Toddler - Won't stay in Bed

[wilkes]

Hi Guys,

Please could someone helps us with solving a problem we are having with our LO who is 2¼.  When it comes to bedtime / story time he becomes a challenge, as he won't sit or stay in his bed for a story and we are returning him back to bed anything up to 1 hour.

Is this normal for a toddler?? or is there something we can try different which will make life a bit easier?

Look forward to any suggestions.

Thanks Laura

[LORRIEc]

Marking my spot.  We are having the same issues.  I'd even be happy if he's stay in his room.
I'd love to hear what anybody else has to say.

[Layla]

Laura, I am assuming he's been transitioned to a big bed?!?

Do you have a gate? Is that something you would be comfortable with? With the gate, my dd understood that she doesn't HAVE to stay in her bed but she needs to stay in her room at bedtime. Many many nights she spent falling asleep by the gate!!! And for the 1st month (no exaggeration) her bedtime was delayed from 1.5-2hrs. She didn't sleep during the day and it was very tough on both of us (her not sleeping enough at night and being cranky all day and me dealing with her crankiness all day!) but its something that did pass & it will for you too.

Some things that made the transition easier for me was to get the gate (as mentioned above). When she was distressed by the gate (crying, etc...), I would go to her, tell her it was night time, stay with her until she was calm and then leave. With every subsequent cry/call out, i would just repeat the process.

I also introduced a picture chart of our bedtime routine (draw a bath, draw a book, draw a cup for milk, and finally draw a bed) and with every stage we would tick it off... so I guess it prepared her more for bedtime.

During the day we talked alot about staying in bed and how mummy needs her rest and she needs her rest... I would role play with her and ask her to show me how she falls asleep (close her eyes), how to cover herslef with her blanket, etc...

I made sure she had all that she could possibly need at bedtime (water, potty, her lovey, her books).. to minimise the requests we had at bedtime (stalling tactics).

With every return to bed make it as boring as possible.. so no talking or anything like that (other than your good night phase) and honestly, its something that he will get bored of. It is VERY normal for toddlers to keep coming out... especially if its a new thing. He's now got the freedom of coming out... so he's making the most of it.

Is he napping at the moment? The timing of the nap is also important as if you are putting him to bed too early (not enough A time), he is not going to be tired enough to sleep... hence the delayed bedtime.

There is a link at the top of the page as well in regards to successful sleep trainig stories (big bed transitions). Have a read to see if something else there helps you out

hth a little
Layla

[wilkes]

Thanks for replying, and some of the things you do might be of help. We have put a gate on his doorway so he can't get out and down the stairs, and what we do is, tell him if he stays in his bed we won't shut the gate, but he does get out of bed then the gate goes on. 9 times out of 10 he gets out of bed so we return him, then put the gate on. He then gets all of his teddies & his story book, and sits with them right by the gate and starts telling them a story in his own way.

He will start to have a whimper after a while and we return him back to bed and then he repeats the whole process when he gets to a point he gets fed up and eventually goes to sleep. (but only after a good 1hr of us returning him).

He is having a sleep in the day from 1hr - 1½ and then sleeps from 8pm to 6am.

How are we doing do you think??

Thanks Laura

[LORRIEc]

MY ds climbs the gate.

I wish I had something to suggest, I know how frustrating this can be.

[Layla]

Laura, if he is just sitting by the gate, I would let him be!!! You don't have to keep returning him back into bed... he will eventually learn that the bed is more comfortable. I would just leave him alone if he's quietly reading books to teddies (very cute!), etc...

I actually did something very similar with Isabella re gate. Its on but she doesn't like it closed and our compromise was that it would be closed if she left her room (not her bed). She is absolutely free to come out of her bed and roam around her room (which she might do), read books, etc... and when she's ready she goes back to her bed and to sleep. Thats just me though... but I think he is doing really well (if he's not crying for you) and you should be really happy with that progress!

Keep trying with an earlier bedtime (I would aim for 7pm).

Good luck & keep me posted

[tylersmommy]

Honestly, I wouldn't bother returning him back to bed. If he falls asleep on the floor, so be it. You can always move him later or just let him camp out there. We never fought that battle with Tyler and I'm glad we didn't try. He slept on the floor of his room for about a year before he figured out that his bed was better. He'd quietly read books and wind down on his own, then just pass out wherever. He's 4 now, and to this day, he winds down his own way (usually out of bed) and then climbs into bed with a book or 2 when he starts feeling tired.

Our only rules were no loud toys and no wandering out of the room.

[debo620]

we are having the same issues---just following allong, we are only about 10days in....he does not do this at nap time---so I don't understand if it is a tiredness issue, an overtiredness issue or what.

seems he is wakng most days by 6/6:30 at the latest, napping 1.5hrs but will no go to sleep. tonight I tried for 7:15---but he is still awake at 8pm
seems he wakes even earlier the night he goes to sleep later so this is a problem!