Teary Mom

[TSartain]

Hi Everyone, I don't even know where to begin or even if this is the appropriate place to post.  My DD was such an angel baby.  She fell into the EASY plan with no problems and slept through the night at 3 months and napped on schedule and for at least 1.5 hours each if not longer.  My DS however, is on the opposite page, I can't get him to follow a EASY plan I've tried it all.  I thought I was a pro since my DD did so well, I thought wrong.  His naps are short, he wakes in the night. I feel unsuccessful and like a failure for not being able to get him on a EASY plan.  He falls asleep at night on his own with no problems a couple of whines here and there, but overall does wonderful.  Nap time, however he needs assistant, but not much.  I do not nurse to sleep, I did that with DD and didn't want to start that habit with him.

There have been a few times he slept until 6 am, but they are rare.  Sometimes I can got in and just give him the paci and he goes right back to sleep.  Other times I have to pick him up.  Last night he woke 4 times and 3 of the times he put himself back to sleep and the 4th time I went in, gave him the paci and he slept until 7 this morning.

Last week my DH and I went on vacation and my brother took care of them.  DS slept through all 5 nights for them, however the first night I came home he woke 3 times and hasn't slept through at all.  He napped extremely well for them as well and this week I can barely get 40 min. each time.  He was fed BM by bottle the whole week, so I'm not sure if he got more and that was able to help him sleep through the night which in turn helped him nap better.  Maybe he is not staying on long enough to get enough milk via breastfeeding.  Just not sure where to turn, he is tired, I am tired...I feel like I should be able to get him on a routine, but nothing seems to be working.  I feel like I am failing him.

Please help!

[lilac83]

*Hugs*
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Every baby is different (as you well know!). I think it's a good sign that he's putting himself back to sleep at night. I have read on here that babies work on night sleep from 0-3 months and day sleep from 3-6 months. So, you may be able to do some tweaking to your day schedule (you could post it so people can make suggestions) but it may be that he's just having a tough time transitioning right now between sleep cycles. This is what my LO is working on right now.
You are definitely NOT failing him! I have felt like that and also like I'm failing my husband since I'm a SAHM, but really just step back, take some deep breaths and enjoy your LO!

[brenda2]

hi
how old is your LO?  does he have any props other than the paci?

do you think your main problem is the naps, the NWs or the EASY routine itself?  not sure where to put this post.  if you think it is a nap issue can you post your routine and we'll take a look?

[TSartain]

Thanks everyone!  His routine is all over the board, but on a good day it looks like this.  DS is 5.5 months old.

If he wakes at 6 am to bf he generally goes back to sleep until 8:30 or so.

If not then like this morning he woke at 7:30 am (great morning to start).  He woke at 5 am this morning and DH went in and gave him the paci and he rolled over and went back to sleep until 7:00ish I heard him and went in and he found his paci again and then slept until 7:30 am.

7:30 am wake and bf
9:00 am cereal
9:30 am nap (use to be 1.5 to 2 hours), however this past week it's only been 45 min.
10:20 am wake
11:30 am bf
1:30 pm nap (again use to be at least 2 hours), however now only 1 hour tops.
3:30 pm bf
4:00 pm try to get a cat nap due to poor naps during the day
7:00 pm bottle of BM (5 oz)
7:30 pm bath, books and bed (able to put himself to sleep)
10:20 pm DF

Again this is a good day..if he wakes at 6:00 am or 6:30 am I BF and then he usually goes back to sleep then when he wakes at 8:30 am I do cereal at 9:00 am and start the routine from there, however he usually doesn't want to nap right away again.  I generally use the rule of thumb 2 hours of A time, because he is usually yawning by then.

This morning he was yawning during cereal so I did nap immediately afterwards and he went right to sleep, however woke after 45 min. again and can't get him to go back to sleep.  Not sure if he is teething either, he chews on everything.

He only uses a paci to get to sleep.  He doesn't wake if it falls out, so I'm assuming its not a prop, or am I wrong on that?  He needs most of the time to get back to sleep if he does wake, however on some occasions he does get back to sleep on his own with out it.

Naps are his biggest deal right now, I believe that is causing the NW, because he is OT.  I don't know how to get him to take longer naps.

[brenda2]

since he is 5.5 mo he may need slightly longer A times first thing, but if he is always taking short naps now then he probably needs shorter A time after the short nap.  are nap times set or do you put him down based on previous nap length and count A time from when he last woke.  this is what you should be doing.

so if he naps for 45 min (meaning he was likely UT prior to nap) then count A time from then and put him down for next nap about 1.5 to 2 hours max from when he woke up rather than waiting until next "nap time".  kwim?  your A times are really all over the place and not consistent throughout the day which is probably the problem.

paci often becomes a prop around this age so really watch it.  if he's waking at night and will only go down after you give the paci then this may be a problem and he won't learn to go back to sleep until he can do the paci himself or you get rid of it altogether.  babies wake at night and he needs to be able to roll over and go back to sleep without crying out for the paci.

you could try A time of 2 hours 15 min first thing, then if he does a long nap (1.5 to 2 hours) repeat this A time for the next one, but if a short nap (45 min) reduce A time to around 1.5 hours and see how he does.  this will screw up feed times but just fit them in best you can around the naps even if it means 2 naps before the next feed or feeding slightly (20 min) early to get in the next nap.

[TSartain]

Well yesterday we had a good morning.  He woke around 8:00 am (of course he still had NWs), however he then ate cereal around 9:30 and was down for morning nap around 10:15 am and slept 2 hours.  So we put him down 2 hours later around 2:15 and he slept only 45 min.

Then this morning he was awake at 7:00 am, cereal at 9:00 am and then put down for nap around 9:30 am and slept a little less than an hour.  Going to put him down today at 12:30, two hours after he woke and see how he does for pm nap.

 

[brenda2]

sounds like if he does a long nap he can handle more than 2 hours A time.