Birthday Party for 3 year old...WWYD?

[A_C]

Hi guys,

I don't know if this is the place to post my qeurie and griping? Anyway...I don't drive as some of you know, I therefore don't go and do too many activities and get together through playgroups as a result. Although I do feel the great need to drive soon ( I have had a phobia from bad accidents in the past seemed to have reached a serious state of inertia when it comes to it...I really freak out & freeze everytime I decide that I will learn with DH this time around...it's a whole 'nother post really).

At any rate DD's friends consists of one girl in the neighborhood...she also used to have a friend who would come over regularly (whom I would babysit once a week last year, but that has ended ...and she has even attended his birthday party). At any rate DD will be turning 3 on the 30th of December. We live in Colorado and at that time it is usually in the dead of winter, snowy, icy etc. So if one was to have parties..the venue is kind of limited unfortunately (no parks and piniatas etc). At any rate...I was wondering what you guys do? Do you guys throw a big party? I see my friends from elsewhere make it a point to have BIG parties for their kids (especially those that are from my country...my goodness I sometimes wonder where they find the friends); I also notice opthers who have just a small immediate family celebartion (i.e. mom, dad and kids). DD doesn't go to school so no friends from there. I stay home and am homeschooling her for now. I know that at this stgae she doesn't care for a party but I sometimes feel bad that I cannot give it to her...especially with just  real friends. I feel odd inviting the other kids in the neighborhood for a playdate/party...she doesn't really know them. The past 2 years she has had a very small celebration (cake blowing and opening of pressies with just us. Last year we took her to the Build a bear workshop).
Maybe it is just self serving...or just me that is bothered by the whole thing, as it obviously isn't her. Am I over reacting? So can you tell me what do you guys do or what would you do if you were in my position? Do you have those major party for your 3 year olds? I truly feel ridiculous posting this but feel kind of bad about not being able to throw DD a party. If anyone would understand I know it would be you guys though.

TIA guys!

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

We haven't done the 'big' party yet. I went through the same as you - guilt that you're not putting on a big bash. But, at the time, ds was just not into the social scene like that yet - he's not a great mixer with other children, prefers the company of adults. He'll play one-on-one with a child, but tends to get overwhelmed with more than that.

Anyway, I finally decided to come down on the side of ignoring that nagging guilt, and really thinking what would make ds's day special for him. So, on his third birthday, we went to a local farm, had a nice day, and came back for a birthday tea with my parents, my grandmother, and our neighbours (who ds adores). He had a really good day, and I was happy that we did something for him, not what we were 'supposed' to do.

[jobi]

None of mine have had the 'big' party either. Ds1 is 11.
We do something special each year on their birthday, then come home for birthday cake, candles etc.

Ds2 has asked for a party next year, he'll be 7. I think we'll do it but he proably won't have anymore.

Sometimes i do feel a bit guilty when other kids are having a party every year, but like Caroline says you should do something on their birthdays that are special for them.

[Chantel03]

We don't do huge parties, but we do do parties. His 2nd was at chuckie cheese which is great, because they do all the work. He just had 2 friends there parents, his grandparents, and us at that one. Then his last 2 I let him pick a theme we ordered the stuff for it and had a backyard bbq. He had 4 kids come to this one, but they have fun running around and playing games.

I know you cant do a backyard thing, but what about inviting his friend and getting a hotel room with a pool. Or the bowling ally. Going to his favorite restaurant. There's ton's of stuff you could do. If you wanna do it at  your house to try to get some more kids coworkers with kids is a great way to get some kids to come, or neighbors. but I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be fun for him.

[RyansMum]

I do a party mainly cos I love doing it for him and seeing him get excited but its not a big big bash (though this years was a little bit) but there is no law that says you have to do a party. What about a birthday tea with the  2 other children and then take him out for the day as a family to somewhere he loves. If the weather makes that impossible perhaps save the day out for when the weather improves?

[Jaime]

we have parties, but for the most part... it's so our group of friends (and their kids) can all get together!!  very much like a very big playdate.  everyone's so busy these days, that it seems like we only see each other at all of our kids parties. 

if you don't want that, then i see no reason to do it. 

[EllenS]

I've heard a rather old-fashioned "rule of thumb" that advises one guest per year of age, and it makes sense to me, so 2-3 other children would be just about right for a 3 yo IMO.

[A_C]

Thank you sooo much for your rsponse guys...big big help in alleviating my concerns. After reading these I feel soo much better about not having thrown any parties for her just yet.
Caroline...Sophia is like Charlie in the sense that she is very comfortable with adults and at thsi stage doesn't really ask to be around other kids...if they happen to be there, then she is fine but maybe because I am her regular playmate she doesn't necessarily long for their company.  It is also a relief to know that I am not alone in feeling guilty about not being able to throw her parties. It isn't like she has asked for one. I shall ignore the nagging guilt as well since it is more my issue...after all it does cost money and I would rather put the money towards a nicer gift as well.
In the future I will definitely consider a playdate kind of set up like what you do Jaime. Especially when I manage to gather up the courage to learn how to drive and involve ourselves more in those. Unfortunately we don't have family over here and most of my friends either do not have kids or have any DD's age. Chuckie Cheese sounds  like a good indoor event for during the winter too..maybe later on when she is older and if the budget allows.

I've heard a rather old-fashioned "rule of thumb" that advises one guest per year of age, and it makes sense to me, so 2-3 other children would be just about right for a 3 yo IMO.

This is an excellent idea! Will definitely consider this for the future...it also saves on money IMO.

Again thank you soo much everyone! I was afraid I was over reacting. Nice to see that there are others who have felt the same way as well.

[aidliz]

We have a big party...both lo's birthdays are in the summer, 3wks apart so we have one big party and a smaller one on their real birthday...but they are big bc we have a large family, but only one  other child, thier cousin.

You could just do something reallly special with her one friend...and have a party for family.

[A_C]

We have a big party...both lo's birthdays are in the summer, 3wks apart so we have one big party and a smaller one on their real birthday...but they are big bc we have a large family, but only one  other child, thier cousin.

You could just do something reallly special with her one friend...and have a party for family.

What fun! I'm sure they just love it.
I guess I feel this way because I am so used to having had big parties myself as a little girl growing up (with games, balloons, giveaway gifts lots of kids etc)....it just was that way. So I guess this is why I have been feeling some guilt. And to top it off I see pictures of friends (not where I live..either a different state or a diff. country) who also have held decent sized parties for their toddlers DD's age. But having read all the posts and even listening to DH who never had any of that, puts everything in perspective for me. I do wish we had family here at least, but it's really okay, we will do something intimate and very special with DD, after all this is what she is used to...she doesn't know any better. LOL

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Amd I bet she'd love that more than anything .

[jobi]

I've heard a rather old-fashioned "rule of thumb" that advises one guest per year of age, and it makes sense to me, so 2-3 other children would be just about right for a 3 yo IMO.

I wish i'd known that before, i'd have done their one and only party when they were 2