Dropping dreamfeed at 8.5 months isn't happening...advice please!!!

[Holloway76]

Hello,

My son is still being breastfed as he won't take a bottle, I give him four milk feeds a day plus a dreamfeed, alongside three solid meals, two of which have puddings. I've been trying to drop the dreamfeed for two weeks now. As I breastfeed I can't really tell how much milk he's taking at this feed so have been decreasing the time I give him the feed by 30 mins every three days. I have got down to feeding him at 8.30 but the problem now is that as I put him to bed at 7pm he really isn't in a very deep sleep by this time so ends up wide awake and also doesn't feed very well at this time. Also, he's now waking up between 3am-4am really hungry so I have to feed him then. I have tried increasing his solids over the course of the day which he seems to be enjoying and eating, the problem is he sometimes doesn't seem to fussed about his mid morning and mid afternoon milk feeds and I don't think he takes very much. It's almost as though he's not feeding during the day on milk but then is stocking up at night. I don't know what to do, should I be encouraging him to drop the dreamfeed first or perhaps his mid-morning milk feed- which sometimes he just doesn't seem to want? Should I give him a light dinner so he takes more milk at bedtime around 7pm? Is he waking out of habit? All my friends babies who are on formula are sleeping through the night now- I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. Even my friend who is breastfeeding her daughter who is 6 weeks older than my son is now down to 2 breastfeeds a day. I'm going back to work in August and so worried about how he is going to feed in the day.

His feeding routine is:

3-4am milk feed (before I tried to drop the dreamfeed it would be 6am)
7.30am breakfast
10.30 milk
12 lunch
2.30pm milk
5pm dinner
7pm milk

I really am at a loss as to what to do, and as I'm the only one who can feed him am absolutely exhausted. I thought by 8.5 months we'd be starting to drop milk feeds, not increase them! Don't know what I'm doing wrong

Any advice would be great.

Emma

[Samuel's mum]

This isn't what you want to hear but if you look at our FAQ on night sleep you'll see there are plenty of 8 month olds who don't make a full 12 hours without a feed (or being thirsty).
You could try and work on increasing the efficiency of the daytime feeds by feeding in a darkened room to minimize distraction and try and get him to stay on the breast by switching sides more than once or using breast compressions (FAQ again).
Perhaps you could bring dinner a bit earlier - like to 4-4.30. He'll probably take a bit less and may want more milk at 7pm.

You have to find what works for you and him. Personally if I was a working mum in your situation I would keep a dreamfeed as it would ensure my night's sleep wasn't affected and it would also be beneficial for my supply to have another breastfeed in 24 hours. So a feed at 10.30 would have benefits in many ways - as long as it wasn't starting to damage sleep cycles. But that's just my 2 cents.

Try not to do too much comparing. All babies are different and your group of friends is not a representative sample. BTW 2 breastfeeds at 9 months is really not a lot. Is she also supplementing? 2 feeds a day may only be as a little as 12oz of milk (at this age it should be more like 20-24oz). I wouldn't think 2 feeds is sufficient until 12 months when there is also a fair bit of dairy/ calcium sources in the diet. Don't think that 2 feeds is a goal - that's unusual.