advice on mealtime discipline w/ 18 mo?

[nona]

my little angel is starting to become a little devil at mealtimes. i don't know how to handle it.

#1 when he is finished, he used to raise his arms and sign "all done". now, he starts throwing his plate, utensil, and cup on the floor.  sometimes we'll get an "all done" but if we are not quick to remove everything there it goes. this isn't at every mealtime, but it is getting more frequent.

#2 during family dinner, if he is finished before we are (which happens often), we will let him down from his highchair. then he wants to sit in our laps while we eat dinner and sometimes wants to eat off our plates. this is really annoying but i am getting some more food in him this way. however, don't want to reward negative/whiney behavior.

in general, he is a pretty easy toddler and a good eater.

TIA!

[irish3680]

Hi Nona,

Ella used to throw her things when she was done too. We just stayed consistent about her saying or signing "all done" and told her it was not proper manners to throw her things. We also made her pick up the thrown items herself and apologize. If I caught her just before things got thrown, I would remind her how to politely say she was finished and then praise her when she made the right choice.

Ella would and has done the second scenario if we let her down when she was done and we are still eating. I'm with you, SO annoying! We have a rule that she needs to stay at the table until everyone is finished, but we allow her to read books or play with small, quiet toys while she is waiting. We also include her as much as possible in the dinner conversation in order to engage her.

[nona]

ok sounds like i'm doing about the same. i'll def get cade to pick up his mess. the last couple of days have been better and he's been eating more as well.

those are great ideas about the toys/books/engaging conversations- DUH!!! why didn't i think of that?! dinner time  is the first chance Dh and I have a chance to talk so we kinda ingnore him (unintentionally of couse).

[amywiz24]

Hi heather!
I just wanted to say that we are roght there with you! (unfortunatelY) and this phase has not been as short as I like. I just feep telling him food is for eating--especialy when i can tell his about to throw something----or you can set your spoon/food/etc ont eh table when you are done.
What's frustrating for me is that sam does this throughout the meal; not just when he is done/bored 

[nona]

well, at least this is normal toddler behavior. these last two days have been much better. i think cade likes the reaction he gets out of me when he throws stuff. i'm going to start being more matter of fact about it and not let him see get annoyed (that will be hard!).

[amywiz24]

good point heather---DS gets a bigger reaction from DH and tends to do it more when he is around vs. me.

[Aly Mac]

Heather,Lilly has been doing this for ages, and is much better now.  Just be consistent with whatever you do.  I have found that L does it when she is seemingly being ignored (she's not, but I may be doing something in the kitchen, say for bfast), if our dog is around (she likes to share.....), and if she is not hungry enough.  We also make sure she stays at the table until we are all finished, and must say she takes longer than us.

She loves to eat stuff from my plate with my fork too.  I don't mind at the mo as she is at least eating! I tend to put it on her plate and she has her own little metal fork that looks like mine.

I've been at this for more than 6months!! and it does improve.  Just be consistent. What I did was if she did it too much, I told her she must be finished, take all the food away from her and move her away from the table.(while in her chair) and bring her back when she has calmed.

hth

[tylersmommy]

We haven't had as much problems with the throwing lately. I like to think that it's because we were soooo consistent with catching her before she did it and praising her for saying all done, but I think it was just a phase that ran its course. But I guess that if we'd done nothing, the phase could be a habit now instead...I digress...

Mackenzie does the lap mooching after she's down from her high chair too. I got her a booster and her own placemat so that's where she can sit if she wants to take bites off my plate. I'll either dish up some of my food onto a separate plate for her or I'll hand her bites from my fork...as long as she's sitting in her own chair. I'll only let her up into my lap when I'm done eating too because her big brother will instantly decide he needs to climb on me as well, and if I'm still eating, they're both pawing at my food and making a mess.

[Aly Mac]

oh yeh, meant to say to praise him for the good manners etc.  works a treat!

[nona]

yes, praising works. i need to make a bigger deal about it but i usually do say "you're doing a good job eating" or "thank you for telling me you are all done", etc

melissa - that is a good idea. if he wants to eat off my plate, i will put him back in his booster (he already uses one) and just move him closer to me.

thanks for all the tips!