Goes down for naps but not night sleep???

[marty]

Hi, everyone.  We have had great success with pat-shush in getting our 14-week-old son to go down for naps.  I do the routine (blinds, swaddle) and pat him a few times and then I can leave.  The problem is in the evenings - he cries for at least half an hour when we put him down, sometimes longer!  We often resort to using the pacifier and even then it takes forever.  We have a bedtime routine of bath, book and cuddle with daddy, then the same routine as naps, but somehow it isn't working at all!  He has had some issues with reflux, but he is on medication now so I'd like to think that isn't the problem.  This is the only time of day he gets like this!  Here is our schedule, although I don't wake him for naps (or for a dream feed), so it can vary a bit.  One other piece of info is that my husband usually puts him down at night and I do most naps, but we try to do exactly the same thing each time.  Any suggestions???

6am - eat, activity
7:15am - sleep
8:45am - eat, activity
10:15 - sleep
12 - eat, activity
1:30 - sleep
3:30 - eat, activity
5:00 - sleep
6:00 - eat, bath
7:30 - bed
1am - feed
4am - feed

[claires mum]

Hmmm..routine looks good and great day time naps (aiming for 3*1.5 hour naps + catnap...which you're exceeding).  One thing that jumps out at me is that his day is 6 - 7.30 = 13.5 hour day.  Most of us aim for a 12/12.5 hour day at this age..so that would be 6 - 6/6.30.  Do you think he's OT when you put him down at night and that's why he's fighting you? 

If you do think he's OT, then you need to either:

1)  shift the day back a little so that there's enough A time between the last nap and bedtime (1 hour 15/20 mins).  You could limit the 2 hour nap to 1.5 hours or cut the catnap down to 45 mins as an example.

2)  leave everything as is and put him to bed 15 mins earlier and see if he goes to sleep a little easier.

Overall....I think you're doing an excellent job and to have only 2 NWs for feeding is outstanding!  I'd go with option (2) for 3 days and see if this has a positive effect.

[marty]

Thanks so much for the feedback.  It is encouraging to hear someone say two NW for feeding is good - everyone else on this board seems to have babies that sleep straight from 10pm to 7am!!  I'm wondering if perhaps he has trouble going down at night because of the reflux.  Last night was super easy to put him down, although it could have been because his second afternoon nap was fragmented (in the car and out and about) and he was tired.  He also didn't go down until 8:45!

So you think he has too long a day??  I'd be happy to shorten it and get more sleep at night, since I basically sleep when he sleeps at night.  What would you suggest?  Reducing naps during the day??  I was told by my pediatrician not to wake him as a general rule, so I let him sleep what he needs.  But you are right I would prefer more sleeping at night.  I suppose I could wake him from naps longer than two hours, to see if that helps.  He takes 2-3 hour naps pretty regularly.  I am also encouraging him to sleep a little later than 6am by leaving him in the crib for a few minutes after he wakes, until he starts to get agitated.

[claires mum]

To be honest, I think you are doing really well and personally, I wouldn't be worried about making any changes at the moment.  If he really starts to resist being put down at night I would think he's getting a little OT and would try to put him down 15 minutes earlier than usual.  Otherwise, I think I would just leave things as they are for the moment.  If he has reflux, then feed him 20 minutes before putting him down for bed and that might stop some of the fussing.

Great idea to leave him in his crib in the am until he needs you...this will work to your favour when he gets a little older.  Truly...you're a star and doing everything right.