big boy bed naps fine but night time nightmare

[shivi]

Hi all,

Oscar just moved cold turkey style to his big boy bed (which he picked himself and loves) 10 days ago. We have been doing WI/WO, not making eye contact, with gate on door etc. first two days were a nightmare for both naps and night time falling to sleep (once he's alseep by both accounts he's fine, a two hour nap and sleeps thro night without breaks) as it took over an hour on both accounts to get him to nod off.

Now, almost two weeks later, it looks a little like this:

6.30am wake up and milk, mummy leaves 7am
7.30am brekkie with dad childminder arrives 8am
am outing or play at home and snack 9.30-10
12.30pm lunch
1pm to 3pm nap - no probs, never leaves the bed even once
3pm to 5pm playtime inside or outside dep on weather, with me getting back around 4pm
5-5.30pm tea
6.30pm bath
bed 7pm......then it can take anything from 1 to 2 hrs for him to fall asleep.

we have tried and tried to be consistent, not talking to him after lights out, not cuddling him when we pick him up to put him over other side of bed rail, gave back his dummy for sleeps (only ever had it for sleeps) and threaten to take it and his bunny off him if he leaves the bed, took out lightbulb in main overhead light so as he cannot turn it on, etc....
tonight I found him semi conscious after about 15 WI/PD/WO by the gate to his door, massaging his face with bunny's ears and running his legs up and down the gate's bars, just as he did in his cot... put him back in bed....but its two hours after he initially went down...(with a pooh of course in between....I think it would have been better otherwise).

Oscar was a great sleeper in cot, ever since we got over the intial spiritedness of flailing and short naps at about 6 mths....and from 12 mths has been a dream, self soothing etc....
the reason why he is now in big boy bed is his size, weight and due to the fact that these factors combined with his activity levels broke the cot! He is about 94cm, 16 kg and likes to jump in air, landing smack on bottom in middle of cot, and thus cracked all od the slats which ran under mattress. We sort of fixed the cot about 5 times but just gave up when he seemed to like the idea of big boy bed and I had a week off work.....back a week now though and this transition is still eating into my YOU time.....really badly, esp with my early starts in the mornings.....

any advice greatly and I mean GREATLY appreciated!

Siobhain x

[Layla]

The A time before bed is only 4hrs so I am wondering if he's really tired enough by 7pm. I would look at cutting the nap shorter... make it 1.5hrs and bedtime around 7.30pm OR pushing bedtime to 8pm with the 2hr nap.

It can take quiet some time for them to get used to the big bed. With my dd, bedtime was delayed up to 2hrs for about a month (some nights were easier than others). We also had the gate and she took a real liking to falling asleep by the gate (I imagine it would be because she was used to the cot rails and it gave her the same security).

If he's not crying, let him be. Even if it means him falling asleep by the gate. He will get the idea that the bed is more comfortable in time

hth & let me know how you go
Layla

[shivi]

Thanks Layla...

We've tried a later bedtime but it's just meant that it's taken him the same 1.5 or 2 hrs to fall asleep...but it happens later of course!

I will keep cutting down his nap.

Funny thing is that before he moved from cot he was sleeping even 2.5 hr nap and still actually asleep by 7.30pm till 6 or 6.30am straight through....

I miss my good sleeper!!!!

Will let you know how I go!
My mum, a BW before her time told me that she had to camp out in the upstairs hallway and keep marching my sister and I back to bed for about a month....she'd just bring a cup of tea and a sandwich with her and ride out the tide! So, I'll keep at it.

thanks for advice,
Siobhain

[Pippa]

I so want my perfect wee cot sleeper back too!!! Bed girls bed transition not going well. Breaks my heart, still doing routine of dinner, play, bath, milk, cuddle with big sister, then book, song and kiss, well its now 10pm, its taken 3 hours and she only wanted her daddy.
Any suggestiosn welcomed......Pip

[Layla]

Pip, why the transition to big bed? She might be not ready for the transition yet?!? Have you thought about a crib tent instead?

[Pippa]

Hi
We just found her climbing out of her cot, and she has broken the side rail. Shes really would try to climb out as shes confident. Didnt want her in the bed this early but we felt we had no choice in case of a nasty fall. We have a bed rail and made it very cuddly with cot blankets and her teddies etc. Just feel sorry for my husband as she only wants him and he has to stay in there till shes asleep, compared to when she was in the cot, putting herself to sleep at 7pm, and playing in there until we got her up.

[Layla]

I know what you mean! Like I mentioned before.... we had about a good month of crying/tears/stalling tactics at bedtime when we transitioned to big bed. We also coushined the bed (put a body length cushon on both sides) and we have a bed rail... but Isabella would get out and fall asleep by the gate for a while (maybe the security of gate rails)... If your DH is staying with her until she's asleep, he needs to also start moving towards the door at the same time (so doing the gradual withdrawal method). Eventually he will be at the door and then sitting just outside her room...

If she was a good sleeper before all this, she'll go back to sleeping well again... she just needs a little adjusting time.

{{{HUGS}}}

[shivi]

Hi So just an update from here....we are two weeks into the transition to big bed and now bribe Oscar with him taking a little toy to bed (he's got lots of new ones as it's his birthday weekend)....and for the weekend since Fri night he hasn't left the bed once and has been asleep from 7.30pm....he's terrified we'll take away his Bertie Bus or Toby Tram from TTTE~! So he lies down like an angel but has to have the bedroom door open till he falls asleep (which now takes 10 or 15 mins compared to 1.5 or 2 hrs at worst over last two weeks)...

May also have something to do with the brill weather and the fact that he is outdoors for 2 or 3 hrs before his bath, tea and bedtime routine....
Anyway, am delighted....last night he was down 7.30 and out for the count till 7.30am this morning.....roll on spring, summer and sandpits!!!

good luck and hang on in there....

Shiv x