how are you handling sweets for your toddlers ????

[lne]

hello - new to this board since DD is a thankfully awesome little eater - meat, cheese, plain yogurt and fruit (limited veg, but she eats a ton of fruit).

'til about 22 months, we had successfully avoided giving her candy/cake/cookies.  ok, she did once in a while get such fare at a party or when visiting someone, but since it was so infrequent, she basically forgot about its existence.

however, for a while around Easter, a neighbor gave her chocolate every few days as we came up the stairs to our apartment.  now that she's older, however, she really remembers the goodies and has started asking for them daily. (have since asked the neighbor to offer DD fruit as a treat - thankfully she has complied since then!)

i have some food issues (as did my mom and as do my sisters) and would desperately to avoid that my daughter develops them.

question:

is it better to let her eat a small amount of goodies every day (somewhat regularly) so that she learns amounts that are reasonable to eat, or is it better to completely avoid them and hope that when she is old enough to have access on her own she doesn't go bonkers?

friends across the street offer sweets only on saturdays.... their daughter could take it or leave it.  can decide if that is kid-related or due to their strategy...

any experience/opinions on this would be very welcomed !!

cheers - eleni 

[lilmonkey]

I first gave dd treats (candie, chocolate, cookies, etc) at around 2.  I didn't do it on a regular basis or use them as rewards or bribes.  Since then dd is very good about the treats.  She knows that there are in the house but she doesn't ask for them everyday.  When she does ask for them, I would suggest a fruit or healthy snack and she would go for that instead.  So I think that she has a very healthy take on what is good for her.  Just this past Easter, she received some candies form preschool (they had a party) and I let her have a little bit of it.  The rest were later thrown away after sitting on the table for 2 days.  She just wasn't interested in it and even told dh that too much candies is bad for her.  I think that it is better to teach them responsible eating habits than to forbid things and then have them eat them in secret.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

DD had no real interest in them at this age apart from crisps every now and then when she saw dh with them and she was allowed to have one or 2.
She only has been interested since she turned 3. Now she asks for treats as we had to use them for good behaviour at night time and during quiet time, but I dont mind as she only gets something tiny, a gummy bear or a pringle or a marshmallow so that makes 2 small things a day and she often forgets. Sometimes she will ask for an extra one and I will either say yes or no, dont want her to think she can have them whenever she asks. I dont mind her trying my chocolate or if someone offers her a biscuit, but then again I am really lucky cos she really doesnt like sweet things at all, only discovered vanilla ice cream about 2 months ago :-)
So I say give them, occasionally and in moderation.

[Lissybits]

We have successfully got away from giving sweets to DS so far!
Luckily for us, here in Greece the kids don't eat many 'crappy' things as all Greek mums are fantastic cake makers (I've got a lot to live up to!).
DS does have a little bit of chocolate after his supper  - but not every day.
I'm going to try really hard not to give sweets - they are just full of crap. I'd much rather make a cake or biscuits to give after supper - at least you know what goes in them.
DH and I eat quite healthily and we don't eat sweets or crisps so why should  DS eat them?

I would prefer to treat him by taking him to the park or giving him a sticker - he's crazy about stickers!

Are you Greek Eleni?

Lis
xx

[linfran]

DS gets a few (ie about half a dozen) chocolate Buttons or Milky Way stars after his dinner and he was 2 in February.  These are just ordinary milk chocolate but he doesn't get any biscuits or other types of sweets or crisps at all.  Also, he only gets them if he's eaten most of his meal (I don't want him to end up like me always clearing my plate because that's what I was brought up with which has led to issues of its own!).

He would also get vanilla icecream maybe once a week as a dessert.  ALso, he has apple juice maybe once a week but the rest of the time has milk or water.  I don't let him have cordials at all, I don't see why he should need them.  But I do give him the little bit of chocolate but try not to make a big deal of it - I didn't want him thinking it was some sort of "forbidden fruit" and all the more tantalising for that.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

I initially wanted to go down the route of nothing at all - until I really sat and thought about it, and remembered my own childhood. I wasn't allowed ANYTHING - I can count the number of times I had sweets/chocolate on one hand for my whole childhood. Guess what? I now have the sweetest tooth you can imagine, and really struggle with self control. I think I was denied stuff for so long, I just went crazy when I finally realised I could make my own decisions.

So, with ds, I have decided to go down the route of allowing things, and teaching how to be responsible with it. I'm still very choosy what he can have (no artificial sweeteners, etc) but he is allowed a small amount of something, although I do not allow it every day. I am also careful not to use it as a reward for 'good' behaviour/eating his dinner, b/c I think that can set up unhealthy habits for later in life.

Here's a tip - if your lo hasn't had anything sweet yet, start with dark chocolate, rather than sweet milk chocolate. You know the dark 70% chocolate? I did that with ds, and he still likes it now - the benefits are that it's full of antioxidents, not packed with sugar, and rich so you don't need much. If you start with that, then the taste buds will get used to it as a 'treat'. I'm much happier giving him that than sweets.

[RyansMum]

I have everything in moderation and remember the fondness I had as a child for a 10p mixture!

Ryan got a fair bit of choc for Easter (asked the friends for non choc treats so as to not be too mad!) it will last him until at least August as I don't give it to him everyday (he may ask as he loves the taste) but if I say no I just say why don't you have XYZ instead, luckily he loves so many other foods he is happy (99% of the time ) to go with it.

Today I have let him have sweets as it was a special day out for us and he had a little more than normal, the rest however will be dished out occassionally if I think he has done well or been good (without telling him the reason though so that they do not get put on a pedistool).  I think so long as the diet is healthy and balanced the odd sweet or choc is really not harmful.

[irish3680]

Ella gets a snack every night after dinner if she has eaten well. This can range from yogurt or fruit to cookies or ice cream. Most nights it's yogurt or pudding or teddy grahams. On Thursdays we eat dinner at my mom's and that is always a rich snack night, cake, cookies, etc. I feel that restricting will lead to overindulgence later. On the nights that Ella is not hungry for dinner or doesn't want to eat, she doesn't miss her snack. There have been nights that we ate a big dinner or steak or something special and skipped the snack and she didn't care. She doesn't overeat on them and stops when she's all done. Of course I place some limits on them, she can have 1 cookie not 2 or 3. But I think offering and teaching healthy habits is a better route than ignoring that they exist, that sends the message that they are forbidden or bad and that usually leads to excess in the long run.

[Deb_in_oz]

my philosophy is to stock the house with as healthy an optiono as i can find for 80% of their food and then relax about the other 20% which could account for when we are out (for example - i buy low fat ice cream and try to find lower sugar varieties as well but if we are out i will get the best option available but that mostly means they will have full fat and higher sugar ice cream if there is no choice (new zealand natural has a great no sugar vanilla and chocolate icecreams) - rather than say no you can never have ice cream if it is too full of sugar)


in every category of snack food you can find or make your best version if you read the food labels and nutrition info.
for cookies i have found which 3 or 4 have a reasonable amount of sugar to keep in the house (arrowroot, wiggles branded biscuits, ginger snaps - all have 50%+ less sugar than your sugar wafers and iced biscuits etc) plus some recipes for me to make
for crackers i buy wholegrain or baked rather than fried 80% of the time
for gummy lollies which are a RARE treat as they are my #1 addiction and don't want the girls into that - i buy a lower sugar brand
if they are going to have chocolate (also rare apart from birthday parties, easter and xmas and chanukah) i will give them a pack of mini smarties or mini easter egg or 1 gold coin etc

then they don't feel deprived overall if they are aware that sweeter foods can be a part of a healthy well balanced diet rather than seen as a totally banned food. 

[Kimberly®]

We're what you call "bad parents"

DD gets "treats" quiet regularly. I mean we eat them so it doen't feel right her not being allowed.

That said its also balenced with healthy meals and snacks. We are big believers in balence. The more you hold back a treat the more they want it. By her knowing its there she isn't as inclined to throw a fit when mommy and daddy say no. Usually its a pout then she goes and plays. She only gets treats when she eats her meals. No supper no treat kind of deal.

I'm also the mom who gave her DD a big chocolate cake for her 1st B-Day She LOVED is LOL

DD will still often want fruits or veggies before she wants sweets at this point which is more then ok for me Cheese is also very big LOL

Balence is key I think