Please help! 6 week old...doesn't nap well

[KATE999]

Hi,
I'm new here and I'd really really appreciate your help! I have a 6 week old who's about 10.5 lbs now and I have him on an EASY schedule and have for a number of weeks now. He's recently been sleeping 6-7 hours at night (going down at 9pm), wakes up at 3:00-4am and then goes right back down after a feed and wakes up at 6:30-7:00am. SO, the nights are going great and I can't complain about that. I feed him 7 times in a 24 hour period and he seems to be getting enough to make it through the night.

My challenge comes with daytime naps. They are so inconsistent. I very rarely can put him down during the 'window' and have him drift off. I swaddle him, and look for the yawns and I have tried shortening my A time, and also lengthening it and I can't seem to find that window. Everyone says to find that magic window and it works but I can't seem to find it. Sometimes he goes down easily just because he's so tired but mostly I'm frustrated and find that I spend most of my life trying to get him down. Sometimes he just lies there wide awake and will lie there for 2 hours like that and not go to sleep. Other times he starts to fuss and I pick him up and rock him and settle him and put him back down (although I read on the PUPD board that 3 months is the right time to start that?). I've read a few posts about the shh/pat method but don't really know exactly what I should do for that. He will fall asleep usually if I rock him/ jiggle him for a while but I don't want to become dependent on that and I'm desperate to get him in to a routine where I start to get some Y time! Can anyone provide me with some guidance?

I feed him 7 times in a 24 hour period and start my day at 7am. I usually feed every 2.5-3 hrs (BF) throughout the day and DH gives him a bottle (of breast milk) around dinner time.

Thanks in advance!

[stagemanager2]

so even if the routine is crazy could you post it just so we can get an idea of how long he does stay up for his A times?

The next thing I would ask is does he mantra cry himself to sleep?  If so the jiggling and rocking are not nessisary if you allow him to fall asleep on his own... just a thought?

the shpat is great!  esspecially for babes who are starting to get dependent on rocking and motion to sleep.  At this age it's perfect for that... try to hold off on the pupd for when he is older.  I found that my ds was very sensitive to the shooshing and didn't seem to like the pating so I did what I call rub hum... we would hum to him and rub his belly or back to get him to calm... just incase yours is as SENSITIVE as mine... lol

and the nights sound great!  so you know he can transition by himself but just needs a bit of help falling asleep on his own during the day- night and day sleep are totally different animals! (I didn't believe it but it's true!)

[KATE999]

My feeding schedule is roughly:
7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 6:30pm, 9pm (and then one around 3-4am whenever he wakes up).
So I aim for activity/awake time after each feed for 15 minutes or so.

Yesterday here was my day:
6:45am-7:10am feed 1
7:30-9:45am attempt to put down for sleep (unsuccessful)
9:45-10:10am feed 2
11:00am-12:45am asleep (in stroller) - which is always a sure thing but doesn't help with my issue of getting him to nap at home!
12:45am-1:15am feed 3
1:45 try to put down unsuccessfully
3:15 fell asleep in car seat (desperation)
3:45pm-4:10pm feed 4
4:30pm-6:00pm - try to put down (unsuccessful)
6:00pm - feed 5
6:30 - 8:00pm (put down and was a series of falling asleep and waking up and DH and I taking turns rocking and trying to put back down)
8:00pm feed 6
9:15 asleep
3:30-4:00 am awake - feed 7
6:45 awake for day

Up until now I've mainly been jiggling or rocking to sleep just out of desperation because nothing else except the stroller seems to work. It's so frustrating to not be able to put him down at home. The shh/pat thing sounds good to me in theory but I don't exactly know how to put it in to practice. How do you pat a baby on it's back? Pat his tummy? I get lightheaded when I shh loudly for very long...am I the only one? Also, how long does this take and once it's established does it work from then on, or am I committing to  shh/patting for the long term?? Thanks so much for your help.

[KATE999]

Oh, I forgot to answer your question about the A times. I have tried anywhere from 40 minutes to 1 hour and 20 minutes. He is inconsistent in when he shows sleep cues. I usually notice the first yawn and then the second one takes a while to come. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work to put him down after the first yawn because whenever I've tried that, he seems just way too awake and wont even contemplate sleep.

With the shh/pat, do you do it while they're in your arms, and wait until they're on the verge of sleep (droopy eyed) and then put them down and continue it? For how long?

Do you think I should try letting him cry himself to sleep? I don't know if I should. What do you mean by a mantra cry...do you mean that he needs it to get to sleep? When I go in and pick him up, he usually calms down and then I put him back down and he starts to cry again. But then again sometimes this is not the case and he's quite worked up and it doesn't help for me to pick him up. Usually though if DH or I rocks him to sleep he will go to sleep within 20 minutes but the minute we try to put him down (or within the first 5 of him being down) he wakes right back up. Ugh! Sooo frustrating.

[stagemanager2]

well, looking at your routine I guess I would say your A times are too short?  But if you have tried every time from 40min-1hr 20min...  the next thing I would ask is how long did you try each time?  It usually takes up to 3 days to get them totally on track when you change the A time.  We found that changing it 5min at a time for a day or two helped him cope...

The mantra cry is not a "real" cry.  It's more of a whine... it doesn't sound like he is mantra crying himself ... it sounds more like a prop problem.  Odviously all these things you do to get him to sleep are props... but I'm sure the A time also is part of it... I suggest tackle one at a time... ie, wean him from the props, then worry about routine. 

Weaning can be really hard but shpat is great for it... I never did shooshpat the "right" way bc it just bothered ds... I'm sure there is a sticky of it somewhere, but I believe there is info on it in both of Tracy's books... we did what I call rub hum, bc ds was sooo sensitive to the loud shoosh and the patting tended to bother him... to be honest I only looked the explaination over very briefly as I knew it would just bother him so I did it my own way...

wow... a novel!  lol
ps do you know the temperment of your lo?