Naps at nursery - not happening

[anna*]

Hey all
Stan's just turned 8 months and doing GREAT on his EASY at home. He usually has 3 hours of sleep in the daytime (2 x 1.5hr naps), and a 12 hour night (with a dreamfeed) so I really have nothing at all to complain about. I am aware that' we're not very flexible about naps though - it's difficult for him to nap elsewhere than in his cot in his room.l I wonder if I should try and encourage him to have naps in different places, ie even on mummy and daddy's bed with me... he won't even nap in his pushchair except on rare occasions.

However, three days per week he is cared for by people other than me. One day he spends with his Gran, and two days he is at nursery. Until two weeks ago he was napping great at nursery, somewhat erratically at Granny's. But the last two weeks his days at nursery he's having a TOTAL of MAXIMUM 1.5 hours for the whole day. One day he had one nap of 15 mins and one of half an hour. I have talked to nursery and said that seriously, a fifteen minute nap is really not a nap and Stan needs his sleep and if he wakes up that quicklky can they please try very hard to get him back to sleep. So they said yes they would try harder but still, only getting short naps. Same at granny's (she's been having 2 x 45 minute naps).

I tend to watch his cues as well as the clock but I'm wondering if nursery would find it easier (and Stan would find it easier) if I put his naps at set times? As I say he is doing great at home, but when I pick him up at 5 and he's only had 45 mins sleep all day, the poor guy is a wreck, dark rings around his eyes, laughing and crying at the same time. It's all I can do to help him keep it together long enough to get home and have a cuddle and go straight to bed. We both need for him to be better rested so that mummy and Stanley can have a little time for a story and a nice bath and a cuddle together in the evening after a day apart.

Any advice on naps when not at home would be so gratefully received.

anna
x

[*Nicola*]

Hiya

We've never had to deal with nursery but just a couple of thoughts:

1) Do nursery do the wind down etc as you do it?  Does he have white noise or anything at home that he doesn't have at nursery?

2) Does he have a lovely?  If not it might be a good idea to introduce one to help as a sleep cue

3) If you were to set naps at specific times, how would he respond to that?  I do this with Callie, so if she is up early then the naps and bedtime still run on track However, if he is touchy then you may struggle to do this.  Does he get OT easily?  If he is happy to have set naps times then this might be a great idea

I know *Paula* Bottlefeeding mod has exactly the same problem that you describe.  At one point her DD had a super long late afternoon nap but I'm not sure what they are doing now.  I'll ask her to pop in here

(((Hugs)))

[anna*]

Thanks for replying Nic

Naps at home and at nursery ARE different, but he's been having good naps there for 3 months, all of a sudden they've gone haywire! We have white noise at home, at nursery they have soft music playing. He has a lovey at nursery (two identical bunnies - one lives at home one lives at nursery). I think I might try doing naps at set times. He's pretty much textbook/angel. Out of interest, what times are your naps? I think Callie is a bit older than Stan. I was thinking 9.30am and 2pm so we would go
7 E/A
9.30 S
11 E/A
2 S
3.30 E/A
6.15 bath
6.30 BF
6.45 story
7 sleep

Is 3 hours daytime sleep about right at this age (8 months) do you think? I'm wondering whether 2.5 hours as the first A time might be a bit long for him, and he might struggle if he wakes up at 6.30 (happens sometimes).

anna
x

[* Paula *]

Hi Anna,

I understand completely what you are going through.  Before DD started nursery, we were on a perfect routine with 2 x 2 hour naps, but then she started nursery, and our whole routine went out the window 

I finish at 3:00pm, so the kids are collected and at home by 3:30pm.  DD would fall asleep on her bottle, and I would end up putting her down for a nap.  She would then sleep until about 6pm when I would go and wake her, so that I could still get her down at a decent hour.

We too went through a period where she was having fantastic naps at nursery 2 x 1.5 hour naps, and she was just so happy, and so easy tod eal with in the afternoon.

But things have also gone haywire for us too.  She is generally taking about a 50 in - 1 hour 10 minute nap in the morning, and then in the afternoon, she was taking a longer nap of about 1.5 hours, but now this nap has gone wonky too.  Today she had an hour in the morning, and 45 minutes in the afternoon  .  We don't do set nap times, but our A time is 3 hours in the morning and 3.25 - 3.5 hours in the afternoon.

I am not sure what is going on with her naps in nursery, but on days where she has had absolutely no sleep, I tend to give her a 45 min - 1 hour cat nap just so that she is not in meltdown mode.  She is generally not happy when I wake her up, but it does make it getting to bedtime a lot easier.

At the moment our bedtime is around 6:15pm, as because her naps are so short, she battles to make it to a later bedtime.  This in turn causes problems, as she ends up waking up waaaay too early in the mornings 

We are just at the moment trying to take each day as it comes.  Even on days when she is the only baby there, and has total peace and quiet, she can end up having short naps.

Sorry I have not been of much help, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and just wanted to send you some hugs, and I hope things improve for you 

[anna*]

Thanks for this Paula - sorry you're going through it too but I appreciate the support.

Poor Stan had another rough day today. An hour after lunch, but only TEN MINUTES in the morning. I'm a bit annoyed about that really. I mean, to me, if he wakes after ten minutes it's not the end of the nap, it's just that he hasn't fallen fully asleep yet, iyswim??  **sighs**. I don't know. His main carer said that they tried rubbing his back, tried walking with him, but every time another child coughed or made a noise, he was wide awake and looking around. Trouble is I don't even know how to suggest they help him sleep, because at home he goes straight off to sleep and, more often than not, I have to wake him up!

At nursery he doesn't seem to get all whingey when he's tired, so maybe they're not seeing the importance. Today he was totally manic with tiredness. He basically went straight up for a bath and to get ready for bed as soon as we got home at 5.30, and he had this huge grin on his face the whole time, and in the bath he was completely over-excited, splashing so much he scared himself, then inconsolable, then when he recovered grinning and giggling like a maniac - but I could tell it was because he was completely exhausted and his emotions were out of control. He was in bed and fast asleep by 6.05. I feel upset because when he doesn't sleep at nursery I don't get to spend any nice time with him in the evening, and I miss him! 

I am working from home on some freelance bits while he is at nursery but tomorrow I think I will pick him up early at say 4 so that if he hasn't slept I can get him home in time to have a catnap before bed. The poor soul I hate to see him that way.

Hope things get better for both of us soon, and thanks again so much for the support.

((hugs))

anna
x

[* Paula *]

I so know what you are talking about.  It is so hard when they go from one extreme to another.  My DD most of the time naps perfectly at home, but things just go so haywire at nursery.  We are always back on tack on the weekends.

I think that the fact that they can get so over stimulated at nursery does make it hard for them to wind down properly.  I have never had 30 min naps from my lo until she started nursery 

Definitely worth picking him up early tomorrow if you can.  At least you can try to get a bit of a cat nap in and then spend some quality time together.

Hope tomorrow is better for you 

[anna*]

I picked him up at 3 as he had had two half hour naps. Better than some days but definitely not enough. I put him in his cot at 3.30 and he fell straight to sleep for an hour. Was very upset to be woken up at 4.30. ('What mummy? Everyone kept telling me to sleep and then when I went to sleep you woke me up!?') But we had a lovely evening (once he recovered from being woken up) and he went straight to sleep at 7 with no tears.

I think I'll try putting his naps at set times - maybe it will help, and it probably won't hurt. I'm thinking 9.30 and 2: we'll see how it goes.

[* Paula *]

Awww I am pleased that he had a nice nap this afternoon, and you got to spend some quality time together.

We on the other hand had the worst day ever at nursery today  She woke at 5:20 am (so unlike her), she was really snotty (sorry TMI) and very chesty coughing quite a bit.  She napped for 15 mins in the morning  she has never done this before,and 40 mins in the afternoon.

Dropped the kids at MIL this afternoon as I had to go back to work, and MIL could not get her back down.  Brought her home, gave her her bottle, and she took about 30 mins to settle, again so unlike her.

Hoping that we can get back on track this weekend, but with her not feeling well I am not holding my breath 

[anna*]

Hi Paula - I just came back to check in and now I see you're getting married TOMORROW!!!!!! Have a wonderful, wonderful day.

When your feet are back on the ground, how is DD getting on at nursery now? After this thread, I decided to try putting Stan down for his naps at set times every day (he is only at nursery 2 days per week until October when it will be 3 days) and so far touch wood it has worked really well. I've been giving him naps at 9am and 1.30 pm for the last two weeks at home. His naps at nursery and at his grannys are gradually getting longer - yesterday he had 2 x 1 hr naps and today he had one of 1.5 hrs and one of 1hr! SO much better! It seemed odd to watch the clock after all these months of watching cues, but he's basically a textbook boy and this seems to be working out well for us.

Hope things are getting better for you too...

anna
x

PS Congrats again on your big day... Oh I love a wedding!!

[* Paula *]

Thanks for the best wishes  Yes I am still on BW on my wedding day, I am a devotee 

DD's naps are so so.  They are a bit all over the place as our routine has gone out the window with having a house full of people, but she is handling it ok.

Fingers crossed they will get back on track next week when family has gone.

I am pleased that the set naps are working.  Keep us posted 

[smck]

Hi there

Hope you don't mind me jumping on this thread. Was reading it with great interest as my lo starts nursery soon and his naps is one of my concerns.

Anna, can I ask if the nursery Stan goes to has a separate sleeping room for babies?

Nic and Anna, do you stick to set times with your los even if they wakes a bit earlier/later in morning.  Lewis wakes between 6.20 to 7am most mornings so would sticking to strict times work?

Paula, best wishes on your wedding day. You really are a devotee

[anna*]

Hi!

As Nic said earlier in the thread, I think it depends on the temperament of your LO. Stan is pretty much a textbook/angel boy, so he can cope fairly well with having his naps at a set time even if he wakes up early or if his first nap is very short.

Nursery doesn't have a separate sleep room. The downstairs room is for naps and for quiet play when nobody's sleeping. Each child has their own fold-up mat which is kept in a basket with their teddy/blankie/whatever they need to sleep. They just sleep on the mats on the floor.

Stan generally wakes up between 6.45 and 7.15 (I know I should wake him when he sleeps late but I JUST CAN"T make myself get out of bed  ) and has his first nap at 9. Occasionally he will wake up earlier (just now we are going through a phase of early morning poops  ), if he wakes earlier than say 6.30 I might bring the first nap forward by 10 or 15 minutes but the next nap stays at 1.30.

I hope this helps? How old is Lewis? How are his naps at home?

anna
x

[smck]

Hi Anna

Lewis is almost 10 mths old. His sleeps are pretty good at home, normally 1 1/2 hr am and pm. He is also a textbook/angel baby. 

I may start set nap times in advance of him going to nursery.

Stan generally wakes up between 6.45 and 7.15 (I know I should wake him when he sleeps late but I JUST CAN"T make myself get out of bed  )

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes Lewis sleeps till 7.30am and I just relish lying in bed

Thanks for the response and good luck with the naps.


Sharon
x