14 mth old takes 45 minutes to get to sleep at night & only naps 1 HR sometime

[JulieNG]

Hello,
WOW, I'm so glad this site is back up!!!!!

DS usually wakes between 6:30-7:30 (average 6:45 ish) and we've been on one nap for about a month. We transitioned for almost 3 months and it was NOT easy!! Anyways, I've been putting him down at noon every day or 5 hrs after his wake time. Some days he will only sleep one hour and wakes up fussy and obviously still tired. Some days he sleeps 2-2.5 and it's great. I've totally played with A times (shorter & longer) and can't seem to figure him out. Bedtime is 7 and he goes to bed happy and is quiet for 15 minutes and then babbles happily and finally falls asleep at 7:45. Can anyone offer suggestions? How can I get him to sleep longer? Is it normal for him to take 45 minutes to fall asleep. Sometimes I put him down at 6:45 and the same thing happens.

[becky1969]

Have you noticed a difference between how quickly he falls asleep on long nap days as opposed to short nap days?

My guess is he's still adjusting to 1 nap.  Some days he's just tired enough at noon, and so has a nice long nap.  Some days he's slightly overtired by that time, so short naps.  That's natural and normal -- he's still stretching into a 5 hour A time, and so depending on how his night sleep was, whether he's teething, has a growth spurt, or who knows what secret toddler thing is going on he makes it on some days and doesn't on others.

I think I'd keep some notes for a few days, and see if there's any difference between the bedtime behavior on short nap and long nap days.  I suspect he's OT at bedtime -- perhaps on both days!  Putting to bed at 6:45 probably didn't make a difference as he needs more like 30-45 minutes earlier to probably kill the OT probablem.  If he wakes at 1 pm (a 1 hour nap), then you want him ASLEEP no later than 6 pm!  If he wakes at 2/2:30 (2-2.5 hour nap), then a 7 pm bedtime should be sufficient.  If it's not, you can try 6:30 and see if it works better for him.

One thing that I finally figured out with my son is that he needs *less* A time in the afternoon as opposed to the morning.  So, even now at 2.5 y.o., he only has 4.5 hours of A time after his nap before bedtime.  More than that, and we get EWs.  You may want to go with a SUPER early bedtime for awhile and see if that helps the falling asleep thing.

Of course, if it's not broke don't fix it! In other words, sounds like you're getting 11 hours of sleep at night which is great!  No NWs/EWs, and I'm not sure I'd worry too much.  I think I might play with that nap a little bit -- maybe watch really closely and see if you see any sleepy signs on short-nap days to show that he's OT by noon -- just to lengthen it, but other than that you mgiht just want to hang out and wait for him to grow into the A time a bit better.  My guess another month or two and you'll get consistent long naps and a more easy bedtime!  (Long post just to say might as well keep it all the same!  )

[JulieNG]

Hello,

Thanks for your help!

Sometimes I notice a difference and sometimes not!! Today he woke at 7:30, napped from 12:20-2:40 and was in bed at 7. Normally he babbles till 7:45 and is asleep. Today my mom was babysitting and she said he didn't fall asleep till 8 and was crying the last 15 minutes. Now that was a good nap day! But yesterday was only 1.40 minute nap day so maybe he's recovering from yesterday? It's like an every other day thing (one day good nap, one day not), but bedtime is pretty much 45 minutes. I will try an earlier bedtime and see what happens. I've tried before (like 2 months ago) and all I got was 5:45-6:15 wake-ups but that could have been OT too. He is sooo hard to figure out.

[becky1969]

Sounds to me like he's starting an OT cycle.  Something is going on that's making him a tad OT.  Some days he can get thru, which is why you get the longer naps.  Other days, not so much! So you get a shorter nap.  I think every night he's OT.  Moving the bedtime forward will help.  But you have to move it forward enough.  For instance, I tried to fight an OT cycle with my son by making bedtime 30 minutes earlier.  It didn't work, and I got frustrated.  Then, one night I accidentally put him down 1 hour earlier, and voila! He fell asleep quickly and then had a 13 hour night! We only needed that super early bedtime for a few days, and then we were able to have just a semi-early bedtime (30 minutes) after that until he was over the teething/growth spurt spell.

Give it a go, but be open to an even earlier bedtime if necessary.

[JulieNG]

So you think if he gets up from his nap at 2 I should put him down at 7 still and if he gets up any earlier try for 6?? Or do you think 7 is too late if he gets up at 2 or 2:30? With my daughter we did early bedtimes and she did great, I'm afraid my son will get up at the crack of dawn, but I know if usually works the opposite. Thanks, I'll try tonight and see what happens!

[JulieNG]

Becky,

How long will it take to break the OT cycle?? For a few days I tried to put him to bed at 6-6:15 and it the first day I put him down at 6 and he was asleep at 6:30. The 2nd day it took him over an hour to fall asleep. Now with the time change last night he went to bed at 6 (old time) and it still took 45 minutes to fall asleep. Today he woke at 6:15 (new time), napped at 12:10 (which was probably too late) and only slept till 1:35-1:40. Bed was at 7, but he fell right asleep.

[becky1969]

It's going to take consistency for at least a week.  And you have to be VERY consistent -- missing the sleep window one day pushes your recovery time back. 

The important thing is A time.  So, definitely a 12:10 nap time with a 6:15 am wake-up is too late.  That's why he only slept about an 1 hour/1h15.  He fell asleep immediately at 7 because he was zonkered! I don't know if you have  NW guy or not; if you do, then I suspect tonight will be a bit restless. If he doesn't usually have NWs, then I hope you don't end up with a 5 am waking tomorrow.

So, let's keep trying with a very consistent early bedtime.  If he chats some nights, then so what.  That means he just wasn't as tired that night.  Be consistent for a week, and then based on the week's results we can find a bedtime that suits him better.  But for now, do the early to bed thing, and I'll think you'll have pleasantly surprised! (there's another thread with this very same problem that you might be interested in -- http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=132857.0

[JulieNG]

Thanks for all your help. I will try again. Also, what A time do you recommend in the am so he sleeps longer?? Thanks!

[newmama12]

Julie, your ds sounds EXACTLY like my dd! I could have written (and most likely have on this board) the same post.

We have been struggling with ew's for the past month. When I say early, it's usually between 5:30-6am, although some days, like yesterday she woke at 5:10am. I struggle with nap b/c she's usually tired by 10/10:30 but I'm always afraid to put her down that early b/c she normally only naps 1-1.5 hours and then she'll be up by noon. Then we'll have a long and tiring afternoon. So...it's been a challenge. She is feeling her 2 year molars, so that's an issue. Most likely what is causing this to begin with. Her 'normal' wake up was usually around 6:30am. Then nap around noon and bed around 7pm. But that's all messed up now. Yesterday, she was up at 5:10am, we went out to the zoo to visit friends and I thought she would fall asleep in the car. She fought sleep till the end. She did not sleep and was up from 5:15-2pm! Then napped 50 minutes in the car on the way home. She was in bed at 6:30pm and woke at 6am. Did not make up for it, what so ever. That's the problem we've been having. I think I'm getting her too bed early enough, but apparently not since she's not making up for any lost sleep. She's been averaging about 11.5 hours total. Not all that great.

So, I'm still working on things here. It's so frustrating, as you know.