19 month old - increasing NW and nap resistance

[jfbd6805]

My DS has started to wake at night again over the past 2 weeks. He has been STTN since New Year's but in the past 2 weeks we have had some really wierd sleep issues. He has resisted his nap and his bedtime and wakes at night at least once. I use WI/WO to put him to sleep. We have a very consistant nap and night routine that hasn't really changed at all since he was a baby. His day usually goes like this:

6:15 wake up
12 nap (used to wait between 5.5 to 5 3/4 hr before nap)
1:30 wake (used to nap for at least 2 hours sometimes 3 but nowadays he takes a much shorter nap ... wish he'd sleep longer b/c he is cranky upon waking)
7:30 bed for the night

He had an ear infection at the beginning of the month and that was when this all started. He was teething but they have come through now so that shouldn't be the issue.

Help! What am I doing wrong?? The NW are progressively getting worse even though I am being consistant with the WI/WO so I am started to wonder if it is working or not. Last  night he woke up at 10:20 and I had to do WI/WO for almost 4 hours before he finally went to sleep for the night. He would go to sleep after a couple of WI/WO and then wake up about 30-40 mins later and the whole process would start all over. I am getting so tired and we are TTC so I need to resolve this issue!

Thanks in advance for your help! You have always been so helpful in the past.

Jude

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Just a quick question about his routine - does he seem particularly tired in the late morning?

I ask b/c 6.15am - midday is a long time to be awake for a lo of that age. Is there a chance of getting him down a little earlier, b/c it sounds like he's getting overtired, and an earlier nap could mean a longer nap and the overtiredness getting better (that should sort the NW too)?

[jfbd6805]

Hi Caroline

Actually I tried making his nap sooner rather than later and that has only made things worse it seems.

He used to have a 5 hr 30 awake time before his nap and did fine, then he started resisting his nap so I stretched it to 5 hr 45, then 6 hours. But I thought 6 hours was too long so I put it back to 5 hr 30 and he fights me every time. I am now trying 5 hr 45 again as that seemed to work the best with him taking a longer nap. He would consistantly take a 2 - 3 hour nap with a 5 hr 45 awake time in AM. However, lately he sometimes only naps 1 hr 30. One time he fought me tooth and nail and finally only took a 30 min nap! I am so exhausted and starting to dread nap/night time as I never know what to expect. I have stayed consistant with my routines and with WI/WO though that is why I reaching out to the BW board as I really am lost as to what to do.

As for his awake time being long he has always done better than expected with longer awake periods. We would really love it for him to sleep until later in the morning and tried a while ago to put him to bed later but he still wakes up at 6ish no matter what. It is very frustrating for us as it would be great to be able to stay up a litte later at night (maybe till and get up a little later in the morning. I feel we would get so much more out of our day then.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

    Well, if he's really unconvinced that he should have an earlier naptime, then I'd suggest an earlier bedtime. Based on your routine, he's getting about 12 hours sleep (less when the nap isn't great), and that's not really enough.

An earlier bedtime should help him catch up, and be much less cranky (then you might find him more amenable to the earlier/longer nap).

Btw, it's not true that later bedtime = later wake up time. In fact, most people find the opposite. The later the lo goes to bed, the less rested he is, so, when it comes to the light stages of sleep in the early morning, they are more likely to be disturbed and wake early. At that age, I always found my ds slept better, with fewer NWs and a more civilised wake up time in the morning, when I'd put him to bed earlier.

I'd aim for him to be in bed around 6.30 - 6.45pm, although perhaps you should do this gradually, say make it 15 minutes earlier every day, so he doesn't find it a shock and fight you too much. I always made it a rule that ds was in bed asleep 12 hours after he woke up, then he was getting a good 12 hours sleep at night, and it wasn't such a disaster if the nap went badly.

HTH

[jfbd6805]

Hi Caroline

Well you are 100% right about late bed not meaning late wake up... I put him to bed at 7:40 and he was up at 4:20, did wi/wo and then he was up for day at 5:40 - ugh. So it will be an early nap today (around 11:30 I imagine) He napped 2 hours yesterday (better than last few days) from noon - 2.

I am just afraid of him getting up even earlier if I put him down at 6:45 for the  night.

He used to get 13 - 14 hours sleep a day but it has been creeping closer to 12 hours and I know it is not enough for him.

I can't remember how much awake time they should have at this age off the top of my head.

Thanks for your advice. Will let you know how today goes.

Jude

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Ouch, that is an early morning

Perhaps the early nap today will mean a good nap, a little catch-up on the overtiredness. The silver lining on the early morning means that an early bedtime shouldn't be that difficult (in theory, anyway )

Good luck!

[jfbd6805]

I managed to get him down at 11:40 so hopefully he'll take a good nap but it was still 6 hours after he woke up. It was just hard to get him down sooner than that b/c of the Sunday morning routine.

How long should awake periods be at this age?

He did wake up cranky this morning. I wish we could go back to the good ol' days where he would talk himself to sleep (maybe even 20 - 30 mins) and wake up happy and chat to himself for 30 or  more minutes before I finally would get him.

Do you think I should go by awake time or by the clock? A friend of mine said that they reset their body clocks if you stay consistant with a certain nap time which is what I had been trying. I was aiming for a 12 noon nap every day but perhaps this has thrown things off a bit. What do you think?

Edited to add: Well, that didn't work out so well.. He had a 3 hour nap (no surprises there!) but our neighbors invited us for dessert at their place so he didn't get to bed till 8am. Only 5 hours after waking up so I am not sure how this will pan out.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Oh dear. How did it go?

Btw - in answer to your question, the BW way is really to go by awake times and watching carefully for cues, rather than sticking rigidly to the clock.

[jfbd6805]

Thanks Caroline! I had forgotten that. Actually he has slept the last two nights and went down for two good naps the past two days so maybe we are getting over whatever it was.

I am sticking with the 5 hr 45 awake time for AM and about 5 ish A time for PM. I will put him down for the night earlier if he wakes early from his nap, but I am hoping he won't! : )

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Oooo, that sounds better. <fingers crossed> for you