Does he only need 30-45 min naps??? Help!

[mummy07]

Hello All,

I am sorry if I am repeating others here, but I have tried so many different things and he just doesn't nap more than 45 mins at a time. The only time he does is when he falls asleep feeding and I keep him on my lap WITH my boob in his mouth!! This is terrible I know but sometimes I just want him to get a good sleep and will just stay on the couch and stick it out.

At the moment I just let him do LOTS of short naps during the day, which seems to sort of work for him, but it does sometimes mean he falls asleep while feeding (as above - means I am anchored to the couch), and it is quite draining for me in general (very selfish i know).

He falls asleep no problem, with a little help from me - that's one thing I feel I have done right, teaching him to fall asleep on his own, TG!

He seems so much better when he sleeps longer than the 45 minutes so he must need more sleep right?

I have tried:
1. wake to sleep (not sure if doing this right)
2. waiting for him to wake & trying to help him through the transition
3. walking the earth!
4. car seat (marginal success with this  but really only when car is moving)
5. swaddling (he is 3 months and we always swaddle which does help at night but not much during day)
6. soother - loves this but does not help him back to sleep
7. slumber bear - helps him get off to sleep initially but no joy after short nap
8. leaving him mantra cry a bit and then giving soother - this worked once!

He's on a pretty good 3 hour eating routine, though i find it a bit messy in the morning e.g. if he wakes at 5.30 I will try to feed him to top him up at 7 so that we can start the day at the right time. Is this wrong?

Any advice would be appreciated. I am quite confined to the house and my mammoth walks each day because he will not nap properly and I find myself just winging it during the day and reacting to his need for naps as we go. He tends to get cranky outside the house with other people (i think because he is so tired?).

Sorry for long winded post.

Thanks ladies

Mummy07
 

[Aly Mac]

HI there - can you post your routine? one thing you haven't got on your list is about extending/shortening A time, which can help sometimes.

[mummy07]

Thanks Aly Mac.

oh yeah i forgot that I have tried extending/shortening A time!!!!

routine was as follows today so far

E 5am
S 5-6.50 (in our bed as i am so tired i just kept him there)
E 6.50
A
S 8.20
A 9.00-9.30
E 9.30 (seemed hungry, but I would usu wait till 10)
A
S 10.10 (was showing tired signs, fell asleep after a bit of a grizzle) to 10.50 (crying and screaming as I tried to get him back to sleep and here we are at 11.30, both of us exhausted from crying so much). I also tried W2S during this period - didn't work obviously.

He is wrecked but happy enough here with me now in his sling.

Help! I gave up trying to extend his naps due to all the crying, his and mine, and feel maybe we should get back to it as he shows no signs of extending himself.

Thank you
-----

Just to add, i see that this all looks a little chaotic and unclear so to clarify, basically he is eating every 3 hours approx, and then sleeps for 40 mins approx every hour to hour and a half. He starts the day at seven and goes to bed at seven, DF at 11.

[aprilhyzer]

First of all, your doing a great job and your a great mom!  My little girl has always been a short napper and I tried my hardest to get her to sleep longer but in the end I accepted the fact that she is a short napper and we are all so much happier.  I think she felt my anxiety go away and it rubs off on her.  Now, she still sleeps 45 minutes at a time, but sometimes she'll go that extra 30-45 mins on her own.  I agree though that my little girl still seemed tired after only 45 mins, so know I will put her in her stroller and go for a walk or walk her in the sling because she always falls asleep in one of them.  I do this up until her next feed.  The bonus...I get out of the house and I am not driving myself insane trying to get her down.  She seems much happier now.  So, she usually gets another 45 minute nap during the day, but I only do this once.  Is this jumbled??  Sorry if it is...I think parenthood zaps me of all my wits!! 

[aprilhyzer]

Oh real quickly...the other thing to think about is this just might be a phase.  Has your little one always done this?  Even so, they may grow out of it.  Lord knows, I have my fingers crossed!!

[mummy07]

thanks aprilhyzer, he hasn't always done naps like this although it seems that way sometimes!! it has been a fairly long phase so far. I know they sort out their daytime sleep from 3-6 months so only 3 more months to go --- agh!!!

i think you sound very sensible to go with your LO,  perhaps i will continue to do the same. i had been taking him out for walks but today was rainy so i thought i would try to extend the naps - BIG mistake! we both ended up inconsolable. 

How old is your LO??

[dizzy]

I found that with my LO he would do the first bit, put him self to sleep and do 30 mins or so and then wake so now I am there as this happens and I take out of cot and snuggle him on my knee and he goes back to sleep then I put him back again when gone. He does another half an hour then and sometimes an hour. I know it is probably not right but he gets the sleep i think he needs.

[mummy07]

dizzy i might try to do that. I normally try to settle him back while he's in the crib and it usually ends in agro 

[Aly Mac]

It certainly can be a phase, and if they wake up happy, you can choose to just go with it (that's what I did, for 45min naps).  You could try and push the A time a little, if you want to try, but it doens't look too bad.  Just remember as the day goes on, with short naps, he will be getting more tired and will hence need less A time than the average.  tha'ts why starting with extending the first A time of the day is the best way to start. an hour and 30 is average.

It's really up to you if you want to try to extend again, especially if he wakes up happy    just extend with some quiet time, ie: longer wind down.  What is the windown routine by the way?  

The boob in the mouth really is a prop (but I guess you already know that) and may become more of a problem as time goes on.  How is the night time sleep?