awhile to calm her.  For naps I take her in her room with no lights on, swaddle sit with her and turn on the white noise CD.  I lay her down before she is asleep but sometimes nodding off after she has calmed down.  At that point she will squirm and toss her head back and forth and start to fuss.  I will shh pat and then stay for awhile to make sure she is asleep.  More often than not, she will scream out 5-10 minutes later and I must go back in to calm her with shh pat, sometimes more than once.  This is what makes me think I have put her down too early or too late but I just don't know.  She also seems to take quick 30 minute naps a couple days a week periodically.  I don't feel like there is much consistency yet, but maybe I am expecting too much at her young age. 

I would love to hear your thought and ideas...thanks so much!!