Desperate for help...25 months old won't eat.

[galaxy2999]

HI everyone!  My daughter is having major issues eating...she has never been a great eater but it has gotten much worse.  I think habits that my husband and I allowed to form isn 't helping.  From the time my daughter was a little over a year, she refused to sit at the table for more than a few minutes, so we allowed her to get down because we didn't want to create stress at meals.  She started to play at dinner time and we would just follow her around and try and give her bites of food, otherwise she would not eat anything.  Recently she has been refusing those bites and not wanting to eat much of anything.  Below is what she had yesterday and it is similiar to what she has eaten the last few days:

1/4 piece toast
3 oz juice (mixed with DHA)
5 oz milk- drank 4 oz
1 pretzel
1/2 cup mac n cheese
5 oz milk
2 bites of chicken stir fry w/ brown rice
7 oz milk

this is similiar to what she has everyday...I use to be concerned because she will not touch any veggies but now she doesn't seem to have much of any real protein either.  In the last couple days my husband and I have tried to tell her she can not play until after dinner...if she plays, we say she is done and bring her dinner into the kitchen.  She will say she is not done yet, so we tell her she can not play while eating dinner.... this has just created more stress because we feel we are confusing her, which is the last thing we want to do.  But we also want to be consistant.  We are so frustrated and stressed, meals have become an awful experience simlpy because we love her and don't know how to help her eat.  Any help would be very much appreciated......Thank you so much.

Pamela

[Katet]

Actually based on my 2 boys & their eating at 2yo, I don't think that is too bad. 2yo do live on very little & infact they only need meat (or protein) the size of their little finger. The amount of protein she needs she will be getting from the milk & cheese. No toddler will ever starve themselves & if my almost 3yo is anything to go on they can be 99%+ in height & still only eat about what your dd does (less the milk)... I often wonder how my youngest got to be so tall when he seems to each very little for about 6.5 days/week & then suddenly I can't fill him up for 1 meal.
Keep offering healthy food & let her decide how much she has... leaving a bowl of cut up fruit on the table for my boys to munch on works here to get a bit extra into them.

[fifibobandmore]

Hi Pamela. I believe most toddlers go through this stage I know my 2 did and what I did was made them a fruit smoothie with 50ml pure apple juice, 1 banana, handful of grapes and 1 strawberry baby yoghurt. They think they are having a milk-shake but they are getting 2 of there 5 a day and a smoothie for a lo is also filling. As for the protein I would try making her meal look fun by making a face or an animal shape. Hope she starts eating something soon

[R TULLOCH]

HI THERE

My 2 year old is worse than that at the moment, she was always a good eater so its come as a real shock to me, she says "dont like food" and runs away at meal times crying and protesting,yesterday all she had was her milk, she rejected all meals, we have tried all sorts of things, dressing the food up, new tasty ideas, fun plates, etc.... and the only thing that worked recently was telling her not to worry because mummy wouldnt make her sit down to eat her dinner, and I handed her food in the car on a trip and she ate the lot without protest......................... Cant do that every meal  time, I am sure its her age and her need to try to exercise control, I just hope it ends soon because I hate making food only to see her perform acrobats around the room letting it go cold.
Any other parents out there been through this and come out the other side?

[galaxy2999]

Thank you all for your help.  She didn't eat any protein again today... I'm just not comfortable knowing her only protein is coming from dairy.  We have tried everything..I have cooked everything and in everyway possible to try and find something she will eat well.  My cabinets and refrigerator are so full, I can hardly close them because I am obsessed with trying to find new things for her...hoping she will eat them.  I have tried the smoothies with fruit and she will drink them but that is just fruit...ugh.  I am frustrated and I know I just have to accept that she will be OK.  Knowing that others have/are experiencing this and their children are fine definitely helps.  Thank you.

Pamela

[We Three]

Sorry I don't have much to offer, but the one thing that came to my mind was that some kids are raised vegetarian, and get their protein only from dairy, so that has to be ok, right? maybe not ideal for what you'd like, but people do it.  Also....since she likes mac & cheese.....could you try hard-boiling an egg, and separate the white part (where all the protein is) and chop it up sooooooo finely to "hide" it in her mac?
Sorry....I know it must be so distressing.....even though you know she'll be fine, it still must be hard.  I'll be watching this thread!!!
 Hugs!!!

[Katet]

R tulloch - I have come out the other side (& we had much less food being eaten than mentioned here) with my 4.5yo & survived, my Sis & SIL have been there too (all our first children are within 18months, so we all learnt from each other.

Pamela the more you obsess the more she WILL refuse. Two year olds want to take control of their environment & they DO know their own appetite. Having been where you are (twice) my suggestions are.
NEVER look at 1 meal or even 1 day look at 1-2 weeks worth of food... they may not eat much of something 1 day but they may do 5 days later.
Pick 4-5 basic foods (eg cut up apple, cheese cubes, bread) & offer it all the time, most toddlers like basic food, many don't like food to be 'mixed up' eg my youngest likes spaghetti bolognaise, but not mixed together, he eats the spaghetti & then the sauce. No way either of mine (or their cousins) will eat casserole type things. They generally like their food close to nature & single tastes. 10 different things a 2yo likes to eat & only those 10 is actually not as unusual as it might seem
Protein from milk is fine, yes it is hard to adjust the mindset if you've grown up with plenty of meat, but it is sufficient... my youngest didn't have milk, refused it as never had anything but breastmilk & I did lots of research on how much he needed to eat.
Many toddlers need to be offered food many times (I've been told anything from 5-20 times) before they will try a new food... with my eldest I'd say some children even 50 times of offering a food.
As a foot note the more you obsesse & set your ideals of how much she will eat the more likely it is she will have food issues. The golden rule around here  is " as parents we need to ensure we  offer our children a healthy range of healthy foods, it is up to our  children  how much & when they choose to eat it." We do have set meal times, but fruit (&veg - but never eaten) is on offer during all awake hours.

[galaxy2999]

I have accepted that this is just how it is going to be...I have to trust she will eat when she needs to.  She still hasn't had any protein, I am going to try the egg white thing, I have tried mixing pureed cauliflower in with mac and cheese before and she didn't eat it, so we will see.  I did start putting pureed avocado in with her milk, I also put a product called kidz super food(it's a choclate flavored powder mix that contains veggies and fruit).  I was actually vegetarian for years and my hair started falling out because I wasn't getting enough protein/iron; I am a big cheese/egg eater too.  I think this is why it is hard for me to believe that milk is enough; but all i can do is offer her the food- right.  Thanks everyone for your help.

[dagautieri]

Hi.  Hang it there.  Sounds like you have tried tons of stuff, but I thought I would throw out a few ideas just in case.  Forgive me if you have tried all this, just trying to help.

-Soups?  My 20 month old will sometimes eat things in a soup that she rejects if I just offer it alone.  You could add beans to a soup easily. 
-Puree some beans and try it on her toast or in her mac & ch (though I have read that such attempts to hide food can backfire and cause rejection of the liked food too...maybe just try a bit at first).
-Beans with cheese melted over it?  Cheese does make everything yummier.  Any kind -navy beans, black beans, kidney beans - I buy canned beans with no sodium (Eden brand).
-What about dips?  Would she dip her toast into a cheesy bean dip?
-Tofu? Cut into cubes in a broth?  Or just warmed up and as finger food?
-Muffins using some kind of grain flour that's a bit higher in protein than white flour?  Plus baking usually involves a couple of eggs, which can't hurt your cause.

GOOD LUCK!

P.S.:  Vegetarians do not get protein only from dairy - other protein sources include nuts, grains, beans beans so many types of beans, tofu.  Saw that in an earlier post (veg = dairy) and just wanted to correct the misconception on behalf of vegetarians

[fifibobandmore]

A soup that my daughhter loves (cold as a drink) is mixed beans and lentil soup. I put a cup of red lentils in a pan with a tin of baked beans in tomatoe sauce, kidney beans, broad beans and half a cup of water once the lentils are cooked puree it up into a liquid using small amounts at a time of broth. I made this when she was ill once and now it has become a regular meal for her with home-made crusty whole-meal cobs in a shape of a teddy's head. She has to have her meals in a pink bowl or on a tiger plate which has 3 diveds on it so her food do not touch. If they touch she runs screaming and will not eat and she will continue screaming until she is viluntly sick and he food that can be made into animal shapes have to been made into animal shapes which I hate doing but if it is going to get her to eat then I guess we have to do what ever it takes. The soup is also 100% suitable for vegetarions as the broth I make from vegetables instead of meat as my daughter has also decided she will not eat meat which is fun as she has an iron dificention which means she is on and off iron supplements upon doctors orders

[dagautieri]

Ooh, I'll have to try that bean and lentil concoction.  I love red lentils - they cook so fast - but the way I used to make them DD isn't so crazy about anymore.

Bummer about the animal shapes...I hope there are cookie cutters or something that make your life easier??

[fifibobandmore]

Yeap but I had to get some of them specially made. Thankfully I have an uncle that works as a plastic moulder so I got him to make me some and all he asked for was for me to cook him and his mum (my grand has mental illness so he looks after her aswell) sunday dinner which I did over at these so I could treat my uncle to nice glass of white wine with my husband's super roast pork dinner for those who eat meat and a roast veg dinner so my daughter and baby

[dagautieri]

Hmmm...you can't be the only person with this toddler demand.  Perhaps you (and your uncle) have a business opportunity knocking.  Create a cute name and package, include half a dozen animal shape cutters, and try selling them locally and see how you do.  You know, in your spare time   After all, who has a plastic molder for a relative!?  It's a sign.

By the way - I tried a new red lentil soup recipe (not your version yet) and DD totally rejected it.  Now I'm wondering if maybe I'm not cooking them long enough.  They are really soft and falling apart, but sort of grainy if you know what I mean.  Sigh.