New to BW - Will it get easier?

[mami2diego]

Hi all,

Very happy to have found Tracy's book and this forum - there is so much useful information, I'm relieved to have some help (although a bit overwhelmed at times). I have a few questions for the experts here:

First, I should introduce my LO. Diego is 3 weeks old, born 8lbs 7oz (about 4kg) at full term. After reading Tracy's personality types I would guess that he is a combination of Textbook and Spirited. For the first week he seemed like an Angel - never cried, rarely fussed, ate well - although I suspect this is the case for most newborns.

I am exclusively BF-ing and he is gaining weight very well (weighed 8lbs 13oz at 1 week and 10lbs at 2 weeks).

I've started a 3 hour EASY routine as of yesterday - as you all know, it's anything but easy. However, I can already appreciate some of the benefits, as now I almost always know what Diego is asking (crying) for and, mentally, I have a sense of "what's next" in the day.


Here are my questions/concerns:

1. We live in New York City in a big, open loft space, so there are no real bedrooms, per se. As a result, Diego's bassinet is in our "bedroom" near our bed, but even when in his bassinet he is exposed to lights and sounds of the rest of the apartment. Do you see this as a significant obstacle to implementing successful sleep habits? All of Tracy's examples seem to have the baby in their own room.

2. Through the first three weeks, I would just set Diego down for naps when he would fall asleep at the breast. Sometimes he would sleep 30 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. (He also sleeps almost immediately when we go outside in the stroller). Now that I'm following the EASY routine, it takes me AT LEAST 20 minutes to get him down for a nap - sometimes followed by several revisits. I swaddle him and then hold him upright against my chest and shush/pat and then set him down, continuing shush/pat in the crib, picking him up when he cries. He definitely goes through "fits" of fighting the swaddle, writhing and emitting high-pitched screams. Is this just normal newborn behavior to fight the nap? Is this characteristic of a spirited baby? Or could something else be wrong that I'm not thinking of?

3. The 20+ minutes of shush/pat seems like it will get a bit tedious day after day, multiple times a day. Does this get easier? At some point will he start to wind down more quickly/soothe himself to sleep?

4. He still gets up pretty much every 2 - 2 1/2 hours through the night. At this early age I'm assuming I should still be feeding him every time he wakes, right? At what point do I need to test if this is habitual waking rather than hunger? (I haven't gotten him to take a pacifier yet).

I know it's still early in the game for us, as this was just day two of EASY. But last night was terrible - he woke up at least 4 times (I lost count) and the sleep deprivation is making me very anxious for some results!

Thanks in advance for your help and wisdom!
Ivonne

[elmarie]

Hi Ivonne and welcome to the BW boards  you will find it a very suppotive community and congratulations on little Diego's arrival 

He is still brand new and mommy and baby still need to get to know each other but great that your are starting EASY with him, it is never to early.  Remember that sleep training is a process and it is going to take some time, especially because he is so young and still needs to learn to self-sooth.

To try and answer your questions.

1.  Ideally now is a good time to introduced the 4s (p181 in BSAYP) with your LO.  Of course you cannot Move.  Is it maybe possible to create a space that is calm and less stimulating-maybe some sort of screen that can remove him from stimulation when it is sleepy time.  One of my friends had the same issue and she used her en suit bathroom at sleepy time LOL 
2. Remember shh/pat(like other sleep training methods) will take time to work, especially because he is so long and 20 min for now is the minimum.  Shh/pat is a calming method and is teaching him to calm himself, after which he will learn to self-sooth.  With my Lo this only happened at 3 months, so it can take a while.  You need to just be consistent and stick to it and keep the goal of independent sleep in mind.
3. yes
4.yes, and you can pop over to the EASY boards to see how to start moving his schedule to a 3h EASY

HTH   

[coopers_mommy]

I only have advice for you concerning the seperate space for your LO.

Maybe you could put some dark sheets or blankets up along the ceiling as to make a corner be all his so that lights and such aren't bothering him?  I know it may look funny, but my LO has to have his room all dark or he can't sleep so he has dark blankets over his windows!  At your LO's age, I don't think it should bother him too much, but just some ideas for later on.

As for everything else, always post on here...everyone here is GREAT!  When my DS was that young we were still at the stage of bf'ing to sleep and co-sleeping so NW's I rarely remembered! 

[luckylot]

I don't have much to add, since we are still working out the daytime sleep with our 5 1/2 week old DS#2, but I did want to say I second the BFing and co-sleeping at night, I am so refreshed in the morning, even with 3+ wakings at night, and I don't even let my LO fall asleep at the breast, he goes back into his snuggle nest between DH and I.  I think I sleep until he's done and instinctually know when it's time to remove him, I attempt a burp and lay him right back down.  I didn't do this the first time around (with DS#1) and boy was I a basket case every day, nooo sleep!  Co-sleeping is one of those things that you really have to be comfy with though, it's not for everyone.

Good luck with EASY, it really does pay off.  Although we are still doing the training with DS#2, I can say that from experience with a NON-sleeper (DS#1) it took a while (about 4 full weeks when he was 4 1/2 months old) but man did that work pay off big time.  He's never been a great sleeper, but he could fall asleep on his own, nap well and consistently and put himself back to sleep (the biggest one for me at night) on his own.  So keep it up, it DOES pay off.

Jessica